The Super spoilery Star Wars : The Last Jedi spoilers thread *don't even put your mouse over it*

[chriswallace85]

Casino scene and the couple of dodgy bits aside, I thought it was great. Was on the edge of my seat for most of and cried about 3 times.
The fight between Rey, Ren and the Crayolas was probably the best lightsaber fight ever.

I’m willing to bet that most of the haters are grown ups who’ve lost touch with what it would be like watching it as a 7 year old.

Wharra big girl's blouse. And there was bot all to keep you on the edge of your seat. It was predictable as fuck from the off.

That lightsaber fight was crap.

Now that’s a review by a Star Trek fan if ever I read one!
Some valid points, but you’ve gone way over the top there.

It reads like a proper Star Wars loving gadgie's review to me.

 

[Dave Herbal]

Wharra big girl's blouse. And there was bot all to keep you on the edge of your seat. It was predictable as fuck from the off.

That lightsaber fight was crap.


It reads like a proper Star Wars loving gadgie's review to me.

Apart from
Who are Rey’s parents?
Will Ren turn?
Will Luke join in or not?
Will Leia survive?

And every other sabre fight has been like a choreographed ballet with swords (apart from Luke gannin radge on Vader maybe), whereas this one was was much more visceral and sweaty.

And if you didn’t cry with joy when R2 played the hologram, you’re not a true SW fan.

 

[conrad]

Casino scene and the couple of dodgy bits aside, I thought it was great. Was on the edge of my seat for most of and cried about 3 times.
The fight between Rey, Ren and the Crayolas was probably the best lightsaber fight ever.

I’m willing to bet that most of the haters are grown ups who’ve lost touch with what it would be like watching it as a 7 year old.

I can’t believe how many are hating on it the shitty casino bit aside it was everything a Star Wars movie should be

 

[chriswallace85]

Apart from
Who are Rey’s parents?
Will Ren turn?
Will Luke join in or not?
Will Leia survive?

And every other sabre fight has been like a choreographed ballet with swords (apart from Luke gannin radge on Vader maybe), whereas this one was was much more visceral and sweaty.

And if you didn’t cry with joy when R2 played the hologram, you’re not a true SW fan.

I would hardly call any of those edge of your seat moments. The Leia was more a sit back with your arms out wide saying what the fuckin' fuck moment than owt else. Luke was blatantly going to join in.

 

[Giddup Sausage!]

Loved it me like, went to Metro at the 12.30 showing yesterday. As said, some proper "really, what the fuck" cringe moments in it which they didn't need to put in but on the whole was brilliant. Lots of twists and turns that I wasn't expecting and never knowing what is going to happen.

Should have scrapped the whole casino bit, watching that I totally lost all of what was happening elsewhere. BB8 is becoming some superhero droid that can do anything and everything which is bollocks. Leia flying about in space. Does the director like ginges or has the Empire taken on a new recruiting policy where everyone they hire are (shit acting) ginges!? Every scene had them in.

Has to be seen in 3D for the full effect with D-Box seats. Amazing some of the scenes and being smashed about in your chair as lasers hit the side of X-Wings etc.. Fantastic.

 

[chriswallace85]

And if you didn’t cry with joy when R2 played the hologram, you’re not a true SW fan.

One of the best bits of the film to be fair. I wouldn't say it was a tearjerker though.

 

[Giddup Sausage!]

Wharra big girl's blouse. And there was bot all to keep you on the edge of your seat. It was predictable as fuck from the off.

Spoiler: Spoliers

So you predicted we wouldn't still find out who Rens parents are? That leia wouldn't be toast in this one? That Luke would astral project himself to give them time to escape and then do an Obi One as he was fucked? That Snoke would die like that? That Luke almost killed Ben? That Ben got the wrong end of the stick thinking Luke was going to kill him and thus turned quicker? That Ben would kill Snoke? That the code breaker would sell them out? That Finn wasn't sacrificing himself? I could go on...

 

[Carpets]

A few questions....

If Leia can fly in space why didn’t she fly with a couple of jerry cans to the nearest Esso to get some fuel?

When did it become Carry on Star wars?

Was it mentioned how Rey got from fighting K-Ren to suddenly being on the Falcon?

 

[chriswallace85]

Spoiler: Spoliers

So you predicted we wouldn't still find out who Rens parents are? That leia wouldn't be toast in this one? That Luke would astral project himself to give them time to escape and then do an Obi One as he was fucked? That Snoke would die like that? That Luke almost killed Ben? That Ben got the wrong end of the stick thinking Luke was going to kill him and thus turned quicker? That Ben would kill Snoke? That the code breaker would sell them out? That Finn wasn't sacrificing himself? I could go on...

Before seeing the film - no. As it went on, yes. The Death Star throne room scene mkII was obvious as owt man. Luke/Ben was one of the better scenes fair play. Their 'dual' you could see what was going on straight away when Luke didn't make a footprint - I'm not 100% buying into the idea that that's even possible mind - the same goes for going full Supergirl in space. Del Toro was blatantly going to sell them out - the only surprising thing is that the First Order even bothered paying.

 

[Mackem Al]

A few questions....

If Leia can fly in space why didn’t she fly with a couple of jerry cans to the nearest Esso to get some fuel?

When did it become Carry on Star wars?

Was it mentioned how Rey got from fighting K-Ren to suddenly being on the Falcon?

All very valid questions. My answers below:

1) Great point, flying in space ffs. Utterly ridiculous along with the pathetic 5mph chase where the empire just dutifully followed them waiting for them to run out of petrol only firing sporadically every few momemts. Why on earth they didn't send out some tie fighters to blow the shit out of them. Haway Hux, get a grip... I've digressed again.

2) Correct. It seems the search for a few cheap laughs (Luke wiping his shoulder after getting blasted to shit by the AT-ATs for example) is all its about these days. The movie equivalent of Facebook likes.

3) It wasnt mentioned. More crap directing. I missed that in my earlier rant. Another missed opportunity to actually extend what had potential to be a good scene. She just appeared on the Falcon and nobody knows how.

Before seeing the film - no. As it went on, yes. The Death Star throne room scene mkII was obvious as owt man. Luke/Ben was one of the better scenes fair play. Their 'dual' you could see what was going on straight away when Luke didn't make a footprint - I'm not 100% buying into the idea that that's even possible mind - the same goes for going full Supergirl in space. Del Toro was blatantly going to sell them out - the only surprising thing is that the First Order even bothered paying.

Yeah, or once they'd paid, just kill him too. They tried to make him a new Boba Fett when really his role should have been the new Lando.

 

[Dave Herbal]

I would hardly call any of those edge of your seat moments. The Leia was more a sit back with your arms out wide saying what the fuckin' fuck moment than owt else. Luke was blatantly going to join in.

I don’t mean the superman shit, I meant in general, seeing as she’s well err dead.

You have no soul anyway, I wouldn’t expect you to be moved by it.

There’s 38,000 people giving it an average of 8.2 on IMDB, so anyone hating on it is clearly in a minority and best ignored.

 

[Tex]

It was absolute drivel. Hated it. They've took everything that star wars fans loved from their childhood and killed it. Shat all over it. Its just about money, they should call this a different name and start a new franchise because this has nothing to do with star wars. But they have to call it Star Wars to make billions from it. Arseholes.

Things I hated.
Leia flying through space like Superman and coming back to life. WTF
Fin waking up from a coma then wandering around with water spraying everywhere (WTF) and nobody batting an eyelid as he staggered round.
Fin is a crap character anyway
Luke given sabre - the whole cliffhanger from the ending of the last one - and then just throwing it over his shoulder and walking off. Its not a comedy franchise you twats.
Poe calling in for Hux and pretending to be on hold. More crap comedy crap.
Luke milking the tits from some weird looking space seal slug thing and slurping the milk like a tramp finding a milkshake in the bin.
The whole build up to who's Reys parents are and turns out they are just a couple of homeless nobodies from somewhere nobody knows.
Those ridiculous caretakers like something from a Beatrix Potter box, doing all Lukes washing, hanging it out on the line. CRAP
Porgs.... no more needs to be said.
That casino town was a waste of 20 minutes. Pointless.
Horse racing things escaping from the place.
Rey doing that finger clicking thing in the cave. What the fcuk. Building up to the nothingness of who her parents are.
The slowest, most drawn out chase in the history of films where the remaining rebel ships were always just of range.
Rose - I suppose they had to get a Chinese in there somewhere. Every other ethnicity was covered.
Phasma again a rubbish character and far too easily killed
Snoke supposedly the most powerful sith ever, was given no backstory, no idea where he came from and was killed far too easily.
BB8 driving Scout Walkers and any other manner of things.
Luke pathetic death at the end. No need for it and a terrible way to kill the character.
Just telling the audience "Oh by the way, Admiral Ackbar is dead"
At the end the entire resistence fitting inside the Millenium Falcon. Yeah, okay!!!
Lukes character not being true to him. He would never have tried to kill Ben Solo after detecting some darkness. He would have done what he did with Vader and tried to help him.
I watched it in 3D and that ugly as fuck big nosed munter Rebel Officer nearly had my eyes out a few times.
Political correctness in space.
Other than that, I was great!!

Well at least Jar Jar Binks isn’t in it. (Is he?)

 

[Mackem Al]

I don’t mean the superman shit, I meant in general, seeing as she’s well err dead.

You have no soul anyway, I wouldn’t expect you to be moved by it.

There’s 38,000 people giving it an average of 8.2 on IMDB, so anyone hating on it is clearly in a minority and best ignored.

That's a terrible stat. In the Star Wars Message Boards the overwhelming majority hate it. 38,000 is not really a large number given the number of people that have seen the movie and its a known fact that really only those who enjoyed the movie will be inclined to rush on IMDB and gush over how great they thought it was. Id say that the vast majority didn't like it. Probably if you liked it you are around 8 years old and the older you get the more you hate it. I must be f***ing ancient tbf

Well at least Jar Jar Binks isn’t in it. (Is he?)

I suppose we should be grateful for small mercies.

 

[chriswallace85]

I don’t mean the superman shit, I meant in general, seeing as she’s well err dead.

You have no soul anyway, I wouldn’t expect you to be moved by it.

There’s 38,000 people giving it an average of 8.2 on IMDB, so anyone hating on it is clearly in a minority and best ignored.

I've been listening to Marvin all morning man ya git divvy.

 

[Mackem Al]

Pretty much any star wars fan with a prior knowledge of the characters and Original Trilogy storylines and plots could have written a better pair of sequels than The Farce Awakens and The Last Jedi.

 

[chriswallace85]

Pretty much any star wars fan with a prior knowledge of the characters and Original Trilogy storylines and plots could have written a better pair of sequels than The Farce Awakens and The Last Jedi.

I've never bothered with the books but I bet they're a damn sight better than the tripe we've been served up.

I said beforehand that I'd give The Last Jedi a chance to save the new trilogy from the mess created by The Force Awakens. If they could pull it off then fine, if not, then for me it's not canon. They failed miserably. The story ended on Endor. End of.

One thing I do hope for however is that Lucas's story treatment for his sequel trilogy one day is released.

I feel sorry for Mark Hamill me. He's gone about it like a total pro, but there was a better story out there for his signature role.

 

[mackembuddha]

Well at least Jar Jar Binks isn’t in it. (Is he?)

WHAT!!!

 

[Dave Herbal]

That's a terrible stat. In the Star Wars Message Boards the overwhelming majority hate it. 38,000 is not really a large number given the number of people that have seen the movie and its a known fact that really only those who enjoyed the movie will be inclined to rush on IMDB and gush over how great they thought it was. Id say that the vast majority didn't like it. Probably if you liked it you are around 8 years old and the older you get the more you hate it. I must be f***ing ancient tbf



I suppose we should be grateful for small mercies.

I’d have thought more people would be inclined to rush on and slag it off. They certainly do on here.

 

[Mackem Al]

I've never bothered with the books but I bet they're a damn sight better than the tripe we've been served up.

I said beforehand that I'd give The Last Jedi a chance to save the new trilogy from the mess created by The Force Awakens. If they could pull it off then fine, if not, then for me it's not canon. They failed miserably. The story ended on Endor. End of.

One thing I do hope for however is that Lucas's story treatment for his sequel trilogy one day is released.

I feel sorry for Mark Hamill me. He's gone about it like a total pro, but there was a better story out there for his signature role.

Absolutely 100% agree with all of that. The character Luke dies aged around 50. That's a disgrace.

 

[Dave Herbal]

That's a terrible stat. In the Star Wars Message Boards the overwhelming majority hate it. 38,000 is not really a large number given the number of people that have seen the movie and its a known fact that really only those who enjoyed the movie will be inclined to rush on IMDB and gush over how great they thought it was. Id say that the vast majority didn't like it. Probably if you liked it you are around 8 years old and the older you get the more you hate it. I must be f***ing ancient tbf



I suppose we should be grateful for small mercies.

I’ve just looked and the first one I could get on gave it 9/10