Lord Potts
Striker
When I first worked in an office in 1991 there were genuine characters.
Office tart - Janet from payroll. I was a naive 19 year old she was a randy late 30s/early 40s sex wildebeeste but I totally missed the opportunity.
Office bore/nerd/virgin - believe it or not it wasn't me. I think his name was Paul and he was in his 30s but was a totally socially inept tw@t.
Office porn distributor(s) - it was a mini sideline industry. A project manager would exchange envelopes with visiting staff from our clients and after a few months the PM told me that they were porn VHS tapes. On a Friday afternoon the factory closed early so the site office staff would sometimes watch them on the security video player and take some home for the weekend.
The lad on the X-ray testing lab would bring in box loads of playboy magazines for us to borrow.
Office drunk - take yer pick we would saunter up to the local pub most dinner times, including managers, so we could stay as long as they did.
Office chain smoker - I shared a small office (no open plan then) with a QA manager and he basically smoked a pipe all day with the window usually shut. After a few months I covertly asked HR if a non smoking policy could be introduced and I still feel guilty that I didn't ask the bloke directly. He wasn't fussed though as he spent about 3 hours a day smoking his pipe outside.
I forgot about the "office drunk". Each day one lad I worked with would get gradually pissed as the day progressed and by 5 pm he could just about stand. The strange thing was no one could see how he was getting at the drink because if he was not at his desk he only left the building at lunch time.
The day came when the poor chap had to leave and things settled down for a few months until the company decided to renovate the Gent's WC . Every bit of paneling that was removed that had boxed in the cisterns and sinks revealed scores of empty extra strength larger cans that this guy had stashed out of the way. There must have been hundreds. The thing that I couldn't understand was if he managed to get the full one's in to the office without anyone noticing why the hell couldn't he get the empties out?