Crap work “Secret Santa” presents

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mux said:
We done it a few years ago but the point was it had to cost a quid.

Naturally everyone went to the pound shop and as a result people ended up with Santa hats and shit band annuals.

I bought a letterbox.
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We said that we’d let Erin (she’s 2) choose us a present each from the pound shop this year. She picked up mouth wash originally for her Mam then changed it for some socks.

I’ll be sure to tell you what I get on the day.

Mackem Dave said:
My team decided they weren't doing it this year because they are miserable twats. I normally try and get something that is personal to the person but also a bit of a joke. I always get beard oil. Every f***ing year.
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Would be canny if you had a beard?
 
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Mackem Dave said:
My team decided they weren't doing it this year because they are miserable twats. I normally try and get something that is personal to the person but also a bit of a joke. I always get beard oil. Every f***ing year.
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I think they are trying to t lol you your beard is a bit manky and could do with some TLC!
 
We have a secret Santa. Which isn’t actually secret Santa but the daft bint running it doesn’t understand the concept of it. £5 limit. I’ve bought a magic 8 ball. I’d be happy with a bottle of red.
 
Goat Eyes said:
We said that we’d let Erin (she’s 2) choose us a present each from the pound shop this year. She picked up mouth wash originally for her Mam then changed it for some socks.

I’ll be sure to tell you what I get on the day.


Would be canny if you had a beard?
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Mick Dundee said:
I think they are trying to t lol you your beard is a bit manky and could do with some TLC!
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I've barely got a beard. Bit longer than stubble that gets trimmed every week. Not long enough for oil like
 
errant said:
Ouch... Merry Christmas...
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Quite lucky he would have been quite bit more pissed if it was used and delivered to him by pistol or rifle - here yer go twat express delivery Bang:eek::lol:

We had one with 20 people in it. Stopped it after last year because the gifts got way to risque and people were getting embarrassed opening them at the Christmas Dinner with about two hundred there. - falling about creased up....Good laugh turned out the gifts the lasses bought were far fruitier than those purchased by the lads. Some red faces about :lol:
 
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Many many years ago (late '80's) a tidy lass at the office I worked in at the time turned up to the Christmas party in a leopard-print catsuit and black thigh-high boots.

Her secret santa gift was a leather cat-o-nine-tails whip.

They don't have Christmas parties like that any more......
 
The best secret Santa present I’ve seen was one of the lads at work gave someone a massive printed canvas photo of himself pulling a daft pose, the lad he gifted it to hung it up in the office and it’s still there to this day

I got a shit secret Santa gift this year, 2 x £2 scratch cards that both lost and a selection box, I was like aye nice one cheers
 
Somebody got me a Sunderland scarf this year. Was made up with that like.

Can’t see what’s wrong with it myself. Never had a shite present. Last year somebody got four good German beers and a box of mince pies for me.
 
Slightly off-subject, but the office I work in - for nearly thirty years now - used to run a Christmas charity raffle.

Three years running I won the same Mr Blobby CD single - I'd never re-cycled any of the ones I'd won - some f@@ker must have had a job lot of the b@@tards and put them in as a prize every year.
 
Nowt worse than when you see gear that is blatantly regifted (its f***ing obvious people) or instances where the person has blatantly spent only a fraction of the budget, utter shithousery.

When we draw ours I’ll just be brazen ususally and tell them openly exactly what type of wine or beer whoever can get me for under a tenner... then i’ll get a pack of Carlsberg or sommet :lol::cry:
 
Jimmer13 said:
Quite lucky he would have been quite bit more pissed if it was used and delivered to him by pistol or rifle - here yer go twat express delivery Bang:eek::lol:

We had one with 20 people in it. Stopped it after last year because the gifts got way to risque and people were getting embarrassed opening them at the Christmas Dinner with about two hundred there. - falling about creased up....Good laugh turned out the gifts the lasses bought were far fruitier than those purchased by the lads. Some red faces about :lol:
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Sounds like a lab I worked in. One lad was curious as his was in a large box but it was very light. All the managers and directors came to watch people open there presents. There was a sharp collective intake of breath as he opened the box and an inflatable sexy sheep filled with helium floated up to the ceiling :lol::lol:
 
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