Things you father used to say

[silas80]

That's right, son, I'm home, an' I'm not gannae be sittin' on ma arse watching f***ing telly all day, that's for sure.

 

[Alan BStard]

Give with a smile and take with a smile.

 

[robertotmackem]

Do you think I've got a money tree growing out of my arse?

And when asked if I was his son "Well I got the blame for him"

 

[Billy Rocket]

That's right, son, I'm home, an' I'm not gannae be sittin' on ma arse watching f***ing telly all day, that's for sure.

Are you Alex Bruce?

 

[CatRyan]

Pick up that, your feet are closer to the floor than mine.
It's all over now. ( usually said after one side scored and during a McEnroe match caused the now legendary fight between my father and eldest brother)
They'll never believe me. ( sung)

 

[alexander]

Stop crying or I will hit you again; men don't cry.

 

[Scimmy]

Not my Da but my Granda, who used to work as a fitter for the electricity board, on seeing me tinkering with a piece of electrical equipment would always say "Watch what you're doing with that, else you'll gan up in a blue light!"

 

[Boots]

"You know what thought thought, thought thought he'd shit himself and when he looked he had". .......................nope I have no idea either. Daft auld bugger.

 

[EchoMan]

No mate, was yours?

He was a diamond but not a Neil.

 

[Dark Traveller]

I had quite the education vocabulary wise from my dad growing up in the 1980s.... usually whenever Maggie Thatcher was on the news

Mind you some of the stuff he came out without, the family would need a road map to understand where he was coming from...

"You know that thing from the other day, with what-his-name, where he was on about the do-dah... you know what I mean man, we saw it on the telly...."

Or he'd be thinking something over, and then start saying something halfway through.

 

[MickeyV]

"Expect nowt off a pig but a grunt." Usually used if someone said something stupid or rude.

 

[The Raven]

Seriously son, shut the fuck up.

 

[Mickeys Chicken Leg]

"You can't kid a kidder."
"If you fall off there and break both your legs, don't come running to me!"
"You're not watching The Sweeney! Now get to bed!"
"I've only got one hair on my chest and he's called Tony because he's the Tony one I've got"

 

[EchoMan]

"You can't kid a kidder."
"If you fall off there and break both your legs, don't come running to me!"
"You're not watching The Sweeney! Now get to bed!"

Bed was usually used with his only use of haddaway in my case. As in -Haddaway to bed

 

[Dilligaf60]

Not my Da but my Granda, who used to work as a fitter for the electricity board, on seeing me tinkering with a piece of electrical equipment would always say "Watch what you're doing with that, else you'll gan up in a blue light!"

Reminded me of another. My dad doing anything electrical, red to red, black to black, blue to bits.

Stop crying or I will hit you again; men don't cry.

 

[jcrossan]

Bloody hopeless.

At least five times during every match

 

[Son of Stan]

Jimmy Tarbuck used to do my dads nut in

Already mentioned my Dad hated him. His line for singers and comedians he didn't like was 'They wouldn't have him on at the club' - namely Westerhope Comrades.

 

[Deleted member 29601]

As a kid when I butted into his conversations, 'I'm talking to the wagon driver, not the shite on the wheel'.

I used to get little boys should be seen and not heard.f***ing bellend

(At 11) "go round to the pub and get me a couple of bottles of Strongarm".

I bet you never got asked for ID

 

[Charmless Man]

I remember my Dad being on nights when me and my Brother were acting up downstairs and him shouting down

"If you two don't pack it in I'll come down and fist the pair of you"

I now have visions of him wearing us like a pair of gloves.

 

[aukq]

my next door neighbour would sometimes say "i'll swing for ya!" when shouting at his kids

in a noosey type of way i think, not like a punch