Making new friends/getting a girlfriend at 42



ErichZann said:
Forget about women - at least for a bit. Workout, travel, learn and do things for YOU.
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Also do this.

Women don't look for blokes who are actively seeking a relationship. They seek out blokes who have their shit together and can hold a conversation. The gym also helps.

In the year or so gap I had between relationships, I went to the gym, I joined a Sunday League side, I was always up for a pint, I followed the lads, I learned basic Spanish. I wrote half a book.

Pursue your interests, work on yourself. Don't let 'seperated, single, living at my parents' define you. This is an opportunity not a set back.
 
Seaham Towny said:
Also do this.

Women don't look for blokes who are actively seeking a relationship. They seek out blokes who have their shit together and can hold a conversation. The gym also helps.

In the year or so gap I had between relationships, I went to the gym, I joined a Sunday League side, I was always up for a pint, I followed the lads, I learned basic Spanish. I wrote half a book.

Pursue your interests, work on yourself. Don't let 'seperated, single, living at my parents' define you. This is an opportunity not a set back.
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Even easier in this day and age where you just have to sign up and swipe to get a date/relationship going, leaving plenty of time to persue other things.
 
dangermows said:
Even easier in this day and age where you just have to sign up and swipe to get a date/relationship going, leaving plenty of time to persue other things.
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Problem is mate, they have to swipe back, and I’m not confident enough in my fizzog doing the business. I was always able to bat above my average with my charisma, but that doesn’t come across on tinder.
 
Although I didn’t move as far away as where I grew up and my mates are, I can’t emphasise enough how much going to the gym, my skydiving hobby, gaming and occasional 5 a side helps. Before that I was just stuck at home after work and the only people I got to speak to where online. I still do that and we are all good mates, but I did need to just get out more.
 
jedi_toaster said:
Problem is mate, they have to swipe back, and I’m not confident enough in my fizzog doing the business. I was always able to bat above my average with my charisma, but that doesn’t come across on tinder.
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Get yourself some snapchat filters on the go. The chicks do it so why can't you? Then on the first date hit them with the charm offensive.

Edit. And your todger (consent sought obvs).
 
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jedi_toaster said:
I packed in drinking a few years ago, but it sounds like I’ll have to get back on it!
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Wow, that's a good sign that like, the fact you haven't been hammering it in this situation. I'd suggest getting into the 5-a-side or Sunday league team. That's always good not just to keep your body in good shape but also the social side.
 
jedi_toaster said:
Problem is mate, they have to swipe back, and I’m not confident enough in my fizzog doing the business. I was always able to bat above my average with my charisma, but that doesn’t come across on tinder.
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You could try Match.com if you really want to get back into the dating game, but if I were you, I'd just get out there and meet some people.
I can't speak highly enough of a good pub quiz!

Snappy said:
Get yourself some snapchat filters on the go. The chicks do it so why can't you? Then on the first date hit them with the charm offensive.

Edit. And your todger (consent sought obvs).
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You're the kind of wrong'un that puts bunny ears on your dong aren't you.
 
Keawyeds said:
You could try Match.com if you really want to get back into the dating game, but if I were you, I'd just get out there and meet some people.
I can't speak highly enough of a good pub quiz!



You're the kind of wrong'un that puts bunny ears on your dong aren't you.
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Aye, little bunny tail on me balls.

Who gave you access to my gallery?! :evil:
 
Tough situation to be in but do try to find the positives about you and your life. Two kids for a start.
I know depression, it gives you an artificially low self esteem. This may sound silly and it is a bit, but give it a try.
Take a look in the mirror. When you're depressed you see this glum face looking back at you which just compounds the issue. So make a silly face at yourself and give yourself a smile. Make a habit of doing this and you might even start to feel good about yourself again.
All the best to you mate.
 
jedi_toaster said:
I’ve avoided talking about this on here for a few months as I’m not really in a place to deal with the inevitable piss-taking, but I really need to talk to people now. My wife has left me after 23 years of relationship and 17 years of marriage. It was totally out of the blue for me and came after I had been silently suffering from depression for the best part of a year (probably as a result of my selfishness, but she could have at least asked me if something was wrong or if I needed some help). I don’t want to go into that f***ing shit show of a mess, so I’ll leave it at this - I’m now a 42 year old man living at his mum and dad’s house in Fulwell (thankfully they’re in their house in France until September so I’m pretending it’s my house), I have 2 kids - 15 and 18 who visit me when they can, but obviously I can’t confess my despair to them. I’m totally broken-hearted and trying to deal with it on my own.

Due to growing up down south, all my proper friends live 250 miles away and I really don’t have any good friends in Sunderland. This means I don’t go out anywhere, and just sit stewing every night, trying to watch everything on Netflix before I eventually die. So my question to the SMB is - how do I make new friends, and how do I meet women (fuck tinder and that bollocks...I’m an analogue 20th century boy)? I’ve lost my best friend in my wife, and she used to be enough for me to be content. But now I’m so lonely and bored that I can feel myself ageing minute by minute.

I’d like to get back into playing sport, badminton, 5 a side, anything really, just to start living. I hate the idea of just walking into somewhere that I don’t know anybody as I come across as an extrovert, but I’m really as shy as most of us feel in those type of situations.

I’m rambling on now, so if you got this far thanks. I think I just need people to talk to, to reassure me that life will go on and one day I’ll feel happy again.
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There is a bunch of us who play 5 a side twice a week if you want I can add you the list of players.
 

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