Worst pain

Chalfonts.

I've had them for a few years and they've caused periodic uncomfort, severe itchiness, mild pain and some light bleeding when having had to do a twenty wiper etc.
However after laying a rather large cable on Saturday something happened. On Sunday I developed a pain and itch like never before. Come Monday and it's getting unbearable. Had to finger me ring to check it out to find a massive fuckin swollen lump there. Dropping the kids off was hideous. Missus got me some germaloid cream so gave meself a couple of courses of that before bed. Barely slept as the pain kept waking me up but just felt worse next day. The bum parasite was growing. Sitting down was torture but standing up worse. Any movement and I was whimpering. I was walking like I'd shat myself as a relaxed sphincter was way too painful. I couldn't bend over. I honestly could have cried.
I've broken bones, torn ligaments and had me balls kicked up into my belly before but nothing comes close to the pain of a large swollen nobby.
Thankfully last night I sat on the bog for a dump, screaming out in the process. After the payload had been deposited I slowly arose, turned around to inspect only to find claret all over. The beast had exploded. After a nasty clean up of the undercarriage and shower I had a decent nights sleep to find zero pain the next day barring the small open wound where it had burst. I was merrily skipping about my day today.

Anyone else suffered from a bad case of the Farmers?
 
Last edited:


Bob Fleming said:
Chalfonts.

I've had them for a few years and they've caused periodic uncomfort, severe itchiness, mild pain and some light bleeding when having had to do a twenty wiper etc.
However after laying a rather large cable on Saturday something happened. On Sunday I developed a pain and itch like never before. Come Monday and it's getting unbearable. Had to finger me ring to check it out to find a massive fuckin swollen lump there. Dropping the kids off was hideous. Missus got me some germaloid cream so gave meself a couple of courses of that before bed. Barely slept as the pain kept waking me up but just felt worse next day. The bum parasite was growing. Sitting down was torture but standing up worse. Any movement and I was whimpering. I was walking like I'd shat myself as a relaxed sphincter was way too painful. I couldn't bend over. I honestly could have cried.
I've broken bones, torn ligaments and had me balls kicked up into my belly before but nothing comes close to the pain of a large swollen nobby.
Thankfully last night I sat on the bog for a dump, screaming out in the process. After the payload had been deposited I slowly arose, turned around to inspect only to find claret all over. The beast had exploded. After a nasty clean up of the undercarriage and shower I had a decent nights sleep to find zero pain the next day barring the small open wound where it had burst. I was merrily skipping about my day today.

Anyone else suffered from a bad case of the Farmers?
Click to expand...
Sounds horrific mate
 
Bob Fleming said:
Chalfonts.

I've had them for a few years and they've caused periodic uncomfort, severe itchiness, mild pain and some light bleeding when having had to do a twenty wiper etc.
However after laying a rather large cable on Saturday something happened. On Sunday I developed a pain and itch like never before. Come Monday and it's getting unbearable. Had to finger me ring to check it out to find a massive fuckin swollen lump there. Dropping the kids off was hideous. Missus got me some germaloid cream so gave meself a couple of courses of that before bed. Barely slept as the pain kept waking me up but just felt worse next day. The bum parasite was growing. Sitting down was torture but standing up worse. Any movement and I was whimpering. I was walking like I'd shat myself as a relaxed sphincter was way too painful. I couldn't bend over. I honestly could have cried.
I've broken bones, torn ligaments and had me balls kicked up into my belly before but nothing comes close to the pain of a large swollen nobby.
Thankfully last night I sat on the bog for a dump, screaming out in the process. After the payload had been deposited I slowly arose, turned around to inspect only to find claret all over. The beast had exploded. After a nasty clean up of the undercarriage and shower I had a decent nights sleep to find zero pain the next day barring the small open wound where it had burst. I was merrily skipping about my day today.

Anyone else suffered from a bad case of the Farmers?
Click to expand...
Way, way, way, way, way too much information on the arse claret marra.
 
Bob Fleming said:
Chalfonts.

I've had them for a few years and they've caused periodic uncomfort, severe itchiness, mild pain and some light bleeding when having had to do a twenty wiper etc.
However after laying a rather large cable on Saturday something happened. On Sunday I developed a pain and itch like never before. Come Monday and it's getting unbearable. Had to finger me ring to check it out to find a massive fuckin swollen lump there. Dropping the kids off was hideous. Missus got me some germaloid cream so gave meself a couple of courses of that before bed. Barely slept as the pain kept waking me up but just felt worse next day. The bum parasite was growing. Sitting down was torture but standing up worse. Any movement and I was whimpering. I was walking like I'd shat myself as a relaxed sphincter was way too painful. I couldn't bend over. I honestly could have cried.
I've broken bones, torn ligaments and had me balls kicked up into my belly before but nothing comes close to the pain of a large swollen nobby.
Thankfully last night I sat on the bog for a dump, screaming out in the process. After the payload had been deposited I slowly arose, turned around to inspect only to find claret all over. The beast had exploded. After a nasty clean up of the undercarriage and shower I had a decent nights sleep to find zero pain the next day barring the small open wound where it had burst. I was merrily skipping about my day today.

Anyone else suffered from a bad case of the Farmers?
Click to expand...
Wrong thread mate, pop it here.
 
Bob Fleming said:
Chalfonts.

I've had them for a few years and they've caused periodic uncomfort, severe itchiness, mild pain and some light bleeding when having had to do a twenty wiper etc.
However after laying a rather large cable on Saturday something happened. On Sunday I developed a pain and itch like never before. Come Monday and it's getting unbearable. Had to finger me ring to check it out to find a massive fuckin swollen lump there. Dropping the kids off was hideous. Missus got me some germaloid cream so gave meself a couple of courses of that before bed. Barely slept as the pain kept waking me up but just felt worse next day. The bum parasite was growing. Sitting down was torture but standing up worse. Any movement and I was whimpering. I was walking like I'd shat myself as a relaxed sphincter was way too painful. I couldn't bend over. I honestly could have cried.
I've broken bones, torn ligaments and had me balls kicked up into my belly before but nothing comes close to the pain of a large swollen nobby.
Thankfully last night I sat on the bog for a dump, screaming out in the process. After the payload had been deposited I slowly arose, turned around to inspect only to find claret all over. The beast had exploded. After a nasty clean up of the undercarriage and shower I had a decent nights sleep to find zero pain the next day barring the small open wound where it had burst. I was merrily skipping about my day today.

Anyone else suffered from a bad case of the Farmers?
Click to expand...
Glad your feeling better mate and I must say that's a cracking description of your problem 👍
 
Shingles V Gout.

Had them both.

Gout in the big toe wins 2-1.

Though a fella I knew said he once had shingles on his penis.

I submit, That would be the worst.
 
BrumBlue said:
Currently lying here with a 'quincy' (abcess behind the tonsills) and i think this is definately up there with the worst pain i have ever felt.

So what's the worst pain everyone's suffered? Can imagine breaking a leg or something would be rough.
Click to expand...
I had quincy back in the 90’s and can confirm it was an absolute bastard. Still vividly remember the massive needle being shoved down my throat to get at the abscess.
 
13 stitches in my left hand with no anaesthetic. Doctor said she couldn't give me a local as I'd had a couple of beers, which was a load of shit as the point of a local anaesthetic is exactly that to only numb that area. she was just pissed off that she had to get out of bed to come and stitch me up.

it knacked...
 
Big Jeff said:
I kicked the post once in a pair of Pumas. Agony.
Click to expand...
We moved house last October. When the removal lads left, the missus decided she wanted the big heavy sideboard in a different room, so me and her brother moved it. Half way to the other room I stubbed my big toe on one of the very solid legs, I wasn't wearing shoes. The pain was ridiculous, and then I wondered why my foot was wet. I had torn off my big toenail. Blood everywhere and a trip to a&e rounded off the day nicely.
 
Burst appendicitis when I was 14, burst dudenel ulcer when I was 16, broke 2 ribs in my 40s playing football.All canny painful but I've had a frozen shoulder for the past year and it's awful pàin at times and relentless fo4 a week or so, then eases for a while and returns for what seems for no reason.
Can last for up to three years. Wearing me down like a nagging toothache.
 
Diagnosed with bone cancer in the elbow and humerus last november, guided CT biopsy. Awake through the whole thing, and anesthetic didn't work as the nerve went right through it. Drilled a hole through the joint and I felt everything. Was in there a hour and a half. Lads on here have had worse by the looks of it, but that was it for me.
 

Back
Top