Making new friends/getting a girlfriend at 42



Honestly mate it’s possible. Just get out to new places and converse. You will be surprised.

I went back to college this year at 27 part time and made loads of new mates. Ones even integrated with my old mates too so it’s been mint.

Never too old to meet new people like.

I once made a good mate as a teenager swapping records through a website actually.
 
dangermows said:
Tremendous post.
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My original post disappeared into the post I quoted.

I clicked edit and noticed my post had quote at the end of it, burying it into the quoted post.

No problem, I'll just delete the quote that had strangely appeared at the end of it . I did that resent the post and quote was back again. I did this a couple of times, each time it came back and so buried what I had typed. I then deleted the whole lot and gave up.

It's also just done the same thing on my last post.

Hope that helps
 
jedi_toaster said:
I packed in drinking a few years ago, but it sounds like I’ll have to get back on it!
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Same happened to me 4 year ago wife leaving and my world fell apart, took a few months of moping around then got on match.com (the free ones are shite) and I met some really nice ladies and had some cracking times, even met one who was really lovely, and she made me realise life was not over at 45
Chin up man
 
Hue Jorgan said:
Same happened to me 4 year ago wife leaving and my world fell apart, took a few months of moping around then got on match.com (the free ones are shite) and I met some really nice ladies and had some cracking times, even met one who was really lovely, and she made me realise life was not over at 45
Chin up man
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I don't think his chin was quite what he had in mind.
 
Plenty of well meaning good advice from your fellow supporters mate,as ever. All I can add is that things do get better in time;don’t jump into another relationship too quickly though,having the time alone often helps you work through your feelings,even though it feels lonely at times. There are lots of these dating sites and apps that are full of people who are looking to replace a relationship they’re no longer in-make sure you’re ready,if you choose that path. You’ll heal in your own time.

It’s a very tough thing to go through,but you’re still a young fella with plenty of life to live. There are some great people out there who have been through all sorts in life,try to do the things you really enjoy;get in touch with old friends wherever they are-it does help.
 
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jedi_toaster said:
I’ve avoided talking about this on here for a few months as I’m not really in a place to deal with the inevitable piss-taking, but I really need to talk to people now. My wife has left me after 23 years of relationship and 17 years of marriage. It was totally out of the blue for me and came after I had been silently suffering from depression for the best part of a year (probably as a result of my selfishness, but she could have at least asked me if something was wrong or if I needed some help). I don’t want to go into that f***ing shit show of a mess, so I’ll leave it at this - I’m now a 42 year old man living at his mum and dad’s house in Fulwell (thankfully they’re in their house in France until September so I’m pretending it’s my house), I have 2 kids - 15 and 18 who visit me when they can, but obviously I can’t confess my despair to them. I’m totally broken-hearted and trying to deal with it on my own.

Due to growing up down south, all my proper friends live 250 miles away and I really don’t have any good friends in Sunderland. This means I don’t go out anywhere, and just sit stewing every night, trying to watch everything on Netflix before I eventually die. So my question to the SMB is - how do I make new friends, and how do I meet women (fuck tinder and that bollocks...I’m an analogue 20th century boy)? I’ve lost my best friend in my wife, and she used to be enough for me to be content. But now I’m so lonely and bored that I can feel myself ageing minute by minute.

I’d like to get back into playing sport, badminton, 5 a side, anything really, just to start living. I hate the idea of just walking into somewhere that I don’t know anybody as I come across as an extrovert, but I’m really as shy as most of us feel in those type of situations.

I’m rambling on now, so if you got this far thanks. I think I just need people to talk to, to reassure me that life will go on and one day I’ll feel happy again.
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Might sound simplistic but you've got to rediscover the things that made you tick when you were younger...to know yourself
When we're young there was less to understand about ourselves. The mind is so complex time just lets us dwell on all of life's setbacks till they all stack up into a jumbled mess in our minds.

Get yourself back out there and don't look back
 
Ower lass goes to this gym place, not really a gym just loads of different classes. But she said theres always people coming by them selves and everyone makes them welcome. You get paired up with random people sometimes and it sounds more a social thing than an actual fitness thing. It's probably 90% lasses so I imagine it being ideal for pulling birds. Act like a bit of a puff and they will love you. This and pubs is the answer
 
Ginger John said:
So sorry to hear all that. Have a hug. It's really tough when a relationship breaks down.

Respect your decision on the depression issue but just wanted to say that if you change your mind, please do join us on the depression thread as plenty on there will support you.

Are there any local independant gyms nearby? I've joined one at Birtley which is just run by one lad. It's pretty basic in an industrial unit but what makes it better than all your fancy chain gyms is that the bloke actually cares about people, not just in the gym but helping with diet, emotional issues and all sorts. I'm training there three times a week now and have made some good friends with people I've met there. I'm shy too but once I got over the first couple of sessions, I just felt like I fit in there. Ask around and see if there is a similar set up nearer to you.

Do you go to the match at all? There's a group of us meet up before the match for a natter. You're more than welcome to join us. All very nice people and I've made good friends there too. Shame it's the close season now mind!

I've got free time this weekend if you fancy a natter over a cuppa/pint/walk on the beach etc.
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What a person you are.x

jedi_toaster said:
Had one. Now he lives with the ex in my old house because my daughter loves him so much I couldn’t split them up.


I’m self employed mate, and work with pretty much my only friend up here. It’s the only thing I miss about working for a big company - being amongst loads of people that you can crack on with. My problem is that I’m a terrible misanthrope and have a tendency to approach everything as if it’s going to be shit so why bother...I’ve got a lot of work to do on my personal growth if I’m honest.
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Do not put yourself down mate.
Two kids for a start that should make you feel proud, even though sometimes they drive you insane. Marriage is an institution and once it’s taken away it’s almost back to civvy street and an initial feeling of the unknown.
Easy to post but your confidence and self esteem needs lifting first and that’s all changeable mate.
Some decent posts on here and right now it’s getting out meeting people and slowly getting back to the person that you may not think you are right now.
Where was home down South Mate ?
 
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jedi_toaster said:
I’ve avoided talking about this on here for a few months as I’m not really in a place to deal with the inevitable piss-taking, but I really need to talk to people now. My wife has left me after 23 years of relationship and 17 years of marriage. It was totally out of the blue for me and came after I had been silently suffering from depression for the best part of a year (probably as a result of my selfishness, but she could have at least asked me if something was wrong or if I needed some help). I don’t want to go into that f***ing shit show of a mess, so I’ll leave it at this - I’m now a 42 year old man living at his mum and dad’s house in Fulwell (thankfully they’re in their house in France until September so I’m pretending it’s my house), I have 2 kids - 15 and 18 who visit me when they can, but obviously I can’t confess my despair to them. I’m totally broken-hearted and trying to deal with it on my own.

Due to growing up down south, all my proper friends live 250 miles away and I really don’t have any good friends in Sunderland. This means I don’t go out anywhere, and just sit stewing every night, trying to watch everything on Netflix before I eventually die. So my question to the SMB is - how do I make new friends, and how do I meet women (fuck tinder and that bollocks...I’m an analogue 20th century boy)? I’ve lost my best friend in my wife, and she used to be enough for me to be content. But now I’m so lonely and bored that I can feel myself ageing minute by minute.

I’d like to get back into playing sport, badminton, 5 a side, anything really, just to start living. I hate the idea of just walking into somewhere that I don’t know anybody as I come across as an extrovert, but I’m really as shy as most of us feel in those type of situations.

I’m rambling on now, so if you got this far thanks. I think I just need people to talk to, to reassure me that life will go on and one day I’ll feel happy again.
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Best of luck mate .Our lass is having a couple of days at a daughters place and I'm lost without her so fuck nars what it's like for you . Remember, being on the shelf is being on view . There's fanny arl ower just gan find a bit .
 
Been through similar. Horrendously shy and lacking in confidence.
Took six month but Tinder has turned up gold.

I got blue cock with a Skins King Size blob this week.

Things will turn out ok man.
 
You don’t need a girlfriend you just need friends. You need to get over the ex first. No point jumping straight into another relationship as you’re obviously not ready.

Shame the season is just about over. Meet some brilliant people going to the match :)

What about live music? Small gigs would be a good place to meet people maybe ?
 
jedi_toaster said:
I’ve avoided talking about this on here for a few months as I’m not really in a place to deal with the inevitable piss-taking, but I really need to talk to people now. My wife has left me after 23 years of relationship and 17 years of marriage. It was totally out of the blue for me and came after I had been silently suffering from depression for the best part of a year (probably as a result of my selfishness, but she could have at least asked me if something was wrong or if I needed some help). I don’t want to go into that f***ing shit show of a mess, so I’ll leave it at this - I’m now a 42 year old man living at his mum and dad’s house in Fulwell (thankfully they’re in their house in France until September so I’m pretending it’s my house), I have 2 kids - 15 and 18 who visit me when they can, but obviously I can’t confess my despair to them. I’m totally broken-hearted and trying to deal with it on my own.

Due to growing up down south, all my proper friends live 250 miles away and I really don’t have any good friends in Sunderland. This means I don’t go out anywhere, and just sit stewing every night, trying to watch everything on Netflix before I eventually die. So my question to the SMB is - how do I make new friends, and how do I meet women (fuck tinder and that bollocks...I’m an analogue 20th century boy)? I’ve lost my best friend in my wife, and she used to be enough for me to be content. But now I’m so lonely and bored that I can feel myself ageing minute by minute.

I’d like to get back into playing sport, badminton, 5 a side, anything really, just to start living. I hate the idea of just walking into somewhere that I don’t know anybody as I come across as an extrovert, but I’m really as shy as most of us feel in those type of situations.

I’m rambling on now, so if you got this far thanks. I think I just need people to talk to, to reassure me that life will go on and one day I’ll feel happy again.
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Keep away from @Snappy he’s a wrongun.
 

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