Depression

yamar1

Striker
I can vouch for the changing jobs doing a world of difference for your depression.

I worked in Sunderland for an insurance company and the work, the environment and just everything worsened my depression to probably its worse ever (compounded with other factors). One night on my way home from work, having missed the bus I was walking towards the QA Bridge when I decided enough was enough and that I was going to jump. I think I would have gone through with it had it not been for the Samaritans sign on the bridge, so rather than jumping I called them and spoke with them for about half an hour.. They were fantastic. During that call I realised I needed to make some major changes, and so I called work the next day and said I wouldn't be back for the rest of the week and went out on the sick. During that time I interviewed for another job that I got and it changed everything for me (combined with getting rid of some of the negative things in my life).

It sounds like a little change, but being in a toxic work environment can be one of the most harmful things in your life. If you can, find something new, whether it is a new employer or new career. It might just help you see the bigger picture.

Good Luck mate...
an excellent post mate, glad your doing well and looking up. all the best for the future.
 
one of the biggest fears i had was during panic attacks.. terriffied i was going to die.. and you do think you are going to die.. anybody reading this just say to yourself get on with it.. kill me.. i guarantee you wont die.. takes a lot of bottle took me years.. but you wont die.. panic attacks dont kill people..
 
I went on holiday to the football last week in Portugal. The person I went with told me Counselling is a bloody waste of time. Ruined the holiday. Told my counsellor today - he said to just keep to my own thoughts about it. I do feel better after my sessions.
 
one of the biggest fears i had was during panic attacks.. terriffied i was going to die.. and you do think you are going to die.. anybody reading this just say to yourself get on with it.. kill me.. i guarantee you wont die.. takes a lot of bottle took me years.. but you wont die.. panic attacks dont kill people..
It wasn't a fear of dying, it was a fear of making a fool of myself through illness with me.

Once at secondary school, I was genuinely ill with a flu like bug but my Mam had sent me in anyway. I was in chemistry and went really hot. I passed out but because I was sitting on a stool at a bench, I made an almighty clatter as I fell off the stool and knocked some glassware off when I fell.

After that, the panic attack would come on in public and I'd be convinced I was going to pass out and make a fool of myself again. Sometimes it turned into fear of vomiting in public or shitting myself. I got that I avoided sitting in the middle or rows or tables or anywhere where I felt "trapped". I'd always plan my escape route and run through it in my head. If I went somewhere new, the first thing I'd do is work out where the toilets are so I can just leave if I need to.

I've managed to control them now and I'm usually fine, even in new places I go but it took years to get it under control.

I went on holiday to the football last week in Portugal. The person I went with told me Counselling is a bloody waste of time. Ruined the holiday. Told my counsellor today - he said to just keep to my own thoughts about it. I do feel better after my sessions.
It's like a marmite thing and people either love it or hate it! If it's helping you and you feel happy after the sessions, keep doing it and ignore what the person said.
 
It wasn't a fear of dying, it was a fear of making a fool of myself through illness with me.

Once at secondary school, I was genuinely ill with a flu like bug but my Mam had sent me in anyway. I was in chemistry and went really hot. I passed out but because I was sitting on a stool at a bench, I made an almighty clatter as I fell off the stool and knocked some glassware off when I fell.

After that, the panic attack would come on in public and I'd be convinced I was going to pass out and make a fool of myself again. Sometimes it turned into fear of vomiting in public or shitting myself. I got that I avoided sitting in the middle or rows or tables or anywhere where I felt "trapped". I'd always plan my escape route and run through it in my head. If I went somewhere new, the first thing I'd do is work out where the toilets are so I can just leave if I need to.

I've managed to control them now and I'm usually fine, even in new places I go but it took years to get it under control.



It's like a marmite thing and people either love it or hate it! If it's helping you and you feel happy after the sessions, keep doing it and ignore what the person said.
once you realise you are in control and a lot of courage you can live with it.. takes massive bottle to accept you have a problem.. well done..
 

Bad_mother

Striker
If anyone on here is into books I can recommend Matt Haig's "Reasons to stay alive" and "Notes on a nervous planet"

Currently taking part in 100 Happy Days where you're encouraged to find one happy thing in each day and record it... You can share it on social media if you wish, or just write it in a diary. Just whatever you want to make it
 
If anyone on here is into books I can recommend Matt Haig's "Reasons to stay alive" and "Notes on a nervous planet"

Currently taking part in 100 Happy Days where you're encouraged to find one happy thing in each day and record it... You can share it on social media if you wish, or just write it in a diary. Just whatever you want to make it
I found a lot of value in Paul McKenna's "I Can Make You Happy" when I went through my longest depression (in 2012), despite going in very sceptical.
 

Fawkes

Reserve Squad
Struggling massively at the moment. Quite a few factors involved, however its loneliness that's the biggest problem. Outside of work, I barely have any interaction with anyone in person. I talk to my parents pretty much daily on the phone, as well as mates back home on WhatsApp etc. but my entire support network is about 150 miles away.

Moved away from the North East nearly a year ago for work but I'm struggling to settle. I don't want to give up and move back because I know I'll end up bouncing between the same kinds of jobs I had been doing for the past few years, which was one of the main reasons I moved away to begin with. Live alone currently, still tied in to where I'm at for a few months as well so I can't look into doing a house/flat share with other people just yet. I'm not the most outgoing person either, find it difficult to push myself to attend any new groups etc. I had signed up for dating apps but they were a complete waste of time. Impossible to actually get a conversation out of people on them and it didn't really help my low self-confidence.

Every day feels like the same lonely routine, which is making it more and more difficult to get to sleep on a night due to overthinking. A lot of the thoughts are darker than I'd care to admit. Lying in bed writing this post at 3 in the morning to try and keep my mind occupied.

Not on any medication currently, I had been taking Sertraline but I brought myself off them at the start of the year. I have however arranged an appointment with the GP to talk about medication again. I did attend about 4 sessions of CBT but didn't really find it useful, thought someone else who was still on the waiting list behind me might as well try and benefit from it instead.
 

the boot

Midfield
Struggling massively at the moment. Quite a few factors involved, however its loneliness that's the biggest problem. Outside of work, I barely have any interaction with anyone in person. I talk to my parents pretty much daily on the phone, as well as mates back home on WhatsApp etc. but my entire support network is about 150 miles away.

Moved away from the North East nearly a year ago for work but I'm struggling to settle. I don't want to give up and move back because I know I'll end up bouncing between the same kinds of jobs I had been doing for the past few years, which was one of the main reasons I moved away to begin with. Live alone currently, still tied in to where I'm at for a few months as well so I can't look into doing a house/flat share with other people just yet. I'm not the most outgoing person either, find it difficult to push myself to attend any new groups etc. I had signed up for dating apps but they were a complete waste of time. Impossible to actually get a conversation out of people on them and it didn't really help my low self-confidence.

Every day feels like the same lonely routine, which is making it more and more difficult to get to sleep on a night due to overthinking. A lot of the thoughts are darker than I'd care to admit. Lying in bed writing this post at 3 in the morning to try and keep my mind occupied.

Not on any medication currently, I had been taking Sertraline but I brought myself off them at the start of the year. I have however arranged an appointment with the GP to talk about medication again. I did attend about 4 sessions of CBT but didn't really find it useful, thought someone else who was still on the waiting list behind me might as well try and benefit from it instead.
Don’t try and rush it mate, get comfortable with yourself, I read on here a lot about people in the same situation as you and they all have a running theme, you want this you want that you want to feel different. But if you think about it, that’s what is getting you down you need to understand that moving away is gonna be lonely pal, even for outward people. For me it’s about finding and doing things that fit in around your current state of mind. Get a routine, walks, cinema, quiet drinks (moderation) stuff that you can do on your own.
If someone 20st thought right I’m gonna lose wieght!! They not gonna run a marathon everyday are they? The body would not let them, it’s the same with the mind, you are not all of a sudden gonna walk in a boozer shouting ya mouth off and sticking the lips on some bird!!! you have got to graft at it mate. And this is not me saying just get on with it mind. I’m just saying get yourself into a routine. Things to look forward too, and let the outlandish and outgoing people talk to you. The gym for instance, go in at the same time everyday and I guarantee within a fortnight the chat will start because people will come familiar.
i always say this but poker is a good way in. Look for a poker night at a pub. It’s something you do on your own and instantly meet and interact. Be honest and say your new to the area and looking for a game before you know it’s regular.
My daughter is 16 and she said last night she wants a job while at college, so I said doing what?
Don’t know
Where?
Don’t know
When?
Don’t know
So I’m trying to explain to her that she needs to go through the process of working this out instead of looking at the end product of having a job.

And its the same advice I give to you my friend, work out what you could manage mental health wise regarding socialising and build from there. But remember it’s got to be routine and familiar.
If you keep changing the route you will always be a stranger to everyone.
Good luck.
 
Struggling massively at the moment. Quite a few factors involved, however its loneliness that's the biggest problem. Outside of work, I barely have any interaction with anyone in person. I talk to my parents pretty much daily on the phone, as well as mates back home on WhatsApp etc. but my entire support network is about 150 miles away.

Moved away from the North East nearly a year ago for work but I'm struggling to settle. I don't want to give up and move back because I know I'll end up bouncing between the same kinds of jobs I had been doing for the past few years, which was one of the main reasons I moved away to begin with. Live alone currently, still tied in to where I'm at for a few months as well so I can't look into doing a house/flat share with other people just yet. I'm not the most outgoing person either, find it difficult to push myself to attend any new groups etc. I had signed up for dating apps but they were a complete waste of time. Impossible to actually get a conversation out of people on them and it didn't really help my low self-confidence.

Every day feels like the same lonely routine, which is making it more and more difficult to get to sleep on a night due to overthinking. A lot of the thoughts are darker than I'd care to admit. Lying in bed writing this post at 3 in the morning to try and keep my mind occupied.

Not on any medication currently, I had been taking Sertraline but I brought myself off them at the start of the year. I have however arranged an appointment with the GP to talk about medication again. I did attend about 4 sessions of CBT but didn't really find it useful, thought someone else who was still on the waiting list behind me might as well try and benefit from it instead.
Second the gym idea, or other sports like cross fit, park run etc. Once you go a few times and be a familiar face, you'll start making friends.

Have a look at your local community centre/church hall/school etc. See if they run any groups that you might be interested in.

What about night classes? If you've always had the desire to learn something, now could be your chance.

Have a look on here and see if anything takes your fancy:
We are what we do

Have a look at volunteering options. That would help you and someone else.

Try local Facebook groups for ideas too. People advertise groups, needing football players and stuff like that in our local one.

Best of luck marra xx
 
I went on holiday to the football last week in Portugal. The person I went with told me Counselling is a bloody waste of time. Ruined the holiday. Told my counsellor today - he said to just keep to my own thoughts about it. I do feel better after my sessions.
I can personally vouch for that statement being a load of rubbish. Stick with the counselling; maybe that person has had it and didn't find it helpful, it does happen, maybe they haven't had it and offered an unfounded opinion. Ultimately if you find it helpful then what does it matter what they think?

It wasn't a fear of dying, it was a fear of making a fool of myself through illness with me.

Once at secondary school, I was genuinely ill with a flu like bug but my Mam had sent me in anyway. I was in chemistry and went really hot. I passed out but because I was sitting on a stool at a bench, I made an almighty clatter as I fell off the stool and knocked some glassware off when I fell.

After that, the panic attack would come on in public and I'd be convinced I was going to pass out and make a fool of myself again. Sometimes it turned into fear of vomiting in public or shitting myself. I got that I avoided sitting in the middle or rows or tables or anywhere where I felt "trapped". I'd always plan my escape route and run through it in my head. If I went somewhere new, the first thing I'd do is work out where the toilets are so I can just leave if I need to.

I've managed to control them now and I'm usually fine, even in new places I go but it took years to get it under control.



It's like a marmite thing and people either love it or hate it! If it's helping you and you feel happy after the sessions, keep doing it and ignore what the person said.
I had / have exactly the same thing. It all started after a dose of norovirus in Paris and I've had mysophobia to one extent or another ever since. Luckily it's nowhere near as bad now, a lot of it seemed to be linked to constant non-acid reflux and once I had my fundoplication it pretty much disappeared.

Still crops up every winter when norovirus is out and about more prominently.
 
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I can personally vouch for that statement being a load of rubbish. Stick with the counselling; maybe that person has had it and didn't find it helpful, it does happen, maybe they haven't had it and offered an unfounded opinion. Ultimately if you find it helpful then what does it matter what they think?



I had / have exactly the same thing. It all started after a dose of norovirus in Paris and I've had mysophobia to one extent or another ever since. Luckily it's nowhere near as bad now, a lot of it seemed to be linked to constant non-acid reflux and once I had my fundoplication it pretty much disappeared.

Still crops up every winter when norovirus is out and about more prominently.
Yes you are right - LondonBlackCat. It is good not to feel alone. This thread is so supportive.
 

Bad_mother

Striker
Fucking fed up me
Anything in particular ? Or just generally ?

Struggling massively at the moment. Quite a few factors involved, however its loneliness that's the biggest problem. Outside of work, I barely have any interaction with anyone in person. I talk to my parents pretty much daily on the phone, as well as mates back home on WhatsApp etc. but my entire support network is about 150 miles away.

Moved away from the North East nearly a year ago for work but I'm struggling to settle. I don't want to give up and move back because I know I'll end up bouncing between the same kinds of jobs I had been doing for the past few years, which was one of the main reasons I moved away to begin with. Live alone currently, still tied in to where I'm at for a few months as well so I can't look into doing a house/flat share with other people just yet. I'm not the most outgoing person either, find it difficult to push myself to attend any new groups etc. I had signed up for dating apps but they were a complete waste of time. Impossible to actually get a conversation out of people on them and it didn't really help my low self-confidence.

Every day feels like the same lonely routine, which is making it more and more difficult to get to sleep on a night due to overthinking. A lot of the thoughts are darker than I'd care to admit. Lying in bed writing this post at 3 in the morning to try and keep my mind occupied.

Not on any medication currently, I had been taking Sertraline but I brought myself off them at the start of the year. I have however arranged an appointment with the GP to talk about medication again. I did attend about 4 sessions of CBT but didn't really find it useful, thought someone else who was still on the waiting list behind me might as well try and benefit from it instead.
Ginger John and The Boot are spot on
Looking for something that's maybe a group activity so you're focusing on the activity while meeting other people... Takes the pressure off forced conversation

I found Parkrun good, made some fabulous mates... You can walk it too... Loads of people do.
 
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chopsfc007

Striker
Anything in particular ? Or just generally ?


Ginger John and The Boot are spot on
Looking for something that's maybe a group activity so you're focusing on the activity while meeting other people... Takes the pressure off forced conversation

I found Parkrun good, made some fabulous mates... You can walk it too... Loads of people do.
Both I'm on holiday but can't walk far without pain or eat anything without pain even ice cream
 

Goat Eyes

Striker
Struggling massively at the moment. Quite a few factors involved, however its loneliness that's the biggest problem. Outside of work, I barely have any interaction with anyone in person. I talk to my parents pretty much daily on the phone, as well as mates back home on WhatsApp etc. but my entire support network is about 150 miles away.

Moved away from the North East nearly a year ago for work but I'm struggling to settle. I don't want to give up and move back because I know I'll end up bouncing between the same kinds of jobs I had been doing for the past few years, which was one of the main reasons I moved away to begin with. Live alone currently, still tied in to where I'm at for a few months as well so I can't look into doing a house/flat share with other people just yet. I'm not the most outgoing person either, find it difficult to push myself to attend any new groups etc. I had signed up for dating apps but they were a complete waste of time. Impossible to actually get a conversation out of people on them and it didn't really help my low self-confidence.

Every day feels like the same lonely routine, which is making it more and more difficult to get to sleep on a night due to overthinking. A lot of the thoughts are darker than I'd care to admit. Lying in bed writing this post at 3 in the morning to try and keep my mind occupied.

Not on any medication currently, I had been taking Sertraline but I brought myself off them at the start of the year. I have however arranged an appointment with the GP to talk about medication again. I did attend about 4 sessions of CBT but didn't really find it useful, thought someone else who was still on the waiting list behind me might as well try and benefit from it instead.
I don’t know your age or interests but Men in Sheds could interest you.
 

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