Annoying things on trains

Jasper

Striker
People putting bags on seats
Bores doing work on laptops
People standing up 10 minutes before the train arrives and messing about with their bags

Anything else?
I do all three of them because:
A-I don’t like smelly tramps sitting next to me
B-sometimes it’s more productive to work whilst travelling
C-I like to touch my bags they’re sensual
 

Fusco

Midfield
2 blokes on the 3.30 Edinburgh -Newc last Monday who worked for Swissport and were heading to Wakefield to fire someone who had an in-joke involving saying "arite son" in a soft Scottish accent to each other every 30 seconds. Fucking spenks.
 
Anyone who doesn’t just get on at the right door of the right carriage quickly, put their shit away and sit down out of the aisle. Ideally nowhere near me.

Reservation system always seems to fill a carriage up, so you are crushed in your reserved seat and there’s 3 empty carriages on the train

Wish it showed you which trains are the emptiest when you booked
 

MackemBob

Winger
Anyone who doesn’t just get on at the right door of the right carriage quickly, put their shit away and sit down out of the aisle. Ideally nowhere near me.

Reservation system always seems to fill a carriage up, so you are crushed in your reserved seat and there’s 3 empty carriages on the train

Wish it showed you which trains are the emptiest when you booked
Theres your million pound app idea right there.
 

a1970man

Midfield
The Trans Pennine Company providing a service that starts from Manchester airport, you know, where the planes are and people who get off planes who have cases, so the best train is one with enough space for 5 sodding cases in the luggage rack.

Cue isles, tables and walkways full of 20kg cases full up being kicked around the place.
 
Anyone who doesn’t just get on at the right door of the right carriage quickly, put their shit away and sit down out of the aisle. Ideally nowhere near me.

Reservation system always seems to fill a carriage up, so you are crushed in your reserved seat and there’s 3 empty carriages on the train

Wish it showed you which trains are the emptiest when you booked
They always leave at least one carriage (and often two) unreserved allowing people who had to book at short notice or wanted some flexibility in journey time the option of a seat, in fairness.
 

Marsden Mackem

Midfield
Anyone who doesn’t just get on at the right door of the right carriage quickly, put their shit away and sit down out of the aisle. Ideally nowhere near me.

Reservation system always seems to fill a carriage up, so you are crushed in your reserved seat and there’s 3 empty carriages on the train

Wish it showed you which trains are the emptiest when you booked
You used to be able to book your seat with a airline type plan year years ago on east coast, I used to always get the loner seat in the quiet coach gets around a lot of the stuff mentioned here. Now I avoid whatever coach my reserved seat is in cos thats exactly what they do fill those ones up. Its like airlines for sme reason people seem to lose number comprehension when getting on ie no seat 7 isnt anywhere near seat 64.

One side of the carriage having working plugs always the one not sat in.

The guard trying to be funny/a "character" when doing announcements.

Anyone who thinks I want to have a conversation with them.

Knowing people are stood outside the bog when having a crap, moreso when miscalculate and pulling into a station just as finishing so the audience is even bigger than the poeple waitung to use it.
 
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Slow joe

Midfield
People starting to eat their bait before the train start to move. Happens a lot on the 19:18 KX to Sunderland.

Asian tourists with their massive suitcases getting at the wrong end of the platform. Happens a lot on the 06:42 Sunderland to KX.
Eh ? Why should they wait for the train to start moving before eating ?
 

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