Pun jokes

Discussion in 'SMB' started by Fatfield Mackem, Jan 16, 2018.

  1. Fatfield Mackem

    Fatfield Mackem Goalkeeper

    Heard a couple of 'good' ones the past week:
    • Just joined a band called 999 Megabytes. It's going well but we haven't got a gig yet.
    • Haven't been well the past two days. Felt like a wigwam yesterday and a tipi today. Doctor reckons I'm two tents.
    Anyone got any corkers out there?
     
  2. Steesafc

    Steesafc Striker

    Well, these are just great.
     
  3. dcl0sc

    dcl0sc Striker

    Bumming makes you deaf!
     
  4. What did the boy nut say to the girl nut

    I'm gonna cashew
     
  5. JAZZMANB

    JAZZMANB Striker

    Kept seeing Mickey mouse and donald duck at the bottom of my bed when waking up
    Doctor says its Disney spells

    Thinking about selling all my John lennon collectables on ebay
    imagine all the Paypal
     
  6. mux

    mux Striker Contributor

    Eh?
     
    wigwams and Fatfield Mackem like this.
  7. MackemBob

    MackemBob Winger

    Leave it, Geoff.
     
    mux and dcl0sc like this.
  8. dcl0sc

    dcl0sc Striker

    Whey Hey.... ba dum tsh! it's the way I tell em!
     
  9. becs

    becs Striker Contributor

    does a subatomic duck say quark?
     
    MacRowners, 123SunTan and yorkyexile like this.
  10. two tomatos walking along the road whne one gets left behind and is squashed..

    the other turns round and say.. "come on ketchup"
     
    TopCat likes this.
  11. JAZZMANB

    JAZZMANB Striker

    Delhi decided to host its own marathon
    6 million applied
    they decided to make it just men ,still 3.2 million!
    then they thought men with only 1 testicle ,they had 120,000 new applications
    In the end they decided men with no testicles
    The Indian knackerless 500 is this weekend
     
    123SunTan, b1gals, nahwee and 11 others like this.
  12. ywcmackem

    ywcmackem Midfield

    Band I play in did a gig on Saturday in aid of the premature ejaculation society. There was no one there as they all came on Friday.
     
    Jukebox and mux like this.
  13. ErichZann

    ErichZann Winger

    Did you hear about the wooden car?
    Wooden gan.
     
    Wizards Sleeve likes this.
  14. No7

    No7 Midfield

    Tea is for mugs
     
  15. mux

    mux Striker Contributor

    Two monkeys sitting in the bath.

    One shouts "OOO EE AAH AAH AAH AAH AAH"

    The other says "well put some cold in then"
     
  16. Ludwig

    Ludwig Midfield Contributor

    WHAT ?
     
    dcl0sc likes this.
  17. mux

    mux Striker Contributor

    What do you call a Newcastle kangaroo stuck in a lift?

    Kangaroot
     
    rokerexile, Effrafax, 007Iron and 2 others like this.
  18. waddy999

    waddy999 Winger

    :rolleyes: Bad puns....that's how eye roll.
     
    Scimmy likes this.
  19. mux

    mux Striker Contributor

    Seb hun xxx
     
  20. Ludwig

    Ludwig Midfield Contributor

    Just noticed :oops: , yooooo hooooo anyway !
     
    mux likes this.

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