Making new friends/getting a girlfriend at 42

Status
Not open for further replies.


MackneyHackem said:
I would highly recommend getting a dog if your work circumstances allow for it.

It'll stop you feeling lonely and the lasses will be all over you like a flies round shit.
Click to expand...
That's a problem I've encountered ,all single lasses have dogs and they're mental ones but "lovely" ,not !
 
jedi_toaster said:
I’ve avoided talking about this on here for a few months as I’m not really in a place to deal with the inevitable piss-taking, but I really need to talk to people now. My wife has left me after 23 years of relationship and 17 years of marriage. It was totally out of the blue for me and came after I had been silently suffering from depression for the best part of a year (probably as a result of my selfishness, but she could have at least asked me if something was wrong or if I needed some help). I don’t want to go into that f***ing shit show of a mess, so I’ll leave it at this - I’m now a 42 year old man living at his mum and dad’s house in Fulwell (thankfully they’re in their house in France until September so I’m pretending it’s my house), I have 2 kids - 15 and 18 who visit me when they can, but obviously I can’t confess my despair to them. I’m totally broken-hearted and trying to deal with it on my own.

Due to growing up down south, all my proper friends live 250 miles away and I really don’t have any good friends in Sunderland. This means I don’t go out anywhere, and just sit stewing every night, trying to watch everything on Netflix before I eventually die. So my question to the SMB is - how do I make new friends, and how do I meet women (fuck tinder and that bollocks...I’m an analogue 20th century boy)? I’ve lost my best friend in my wife, and she used to be enough for me to be content. But now I’m so lonely and bored that I can feel myself ageing minute by minute.

I’d like to get back into playing sport, badminton, 5 a side, anything really, just to start living. I hate the idea of just walking into somewhere that I don’t know anybody as I come across as an extrovert, but I’m really as shy as most of us feel in those type of situations.

I’m rambling on now, so if you got this far thanks. I think I just need people to talk to, to reassure me that life will go on and one day I’ll feel happy again.
Click to expand...
Possibly look at this from a different angle. Instead of looking to make friends, and women specifically, look to take up new interests or expand current interests.
I'm lucky that I've had a few good groups of mates for years so wasn't looking to meet new people but I was struggling with my second novel so joined a writing group, expecting to go once, hate everyone and never go back.
Turns out that they were a really good bunch and whilst I get stick for referring to them as my 'writing friends' as opposed to my 'real friends', it's a whole new group of friends I never expected and I get on great with them. (Some of them post on here so I best be nice.;)).
I think if you try and force a friendship or go into something 'looking for love' for want of a better phrase, you might come across as unnatural.
Not sure of your interests but there's a whole world of free workshops and groups etc knocking about. Check out things like Cultural Spring and Sunderland Vibe.
Coffee shops are usually good hubs for groups. Fausto over that side of the water has loads of stuff going on.
 
jedi_toaster said:
I’ve avoided talking about this on here for a few months as I’m not really in a place to deal with the inevitable piss-taking, but I really need to talk to people now. My wife has left me after 23 years of relationship and 17 years of marriage. It was totally out of the blue for me and came after I had been silently suffering from depression for the best part of a year (probably as a result of my selfishness, but she could have at least asked me if something was wrong or if I needed some help). I don’t want to go into that f***ing shit show of a mess, so I’ll leave it at this - I’m now a 42 year old man living at his mum and dad’s house in Fulwell (thankfully they’re in their house in France until September so I’m pretending it’s my house), I have 2 kids - 15 and 18 who visit me when they can, but obviously I can’t confess my despair to them. I’m totally broken-hearted and trying to deal with it on my own.

Due to growing up down south, all my proper friends live 250 miles away and I really don’t have any good friends in Sunderland. This means I don’t go out anywhere, and just sit stewing every night, trying to watch everything on Netflix before I eventually die. So my question to the SMB is - how do I make new friends, and how do I meet women (fuck tinder and that bollocks...I’m an analogue 20th century boy)? I’ve lost my best friend in my wife, and she used to be enough for me to be content. But now I’m so lonely and bored that I can feel myself ageing minute by minute.

I’d like to get back into playing sport, badminton, 5 a side, anything really, just to start living. I hate the idea of just walking into somewhere that I don’t know anybody as I come across as an extrovert, but I’m really as shy as most of us feel in those type of situations.

I’m rambling on now, so if you got this far thanks. I think I just need people to talk to, to reassure me that life will go on and one day I’ll feel happy again.
Click to expand...

Sorry to hear that.

Sport is a good idea, you'll find people needing 5s player on here or on facebook.

Theatre is also a good suggestion.

Is there a bowls club near you? Not all old guys as you may think, decent social side, cheap to get in to and if you're any good at pool/golf you'll pick it up pretty easily.
 
Try volunteering if you can. You will meet loads of people.

Get out to as many as you are able initially then maybe concentrate on the ones you like.
 
The dating game is all on line these days mind. Still, not a bad thing, gone are the days of staring at beauty across the bar for yonks, bottling it and going off with a munter. Nowt to lose now, just fire off a message or whatever and if it's a no, no harm done.
 
CraigyLee said:
It is mate ... rather than worry about my ever amounting debt, my failing relationship and shite stressful going nowhere career ... I’m always thinking about how to get that ruddy club face closed to the path I’m swinging on, putt I left short on 11 in the medal on Sunday and why I chipped into the bunker on 4 in the Wednesday midweek medal
Click to expand...
Bloody hell Craig
 
jedi_toaster said:
I’ve avoided talking about this on here for a few months as I’m not really in a place to deal with the inevitable piss-taking, but I really need to talk to people now. My wife has left me after 23 years of relationship and 17 years of marriage. It was totally out of the blue for me and came after I had been silently suffering from depression for the best part of a year (probably as a result of my selfishness, but she could have at least asked me if something was wrong or if I needed some help). I don’t want to go into that f***ing shit show of a mess, so I’ll leave it at this - I’m now a 42 year old man living at his mum and dad’s house in Fulwell (thankfully they’re in their house in France until September so I’m pretending it’s my house), I have 2 kids - 15 and 18 who visit me when they can, but obviously I can’t confess my despair to them. I’m totally broken-hearted and trying to deal with it on my own.

Due to growing up down south, all my proper friends live 250 miles away and I really don’t have any good friends in Sunderland. This means I don’t go out anywhere, and just sit stewing every night, trying to watch everything on Netflix before I eventually die. So my question to the SMB is - how do I make new friends, and how do I meet women (fuck tinder and that bollocks...I’m an analogue 20th century boy)? I’ve lost my best friend in my wife, and she used to be enough for me to be content. But now I’m so lonely and bored that I can feel myself ageing minute by minute.

I’d like to get back into playing sport, badminton, 5 a side, anything really, just to start living. I hate the idea of just walking into somewhere that I don’t know anybody as I come across as an extrovert, but I’m really as shy as most of us feel in those type of situations.

I’m rambling on now, so if you got this far thanks. I think I just need people to talk to, to reassure me that life will go on and one day I’ll feel happy again.
Click to expand...

Check www.meetup.com for any number of activities and interests from likeminded people.

Really simple to use and a great way to get out of the house and meet new friends
 
The 5-a-side board on here would be a great place to start if you like footy. It's the un-written rule of the game that you can secure 9 names each week with some certainty and need a hero to make 10!

Is the fella you work with worth getting out with, maybe get involved a little in his social circle? Doesn't mean you have to be with him all the time, but might open some doors?

The Sinful Dwarf said:
You mentioned having one mate up here. Can you play out with him and his mates? Might help introduce you to others, and at least get you out of the house once in a while.
Click to expand...

Great minds!
 
Sign up for some sort of evening course that's popular with women.

Personally I'd find it very difficult to use a dating app but that's because I am old. Being ugly and fat doesn't help either. However if you can overcome that initial awkwardness I'm sure it will pay dividends. It does seem to work for lots of people.

I guess younger people are more willing to put their trust in something like an app that rather than waste endless nights in pubs hoping to pull. At least you know with an app that whoever you meet, if they like you, is prepared to form a relationship.

If underneath you are a tramp you could, if you get used to it, use these apps to shag out that moves. It sounds like you aren't looking for that.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Back
Top