Stress and anxiety

New to this thread despite monitoring it over time.

Long post alert. So here goes;

Was first (unawarely) introduced to anxiety the day after I finished university some four and a half years ago. I originally thought it was just an excessive hangover from the blow out end of year party. Few chest pains and twinges on top of the compulsory nausea and bad head of a hangover. I just thought: “bloody hell, must have over done it a bit yesterday.” I remember it so well as I struggled to watch the Froch-Groves Wembley bout that night with these twinges and pains. The next day I didn’t think much of it as I started to pack up and move out and back home for another summer of work at the same place for a fifth straight summer (no new surroundings or people or jobs or anything out of the ordinary with the job). A week or two back in the job and those twinges flared up again when doing a bit manual handling as though i was skipping a beat as well. Alarms bells then started ringing and the circus of trying to find out what was wrong began before my first panic attack - Portugal v USA a Sunday night game during the Brazil World Cup. Genuinely thought that was my time up and that this must be what a heart attack was. Few trips to the doctors ranged from nothing was wrong to an inflamed rib cage before another month or two down the line I was asked by one GP if I was familiar with anxiety. By the time I was diagnosed I was having frequent panic attacks daily and within six months I was a completely different person it had gotten ahold of me that much. All stemming from subconsciously asking myself when finishing university: “what next?”

Went to CBT and one-to-one counselling sessions over the next six months and they helped. I was never back to being how I was before I finished uni but I was a little better than when it all kicked up. I ended up in a factory for 18 months. By the end of which I was getting worse again just basically questioning what am I doing with my life? What do I want to do? I’ve got a degree that’s seemingly no use (I look back now and it is pretty useless to be fair) so what do I do? So I put in to do an MA which I finished just before Christmas last year busting my arse to get a distinction. Immensely proud of myself for doing so and achieving that grade knowing the work I put into it. During that time my anxiety was manageable. I’d get the odd flare up and panic attack but I was able to manage them a bit better with techniques I’d learned from CBT and I was regularly going for reiki sessions which seemed ridiculous initially but became bloody brilliant - complete contentness for an hour where I could literally feel the tension around my chest/ heart area alleviate.

So I graduated 10 months ago and I could look back at that point and think how far have I come since this all started. I never really gave myself enough credit for how far I’d come. From battling numerous panic attacks a day to barely having any and feeling proud of myself. I’d moved to Yarm and was getting back into exercise - going for little runs around the river banks and then just doing my own little CrossFit type workouts just in the spare room. Eating well and getting complements for “looking well.”

Fast forward 10 months to now and I’m back to square one almost having spent seven hours in A&E on Saturday after near enough fainting and blacking out from a panic attack. Leaving work and I had the heart out the chest, dizziness, light headedness, numbness and tingling down my left, gaunt look, white as a sheet. It was awful. The worst experience I’ve ever had. The 111 services seemed extremely worried about a stroke. I was taken to hospital and quickly given the welcome tests of bloods and blood pressure etc. Eventually got to see the doctor who was extensively checking everthing in search of stroke or TIA symptoms. Thankfully seemed happy i hadn’t suffered either and was pretty sure I was right in suggesting it was just a mega anxiety attack.

In the 10 months since graduating I’ve once again been able to get nothing jobwise and feel like every passing day I’m getting further away from getting something to do with my MA. I then think episodes like this, would I even be able to keep a job down? (I’m just in a part time role now as a leisure assistant and only got this about a month ago). I had to take my nana to the Freeman last week for a pancreatic consultation meeting which was just awful. And while at work on Saturday I found out that we need to move house again (fourth time in two and a bit years). We (myself and the doctor) think that message at work may have been the trigger after everything else I’ve just mentioned that just set everything off for what happened on Saturday. So I spent yesterday rest and recovering moving as far as from bed to the couch and today isn’t much different. I still feel drained and groggy and light headed but if my brain/ body has convinced itself I was having stroke like/ TIA/ heart attack like symptoms then I guess it may take a couple of days recovery to get back on my feet?

I guess I just feel now I’ve found myself back four years. After every bit of therapy, every relaxing session whether it be reiki or massage or spa days or whatever, after every bit of being proud of myself and complements for how well I’ve done and was looking - it’s all just gone back to square one. No job. Not sure what I’m doing with my life again. Stuff going on at home what with my nana and having to move. I’ve been off the exercise because my knee is knackered and I’m anxious about getting that sorted as I know the only solution is an op and I’ve heard, and got friends, who’ve had so many bad stories from knee ops. The diet has gone to pot a bit so I now sometimes feel guilty if I eat “bad” foods. Just find myself back on the minefield with every step being on a bomb at the minute.

This is the first time I’ve ever opened up and done something like this in this capacity - ie to strangers (aside from a counsellor of course) so hoping it gives me a little bit of a release. I’ve fallen off the ladder completely after four years. Need to get a foot back on.
 


sadders said:
There was no choice but to seek help. Was completely incapacitated. Had to ask for a sick note if nothing else (something I’ve never had to do in 24 years of work). Signed off for a further 2 weeks. Work has been more than understanding.

Re the fluoxetine. There was a thought that some of the symptoms may be a reaction to the meds hence the change. Been advised that sertraline can take a month to work.

Have occupational health appointment tomorrow with a mental health nurse which will hopefully provide me some talking therapy quicker than the NHS 9 month wait. Quite anxious about this appointment (unsurprisingly).

Gp is also checking thyroid etc.

Feel a little brighter today. Probably because the gp appointment forced me up and out. Also walked the mile or so there and back.
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Glad you're feeling brighter, getting out the front door does help. If it helps, I've had help regularly from Community Psychiatric Nurses for years and they've all been lovely. The first session can be a bit tough because you have to go over old ground so they know what you're dealing with but the nurses I've worked with have always been incredibly supportive.
 
Reptilia said:
If you get the pure oil you put a few drops under your tongue. There's edibles/capsules as well but they aren't as effective apparently from what i've read.
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What stuff do you use?

The Underdog said:
New to this thread despite monitoring it over time.

Long post alert. So here goes;

Was first (unawarely) introduced to anxiety the day after I finished university some four and a half years ago. I originally thought it was just an excessive hangover from the blow out end of year party. Few chest pains and twinges on top of the compulsory nausea and bad head of a hangover. I just thought: “bloody hell, must have over done it a bit yesterday.” I remember it so well as I struggled to watch the Froch-Groves Wembley bout that night with these twinges and pains. The next day I didn’t think much of it as I started to pack up and move out and back home for another summer of work at the same place for a fifth straight summer (no new surroundings or people or jobs or anything out of the ordinary with the job). A week or two back in the job and those twinges flared up again when doing a bit manual handling as though i was skipping a beat as well. Alarms bells then started ringing and the circus of trying to find out what was wrong began before my first panic attack - Portugal v USA a Sunday night game during the Brazil World Cup. Genuinely thought that was my time up and that this must be what a heart attack was. Few trips to the doctors ranged from nothing was wrong to an inflamed rib cage before another month or two down the line I was asked by one GP if I was familiar with anxiety. By the time I was diagnosed I was having frequent panic attacks daily and within six months I was a completely different person it had gotten ahold of me that much. All stemming from subconsciously asking myself when finishing university: “what next?”

Went to CBT and one-to-one counselling sessions over the next six months and they helped. I was never back to being how I was before I finished uni but I was a little better than when it all kicked up. I ended up in a factory for 18 months. By the end of which I was getting worse again just basically questioning what am I doing with my life? What do I want to do? I’ve got a degree that’s seemingly no use (I look back now and it is pretty useless to be fair) so what do I do? So I put in to do an MA which I finished just before Christmas last year busting my arse to get a distinction. Immensely proud of myself for doing so and achieving that grade knowing the work I put into it. During that time my anxiety was manageable. I’d get the odd flare up and panic attack but I was able to manage them a bit better with techniques I’d learned from CBT and I was regularly going for reiki sessions which seemed ridiculous initially but became bloody brilliant - complete contentness for an hour where I could literally feel the tension around my chest/ heart area alleviate.

So I graduated 10 months ago and I could look back at that point and think how far have I come since this all started. I never really gave myself enough credit for how far I’d come. From battling numerous panic attacks a day to barely having any and feeling proud of myself. I’d moved to Yarm and was getting back into exercise - going for little runs around the river banks and then just doing my own little CrossFit type workouts just in the spare room. Eating well and getting complements for “looking well.”

Fast forward 10 months to now and I’m back to square one almost having spent seven hours in A&E on Saturday after near enough fainting and blacking out from a panic attack. Leaving work and I had the heart out the chest, dizziness, light headedness, numbness and tingling down my left, gaunt look, white as a sheet. It was awful. The worst experience I’ve ever had. The 111 services seemed extremely worried about a stroke. I was taken to hospital and quickly given the welcome tests of bloods and blood pressure etc. Eventually got to see the doctor who was extensively checking everthing in search of stroke or TIA symptoms. Thankfully seemed happy i hadn’t suffered either and was pretty sure I was right in suggesting it was just a mega anxiety attack.

In the 10 months since graduating I’ve once again been able to get nothing jobwise and feel like every passing day I’m getting further away from getting something to do with my MA. I then think episodes like this, would I even be able to keep a job down? (I’m just in a part time role now as a leisure assistant and only got this about a month ago). I had to take my nana to the Freeman last week for a pancreatic consultation meeting which was just awful. And while at work on Saturday I found out that we need to move house again (fourth time in two and a bit years). We (myself and the doctor) think that message at work may have been the trigger after everything else I’ve just mentioned that just set everything off for what happened on Saturday. So I spent yesterday rest and recovering moving as far as from bed to the couch and today isn’t much different. I still feel drained and groggy and light headed but if my brain/ body has convinced itself I was having stroke like/ TIA/ heart attack like symptoms then I guess it may take a couple of days recovery to get back on my feet?

I guess I just feel now I’ve found myself back four years. After every bit of therapy, every relaxing session whether it be reiki or massage or spa days or whatever, after every bit of being proud of myself and complements for how well I’ve done and was looking - it’s all just gone back to square one. No job. Not sure what I’m doing with my life again. Stuff going on at home what with my nana and having to move. I’ve been off the exercise because my knee is knackered and I’m anxious about getting that sorted as I know the only solution is an op and I’ve heard, and got friends, who’ve had so many bad stories from knee ops. The diet has gone to pot a bit so I now sometimes feel guilty if I eat “bad” foods. Just find myself back on the minefield with every step being on a bomb at the minute.

This is the first time I’ve ever opened up and done something like this in this capacity - ie to strangers (aside from a counsellor of course) so hoping it gives me a little bit of a release. I’ve fallen off the ladder completely after four years. Need to get a foot back on.
Click to expand...
Good on you sharing man, you've taken the first step. Plenty people here to chat with.
 
@The Underdog

Sounds pretty similar to me my dude, buggered knee included, let me briefly share my experience.. If anything it'll maybe give you some hope that you can come through the other side and you can get a handle on it. It can be done, it's a battle at times but you can do it.

I started getting the 'pangs' little chest flutters, heart palpitations, tingles in my arms when i was about 24/25, think there were a few factors to this... I was drinking pretty heavily, not looking after myself very well, was in bad relationship, was absolutely hammering the weed everyday... It hit the panic attack stage once, on a really big hangover went out with my missus and kept thinking i was gunna pass out (the more people in the pub, the pub being hot, the hangover..) So i managed to battle through and got her to pay and sat outside, had to pull over on the drive home, thought it was the ol' heart attack, since my arms were numb and i could hardly turn the wheel i had that little strength in my arms/hands. So that was the first kinda scary wtf? moment I went through.

Continued on for 6 months, going to work full time (shipyard) - only think i got sent home once, but felt constantly on edge all day, like verging on a panic attack breakdown, struggling to get my words out at times, just trying to focus on breathing (in for 5, hold for 2/3 out for 5 - works wonders for me). So aye, didn't get any help, just tried to deal with it by myself. My mam's a nurse like so got the proper advice - I was still smoking weed at this point and i was drinking in the house before i went out, cause i realised if i had 4 cans and a few shots then i'd be fine to socialise as normal... Then i tore my knee ligaments playing footy, this is when it got really bad. I was doing night classes at college, lost my job (company went into admin), was pretty much living pay check to pay check.... Was fucked, couldn't pay me rent, all my mates were stoners so would come round and get me baked and play PS3... full leg brace crutches, lived in a first floor flat. Job shop patronised me, got escorted off the premises for getting angry at them. Canny shit time, probably around 2012.

This all culminated into my housemate basically ringing my mam cause he was that worried about me, after the 6/7th panic attack, and I ended up going to see the doc and he told me everything we already kinda knew, its bad anxiety, you need to learn how to manage it, it's not easy it'll take awhile but it's do able.

So aye, leg slowly got better, got another job building aircraft carriers, knocked the weed on the head, cut my drinking down, started going out for a walk everyday before breakfast. But generally i didn't do a huge amount, i just cut down and tried to be healthier. Slowly i noticed it started going away, there were times where i'd forget i had it. But then i'd push the boundaries too far, i'd go out, get wrecked have a few lines, smoke some weed, and then wake up with the heart palps and have to just concentrate on breathing properly to stop from passing out. - I can't really put a finger on the day where it 'got better' cause it's never gone away, i can just manage it.

I've had the odd flare up over the past 4 years, but when i feel it coming on i just take my self for a brisk walk, do something to get rid of that excess adrenaline. Honestly i don't really exercise that much, i play drums in a band and i get nervous as fuck going on stage. But once i've nailed the first song it seems to pass. I still go out for a drink with the lads but just a drink, stop away from the narcotics, if i've got a bad hangover i'll likely not wanna go to a busy restaurant, (always feel a bit claustrophobic in them anyways, hangovers just make the anxiety worse) i'll probably go out and do some form of exercise or just chill out. I train people at work, i've got quite a high pressure job at times, which does get to me when we're busy and if my boss is away leaving me in charge, but if i knock the caffeine on the head and drink plenty water i never seem to get much bother from my anxiety, sometimes i listen to chill out music and just crack on. Been on and off the tabs for the past few years and had some canny bouts of anxiety in the first few weeks of going cold turkey.

Never think you've learned nothing - you had your coping mechanisms before, your exercise was working. It's just the same as me listening to music or going for a walk. Try swimming, a lot less impact on your knee and it'll give you that release that you might be missing now due to your knee. Never let it get the better of you dude, i'm away down country to train people tomorrow on a train at 6:15am and believe me the first thing i want to do when i get to the office is have a coffee, but i know the caffeine and the unfamiliar environment might be a combination for trouble, so i'll not be bothering until i've done the training and can relax a bit.

I've waffled on a bit here like but i hope some of the things might resonate, always happy to have a PM if there's anything i can do to help. - Never admit defeat mon frere.
 
Biscuitz said:
I have been thinking recently about going to the docs about anxiety medication. i am generally not a fan of medication for things as I find there is often a natural way of easing things and I am a fan of nature.

I have anxiety everyday, always have had and always will do. It's just part of my mental health. I do work out hard every day, I don't drink alcohol and I get to bed early (not that I am a good sleeper) as I know these things help me but anxiety is always there as there are daily situations that I find somewhat difficult.

anyone ever tried medication for this?
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It’s always worth a try. Dunno if you have ever done CBT or talking therapy but they will probably give you numbers to call to arrange some sessions as well as whatever meds.

I struggled with what I now think was anxiety for probably 20 years before going to a GP. On Sertraline now - have been since April only 50mg but it takes the edge off.
 
The Archer said:
It’s always worth a try. Dunno if you have ever done CBT or talking therapy but they will probably give you numbers to call to arrange some sessions as well as whatever meds.

I struggled with what I now think was anxiety for probably 20 years before going to a GP. On Sertraline now - have been since April only 50mg but it takes the edge off.
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I take this, same dose. Do you feel more like yourself now?
 
South Hylton said:
I take this, same dose. Do you feel more like yourself now?
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I think it has helped though it took a while and I was worse for a couple of weeks. The only downside is I have IBS - and coping with that was a big part of my anxiety- and the tablets seem to affect that so it’s a double edged sword.
 
The Archer said:
It’s always worth a try. Dunno if you have ever done CBT or talking therapy but they will probably give you numbers to call to arrange some sessions as well as whatever meds.

I struggled with what I now think was anxiety for probably 20 years before going to a GP. On Sertraline now - have been since April only 50mg but it takes the edge off.
Click to expand...

ssri addiction is tougher than nicotene- was real tough coming off meds in my 30s- for many reasons
 
The Archer said:
How long were you on them for? I’m bad enough trying to give up nicotine :(
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on and off 15 years. I believed my only success came as I was on this medication which acted as a catalyst. In fact SSRI only work short term and they alter your personality. You overcompensate daily, not listening to people, craving beer, terrible hangovers, increased anxiety, weird dreams, unpredictable libido, twitches in your face, all kinds of shit they dont' tell you about.
 
Well...

Just had a woman round from Capita, who do the home visit interviews for the DWP for Personal Independence Payments.

I've got to say, compared with the ESA Work Capability Assessment it was like chalk and cheese.

The PIP woman was calm, gently-spoken, waited to hear my answers in full before moving on, and seemed like she'd actually researched my conditions before arriving, whereas the ESA WCA interview (that I had to travel 20 miles to get to despite the fact I don't ever leave the house unaccompanied) seemed to be designed to trip you up and they didn't really seem to want to know my answers: they would start asking the next question before letting me finish answering the previous one and they didn't have a f***ing clue about any of my conditions and ended up declaring that I'm fit for work when clearly I'm not because I can't even leave the bastard house.

I'm still shaking after having to deal with being interviewed for 45 minutes but I feel so much better about it than I did about the ESA WCA.

Now I just have to wait 6 weeks to find out if they're going to award me any PIP money. Hopefully I won't be homeless by then.
 
fyl2u said:
Well...

Just had a woman round from Capita, who do the home visit interviews for the DWP for Personal Independence Payments.

I've got to say, compared with the ESA Work Capability Assessment it was like chalk and cheese.

The PIP woman was calm, gently-spoken, waited to hear my answers in full before moving on, and seemed like she'd actually researched my conditions before arriving, whereas the ESA WCA interview (that I had to travel 20 miles to get to despite the fact I don't ever leave the house unaccompanied) seemed to be designed to trip you up and they didn't really seem to want to know my answers: they would start asking the next question before letting me finish answering the previous one and they didn't have a f***ing clue about any of my conditions and ended up declaring that I'm fit for work when clearly I'm not because I can't even leave the bastard house.

I'm still shaking after having to deal with being interviewed for 45 minutes but I feel so much better about it than I did about the ESA WCA.

Now I just have to wait 6 weeks to find out if they're going to award me any PIP money. Hopefully I won't be homeless by then.
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All the best Fyl. Bit at a time and hope it works out for you.

Idlewild Mackem said:
Let me know when you choose one, was thinking about getting some as a sleep aid and not sure where to start.
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I get green capsules, top concentration, from CBD brothers. They work really well, better than most of the prescribed stuff I get and there's a lot of that.
 

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