Suicide

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Neither - just tragically sad that they believed that was the only way they could relief from the torment in their head and very difficult for those who were left behind who will always wonder what if.
 


A family friend killed himself when I was a teenager, he had been round ours on the day he did it and seemed fine. He took some cans, sat in his car and left the engine running with a hosepipe through the window.

He left many unanswered questions, mostly around why, but I agree with others that it is just terribly horribly sad that someone gets so far along that road that taking their own life is the only way out
 
Horley Chorley said:
I would imagine, those that commit suicide are neither selfish nor brave, nor weak.
I just think they've got to a point in their lives where they cannot see any other way out of their problems, other than to end their lives.
I really don't think that they even consider the implications of their actions, and how it will impact on loved ones they leave behind.
They seem to be totally focused on finding a way out of their torment.
It's often been stated, that the hours before somebody ends their life, that they seem totally relaxed and happy, giving no outward clues, that they'll be soon ending their life.
I think the appearance of seeming to be happy, is that they have come to terms with bringing about an end to their torment.
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This is something i try and look out for in terms of behaviours and something they tell you to as well. That period of time when they have made their decision. Could be 24 hours or more...could be only 2 minutes on a wim.
Agree with someone elses comment though is that getting help is brave but it takes that little bit of sight to possibly see another outcome. For a lot of people who follow through, that glimmer of recovery is nonexistant
 
OOOSH YEAH said:
Neither. People who do it are mentally broken beyond the comprehension of us who don’t have these urges. Who are we to say what they should and shouldn’t do. People suffering terminal illness and won’t come back from the brink of say their cancer is killing them and will want to be out of that misery. People who can’t see a way out or simply not want to carry on fighting it wanting peace will feel just as justified to make that decision too I’d imagine. Tragic is the only way I can imagine it being. Fortunately I know nobody that has succeeded.
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2 people in my year went through with it not long after leaving school, 1 was having problems in the army and the other jumped off a viaduct for reasons unknown although it sounded like he just gave up on life. Its very very sad.
 
dangermows said:
Selfish or brave?

I've always thought it was really brave but just heard a friend of the family has done it (and left behind two little uns) and I can see why some would class it as a selfish act now.
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It's neither because the person is (in my opinion) not thinking in a rational way so is not making a 'conscious' decision. Sadly, it's the only way out for them and they probably don't consider others or 'think' that what they are doing is best for all.
 
dangermows said:
Selfish or brave?

I've always thought it was really brave but just heard a friend of the family has done it (and left behind two little uns) and I can see why some would class it as a selfish act now.
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Selfish 100% my dad did it when I was 8 and it killed me, still love him but he took the easy way out.
 
I think it’s a selfish and stupid act to do but I don’t really understand it as I’ve never had those thoughts.

People leaving behind kids, families and friends because they are high on drugs or a partner has left them. Just doesn’t seem worth it to me.

Know of a young lass who’s recently tried this and has failed and ended up brain damaged. All because a fella cheated and left her. If she ever gets back to anywhere near she was I feel like she will regret her choice massively.
 
stephen cartwright said:
Ive known two people who committed suicide and imo it was neither selfish or brave but incredibly sad

That’s my contribution to the thread over and out
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Same here Carty.
I knew 2 lads from work who took their own lives.
I’d never have thought they would ever have done it from how they appeared on the surface.
You are spot on with your comment about it being incredibly sad.
 
Tragic is what it is. Leaves a trail of destruction. A parent burying their child, children left without a parent. I've had the thoughts myself a few times but what I have and the destruction I'd leave behind has always stopped me making an attempt. People who actually do it are beyond that though.
 
niceonemarra said:
One of my old mates tried to commit suicide in front of me and another guy, no need for that comment I've experienced it first hand, I knew it was just a cry for help but it was 50/50 whether he survived. Nothing brave about it at all so I don't know why you would even say that.
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You implied I'd made a click bait thread about a person I knows suicide. That's why you got called a wanker.

I've already said why I can see it as brave. And others have agreed.

So let's leave it there.

HWTL2019 said:
Selfish 100% my dad did it when I was 8 and it killed me, still love him but he took the easy way out.
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Sorry to hear that mate. And yes, as I said, can now see why some class it as selfish.
 
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I'd never say its brave personally, but that's not a criticism of people who have taken their own lives because I know they won't be in the right state of mind, our brains can do fucked up things to us. If you were thinking straight, I'd say it's braver to tackle whatever is getting you that depressed and keep going until you beat it, not take an option that ends your life and passes pain onto others. You can't call it cowardly or selfish either though, its just people who have been pushed further than they can take.

One thing I am glad about with modern society is that people are starting to feel more comfortable with discussing their feelings, hopefully giving a chance for people to intervene and get them help. There's loads of people happy to help, you just need to look on the depression thread on here to see that, there's loads of lads and lasses who don't know you, but if you needed it they'd go out of their way to meet up with you, talk things through and try to help, it's genuinely the best thing on this board, and people like that are all over, just need to be honest and open up
 
One of the family tried and succeeded, it's the not knowing why that gets me, as for brave or selfish, don't know.
 
yorkyexile said:
Neither brave nor selfish. It simply is. When your brains out of kilter that much that it seems the only option, as daft as it may seem to us or me when i`m ok it seems like the most rational thing in the world.
And as someone who has had family do it the mess left behind is horrendous, not just the phsyical mess of stuff to sort out but the emotional mess heartbreak and unanswered questions
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Me anarl :(
 
My cousin took his own life last year - he was living down under though and the ensuing fall out has my aunty and uncle devastated - the lass he was living with is a bit of a digger and an ex drug addict/alcoholic (so she says) and wants all his money for herself but his daughter and ex over here think they should get it all. It’s getting very bitter and my aunty and uncle are in bits over it.

I told me aunty that she should try and get it and donate the lot to MIND or someone. It’s a hefty sum as well. Money causes nout but grief. I’ve always been at my happiest when I don’t have much (but nee debt as well like)
 
Guinness Guzzler said:
I'd never say its brave personally, but that's not a criticism of people who have taken their own lives because I know they won't be in the right state of mind, our brains can do fucked up things to us. If you were thinking straight, I'd say it's braver to tackle whatever is getting you that depressed and keep going until you beat it, not take an option that ends your life and passes pain onto others. You can't call it cowardly or selfish either though, its just people who have been pushed further than they can take.

One thing I am glad about with modern society is that people are starting to feel more comfortable with discussing their feelings, hopefully giving a chance for people to intervene and get them help. There's loads of people happy to help, you just need to look on the depression thread on here to see that, there's loads of lads and lasses who don't know you, but if you needed it they'd go out of their way to meet up with you, talk things through and try to help, it's genuinely the best thing on this board, and people like that are all over, just need to be honest and open up
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Agreed GG
This board has many good uses, and many good and caring people get on here, and at times it tends to bring out the best in people.
 
Friend of mine took his life recently, his funeral is on Friday. Really popular lad, life and soul of the party, been to a few home and away games with him with the jarra branch and a stag do, you would never have thought he had issues. He used to sing “I love my life!” He had a young daughter similar to mine.

I wasn’t a close friend but it has taken my by surprise, someone so full of life can be so tormented inside.
 
It feels very selfish when it happens, the people left behind with questions, guilt and why, is my experience.
I felt angry strangely that it happened to a family member, the family would have supported him had they known something was wrong.

But when it settles the thought that someone wants to end it all, surely means that they are not in any position to think of anyone else, just the pain they feel.
I’m not it the least trying to say I know the answers but having been involved in other mates who have broke down and asked for help, it’s startling and very upsetting to hear people speak about “bad thoughts” being the answer.
I’m so proud I got someone to seek medical help and supported him for months until the medication kicked in and he started to feel better, he’s still here with his wife and kids and the thoughts are no longer in his head.

I fully admit I was a “man up” person about 10 years ago, no longer.
Talking to people as a bloke is very difficult, I’m very guilty of this, I love to listen but never ever share my problems.
I’m trying to change.
 
It really doesn’t need to be defined into one of those two extremes, not a helpful post IMO.

Whatever the circumstances, there will be an issue with the person considering suicide that needs to be treated and corrected. As a society we need to improve our communication channels and ability to discuss how we feel - too many feel trapped and isolated with thoughts that destroy their mind.

arthursboy said:
It feels very selfish when it happens, the people left behind with questions, guilt and why, is my experience.
I felt angry strangely that it happened to a family member, the family would have supported him had they known something was wrong.

But when it settles the thought that someone wants to end it all, surely means that they are not in any position to think of anyone else, just the pain they feel.
I’m not it the least trying to say I know the answers but having been involved in other mates who have broke down and asked for help, it’s startling and very upsetting to hear people speak about “bad thoughts” being the answer.
I’m so proud I got someone to seek medical help and supported him for months until the medication kicked in and he started to feel better, he’s still here with his wife and kids and the thoughts are no longer in his head.

I fully admit I was a “man up” person about 10 years ago, no longer.
Talking to people as a bloke is very difficult, I’m very guilty of this, I love to listen but never ever share my problems.
I’m trying to change.
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Exactly what my post is about mate, we need to improve our communication channels for those who are struggling.
 
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Joe Public said:
Friend of mine took his life recently, his funeral is on Friday. Really popular lad, life and soul of the party, been to a few home and away games with him with the jarra branch and a stag do, you would never have thought he had issues. He used to sing “I love my life!” He had a young daughter similar to mine.

I wasn’t a close friend but it has taken my by surprise, someone so full of life can be so tormented inside.
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That's really sad.
Because most of us couldn't spot any obvious signs that all wasn't well, it makes it harder to take.
There's usually the "if I'd only known their state of mind" but they hide their problems/torment so well, and appear to be happy and carefree, probably already knowing they'll soon be free from their troubles.
 
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