Parents who “share” their kids at Xmas

ouro said:
My da fucked off when I was 9, paid no child support, and I saw him a grand total of 3 times more before he died when I was 26. Christmas? pff..
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I wish my da had fucked off when I was 9 . Before I was born would have been better. I might have had something like a normal life .

Jgrainger said:
2nd year for me after a terrible Xmas last year. The arrangement was for me to come over on Christmas morning and see my little boy open his presents and then go and do my own thing and then pick him up at about 5pm. This way we split the cost of the presents and all was well. 3 days before Christmas she took a dislike to something I said (a common issue) and pulled me from coming over. I had 3 days to go and get presents etc so that my son who was 3 didn’t think that Santa just didn’t bother coming to his Daddy’s.
I turned up at 5pm as she had instructed after spending the day on my own, only for her to tell me she wasn’t ready yet and made me sit in the car for half an hour.
This year I made it very clear that after what she did last Christmas that I would be having him over night Christmas eve and would drop him off at 5pm Christmas day. She shit herself and after leaving her for a couple of weeks to dwell on it she invited me over for the day and to have dinner there. I have made sure this time that I’ve got half his presents at mine in case she pulls the rug from under me again.
Only really works as we are both still single but I pretty much get walked over for the sake of making sure I have the best possible relationship with my little boy.
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Sad story mate . All the best .
 
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Going round early Christmas morning to watch him open his presents. He will have lunch there then come round about 5ish. Then I’ve got him till the 28th. Works out for both of us and he’s happy with it. 18 months after split and we get on better than in the last 18 years. Guess we just can’t live together..
 
Oba said:
Well, if it works for you then fine. But in my experience if they have the power and have got you dangling on a string, it's not good. A court order (saying whatever you want it to) is something solid to build on and a stick to use if she plays silly buggers.

Up to you, of course, and everyone's experience is different
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Are court orders horrendously expensive with lawyers' fees? I think we've managed to approach an agreement without one. However she's going to get the jump next year when she finds out I've recently started seeing somebody (not that it is anything to do with the ex like). I wondered how much I'd need to save up just in case.
 
the nephew's allowed ower to the ex bewer' s ma's gaff to see the bairn on christmas morn to watch her open her presents off santy and everyone. he's having her on the 28th-30th so i'll get to see her then I reckon mate
 
TubeStationAt12 said:
This year will be the first year that I won’t be waking up with the kids on Xmas morning. They’re only 5 so xmas is a big exciting thing for them still.
I’m not complaining about the time I’m getting with them or anything, me and the ex get on well and what we’ve arranged is fair for everyone.

Just wondering from people in the same boat, when do you do the present opening? I’ll be picking them up late morning so there’s time to do it then before dinner, but a few people I’ve spoke to have suggested having our own “Xmas morning” but on Boxing Day?
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If you get on well with the ex, have you thought of being there for Christmas morning and watching them unwrap their gifts? I did this the first year after I broke up with my first wife and it worked a treat. It was tough to leave, but I enjoyed the fact that I still saw the kids opening their gifts.
 
I’m 22 and have always had Christmas Day at me mams, Boxing Day too. Then 27th over my dads side for a second Christmas Day.

As I got older, I started going to match/out on the piss with my pals.

Now I live with our lass (no) we drive to my mams for Christmas morning in Chester-le-Street. Get there about half 8, leave about 11. Back to Stockton for presents at her mams and dinner. Now she comes to the match with me on Boxing Day and we go out with her family on the night.

Still see my dads side on the 27th.

Mind I work away so one year I work Christmas, then NY the next.
 
DonaldDownTheWing said:
I’m 22 and have always had Christmas Day at me mams, Boxing Day too. Then 27th over my dads side for a second Christmas Day.

As I got older, I started going to match/out on the piss with my pals.

Now I live with our lass (no) we drive to my mams for Christmas morning in Chester-le-Street. Get there about half 8, leave about 11. Back to Stockton for presents at her mams and dinner. Now she comes to the match with me on Boxing Day and we go out with her family on the night.

Still see my dads side on the 27th.

Mind I work away so one year I work Christmas, then NY the next.
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Pics of yer ma then
 
Posh/ODvM said:
My bitch of an ex made it very clear that if I wanted to see my kids over Christmas it had to be at her place on her terms. I stuck it for several years until I got to the stage of wanting to spend time with my new partner (now wife) on Christmas Day too. It all came to a head on one awful Christmas Day when I ended up having TWO Christmas dinners just to please everyone.

Since then I've not see my kids on Christmas Day or Boxing Day for 10 years, they just come over and get their pressies a coupe of days earlier. Even though they are in their early 20's now it still hurts.

Divorced parents (and lets be honest its usually the mother) who use Christmas as a weapon are f'kin scum.
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About 5 years ago I was scheduled to collect number 1 son on Christmas Day at about 1ish. She opened the door, our kid stood behind with some bags. Something was said between us on the door step that annoyed her so she closed the door without sending my son out.

I drove home which luckily is only a mile away, and I then received a text from the ex’s mother who was staying there for Christmas. She’d manage to calm things down and told me to drive back to collect my kid.

At one point I kept all of the texts that were sent to me when access was denied, even though we had a court order. But I don’t want to be bitter and nobody is perfect, and in 2 years I will stop paying maintenance and it will all have been another of life’s experiences.
 
Stevie Freestein II said:
and in 2 years I will stop paying maintenance and it will all have been another of life’s experiences.
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One of the best days of my life when that all stopped. The cheeky bitch even suggested that I might like to still give her some money 'to keep a good home' for our eldest who was off to University. She got told to f*ck off and I helped my daughter out directly so not a penny went anywhere near her scabby money-grabbing mother.
 
Cox Green Fc said:
Il not see. My daughter this Christmas at all or here from her .:(
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Nightmare mate I hope you get to see her soon.

njmackem said:
If you get on well with the ex, have you thought of being there for Christmas morning and watching them unwrap their gifts? I did this the first year after I broke up with my first wife and it worked a treat. It was tough to leave, but I enjoyed the fact that I still saw the kids opening their gifts.
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That’s what I done last year mate. We broke up back end of last year and even then we were on good terms and I actually stayed at hers on the Xmas eve (spare room) so I could put them to bed and see them getting up on Xmas morning. This year is different, I’ve got a new partner now and although me and the ex get on really well we thought it was best that we do things separately.
 
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This might be weird but here goes - my missus and Ihave been broken up for 4 years she had a new partner now but I still go round in morning to see Kids unwrap their presents have me dinner there then go to my mams. I have the kids all day on the 27th with their cousins etc.

I think if you get in and be amicable you can still make it a joint occasion - appreciate my situation with the ex might not be s majority one
 
TubeStationAt12 said:
Nightmare mate I hope you get to see her soon.


That’s what I done last year mate. We broke up back end of last year and even then we were on good terms and I actually stayed at hers on the Xmas eve (spare room) so I could put them to bed and see them getting up on Xmas morning. This year is different, I’ve got a new partner now and although me and the ex get on really well we thought it was best that we do things separately.
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Thanks mate. Going through an appalling time atm .
 
Stevie Freestein II said:
Do you have a contact order?
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I haven't got any currently going through a court battle . Can't even f***ing video call her man

alisafc said:
My boyfriend is the same with his eldest, nightmare can't believe how evil some women are. Still happy to grab money off him every month but hasn't seen them since Easter
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Kills me inside everyday, don't know what ad do without the support from my other family mam dad etc
 
Its the second year for me. Last year I picked them up at tea time and they came and were supposed to go home on Boxing Day night but wanted to stay again. I phoned them on the morning but after that I honestly felt like shit. Preferably I'd like them here on Christmas morning but it won't happen as its not their "home", even though they know its their home with me. Doesn't help that shes moved a lad in and they'll be waking up with him this year, its heart wrenching tbh. I don't know how I am going to feel this year but as long as they are happy then I'm happy, that is the main thing really.
 

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