Parents who “share” their kids at Xmas

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My ex gets our son every weekend from 12pm Saturday til he drops him at school on a Monday morning. This Christmas that will mean the bairn coming home Christmas eve morning, sleeping at home and then I'll pop him up his dads about 2pm Christmas day, he'll then be dropped off about 1pm Boxing Day and then back to his dads that weekend. I've always been fair to my sons dad and things are pretty amicable, I'm not a twat and have never felt the need to use our child as a weapon.
 
Here's an alternative.

Avoid the family on Christmas Day all together. Spend it alone and avoid the usual tears , sprout farts, dramatics and hysterics.

There are 364 other days when one can visit / be visited. :D
 
StiflerPG said:
Its the second year for me. Last year I picked them up at tea time and they came and were supposed to go home on Boxing Day night but wanted to stay again. I phoned them on the morning but after that I honestly felt like shit. Preferably I'd like them here on Christmas morning but it won't happen as its not their "home", even though they know its their home with me. Doesn't help that shes moved a lad in and they'll be waking up with him this year, its heart wrenching tbh. I don't know how I am going to feel this year but as long as they are happy then I'm happy, that is the main thing really.
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I used to worry about other blokes becoming my kid’s stepdad but it turns out that the ex’s husband is ok.
 
look out piano said:
My ex gets our son every weekend from 12pm Saturday til he drops him at school on a Monday morning. This Christmas that will mean the bairn coming home Christmas eve morning, sleeping at home and then I'll pop him up his dads about 2pm Christmas day, he'll then be dropped off about 1pm Boxing Day and then back to his dads that weekend. I've always been fair to my sons dad and things are pretty amicable, I'm not a twat and have never felt the need to use our child as a weapon.
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Exactly the way it should be. xx
 
Kent_Mackem said:
Are court orders horrendously expensive with lawyers' fees? I think we've managed to approach an agreement without one. However she's going to get the jump next year when she finds out I've recently started seeing somebody (not that it is anything to do with the ex like). I wondered how much I'd need to save up just in case.
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They don't have to be. You can do most of it yourself and pay a barrister to read your stuff, advise you and advocate on the day. It's the lawyers that cost money, swapping letters etc.

I found out (too late) all that's a waste of time.

The courts want to give fathers normal access and it would take major shenanigans from your ex to stop that.

The benefit of the court order over "by agreement" is the threat of contempt of court should the order not be complied with.

After two/three pretty horrific years of being fucked about I've now had two really good years after getting the order sorted.
 
dangermows said:
Really feel for some people in this positions. Sounds like some women can be absolute fucknuts
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Couldn’t agree more. Can’t pretend I’ve ever been in this position, but I know I’ve told friends who were they were wrong

look out piano said:
Yes indeed janey, not everyone can be a decent human being though sadly xx
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Very true, and with child, who has no idea, in the middle. xx
 
dangermows said:
It's usually weighted very much in the woman's favour.
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That's because in most cases, the woman does the majority of the day to day admin.

Not all cases, but most.

My gfs dickhead ex has missed every school production, Carol service, sports event, Saturday footy game for my stepson, ordering school photos, etc etc etc for the last year or so, because my gf stopped doing his admin for him. He kicked off, but it's not a woman's job to hold a dads hand and do the legwork for him. If whinging fathers for justice types actually pulled their weight rather than complaining, they'd not have the time to dress as spiderman and climb anything.
 
Gromit said:
That's because in most cases, the woman does the majority of the day to day admin.

Not all cases, but most.

My gfs dickhead ex has missed every school production, Carol service, sports event, Saturday footy game for my stepson, ordering school photos, etc etc etc for the last year or so, because my gf stopped doing his admin for him. He kicked off, but it's not a woman's job to hold a dads hand and do the legwork for him. If whinging fathers for justice types actually pulled their weight rather than complaining, they'd not have the time to dress as spiderman and climb anything.
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Replace mothers and fathers with parents and I’d agree.

I’m not comfortable with branding an entire gender based on personal anecdotes.

Oba said:
They don't have to be. You can do most of it yourself and pay a barrister to read your stuff, advise you and advocate on the day. It's the lawyers that cost money, swapping letters etc.

I found out (too late) all that's a waste of time.

The courts want to give fathers normal access and it would take major shenanigans from your ex to stop that.

The benefit of the court order over "by agreement" is the threat of contempt of court should the order not be complied with.

After two/three pretty horrific years of being fucked about I've now had two really good years after getting the order sorted.
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I paid about £200 I think when I applied directly to the local court for a contact order.

The ex had a solicitor, I thought that she’d be evil but at the hearing she did the paperwork for both of us.
 
my ex (you wouldn't want to) is evil but I'm lucky my daughter is older and wants xmas eve with me then we have another Christmas day the 27th ..... not ideal but she loves her presents and we have a good day and time together ...... really hard for dads whos ex is just not a good person and doesn't have the kids as the priority and actually tries to make them feel guilty for being happy !!
 
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