Pun jokes

[Mozza]

I started a forum for conjunctivitis sufferers. It's a site for sore eyes.

That wouldn’t be www.lingscars.com by any chance?

 

[TopCat]

Why don't Hedgehogs just share the hedge?

 

[heston]

Did you hear about the Indian who couldn't stop making witty quips? He had to have a pun jab.

 

[maygo]

I noticed a restaurant offering "Oasis Soup" on the menu, so I asked the waiter about it.
"You get a roll with it" he said

 

[thamesvalleyman]

Any good cricketing puns?, i'm stumped.

Over and out

 

[mysticmackem]

I was standing on a beach wondering why a frisby seems to get larger, the closer it gets to you... Then it hit me

 

[Mr Redknapp]

surely reached silly point by now

Maybe you can rescue this thread from the Ashes.

 

[RossTheNinja]

Watched this kitten dvd specialising on their feet the other week but it was stuck. Turns out it was on paws

 

[Iballistic George]

You'd think my wife would be happy id bought a didgeridoo but nooooooowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowo

 

[What A Waster]

I sent 10 entries to a pun competition to see one of my efforts would win me the top prize, but no pun in ten did.

 

[willin']

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

Put it in a microwave until it's bill withers.


Mam there's a man at the door with a Bill.

Don't be silly dear it's probably a duck with a hat on.

 

[General Zod]

I sent 10 entries to a pun competition to see one of my efforts would win me the top prize, but no pun in ten did.

All entries featured in a stage show I saw recently - it was a fantastic play on words

 

[Iballistic George]

At school the other kids used to push me and call me lazy


Used to love that wheelchair

 

[the boot]

Maybe you can rescue this thread from the Ashes.

You've crossed the boundary now mate

 

[Mr Redknapp]

You've crossed the boundary now mate

did it drive you to a drinks break?

 

[123SunTan]

does a subatomic duck say quark?

Charm(ing)

 

[the boot]

did it drive you to a drinks break?

I needed a break anyway. I have the runs.

 

[RedHouseMackem]

You've crossed the boundary now mate

did it drive you to a drinks break?

I needed a break anyway. I have the runs.

Maybe its time for a Declaration?

Are you both Bowled over by this or have i got you both Stumped?

If Yes then can i Bale you out and call it Over.

 

[123SunTan]

Abundance of cricket puns in this thread
= a wicket sense of humour

 

[Snugster]

In case anybody missed it @Space Hopper cracked a corker yesterday which was basically this. I claim no credit.

What do you call a LBGTQ whale?

Maybe Dick.

Who circumcised Moby's Dick?
Four skin divers.