Annoying things on films...

[Tex]

I was watching Airplane! last night and wondered why a passenger jet was making the noise of a propeller plane? Also I don't think automatic pilots are Inflatable.....

You do realise it’s a comedy.
Shirley you can’t be serious!

Whenever a group of people are making their escape via a rickety rope bridge, the lass is contractually compelled to fall between the slats and need the hero to grab her wrist and save her from falling into the chasm to her death. Inevitably at least one of the chasing villains will actually fall.

See also making an escape via a narrow ledge on a mountain pathway.

I e mentioned this on similar threads previously but after shagging a bloke is able to don his kecks and strides together in one fluid movement (as noted, without even wiping her quim juice off his bellend) and be about his business. In reality he would catch his big toe on the waistband of his jeans, go clumsily hopping about the bedroom before crashing into the chest of drawers and knocking over the priceless family heirloom capo dimonti ornament and cutting his feet on the broken china.

In car chase scenes, the cars always crash into fruit and veg stalls.

People being rendered unconscious by a karate chop to the back of the neck.

The late Roger Ebert (America’s Barry Norman) had a book with all these daft observations in. This one is such a cliche that he claimed to have been in a cinema and when the car chase began someone in the audience yelled ‘Fruit cart!’

 

[Bulwell]

I can't be doing with John Wick films. He can be alone in a house armed with nothing more than a toothbrush and would still take out 48 SAS guys armed to the teeth who swarmed the house.

Also the guy armed with a handgun who takes out a dozen men who have machine guns. All his shots hit the target but he can run and gambol over 10 metres of open ground and they still can't hit him.

 

[Kid Galahad]

You do realise it’s a comedy.
Shirley you can’t be serious!

Whenever a group of people are making their escape via a rickety rope bridge, the lass is contractually compelled to fall between the slats and need the hero to grab her wrist and save her from falling into the chasm to her death. Inevitably at least one of the chasing villains will actually fall.

See also making an escape via a narrow ledge on a mountain pathway.

I e mentioned this on similar threads previously but after shagging a bloke is able to don his kecks and strides together in one fluid movement (as noted, without even wiping her quim juice off his bellend) and be about his business. In reality he would catch his big toe on the waistband of his jeans, go clumsily hopping about the bedroom before crashing into the chest of drawers and knocking over the priceless family heirloom capo dimonti ornament and cutting his feet on the broken china.



The late Roger Ebert (America’s Barry Norman) had a book with all these daft observations in. This one is such a cliche that he claimed to have been in a cinema and when the car chase began someone in the audience yelled ‘Fruit cart!’

I am, and don't call me Shirley !

 

[Deleted member 559]

Maybe it's just my hearing deteriorating but so many films and programmes nowadays seem to have actors mumbling their words or talking in breathy half-whispers to the extent I cannot understand what they are saying.

I believe "Poldark" was seriously panned for this with loads of complaints about indistinct dialogue.

It's not just a recent thing: I've been watching "Prime Suspect" from the 80s on Netflix and the character played by Tom Bell talks tight-lipped all the time and is very hard to hear.

SS-GB got slammed for that as well.

 

[houst69]

This was actually in Scary Movie.

Busty female running away from masked killer, has 4 choices of weapon, gun, knife, sword or banana and she will always choose banana

 

[Tex]

SS-GB got slammed for that as well.

I feel his pain as I’m hard of hearing. (Don’t Anyone reply ‘pardon’ you boring, boring twats!). Cinema volume is either unintelligible mumble or brain splittingly loud. Nee better at home when you turn it up and when the adverts come on the windows are rattling it’s so loud.

 

[Deleted member 559]

I feel his pain as I’m hard of hearing. (Don’t Anyone reply ‘pardon’ you boring, boring twats!). Cinema volume is either unintelligible mumble or brain splittingly loud. Nee better at home when you turn it up and when the adverts come on the windows are rattling it’s so loud.

Hearing aids

This was actually in Scary Movie.

Busty female running away from masked killer, has 4 choices of weapon, gun, knife, sword or banana and she will always choose banana

Scary Movie was brilliant for playing on all the old cliches. Scream was bloody good too.

 

[Tex]

Villain chases hero
Villain catches hero
Massive pagga ensues
Hero is beaten within an inch of his life
Hero makes a recovery worthy of Lazarus
Hero fettles villain
[up to this point I’ve described every WWE plot and every super hero film out there]
Hero disarms villain
Instead of hero shooting the villain in the face he drops the gun and nashes off, leaving the villain to revive, dust himself off, pick up the gun and resume the chase.

The above is particularly common in slasher type fillums.

 

[Fawkes]

The Wilhelm scream.

 

[Deleted member 559]

The Wilhelm scream.

Add in the Praxis effect

 

[Cockney Mackem]

When people wrap a towel round themselves in a film and it won't budge even if a force 10 hurricane suddenly kicks off, whereas in real life just switching hands with your toothbrush causes the fucker to drop round your ankles

 

[scotch]

Sofas being bullet sponges

 

[Kid Galahad]

Sofas being bullet sponges

Ditto when people get shot from close range and it's so close to the surface they can dig it out with a pen knife!

 

[Dark Traveller]

One scene that bugs the life out of me is in Spectre.

Bond is getting the shit kicked out of him on a train, big bloke built like a tank is using him to wreck tables, walls, doors. The lass Bond is with is also suffering a beating. But the both manage to Chuck the big bloke of the train, before collapsing in a exhausted painful duo on the train floor. Next shot they pulling each other’s clothes off and going at it like rabbits!

Batman supposedly has no super powers yet occasionally appears to fly

That’s just falling with style

 

[gazc24]

Accuracy.

Got this god awful Lone Ranger film on in the background and theres been about 10 instances of people not being able to shoot someone 5 feet in front of them but have no bother shooting locks on moving trains from 200 yards while riding a horse.

Pure shite.

Ok San andres, the rock fly a helicopter over thousands of people on roof tops to save his ex wife, they crash in a shopping mall and find a car with keys within 30 seconds, then happen upon a fully fueled plane, skydive into a city 20ft away from a boat that's fast enough to get over a massive wave, they then stumble upon a sinking skyscraper that his daughter just happens to be on that floor on sea level....but I can see how people being bad shots can be annoying

 

[Jasper]

The Wilhelm scream.

That’s not annoying though its brilliant

 

[oyoysaveloy]

People talking to each via mirrors ffs just turn round
people on computers tapping away on keyboards when you know the majority of what they are doing would be done with a mouse anyway

 

[tooliohelmet]

I tell you what that annoyed me about the Sunderland Til I Die documentary. The exaggerated noise of the ball being kicked.



Similar to my wife’s biggest bug bear. When someone asks another to go on a date and the other says yes. They just say a day and a time, never say when or where or how they’re getting there.

Aye I know.....none of our players made good contact with the ball to make that noise!!!

 

[muggboots]

When someone knocks on a door, its always answered in 2 seconds.

When someone gives someone else an amount of money, they always pull out of their trouser pocket the exact amount in notes, and without looking at it, just hand it over

Regular cops always are made out to be think as mince by the detective. Surely they would have to be some standard of intelligent to become a copper

Think as mince indeed.

 

[Scimmy]

Wrong motorbike engine noise is mine.

Saw a film where a bloke tears off in an E-Type Jag. I swear the dubbed-in car noise was a Mini.