I don't think the "bloke from Allied Carpets" was ever named. This from memory so I may have some of the words wrong but here goes My Rose has left me I'm in a mood She went to Kenya, with the bloke from Allied Carpets We couldn't have children THAT DIDN'T STOP US FROM TRYING! She's been increasingly slapdash since she bought that new hearthrug Oh Rose how I loved you But where are you now? Alone with your salesman YOU ADULTERESS COW!!!