Workplace stereotypes

Status
Not open for further replies.
Stevie Freestein II said:
When I first worked in an office in 1991 there were genuine characters.

Office tart - Janet from payroll. I was a naive 19 year old she was a randy late 30s/early 40s sex wildebeeste but I totally missed the opportunity.

Office bore/nerd/virgin - believe it or not it wasn't me. I think his name was Paul and he was in his 30s but was a totally socially inept tw@t.

Office porn distributor(s) - it was a mini sideline industry. A project manager would exchange envelopes with visiting staff from our clients and after a few months the PM told me that they were porn VHS tapes. On a Friday afternoon the factory closed early so the site office staff would sometimes watch them on the security video player and take some home for the weekend.

The lad on the X-ray testing lab would bring in box loads of playboy magazines for us to borrow.

Office drunk - take yer pick we would saunter up to the local pub most dinner times, including managers, so we could stay as long as they did.

Office chain smoker - I shared a small office (no open plan then) with a QA manager and he basically smoked a pipe all day with the window usually shut. After a few months I covertly asked HR if a non smoking policy could be introduced and I still feel guilty that I didn't ask the bloke directly. He wasn't fussed though as he spent about 3 hours a day smoking his pipe outside.
Click to expand...

I forgot about the "office drunk". Each day one lad I worked with would get gradually pissed as the day progressed and by 5 pm he could just about stand. The strange thing was no one could see how he was getting at the drink because if he was not at his desk he only left the building at lunch time.
The day came when the poor chap had to leave and things settled down for a few months until the company decided to renovate the Gent's WC . Every bit of paneling that was removed that had boxed in the cisterns and sinks revealed scores of empty extra strength larger cans that this guy had stashed out of the way. There must have been hundreds. The thing that I couldn't understand was if he managed to get the full one's in to the office without anyone noticing why the hell couldn't he get the empties out?
 


Lord Potts said:
.... The thing that I couldn't understand was if he managed to get the full one's in to the office without anyone noticing why the hell couldn't he get the empties out?
Click to expand...

He may have kept them as trophies?

Remember when some people kept a small bottle of whiskey in the bottom drawer?

And the joke was that the office tart kept a spare pair of knickers in her desk drawers?
 
The fanny who does exactly what their lass tells him
The Mirror man who loves himself,goes to the gym and wants to knock everyone out for the smallest reason
The liar,non stop
The drama queen who works twice as hard and cares more etc etc
The On site Doctor and general life coach telling us what we're all doing wrong
 
Lord Potts said:
I retired last April but we had a bloke who was a genuine Colin Hunt. The man who considered himself to be the "office joker" - spinning bow ties the lot - always dressed as an elf at Xmas - you know the type.

I saw one lass give him a well earned bunch of fives when he grabbed her bum but despite my encouragement she would not make a formal complaint - which sadly meant that he would only continue to do it to others. The worst of it was that the CEO ( a woman with no sense of humour) thought that the bastard was a riot and good for staff moral. I am looking forward to the day when she has her arse grabbed by the idiot.
Click to expand...
;)
 
It would drive me insane putting up with anyone who I didn't like at work.I genuinely like all of the lads I work with.
 
JAZZMANB said:
The fanny who does exactly what their lass tells him
The Mirror man who loves himself,goes to the gym and wants to knock everyone out for the smallest reason
The liar,non stop
The drama queen who works twice as hard and cares more etc etc
The On site Doctor and general life coach telling us what we're all doing wrong
Click to expand...
Quite a few people go to the gym at dinner times. The office bores are 2 under exercised blokes who because they go to the gym will give advice to everyone else even if the don't want any. One of them talks endlessly about his routine that seems to change every week but doesn't listen to what anyone else is doing.

In fact a major part of modern life is that people talk without listening.
 
The work I do is solitary.Its great.I could work till i retire without actually having to mix with anyone if I didn't want to.
 
We've got an assistant who's always late, every day without fail, varies from 5mins to 30mins. Boss has gave him a few warnings but just seems to get away with it. Comes out with all manner of excuses from traffic, to helping his Mother in Law down the stairs, to not remembering if he locked the door so had to go back home to check, to having to buy his wife's train tickets at the station cause she doesn't understand the ticket machine. Also a bit of a billy bullshitter, came out with some tale about a horse interrupting a game of cricket and chasing the wicket keeper into the changing rooms and wouldn't let him out. I just stick me headphones in after i've humored him for a few minutes.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Back
Top