CRC / colonoscopy advice

Bukowski

Winger
I can't stand the taste of that. And having to have it so frequently 😩

Tastes like nowt else eh. First sup isn’t that bad but by the fifth or 6th glass you’re begging for it to be done.

Last one I had was 2019. It’s all coming back me now!
Bovril counts as clear fluid and it's filling. I usually drink Bovril instead of a meal.

This was a phenomenal shout Becs. Hot cup of Marmite for me tea, in between frequent trips to the throne of course. Quality.
 
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Dreadnought

Full Back
I thought Mrs Dreadnought was being very considerate when she said she'd bought me some wipes to use after the savage and very messy effects of the laxatives kicked in.

I thought she was referring to those Andrex refreshing arse cleaning wipes. But no, she got me domestos netty cleaners instead! Who said romance was dead!

I opted for the gas and air rather than a sedative, and only felt the odd bit of discomfort despite the consultant telling me I had a "long and complicated bowel"!

I also got a cheap laugh out of the gadgy who shoved the camera up me jacksy when he said he would first of all check the entrance to my anus with his finger. I said steady on old boy, we've only just met!
 

Hue Jorgan

Midfield
I’ve had a high FIT test so being sent for the camera up me claypipe.
Anyone had this? Advice? Sedative needed?
Yes been there, had to drink this stuff the night before to clear out the pipes, the instructions said to stay near a bog, nowt happened for a couple of hours but jeeezus when it did it was like a tidal wave
procedure was ok was sedated, and I got some canny pics of what look like caves in Wales
 

Bukowski

Winger
Yes been there, had to drink this stuff the night before to clear out the pipes, the instructions said to stay near a bog, nowt happened for a couple of hours but jeeezus when it did it was like a tidal wave
procedure was ok was sedated, and I got some canny pics of what look like caves in Wales

:lol: :lol:

burst out laughing reading this on the lav (just the 10th visit of the evening)
 

South Hylton

Midfield
I opted for the gas & air at the 11th hour because I didn’t want to be waiting around afterwards. It was nee bother to be honest. It’s the pumping you full of air that’s the bugger, if you please. I was literally like this >>> :eek:
 

Bukowski

Winger
This is a good one - rocked up at 9.30am for my colonoscopy procedure today only to be told I’d been taken off the list because someone had allowed my covid swab to “leak” and it couldn’t be conclusively negative. Spoke to them twice on the phone yesterday, no mention of this swab error, all fine and proceeding as planned. Refused to let me take a lateral flow test as well. Nurses blaming the admin, admin blaming the nurses. Swab up the shooter and down the throat, 3 days in complete isolation, nothing to eat for 24 hours beforehand and 20 volcanic shites later: fuck all to show for it. Thanks NHS!
 
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This is a good one - rocked up at 9.30am for my colonoscopy procedure today only to be told I’d been taken off the list because someone had allowed my covid swab to “leak” and it couldn’t be conclusively negative. Spoke to them twice on the phone yesterday, no mention of this swab error, all fine and proceeding as planned. Refused to let me take a lateral flow test as well. Nurses blaming the admin, admin blaming the nurses. Swab up the shooter and down the throat, 3 days in complete isolation, nothing to eat for 24 hours beforehand and 20 volcanic shites later: fuck all to show for it. Thanks NHS!

Awww that's horrible news! I really feel for you. Have a hug 😘
 

Bukowski

Winger
Awww that's horrible news! I really feel for you. Have a hug 😘

Massively stressed, feeling pretty knackered and sorry for myself rather than angry. My usual magnanimous self would say these things happen / nobody’s fault but given the timeline of events - it’s very much someone’s fault 😬
 

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