Depression

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Crammy Mackem said:
Checking in.

I'm now a Dad to a baby girl. She's really beautiful and I can't believe mine.

I'm struggling still with my anxiety and I think the lack of sleep isn't helping. I just really don't want to let my wife or her down and feel like a bit of a failure at the moment.

I'm throwing myself in to it and making sure I keep on with the chores but still having a hard time mentally adjusting. Hoping it's just the shellshock of it all happening.

Got a therapy session on Tuesday again to talk things through. Hope you're all well.
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Congratulations!! Shellshock is a very accurate description, even without any other issues going on a new baby sends anxiety sky high.

Hope the therapy session goes well, sounds like ideal timing to get everything off your chest.
 


Crammy Mackem said:
Checking in.

I'm now a Dad to a baby girl. She's really beautiful and I can't believe mine.

I'm struggling still with my anxiety and I think the lack of sleep isn't helping. I just really don't want to let my wife or her down and feel like a bit of a failure at the moment.

I'm throwing myself in to it and making sure I keep on with the chores but still having a hard time mentally adjusting. Hoping it's just the shellshock of it all happening.

Got a therapy session on Tuesday again to talk things through. Hope you're all well.
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You daft bugger. You've just got a friend for life. You have to take pleasure from these moments in life. Imagime what a brilliant Dad you could be.......and then do it.
 
Crammy Mackem said:
Checking in.

I'm now a Dad to a baby girl. She's really beautiful and I can't believe mine.

I'm struggling still with my anxiety and I think the lack of sleep isn't helping. I just really don't want to let my wife or her down and feel like a bit of a failure at the moment.

I'm throwing myself in to it and making sure I keep on with the chores but still having a hard time mentally adjusting. Hoping it's just the shellshock of it all happening.

Got a therapy session on Tuesday again to talk things through. Hope you're all well.
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anxiety is a completely normal response........ jesus christ its like riding a whirlwind at first, but it will settle down .........once shes off to uni like;)

many congratulations to you and Mrs Crammy Makem
 
Was told this book is canny like

Upward Spiral: Using Neuroscience to Reverse the Course of Depression, One Small Change at a Time

Considering getting it after seeing some good reviews but will have to wait till payday
 
Crammy Mackem said:
Checking in.

I'm now a Dad to a baby girl. She's really beautiful and I can't believe mine.

I'm struggling still with my anxiety and I think the lack of sleep isn't helping. I just really don't want to let my wife or her down and feel like a bit of a failure at the moment.

I'm throwing myself in to it and making sure I keep on with the chores but still having a hard time mentally adjusting. Hoping it's just the shellshock of it all happening.

Got a therapy session on Tuesday again to talk things through. Hope you're all well.
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Big congrats mate, keep battling on, you have so much to look forward to.
 
Had a little wobble last week, ended up beating myself up about something trivial and now I'm getting myself chewed up over school stuff (my son is 6 and he's going to be doing some kind of SATS test soon and I'm panicking for him :confused:).

Crammy Mackem said:
Cheers guys.

Just changed her nappy for the second time in 5 minutes, (they certainly can poop can't they).

As TVOR says, I love this thread despite it having a lot of sadness.

I hope every one has a great week!
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Congratulations fella, hope you and the family are doing well (it does take a bit of time to get used to a newborn but you'll be surprised at how quick you adapt / get up to speed ! :D) xx
 
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look out piano said:
Had a little wobble last week, ended up beating myself up about something trivial and now I'm getting myself chewed up over school stuff (my son is 6 and he's going to be doing some kind of SATS test soon and I'm panicking for him :confused:).
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SATS are utter bollocks! It's a test for the school to show how good they are at teaching and are of no benefit at all to the child. My Dad was instrumental in getting the year 9 SATS abolished and he was a teacher! I told mine that they mean nothing and I couldn't care less what they get in them as they serve no purpose in their life. Think about it: if he goes for a job or university interview, are they really going to say "now what grades did you get in your year 2 SATS?"! Just tell him to use them as a practice for getting used to working in exam conditions for when he has to do exams that actually mean something like GCSE's.
 
becs said:
SATS are utter bollocks! It's a test for the school to show how good they are at teaching and are of no benefit at all to the child. My Dad was instrumental in getting the year 9 SATS abolished and he was a teacher! I told mine that they mean nothing and I couldn't care less what they get in them as they serve no purpose in their life. Think about it: if he goes for a job or university interview, are they really going to say "now what grades did you get in your year 2 SATS?"! Just tell him to use them as a practice for getting used to working in exam conditions for when he has to do exams that actually mean something like GCSE's.
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He's 6 years old becs, I worry for him as its a lot of pressure to put on a bairn that young (and their parents). I'm fairly certain I wasn't tested on anything until I was due to go to the comp, which is how it should be. The panic gets worse when I remember how hard I found comp at times (some of the subjects anyway) and that I'll be little help to him in years to come with homework, which then makes me feel inadequate and stressed out fearing about my future failings :confused:. I'm on a worry-a-thon at the moment, I worry about things I've said, things I've done, the way I am, the way I look, my pretty shitty existence and how very much alone I am in the world.
 
look out piano said:
He's 6 years old becs, I worry for him as its a lot of pressure to put on a bairn that young (and their parents). I'm fairly certain I wasn't tested on anything until I was due to go to the comp, which is how it should be. The panic gets worse when I remember how hard I found comp at times (some of the subjects anyway) and that I'll be little help to him in years to come with homework, which then makes me feel inadequate and stressed out fearing about my future failings :confused:. I'm on a worry-a-thon at the moment, I worry about things I've said, things I've done, the way I am, the way I look, my pretty shitty existence and how very much alone I am in the world.
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Don't succumb to the pressure. Just treat it like the normal spelling/tables tests he probably gets.

I went to the same school as your son and we did do "the big tests" which were a booklet of questions that we did in silence in the classroom. There was no fuss and they were just sprung on us one random day. It was internal stuff that just showed the teacher what you were good at and what you needed extra help on. Nobody felt under pressure or worried about them. That's how it should be instead of SATS.

Also BBC Bitesize is useful if you are struggling with homework. I've had to look stuff up on there to help them with things I've forgotten since school :oops:

Crammy Mackem said:
Thanks for asking @becs .

It was good and she doesn't ever seem phased by what I say to her. I think the whole parent thing has just shook me but I know every one else will go through it too.

Hoping once I get a bit more sleep I'll be ok.
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I think everyone has had the "how the hell am I going to cope?!" moment, but somehow you just do! Plenty parents on here can chuck advice if you're worried or struggling with anything. Try and sleep when the baby sleeps if you can at first until she gets better at sleeping through.
 
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becs said:
SATS are utter bollocks! It's a test for the school to show how good they are at teaching and are of no benefit at all to the child. My Dad was instrumental in getting the year 9 SATS abolished and he was a teacher! I told mine that they mean nothing and I couldn't care less what they get in them as they serve no purpose in their life. Think about it: if he goes for a job or university interview, are they really going to say "now what grades did you get in your year 2 SATS?"! Just tell him to use them as a practice for getting used to working in exam conditions for when he has to do exams that actually mean something like GCSE's.
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A fair summation. Althoug i think they are more to see where he`s at now. If he`s not where they "think" he should be he gets a bit extra help no worry and nowt to beat yerself up about @look out piano.
 
Crammy Mackem said:
Thanks for asking @becs .

It was good and she doesn't ever seem phased by what I say to her. I think the whole parent thing has just shook me but I know every one else will go through it too.

Hoping once I get a bit more sleep I'll be ok.
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dont try to over analyse things, in my experience being a parent fails any kind of logical analysis:lol: just take each moment as it comes and enjoy each little thing, trust your instincts and learn to count to ten
 
Crammy Mackem said:
Thanks for asking @becs .

It was good and she doesn't ever seem phased by what I say to her. I think the whole parent thing has just shook me but I know every one else will go through it too.

Hoping once I get a bit more sleep I'll be ok.
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Only natural but you'll be fine man.
Back in 2004 when my first was born we'd only moved up here three weeks previously & I barely knew a soul for 300 miles other than me wife. Purposely had no job to go to at that point either so came home alone from the hospital after the night of the birth to the most daunting scared feeling I've arguably ever had :lol:.
Didn't knar what to do with mesel but knew fulwell life would never ever be the same again :cool:
Got easier & far far more enjoyable once the bairn got to the three month stage & there's more fatherly interaction available there.
Enjoy!!
 
Crammy Mackem said:
Thanks for asking @becs .

It was good and she doesn't ever seem phased by what I say to her. I think the whole parent thing has just shook me but I know every one else will go through it too.

Hoping once I get a bit more sleep I'll be ok.
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It's all about winging it !! Hope that helps......

look out piano said:
He's 6 years old becs, I worry for him as its a lot of pressure to put on a bairn that young (and their parents). I'm fairly certain I wasn't tested on anything until I was due to go to the comp, which is how it should be. The panic gets worse when I remember how hard I found comp at times (some of the subjects anyway) and that I'll be little help to him in years to come with homework, which then makes me feel inadequate and stressed out fearing about my future failings :confused:. I'm on a worry-a-thon at the moment, I worry about things I've said, things I've done, the way I am, the way I look, my pretty shitty existence and how very much alone I am in the world.
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I hear you..... My capacity for worry drives me round the twist....
Yeah.... Worry won't change a single thing. Logic tells you that, but it would be nice to bloody be able to switch the fucker off at times !!!
 
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Bad_mother said:
It's all about winging it !! Hope that helps......



I hear you..... My capacity for worry drives me round the twist....
Yeah.... Worry won't change a single thing. Logic tells you that, but it would be nice to bloody be able to switch the fucker off at times !!!
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It's hard, I get myself into a right state sometimes :(.
 
Think I'll try and get into see the doctor today, try and get back on the medication to help steady the ship.

Been getting 4/4.5 hours sleep a night now for the past couple of months (one of my tells), I've become more withdrawn from interacting with people (to the stage where I'm seeing the kids once a week and even then I'm so wound up and irritable it's unreal), my diet is becoming chaotic (not eating till after 4/5 some days cos my stomachs upset, then wolfing stuff down, stomach rebels)
Doing my 5 areas and mindfulness is giving me some clarity to see what I'm doing wrong, but it feels like such a sheer effort to face each day it's exhausting.
I know it's because of the factors in my life that are ongoing (Job - looming redundancy, wedding coming up, fiance moving here from overseas and she won't working to start with). Some of these things can be changed, some can't, but the worry is at the stage where even the slightest setback feels like it's a) end of it all and b) proving what i knew, that it was all going to go wrong regardless. The latter is what's really standing out when I read my diary back.
 
peil said:
Think I'll try and get into see the doctor today, try and get back on the medication to help steady the ship.

Been getting 4/4.5 hours sleep a night now for the past couple of months (one of my tells), I've become more withdrawn from interacting with people (to the stage where I'm seeing the kids once a week and even then I'm so wound up and irritable it's unreal), my diet is becoming chaotic (not eating till after 4/5 some days cos my stomachs upset, then wolfing stuff down, stomach rebels)
Doing my 5 areas and mindfulness is giving me some clarity to see what I'm doing wrong, but it feels like such a sheer effort to face each day it's exhausting.
I know it's because of the factors in my life that are ongoing (Job - looming redundancy, wedding coming up, fiance moving here from overseas and she won't working to start with). Some of these things can be changed, some can't, but the worry is at the stage where even the slightest setback feels like it's a) end of it all and b) proving what i knew, that it was all going to go wrong regardless. The latter is what's really standing out when I read my diary back.
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That's loads going on and it's no wonder you feel overwhelmed by everything. Concentrate on the bits on you can control like the eating and sleeping for now and try and get that sorted. I know the other stuff is a worry though. Take care xx
 
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