Getting back out and about?

Status
Not open for further replies.
ivanthereasonable said:
The wife and i were out for the first time in about 14-ish weeks last night for a curry. It was a bit difficult to relax, but we did eventually. To the extent that we have booked a table at the Restaurant just next to the curry house, for next week.

Having said that, i've just watched a video from Dr. John Campbell, and he's warning that some experts now consider this virus to be airborne. That indoors, it can travel and remain in the air much longer than previously suspected.

So, am now having to reconsider our booking.

Click to expand...

He's a massive charlatan, I wouldn't bother paying any attention to him. He's been proven wrong multiple times on his doomsday like predictions. Go on your holiday, just be sensible but try and relax and enjoy yourself. It's been a tough few months for all and some R&R time really is good for you.
DoctorMick said:
They’re suggesting it lingers in the air for a significant amount of time as opposed to being transmitted through people coughing on each other.
Click to expand...

If this was true, and we all had no innate immunity, then anyone who'd visited a supermarket anytime through lockdown it would have been a breeding ground for the virus. It's not fundamentally different to other viruses.
FootballFan said:
Stay home, save lives.
Click to expand...

Is there any evidence that lockdown directly saved anyone?

If so, could you share it?

How long do you propose we lockdown for? Another 3 months? 3 Years? Forever?

What on earth would be the point in living like that, it would be pathetic.
 
Last edited:


addicted_to_safc said:
Thank you.
It's really wouldn't make a difference, even if she regretted it (which I doubt she does) she is so stubborn she would never admit to it. I'd get nowhere. She has already blocked me on Facebook and WhatsApp so has made it obvious she doesn't want me to get in touch.



It's not very easy to explain without writing a novel but I'll try.
My friend had been over on the Friday morning and we had took my daughter out for a walk in her wheelchair, then I spoke to her on the phone on the afternoon. Everything was absolutely fine. She asked me how Megan (my daughter) was when she went home and I told her she had screamed when she realised she had gone. I had also sent her a little 20 second video of Meg screaming before I phoned her saying 'I don't think she wanted you to go home' - I never dreamed what this would lead to.
Anyway she called over the following Tuesday to return a jigsaw but I was on the phone to my son's teacher at the time so she just dropped it in and went. I thought that was really weird as she usually hangs around so I rang her when I got off the phone and she was really distant and totally unlike her normal self. She then said she wasn't going to come and see Meg for a while as she didn't want her getting upset when she went home. I tried explaining that yes sometimes she does get upset when she goes home but she doesn't always, and with her disabilities anything can upset her. And even if she does get upset she loves seeing her so much it's still worth it, she doesn't usually stay upset for long. She absolutely wouldn't listen to what I was saying and I ended up putting the phone down on her (which I later apologised for as I realise I shouldn't have). She had been her teacher at school for 6 years and had been in our life since last summer so she had seen Meg upset plenty of times and knows exactly how she reacts to things. This makes me think it was just an excuse to hide behind and she had already decided she wasn't going to come and see us anymore. For whatever reason I have no idea, but her stopping coming over cos I sent her a 20 second video of Meg crying makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.
I left it a couple of days then text her to see if I could phone but she replied with a ridiculous message saying me and her don't get on and we can't fix something that is already broken beyond repair. This was our very first argument (it was barely that, more a disagreement) since she came into our life last summer so for her to then say we don't get on was just stupid. I am so hurt by her, I thought we were friends and according to her she loved Megan more than anything yet she has just walked out of our life in an instant.
The following week she returned my key in the post and wrote on the note with it 'I will love Megan until the day I die'. I absolutely broke my heart as I loved watching them together, they adored each other, and even though she had hurt me so much I just couldn't believe they wouldn't see each other again. Then 2 days later I got a card in the post off her to Megan (who can't even read) saying she was so sorry, because of all the hurt she wouldn't be able to see her anymore and that she was absolutely heartbroken and would miss her every day. I have never cried so much in years, it was so cruel, Meg couldn't even read it and I already knew how much she loved Megan without her sending that. It just made me feel a million times worse. Anyway I sent her a text asking for the last time if there was anyway we could sort it for her and Meg, and I wouldn't stop her from seeing her even if we weren't friends anymore and she didn't even reply, so there is absolutely nothing more I can do. I miss her loads and can't believe what she has done after all the lovely times we spent together. It makes absolutely no sense. It's the first time I have had a friend fall out with me as an adult (I'm so easy to get on with I don't know even she she managed it!) and I am finding it so hard to deal with - especially as my daughter has lost her too.
There is no way to retrieve the situation, I already know that, but it does help just writing it down. It's a bit therapeutic.
(Thanks for reading if you have -sorry - I did warn you it would be a novel!)


Thanks @becs - I might take you up on that. It does help to have someone to talk to when I am just stuck in the house with my kids every day. I love them to bits but I really miss adult company, my oldest daughter moved out last summer so I don't see her as much now. She works full time but comes and stays some nights when she finishes work too late to get a bus home. I really miss her living at home though, she was a massive help to me with the 2 younger ones and was a big support to me xxx
Click to expand...
Sorry to hear it. Can't be easy for you at the best of times.

If you do wan't to vent, chat or get something off your chest in confidence my messages are always open.

I don't know you, your children or your friend, but through work I've seen loads of people re-evaluating their contact with others that they don't live with because of what's happening in the world at the moment. A large part of that for the people I've spoken to is the fear of harming someone they care for, more often than not the fear of passing the virus to them is the major factor in this process at the moment. I see similar things all the time when patients move into care homes for example. It's not uncommon for family to visit once, have a really nice loving visit for two hours that the person enjoys but the action of saying goodbye causes distress and can make that person cry. Often the result of this is that people have reservations about going back to visit because the knowledge that leaving the visit causes a short period of distress outweighs the 2 hours of happiness that they contributed to by being there. I'm not saying it's right or wrong but it's something to think about, thinking you've contributed to the distress of someone you care for can make you want to avoid doing it, to the detriment of missing out on all the good things.

Give your friend some time and space and try not to push the matter. It's better to lose a friend for a few weeks than to lose them forever.
 
  • Like
Reactions: ATS
Jap Stammer said:
Genuine question - Has it never not been airborne?

Colds and flu are coronaviruses, aren't they? The general consensus has always been that they're spread by airborne transmission. I always thought this was the same, hence the use of masks and screens etc.
Click to expand...
Im in aircon n government advice is to turn it off or lower fan speed to lessen spread of air. Fresh air should be as high as possible though even opening windows etc.
Work that one out.
 
dangermows said:
Love stopping in me.

And at the minute there's nowt really tempting a change. Don't really like shopping anyway, and that looks a chew on. And pubs aren't back to what makes them class yet.

So still basically WFH and getting out for a stroll/run really.
Click to expand...

Same here. As long as we can get out to coast and country lots, I'm pretty happy. Like working from home, and apart from the supermarket don't think I've been in a shop since March and have no desire to now - not for fear of covid-19, but just because. The only miss is gigs/live theatre/face to face groups with some stuff I do. Quite content otherwise.
 
I know two people who have died with C19.

Cancelled our foreign holidays and booked two UK holidays. Four gigs cancelled or moved and no theatre trips.

No matter what happens I'll never describe this year normal.
 
addicted_to_safc said:
Thank you.
It's really wouldn't make a difference, even if she regretted it (which I doubt she does) she is so stubborn she would never admit to it. I'd get nowhere. She has already blocked me on Facebook and WhatsApp so has made it obvious she doesn't want me to get in touch.



It's not very easy to explain without writing a novel but I'll try.
My friend had been over on the Friday morning and we had took my daughter out for a walk in her wheelchair, then I spoke to her on the phone on the afternoon. Everything was absolutely fine. She asked me how Megan (my daughter) was when she went home and I told her she had screamed when she realised she had gone. I had also sent her a little 20 second video of Meg screaming before I phoned her saying 'I don't think she wanted you to go home' - I never dreamed what this would lead to.
Anyway she called over the following Tuesday to return a jigsaw but I was on the phone to my son's teacher at the time so she just dropped it in and went. I thought that was really weird as she usually hangs around so I rang her when I got off the phone and she was really distant and totally unlike her normal self. She then said she wasn't going to come and see Meg for a while as she didn't want her getting upset when she went home. I tried explaining that yes sometimes she does get upset when she goes home but she doesn't always, and with her disabilities anything can upset her. And even if she does get upset she loves seeing her so much it's still worth it, she doesn't usually stay upset for long. She absolutely wouldn't listen to what I was saying and I ended up putting the phone down on her (which I later apologised for as I realise I shouldn't have). She had been her teacher at school for 6 years and had been in our life since last summer so she had seen Meg upset plenty of times and knows exactly how she reacts to things. This makes me think it was just an excuse to hide behind and she had already decided she wasn't going to come and see us anymore. For whatever reason I have no idea, but her stopping coming over cos I sent her a 20 second video of Meg crying makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.
I left it a couple of days then text her to see if I could phone but she replied with a ridiculous message saying me and her don't get on and we can't fix something that is already broken beyond repair. This was our very first argument (it was barely that, more a disagreement) since she came into our life last summer so for her to then say we don't get on was just stupid. I am so hurt by her, I thought we were friends and according to her she loved Megan more than anything yet she has just walked out of our life in an instant.
The following week she returned my key in the post and wrote on the note with it 'I will love Megan until the day I die'. I absolutely broke my heart as I loved watching them together, they adored each other, and even though she had hurt me so much I just couldn't believe they wouldn't see each other again. Then 2 days later I got a card in the post off her to Megan (who can't even read) saying she was so sorry, because of all the hurt she wouldn't be able to see her anymore and that she was absolutely heartbroken and would miss her every day. I have never cried so much in years, it was so cruel, Meg couldn't even read it and I already knew how much she loved Megan without her sending that. It just made me feel a million times worse. Anyway I sent her a text asking for the last time if there was anyway we could sort it for her and Meg, and I wouldn't stop her from seeing her even if we weren't friends anymore and she didn't even reply, so there is absolutely nothing more I can do. I miss her loads and can't believe what she has done after all the lovely times we spent together. It makes absolutely no sense. It's the first time I have had a friend fall out with me as an adult (I'm so easy to get on with I don't know even she she managed it!) and I am finding it so hard to deal with - especially as my daughter has lost her too.
There is no way to retrieve the situation, I already know that, but it does help just writing it down. It's a bit therapeutic.
(Thanks for reading if you have -sorry - I did warn you it would be a novel!)


Thanks @becs - I might take you up on that. It does help to have someone to talk to when I am just stuck in the house with my kids every day. I love them to bits but I really miss adult company, my oldest daughter moved out last summer so I don't see her as much now. She works full time but comes and stays some nights when she finishes work too late to get a bus home. I really miss her living at home though, she was a massive help to me with the 2 younger ones and was a big support to me xxx
Click to expand...
Sounds as though she may have been feeling that you and your daughter were too dependent on her, SEN teachers will often have a view about promoting independence that actively tries to avoid dependence. The video might have bothered her too, I know you won’t have intended it to but she may have taken it as emotional manipulation and I’ve also seen safeguarding investigations around sending images of people with disabilities so that may be a factor for someone in her profession.
Difficult though it is the reward for all of you giving it another go is probably worth the risk of trying again despite the potential upset in a few weeks.
In the meantime , I know it’s obvious but is there any support from social care, a personal assistant might be a real benefit for your daughter? Perhaps a personal budget so you can have some control over it and the support.
Hope things get better soon.
 
  • Like
Reactions: ATS
rudd said:
Sorry to hear it. Can't be easy for you at the best of times.

If you do wan't to vent, chat or get something off your chest in confidence my messages are always open.

I don't know you, your children or your friend, but through work I've seen loads of people re-evaluating their contact with others that they don't live with because of what's happening in the world at the moment. A large part of that for the people I've spoken to is the fear of harming someone they care for, more often than not the fear of passing the virus to them is the major factor in this process at the moment. I see similar things all the time when patients move into care homes for example. It's not uncommon for family to visit once, have a really nice loving visit for two hours that the person enjoys but the action of saying goodbye causes distress and can make that person cry. Often the result of this is that people have reservations about going back to visit because the knowledge that leaving the visit causes a short period of distress outweighs the 2 hours of happiness that they contributed to by being there. I'm not saying it's right or wrong but it's something to think about, thinking you've contributed to the distress of someone you care for can make you want to avoid doing it, to the detriment of missing out on all the good things.

Give your friend some time and space and try not to push the matter. It's better to lose a friend for a few weeks than to lose them forever.
Click to expand...

I absolutely get that and it had crossed my mind (along with every other possible explanation in the universe) that it could be she was worried, with her going back to work with no social distancing, she could maybe get and pass on the virus. She absolutely adored Megan so really could understand if this was it. I also know she would never want to upset her but Meg gets upset over all different things every day, she can't talk so if she is upset all she can do is scream and cry. It's just temporary and she soon settles down. I thought my friend knew her well enough to understand this.
But then on the other hand I don't get why she had to completely fall out with me to achieve any of this. I would have understood if this was the reason and she explained. I don't get why she had to say horrible things on text messages (she wouldn't even talk to me face to face or on the phone), and completely block me on Facebook and WhatsApp. She has probably also blocked my number by now but never tried texting or phoning her since she fell out with me.
It is 7 weeks today since we took my daughter for a walk, the last day we spent as friends, so I have already gave her time. I won't contact her again even though I would love her back in our life more than anything. I just can't see it ever happening.
Thank you so much for your reply, the support on here really does help me. Even just writing things down helps me process what has happened, if not why.
 
FootballFan said:
Stay home, save lives.
Click to expand...

Wrong message there mate. Got to get out and save the country. especially Monday to Wednesday in August.

I will be going to Dabbawal a few times as they are a tad too expensive for regular dining but at half price it would be rude not to.
Billericay Dichio said:
First time in non-essential shops today. Strange and a bit scary.

Tempted to try a pub next time.

Missing the gigs and theatre.
Click to expand...

Gigs :( :( :(

Im hoping some outdoor stuff can be quickly arranged
 
Tinyfooty said:
He's a massive charlatan, I wouldn't bother paying any attention to him. He's been proven wrong multiple times on his doomsday like predictions. Go on your holiday, just be sensible but try and relax and enjoy yourself. It's been a tough few months for all and some R&R time really is good for you.


If this was true, and we all had no innate immunity, then anyone who'd visited a supermarket anytime through lockdown it would have been a breeding ground for the virus. It's not fundamentally different to other viruses.


Is there any evidence that lockdown directly saved anyone?

If so, could you share it?

How long do you propose we lockdown for? Another 3 months? 3 Years? Forever?

What on earth would be the point in living like that, it would be pathetic.
Click to expand...

Idiot.
Jap Stammer said:
Genuine question - Has it never not been airborne?

Colds and flu are coronaviruses, aren't they? The general consensus has always been that they're spread by airborne transmission. I always thought this was the same, hence the use of masks and screens etc.
Click to expand...

He covers it in that video. It is now thought to be airbourne much longer than previously thought. Especially indoors.
 
Last edited:
Scorer said:
Sounds as though she may have been feeling that you and your daughter were too dependent on her, SEN teachers will often have a view about promoting independence that actively tries to avoid dependence. The video might have bothered her too, I know you won’t have intended it to but she may have taken it as emotional manipulation and I’ve also seen safeguarding investigations around sending images of people with disabilities so that may be a factor for someone in her profession.
Difficult though it is the reward for all of you giving it another go is probably worth the risk of trying again despite the potential upset in a few weeks.
In the meantime , I know it’s obvious but is there any support from social care, a personal assistant might be a real benefit for your daughter? Perhaps a personal budget so you can have some control over it and the support.
Hope things get better soon.
Click to expand...

I could kind of understand this viewpoint if Megan was still at school and she was still her teacher, but Meg left school last summer. She started coming to mine to see Megan after she left and we became really good friends. We went out places with her and had fab times, spoke on the phone loads, we were supposed to be going on a little caravan holiday with her (that she suggested and booked up for us) but it was cancelled with the pandemic. She was just like any of my other friends, I didn't even think of her as Megs teacher anymore. She had told all her family in London about Megan and 2 of her nieces were coming up for the airshow to meet her, again this was cancelled. Meg was a massive part of her life and she loved her so much. I still have no idea how she has cut her out of her life as they absolutely adored each other. She always told me Megan was her favourite student she had ever had and she would be in her life forever 😥.
When I sent her that little video of Meg in my eyes I wasn't sending it to a teacher, I was just sending it to my friend. I didn't think her being a teacher would have even been a factor considering Meg had been left her school for a year. In hindsight I wish more than anything I had never sent it.
Meg used to go to respite at Grindon Mews but I had to cancel it once she claimed Universal Credit as they were going to charge her £350 a month, she only got 18 nights a year so that worked out at 1 night a month six months of the year and 2 nights a month the other six months. I couldn't afford for her to lose that amount of money so had to cancel. This means now, as her Dad is a waste of space, I have her with me 24/7 with no break at all. It's been especially hard during this lockdown as she gets so bored and hasn't understood why she couldn't go to college or see any of our family or friends. I will look into getting her a PA, I think that might be my only option now. I had never looked into it before now as she used to have respite and my friend took us out places which obviously now no longer happens.
Thanks for your reply, I am sure things will work out even without her in our life. It will just take time.
 
The bairn is back at school now and our lass has been back in work. We've been getting down the shops more, we just got deliveries before, and we're going to go for a meal and some drinks tonight cos it's her birthday.

It does feel a bit strange the thought of getting out more. With our lass having to leave the house to work and seeing other people when she gets there I think it's a bit more normal for her, whereas I've been working in one room on my own for nigh on four month.

The main thing is seeing family and friends though. Barely seen any of them.

Probably not a better time to do it though. Sunderland and South Tyneside have reported very few new cases over the past few weeks which would suggest theres not much of it doing the rounds at the minute. Hopefully social distancing measures will help keep it that way while we get back to a bit of normality.
 
ivanthereasonable said:
Idiot.


He covers it in that video. It is now thought to be airbourne much longer than previously thought. Especially indoors.
Click to expand...
Ok.

So if that's the case, it's always been airborne longer than previously thought so there's no actual increase in the overall risk.

Or is he saying that it's just recently mutated into something that is airborne longer than it was previously? Every other mention on other threads regarding possible mutation of the virus has been immediately shouted down by people saying there's no evidence it's mutating, or if it is, it's doing it extremely slowly.
 
Far from 'normal' really. But I don't feel scared and that I need to avoid anything.

Eldest is still off school and youngest only in 2 days so working from home is still a nightmare. Would love to get back to the office but it won't be happening. My parents will milk this for as long as possible to avoid childcare too.
I'll unlikely be going to the pub. Doesn't seem like much fun. I saw a message from my local this morning that they are opening back up. They are going to take your temperature on the way in. Sorry but fuck that. Though not heard any others around Roker doing that so if I do I'll go to them.
Caravan park is back open so I was there last weekend. Statics and seasonals only - no tourers - so the park was empty. Nice and quiet but I love the buzz of a full park.

Still feels like life is just working or looking after kids. No little breakout anywhere. So I should really get a babysitter and get out with the missus. Perhaps I will go to the pub after all.
 
Jap Stammer said:
Ok.

So if that's the case, it's always been airborne longer than previously thought so there's no actual increase in the overall risk.

Or is he saying that it's just recently mutated into something that is airborne longer than it was previously? Every other mention on other threads regarding possible mutation of the virus has been immediately shouted down by people saying there's no evidence it's mutating, or if it is, it's doing it extremely slowly.
Click to expand...

There is an increase in risk. More people are going back indoors into communal areas at work. Previously, they were sitting at home.

He's not giving out opinions of his own. He's quoting and posting links to latest published research from medical journals.

Its in the video mate. Watch it or don't. I posted it, not because i think he is infallible, but because it's interesting.
 
Bob Fleming said:
Far from 'normal' really. But I don't feel scared and that I need to avoid anything.

Eldest is still off school and youngest only in 2 days so working from home is still a nightmare. Would love to get back to the office but it won't be happening. My parents will milk this for as long as possible to avoid childcare too.
I'll unlikely be going to the pub. Doesn't seem like much fun. I saw a message from my local this morning that they are opening back up. They are going to take your temperature on the way in. Sorry but fuck that. Though not heard any others around Roker doing that so if I do I'll go to them.
Caravan park is back open so I was there last weekend. Statics and seasonals only - no tourers - so the park was empty. Nice and quiet but I love the buzz of a full park.

Still feels like life is just working or looking after kids. No little breakout anywhere. So I should really get a babysitter and get out with the missus. Perhaps I will go to the pub after all.
Click to expand...
Sounds like us! Maybe a few hours out at the pub will give you a bit of a break. I've got mixed feelings about it but most of all I'm looking forward to a bit of time out the house cos it's pretty much been the centre of a very small universe for months now.

Got to say though I've got no problem with pubs taking people's temperature and details though. Surely the whole thing is only possible if it's done sensibly. I'd feel better about drinking in a place where I know they're follow the guidelines. I guess that reassurance is as much the point of it as preventing a virus spread cos a high temperature is just one possible symptom.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Back
Top