Parents who “share” their kids at Xmas

Less of a ball ache the driving 5 hours to pick them up just to have it cancelled as.youre nearly there.

Less of a ball ache of not knowing when you're going to see them.

It's a faff, and can cost money. Butnthe courts default position now is you should get every other weekend plus half the holidays, if that's what you want.

Depending on her whims and favour is exhauasting. A court order cuts the bullshit games out.

She is quite good with when I have him, like I said I get 2 nights a week. Not sure I could go to every other weekend. That would be shite.
She can be really hard work at the best of times so I just make sure I pay what im supposed to and that I never mess about with when I have him. I dont think I have ever said I cant have him or asked to change a day.
 


She is quite good with when I have him, like I said I get 2 nights a week. Not sure I could go to every other weekend. That would be shite.
She can be really hard work at the best of times so I just make sure I pay what im supposed to and that I never mess about with when I have him. I dont think I have ever said I cant have him or asked to change a day.

Well, if it works for you then fine. But in my experience if they have the power and have got you dangling on a string, it's not good. A court order (saying whatever you want it to) is something solid to build on and a stick to use if she plays silly buggers.

Up to you, of course, and everyone's experience is different
 
Well, if it works for you then fine. But in my experience if they have the power and have got you dangling on a string, it's not good. A court order (saying whatever you want it to) is something solid to build on and a stick to use if she plays silly buggers.

Up to you, of course, and everyone's experience is different

Oh she 100% has me by the balls. I just presumed that this was normal being a single dad to be honest.
 
This is a first for me aswell. Luckyily my ex is at work at 7 in the morning Christmas Day so I’ll get the kid first thing in the morning. But gonna have to drop her back off about 2’ish which is going to be shit cos I’m used to spending all Christmas with her not just a few hours.
 
She is quite good with when I have him, like I said I get 2 nights a week. Not sure I could go to every other weekend. That would be shite.
She can be really hard work at the best of times so I just make sure I pay what im supposed to and that I never mess about with when I have him. I dont think I have ever said I cant have him or asked to change a day.

I'm similar. I have mine every weekend and most of the holidays. I'm getting on alright with the Mother at the minute (not her boyfriend mind who is a bellend) so its working.

Oh she 100% has me by the balls. I just presumed that this was normal being a single dad to be honest.

Same here
 
Ive given up with the idea of another relationship to be honest at the moment. Im 31 and am pretty happy with the setup. My lad is going to be 5 in Jan and its getting to the point now where he prefers to be at mine than hers. I have him every Tuesday night and then one night over the weekend and the follwing day. If i meet someone then ill cross that bridge when I come it but I cant be arsed with the hassle to be honest.

I'm similar mate. I have the bairn every weekend and so a new relationship just isn't feasible at the minute for me but I'm fine with that as wouldn't ever put anything ahead of time with my little girl. The Mother's hold all the cards and they know it.
 
We do alternate years. The first one, two years ago, we split up three months before Christmas. It was my folks turn to host Christmas, in Whitley Bay, we, and I do still live near Portsmouth. It broke her heart, but it was sticking to my guns that it was my folks turn to have the kids at Christmas. But, we have not had Solicitors and have sorted our own stuff out.
 
Got my two (aged 5 and 6) on Christmas Eve during the day and then going over to open presents with them for a couple of hours on Christmas Day morning. Not confirmed but hopefully have them from mid afternoon on Boxing Day too.

Normally have them stay with me 4 or 5 nights over a two week period and on top of that go round to their house 2 or 3 other nights to do bath and bedtime to fit in with my ex’s shifts.

Works pretty well with the kids but they’re in Durham and I’m up in Gosforth (and work in Teesside) so I’m constantly in the car.
 
Got my two (aged 5 and 6) on Christmas Eve during the day and then going over to open presents with them for a couple of hours on Christmas Day morning. Not confirmed but hopefully have them from mid afternoon on Boxing Day too.

Normally have them stay with me 4 or 5 nights over a two week period and on top of that go round to their house 2 or 3 other nights to do bath and bedtime to fit in with my ex’s shifts.

Works pretty well with the kids but they’re in Durham and I’m up in Gosforth (and work in Teesside) so I’m constantly in the car.

Try living in London, family in Sunderland and kids in Mid Wales mate!
 
Didn't have mine on Christmas morning last year but saw them later on in the day. They know it's Christmas day, so we just opened presents when they arrived.
 
My OH has his on boxing day and we will have a second xmas day then. His ex has said he can come round Xmas morning but it's a lot of traveling about so he's said to do that and then they can swap next year, which she's agreed to, that's got to be as fair as possible
 
It’s not a nice situation by any means but it’s comforting knowing so many people are in the same position and make it work.

I think my plan is going to be when I get them to my house I’m going to make them go to bed for literally a minute or two and then get me out of bed and start all the “I’ll check if he’s been” malarkey. They’ll think it’s hilarious having to get into bed and that and I’ll get the feeling of a proper Xmas morning :D

Honestly feel for parents who don’t see their kids at Xmas for no good reason. It’s disgusting.
 
This year will be the first year that I won’t be waking up with the kids on Xmas morning. They’re only 5 so xmas is a big exciting thing for them still.
I’m not complaining about the time I’m getting with them or anything, me and the ex get on well and what we’ve arranged is fair for everyone.

Just wondering from people in the same boat, when do you do the present opening? I’ll be picking them up late morning so there’s time to do it then before dinner, but a few people I’ve spoke to have suggested having our own “Xmas morning” but on Boxing Day?

the only issue with the sharing on xmas day is that the children get rushed around and end up having to leave their presents behind instead of playing with them (we shared for a couple of xmas days). meal times become a bit of an issue and really it is hard enough for the cook without other issues cropping up.

with my grandson we arranged (son separated from partner) with sons ex partner for the grandson to stay with them on xmas day and he would come to ours on boxing day and stay the night. That way everbody was much more relaxed about both xmas day and boxing day. as far as I am aware my grandson thought it was a win win as he was able to play with his cousins on xmas day
 
Fuckin hell. I know first hand that life doesn’t always go to plan but that is just brutal. Can it not wait a few weeks?

yeah, that's what i hoped but it's been dragging on for months now. they sleep in separate rooms and it's fairly toxic at times (not violent though) so i think they just want it done and move on. pity though as from the outside they're a great family.
 

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