Getting back out and about?

[Billy Batts]

Personally I've never stopped. Working from home, going for walks, doing supermarket shopping as normal, been to the beach a couple of times and had a good few drives around along with socially distancing family visits.

Now in isolation until 20th as wife has surgery but prior, just tried to keep as normal as possible.

This.

 

[ErichZann]

Starting a new job 3rd Aug so have to go back to a workplace for the first time since lockdown began.

 

[becs]

I really get this bit. I am a single Mam to a 20 year old disabled daughter who has been off college since lockdown started, she won't be going back til September at the earliest. We have been stuck in the house for months already and because I don't drive and she won't go on buses (she has really bad anxiety about little kids/babies getting on and making a noise which she hates) we can't go anywhere even though things are opening. We live in Hylton Castle so there is nowhere to even take her for walks in her wheelchair unless we just walk round the streets which is really boring and we have already done so may times. My 11 year old lad has autism and finishes school next Friday, he has social anxiety and hates going out so have no chance of getting anywhere during the six weeks holidays. It's really hard being a single parent to 2 kids with disabilities at the best of times (their Dad hasn't even rang once since lockdown started to see how they are ) but it's been just awful during this pandemic.
On top of all this one of my good friends who was always a massive support fell out with me a few weeks back for the most stupid reason and now won't have anything to do with me. I tried to sort things out with her but she wouldn't even let me phone her to talk. This has affected me so bad, I was already struggling mentally with the pandemic and being stuck at home all the time but this has just sent me over the edge. I am spending every day in tears, I just can't come to terms with her being out of our life. We went out with her all over (before the pandemic) as she had her car and had a holiday booked with her which was obviously cancelled, now we are back to not being able to go anywhere again.
What makes it worse is she was my daughters teacher at her special needs school and her and my daughter adored each other. When my daughter left school last year she stayed in touch and she became a really big part of our lives. Now she is gone from our lives and my daughter no longer see's her. It breaks my heart as she loved her so much and she doesn't understand why she doesn't come to see her anymore. It's such a crap time and I can't wait til she can go back to college in September so I can actually leave the house again.

You've got so much on your plate and I really feel for you. Hope you can sort things out with your friend. If you ever want a natter or a rant, feel free to drop me a PM. Look after yourself

 

[Jap Stammer]

The opinion that we should stay home and save lives.

That horse has long bolted.

Whilst the virus is still out there, the chances of catching it are vastly lower than six weeks ago, for example, and a return to some kind of normality has to happen for the sake of peoples financial and mental well-being.

If we continue to hide away the effects of businesses collapsing, mass unemployment, and all of the hardship and social deprivation that comes with those things will far outweigh anything the virus could inflict on us.

You may be in a stage of your life where you can comfortably ride out prolonged periods of self-isolation, both financially and mentally. Many, many more will not be and need to get back on with their lives.

Next time you want people to respond properly to one of your strange posts try making it clear exactly what it is you're trying to say - a two-word soundbite just looks like you're trying to be clever and superior. Those are the kind of posts that deserve to be 'studiously ignored'.

 

[rudd]

Been steadily increasing the time and frequency outside but everything is still pretty much task orientated and quite planned; instead of going to the shops it's going to the shop to buy a particular thing then coming back, hiking and cycling have been more structured and less wander-some. No interest in pubs, gym or restaurants at the moment and unlikely to until mam has finished at least the first round of chemo as I'm going to be one of her primary carers and couldn't live with myself if I passed anything on to her, not just covid.

 

[FootballFan]

That horse has long bolted.

Whilst the virus is still out there, the chances of catching are vastly lower than six weeks ago, for example, and a return to some kind of normality has to happen for the sake of peoples financial and mental well-being.

If we continue to hide away the effects of businesses collapsing, mass unemployment, and all of the hardship and social deprivation that comes with those things will far outweigh anything the virus could inflict on us.

You may be in a stage of your life where you can comfortably ride out prolonged periods of self-isolation, both financially and mentally. Many, many more will not be and need to get back on with their lives.

Next time you want people to respond properly to one of your strange posts try making it clear exactly what it is you're trying to say - a two-word soundbite just looks like you're trying to be clever and superior. Those are the kind of posts that deserve to be 'studiously ignored'.

Lower but the virus is not yet defeated, the UK govt reaction has been lax to the point of incompetence.

If you trust them than good luck to you.

And brevity is good, so stop talking crap. My point was clear, I stand by it, you tried to be funny for some reason, didnt work.

 

[Deleted member 40035]

i was glad to get back in the charity shops like.

 

[Jap Stammer]

Lower but the virus is not yet defeated, the UK govt reaction has been lax to the point of incompetence.

If you trust them than good luck to you.

And brevity is good, so stop talking crap. My point was clear, I stand by it, you tried to be funny for some reason, didnt work.

My apologies for the brevity of the original light-hearted comment on your posting style - the humour was obviously lost on you.

I will leave you and (for me) your overly-pessimistic world-view to your own devices from now on.

 

[The King of Um]

Genuine question - Has it never not been airborne?

Colds and flu are coronaviruses, aren't they? The general consensus has always been that they're spread by airborne transmission. I always thought this was the same, hence the use of masks and screens etc.

Flu's caused by influenza viruses, which are different, and some cold viruses are coronaviruses but most aren't. But that bit of pedantry aside, I don't get the airborne thing as it's always been touted as that. Perhaps it's the difference between temporary/short exposure and lingers in the air longer.

 

[FootballFan]

My apologies for the brevity of the original light-hearted comment on your posting style - the humour was obviously lost on you.

I will leave you and (for me) your overly-pessimistic world-view to your own devices from now on.

I'm a very optimistic person, and think we'll all come out of this good. Human nature beats all.

My point stands, at this moment in time, and given the govt lack of response, it is up to individuals to take responsibility.

 

[ATS]

Really sorry to hear this. Have you considered writing your friend a letter?

Thank you.
It's really wouldn't make a difference, even if she regretted it (which I doubt she does) she is so stubborn she would never admit to it. I'd get nowhere. She has already blocked me on Facebook and WhatsApp so has made it obvious she doesn't want me to get in touch.

why dont you explain the reason for the falling out on here -- maybe the good old SMB can come up with a few suggestions on how to retrieve the situatiom ? i understand if you dont want too though.
Ps i know what you mean about nowhere to walk as well- i sometimes walk down the dene ( cut through past the castle/park ) but you are very restricted for wheelchair access around here

It's not very easy to explain without writing a novel but I'll try.
My friend had been over on the Friday morning and we had took my daughter out for a walk in her wheelchair, then I spoke to her on the phone on the afternoon. Everything was absolutely fine. She asked me how Megan (my daughter) was when she went home and I told her she had screamed when she realised she had gone. I had also sent her a little 20 second video of Meg screaming before I phoned her saying 'I don't think she wanted you to go home' - I never dreamed what this would lead to.
Anyway she called over the following Tuesday to return a jigsaw but I was on the phone to my son's teacher at the time so she just dropped it in and went. I thought that was really weird as she usually hangs around so I rang her when I got off the phone and she was really distant and totally unlike her normal self. She then said she wasn't going to come and see Meg for a while as she didn't want her getting upset when she went home. I tried explaining that yes sometimes she does get upset when she goes home but she doesn't always, and with her disabilities anything can upset her. And even if she does get upset she loves seeing her so much it's still worth it, she doesn't usually stay upset for long. She absolutely wouldn't listen to what I was saying and I ended up putting the phone down on her (which I later apologised for as I realise I shouldn't have). She had been her teacher at school for 6 years and had been in our life since last summer so she had seen Meg upset plenty of times and knows exactly how she reacts to things. This makes me think it was just an excuse to hide behind and she had already decided she wasn't going to come and see us anymore. For whatever reason I have no idea, but her stopping coming over cos I sent her a 20 second video of Meg crying makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.
I left it a couple of days then text her to see if I could phone but she replied with a ridiculous message saying me and her don't get on and we can't fix something that is already broken beyond repair. This was our very first argument (it was barely that, more a disagreement) since she came into our life last summer so for her to then say we don't get on was just stupid. I am so hurt by her, I thought we were friends and according to her she loved Megan more than anything yet she has just walked out of our life in an instant.
The following week she returned my key in the post and wrote on the note with it 'I will love Megan until the day I die'. I absolutely broke my heart as I loved watching them together, they adored each other, and even though she had hurt me so much I just couldn't believe they wouldn't see each other again. Then 2 days later I got a card in the post off her to Megan (who can't even read) saying she was so sorry, because of all the hurt she wouldn't be able to see her anymore and that she was absolutely heartbroken and would miss her every day. I have never cried so much in years, it was so cruel, Meg couldn't even read it and I already knew how much she loved Megan without her sending that. It just made me feel a million times worse. Anyway I sent her a text asking for the last time if there was anyway we could sort it for her and Meg, and I wouldn't stop her from seeing her even if we weren't friends anymore and she didn't even reply, so there is absolutely nothing more I can do. I miss her loads and can't believe what she has done after all the lovely times we spent together. It makes absolutely no sense. It's the first time I have had a friend fall out with me as an adult (I'm so easy to get on with I don't know even she she managed it!) and I am finding it so hard to deal with - especially as my daughter has lost her too.
There is no way to retrieve the situation, I already know that, but it does help just writing it down. It's a bit therapeutic.
(Thanks for reading if you have -sorry - I did warn you it would be a novel!)

You've got so much on your plate and I really feel for you. Hope you can sort things out with your friend. If you ever want a natter or a rant, feel free to drop me a PM. Look after yourself

Thanks @becs - I might take you up on that. It does help to have someone to talk to when I am just stuck in the house with my kids every day. I love them to bits but I really miss adult company, my oldest daughter moved out last summer so I don't see her as much now. She works full time but comes and stays some nights when she finishes work too late to get a bus home. I really miss her living at home though, she was a massive help to me with the 2 younger ones and was a big support to me xxx

 

[MalcolmX]

Thank you.
It's really wouldn't make a difference, even if she regretted it (which I doubt she does) she is so stubborn she would never admit to it. I'd get nowhere. She has already blocked me on Facebook and WhatsApp so has made it obvious she doesn't want me to get in touch.



It's not very easy to explain without writing a novel but I'll try.
My friend had been over on the Friday morning and we had took my daughter out for a walk in her wheelchair, then I spoke to her on the phone on the afternoon. Everything was absolutely fine. She asked me how Megan (my daughter) was when she went home and I told her she had screamed when she realised she had gone. I had also sent her a little 20 second video of Meg screaming before I phoned her saying 'I don't think she wanted you to go home' - I never dreamed what this would lead to.
Anyway she called over the following Tuesday to return a jigsaw but I was on the phone to my son's teacher at the time so she just dropped it in and went. I thought that was really weird as she usually hangs around so I rang her when I got off the phone and she was really distant and totally unlike her normal self. She then said she wasn't going to come and see Meg for a while as she didn't want her getting upset when she went home. I tried explaining that yes sometimes she does get upset when she goes home but she doesn't always, and with her disabilities anything can upset her. And even if she does get upset she loves seeing her so much it's still worth it, she doesn't usually stay upset for long. She absolutely wouldn't listen to what I was saying and I ended up putting the phone down on her (which I later apologised for as I realise I shouldn't have). She had been her teacher at school for 6 years and had been in our life since last summer so she had seen Meg upset plenty of times and knows exactly how she reacts to things. This makes me think it was just an excuse to hide behind and she had already decided she wasn't going to come and see us anymore. For whatever reason I have no idea, but her stopping coming over cos I sent her a 20 second video of Meg crying makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.
I left it a couple of days then text her to see if I could phone but she replied with a ridiculous message saying me and her don't get on and we can't fix something that is already broken beyond repair. This was our very first argument (it was barely that, more a disagreement) since she came into our life last summer so for her to then say we don't get on was just stupid. I am so hurt by her, I thought we were friends and according to her she loved Megan more than anything yet she has just walked out of our life in an instant.
The following week she returned my key in the post and wrote on the note with it 'I will love Megan until the day I die'. I absolutely broke my heart as I loved watching them together, they adored each other, and even though she had hurt me so much I just couldn't believe they wouldn't see each other again. Then 2 days later I got a card in the post off her to Megan (who can't even read) saying she was so sorry, because of all the hurt she wouldn't be able to see her anymore and that she was absolutely heartbroken and would miss her every day. I have never cried so much in years, it was so cruel, Meg couldn't even read it and I already knew how much she loved Megan without her sending that. It just made me feel a million times worse. Anyway I sent her a text asking for the last time if there was anyway we could sort it for her and Meg, and I wouldn't stop her from seeing her even if we weren't friends anymore and she didn't even reply, so there is absolutely nothing more I can do. I miss her loads and can't believe what she has done after all the lovely times we spent together. It makes absolutely no sense. It's the first time I have had a friend fall out with me as an adult (I'm so easy to get on with I don't know even she she managed it!) and I am finding it so hard to deal with - especially as my daughter has lost her too.
There is no way to retrieve the situation, I already know that, but it does help just writing it down. It's a bit therapeutic.
(Thanks for reading if you have -sorry - I did warn you it would be a novel!)


well im not sure how to reply to that. obviously 2 sides to every story etc etc
but my first thoughts are-is she married ? pressure from her husband ? do you know her husband- do you get on with him etc etc ? concerned about the virus being in your company ?
second thoughts-- influence fron a friend ?? have you had any conversations with a mutual friend? have any other friends blanked you lately ?
additional thoughts -- is she under pressure work wise/money wise/any other wise that may lead her to lash out in her frustration ??
as you can probably tell im no psycologist (i probably even spelt it wrong) but it must go deeper -- finding the deeper reason is the key but obviously not that easy--maybe talk to mutual friends?

 

[ATS]

well im not sure how to reply to that. obviously 2 sides to every story etc etc
but my first thoughts are-is she married ? pressure from her husband ? do you know her husband- do you get on with him etc etc ? concerned about the virus being in your company ?
second thoughts-- influence fron a friend ?? have you had any conversations with a mutual friend? have any other friends blanked you lately ?
additional thoughts -- is she under pressure work wise/money wise/any other wise that may lead her to lash out in her frustration ??
as you can probably tell im no psycologist (i probably even spelt it wrong) but it must go deeper -- finding the deeper reason is the key but obviously not that easy--maybe talk to mutual friends?

Thank you for reading and replying.
She is gay and single, lives alone. She has a very independent life as she has complete freedom to do exactly what she wants - the complete opposite to me. She doesn't have any kids of her own so that is probably partly why she took to Megan so much. We don't really have any mutual friends, she comes from down south but has lived up here for 20 odd years - I only got to know her as she was my daughters teacher and she stayed in Megs life once she left school.
She has more chance of getting the virus than us, we don't go anywhere and she is back at work at her special needs school where there is no social distancing with the students - there can't be with them all having disabilities. She works as a teacher full time so pretty sure she is fine money wise. Honestly, I have gone through every possible reason in my head this last 6 weeks but just can't work anything out - don't think I will ever will find out the reason to be honest. It's done now and no doubt I'll get over it in time but it's awful at the minute, it's just so sad that we have both lost her from our lives for whatever reason.

 

[MalcolmX]

Thank you for reading and replying.
She is gay and single, lives alone. She has a very independent life as she has complete freedom to do exactly what she wants - the complete opposite to me. She doesn't have any kids of her own so that is probably partly why she took to Megan so much. We don't really have any mutual friends, she comes from down south but has lived up here for 20 odd years - I only got to know her as she was my daughters teacher and she stayed in Megs life once she left school.
She has more chance of getting the virus than us, we don't go anywhere and she is back at work at her special needs school where there is no social distancing with the students - there can't be with them all having disabilities. She works as a teacher full time so pretty sure she is fine money wise. Honestly, I have gone through every possible reason in my head this last 6 weeks but just can't work anything out - don't think I will ever will find out the reason to be honest. It's done now and no doubt I'll get over it in time but it's awful at the minute, it's just so sad that we have both lost her from our lives for whatever reason.

its no problem just hoped i could have put forward a few options/solutions
Maybe try and find a mutual friend could help - i know you said you dont have one but have a think-- maybe someone ??
However it goes im sure you will get over it in time or sort everything out - hopefully sooner rather than later though

 

[becs]

Thank you for reading and replying.
She is gay and single, lives alone. She has a very independent life as she has complete freedom to do exactly what she wants - the complete opposite to me. She doesn't have any kids of her own so that is probably partly why she took to Megan so much. We don't really have any mutual friends, she comes from down south but has lived up here for 20 odd years - I only got to know her as she was my daughters teacher and she stayed in Megs life once she left school.
She has more chance of getting the virus than us, we don't go anywhere and she is back at work at her special needs school where there is no social distancing with the students - there can't be with them all having disabilities. She works as a teacher full time so pretty sure she is fine money wise. Honestly, I have gone through every possible reason in my head this last 6 weeks but just can't work anything out - don't think I will ever will find out the reason to be honest. It's done now and no doubt I'll get over it in time but it's awful at the minute, it's just so sad that we have both lost her from our lives for whatever reason.

I'm not sticking up for her as she has behaved in an odd way to cut you off for nothing. It must be hard for her at school with no social distancing and probably worrying and stressful for her. Maybe she's wound up with school stuff and unfortunately you're the one she's taken it out on. You could maybe wait until the school holidays and contact her again when she's not working and see if you can make amends then. I was just trying to think how she might be thinking and came up with that.

 

[wisemensaysteve]

I'm not doing much differently since the beginning of lockdown, only essential shopping, I don't think I would feel safe walking into shops, pubs or restaurants, I'm pleased I finished work back in Feb. I would hate having to deal with the public and feel for the poor buggers that are. I have a fortnight in Scotland coming up soon but that is self-catering and everything we need is already ordered for click and collect.

 

[Deleted member 40035]

I have a fortnight in Scotland coming up soon

Perfect

 

[dangermows]

Love stopping in me.

And at the minute there's nowt really tempting a change. Don't really like shopping anyway, and that looks a chew on. And pubs aren't back to what makes them class yet.

So still basically WFH and getting out for a stroll/run really.

 

[ATS]

I'm not sticking up for her as she has behaved in an odd way to cut you off for nothing. It must be hard for her at school with no social distancing and probably worrying and stressful for her. Maybe she's wound up with school stuff and unfortunately you're the one she's taken it out on. You could maybe wait until the school holidays and contact her again when she's not working and see if you can make amends then. I was just trying to think how she might be thinking and came up with that.

I really don’t want to contact her anymore as if she still refused to have anything to do with me it would just kill me all over again. I have already gone through so much pain I don’t think I could cope with her rejecting me again. Which with her personality and stubbornness I think she probably would.
I have no idea if it’s anything to do with school, I have no idea what has caused her to do what she has done. We spoke about her going back to school before she fell out with me and she seemed ok about it but who knows? At least I know I definitely won’t see her over the summer holidays as she spends it down south with her family so I have no chance of bumping into her xx

 

[the dark one]

Are you or still mostly isolating?

I'm starting to get out more. Me and the GF went to the pub for a meal on Monday night. We drove past a local, the door was open so I said do you fancy popping in for tea? There was only us and another couple in the dining area. Felt odd to be honest, the new normal.

I'm still furloughed and our lass in off the back end of next week so I had a look online and we've booked a hotel in the lakes for one night next Thursday. Cracking reviews, only cost £68.50 for B&B. Taking the plunge

Enjoy mate. Little by little life will return to normal.

Your username is apt, I said staying at home will save lives, its a pretty clear point, if you disagree lets have it.

If everyone stays home, the world effectively dies on its feet. Cant you see that?