Pun jokes

[Fatfield Mackem]

Heard a couple of 'good' ones the past week:

• Just joined a band called 999 Megabytes. It's going well but we haven't got a gig yet.
• Haven't been well the past two days. Felt like a wigwam yesterday and a tipi today. Doctor reckons I'm two tents.

Anyone got any corkers out there?

 

[Steesafc]

Well, these are just great.

 

[dcl0sc]

Bumming makes you deaf!

 

[FishburnMackem]

What did the boy nut say to the girl nut

I'm gonna cashew

 

[JAZZMANB]

Kept seeing Mickey mouse and donald duck at the bottom of my bed when waking up
Doctor says its Disney spells

Thinking about selling all my John lennon collectables on ebay
imagine all the Paypal

 

[mux]

Bumming makes you deaf!

Eh?

 

[MackemBob]

Eh?

Leave it, Geoff.

 

[dcl0sc]

Eh?

Whey Hey.... ba dum tsh! it's the way I tell em!

 

[becs]

does a subatomic duck say quark?

 

[Epping]

two tomatos walking along the road whne one gets left behind and is squashed..

the other turns round and say.. "come on ketchup"

 

[JAZZMANB]

Delhi decided to host its own marathon
6 million applied
they decided to make it just men ,still 3.2 million!
then they thought men with only 1 testicle ,they had 120,000 new applications
In the end they decided men with no testicles
The Indian knackerless 500 is this weekend

 

[ywcmackem]

Band I play in did a gig on Saturday in aid of the premature ejaculation society. There was no one there as they all came on Friday.

 

[ErichZann]

Did you hear about the wooden car?
Wooden gan.

 

[No7]

Tea is for mugs

 

[mux]

Two monkeys sitting in the bath.

One shouts "OOO EE AAH AAH AAH AAH AAH"

The other says "well put some cold in then"

 

[Ludwig]

Bumming makes you deaf!

WHAT ?

 

[mux]

What do you call a Newcastle kangaroo stuck in a lift?

Kangaroot

 

[waddy999]

Bad puns....that's how eye roll.

 

[mux]

WHAT ?

Seb hun xxx

 

[Ludwig]

Seb hun xxx

Just noticed , yooooo hooooo anyway !