Mental Health - general discussion

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Snaggletooth said:
Its 2.14 am when im starting this post. Im posting the time as a reference to how long it might take me to finish it. I wont edit the time.

This is very hard....and ive wrote this out countless times (mainly on the depression thread on rtg), and deleted it. I dont think i was ready to talk.

I got a call from CAMHS about 3 years ago to tell me my daughter, then 15, was under their care, and had been for 12 months. They contacted me as an emergency as she was contemplating suicide. They explained what had been going on, (she consented to this phone call) and where she was at mental health wise. I really had no idea of any of this, so to say it came as a shock would be an understatement. The last three years have been a battle. Ive seen the self harm, the attempts, the cries for help. She has been, or rather we both have, been much more open. Its made for a very hard family life....ive tried to be the glue that held us together, but its been f***ing hard. She was always "my little princess", and i was always her hero, a typical father daughter relationship i guess. Ive lost count of the sleepless nights ive had....it seems like a recurring bad dream. Ive even seen her suicide note ffs, though she doesnt know this. She has had help, and she has really improved over the last few months, but its really taken its toll on me now.
My line manager, and work in general, have been fantastic. I work in a care environment (think cancer and daffodils), so are very pro-active in relation to mental health. I have been offered, and have taken, various support mechanisms, which have helped. The biggest help though, for me, was actually saying to my wife that i needed help, which, in hindsight, she had been saying to me for ages...i just hadnt listened.

Sometimes though, help can come from the strangest places......

A poster on another forum posted a Happy Easter message. My reply to that message has led me to (hopefully) posting, and not deleting, this on here now.

This was my reply....

"Happy Easter to you ********, and everyone else.

Im not religous at all, but i work in a cancer care hospice, and the hospice's chaplain held a short Easter service on thursday in what we call "the reflection room". Its a very calming room with a rock sphere water feature, which makes constant water flow noises. Its a place where any visitors, relatives, staff can go if they want a bit peace and quiet.....a bit of time for reflection. With the current situation, we only have essential staff in, and tbh, its been quite surreal. Im not frontline, (chef) but going up the ward area, and seeing the nurses....colleagues....in all the PPE (we have x1 positive, and x3 suspected covid19), its been quite emotional at times. Anyway, i went to the service, there was only about 12 people there, and it was literally 15 minutes long, but i found it really uplifting. I cant explain why, as i said i am not religous at all, but it was exactly what i needed at that time. I thought of my family, i shed a tear, and said a few words to myself...a prayer? Maybe.

I was a bit down last week, and as the week wore on, i couldnt wait till end of my shift on thursday afternoon. Im off now till Tuesday, and where on thursday morning i couldn't wait for my shift to finish, i now cant wait to get back on Tuesday.

What im getting at here is that one persons words (religous or not) and the manner in which she spoke those words completely changed my mood......massively.

Stay safe everyone., because everyone matters".

My daughter is doing well, really well. She's not 100% ok, nowhere near, but as i now know, its ok not to be ok.

Its now 3.14 so "only" took me an hour to write this out. Im now going to bed, do i post it, or do i delete it?

3.19am now ..5 minutes of thinking here!!

Fuck it.....post.

Goodnight all, stay safe, stay well.
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Cracking post that mate and your words bring comfort in these difficult times. You've been there for your daughter and you're doing a great job looking after the people in the hospice. Keep on going as you're doing good things, but remember to look after yourself as well. Sending my love xx
Struggling again tonight :(

Missing my Mam and my son a lot and really worried about things.
 
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becs said:
Cracking post that mate and your words bring comfort in these difficult times. You've been there for your daughter and you're doing a great job looking after the people in the hospice. Keep on going as you're doing good things, but remember to look after yourself as well. Sending my love xx
Struggling again tonight :(

Missing my Mam and my son a lot and really worried about things.
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Hi becs,
I "liked" your original post which was in reply to my post (thank you, that meant a lot), and have just seen your edit....i really wish i had seen it earlier.
I hope you are feeling better about things, it is a very worrying time. When you say you are mising your mam and your son, are they living seperate to you? I dont want to pry.....just trying to get context.
If you dont want to say on here, please feel free to pm me.
You take care,
X
 
Snaggletooth said:
Hi becs,
I "liked" your original post which was in reply to my post (thank you, that meant a lot), and have just seen your edit....i really wish i had seen it earlier.
I hope you are feeling better about things, it is a very worrying time. When you say you are mising your mam and your son, are they living seperate to you? I dont want to pry.....just trying to get context.
If you dont want to say on here, please feel free to pm me.
You take care,
X
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It was another post. I don't know why it came up as an edit rather than a seperate post.

Yes my Mam and son both live in separate houses. Both my sons moved out for uni but the eldest one moved back home when lockdown was imminent. The younger one stayed at uni as he works in retail so they need him in the shop. Most of his friends have gone back home, so he's pretty much working and sitting in a flat on his own. He's lonely and has been struggling to buy fresh food, although I spoke to him late last night and he said he's managing to buy things again now. My Mam struggled a lot with loneliness last year after the death of my Dad. She'd just got into a nice routine of volunteer work and social groups, but they've all been cancelled now, so she's stuck in the house on her own. I usually see both at least once a week and we'd usually do family stuff together over Easter weekend.

Struggling with being stuck in the house on complete lock down as I'm extremely vulnerable so I'm missing dog walks and running, Bob is on end of life care for lymphoma, struggling to get home deliveries for food then when it arrives several things are out of stock and missing, worried about finances long term, my crohn's is playing up, getting a lot of back and hip pain as my mattress is broken, my usual meds are out of stock so I've been put on alternative ones that are not as good at controlling things. Should have been in Iceland last week but that all got cancelled.

Yesterday Bob was poorly with sickness and diarrhea. Jack fell over chasing a ball and injured his shoulder and lost a tooth. Both dogs were sitting looking sorry for themselves. The oven door seal split so I've had to order a new one. Just lots of little things like that. It's really hard at the moment :(
 
becs said:
It was another post. I don't know why it came up as an edit rather than a seperate post.

Yes my Mam and son both live in separate houses. Both my sons moved out for uni but the eldest one moved back home when lockdown was imminent. The younger one stayed at uni as he works in retail so they need him in the shop. Most of his friends have gone back home, so he's pretty much working and sitting in a flat on his own. He's lonely and has been struggling to buy fresh food, although I spoke to him late last night and he said he's managing to buy things again now. My Mam struggled a lot with loneliness last year after the death of my Dad. She'd just got into a nice routine of volunteer work and social groups, but they've all been cancelled now, so she's stuck in the house on her own. I usually see both at least once a week and we'd usually do family stuff together over Easter weekend.

Struggling with being stuck in the house on complete lock down as I'm extremely vulnerable so I'm missing dog walks and running, Bob is on end of life care for lymphoma, struggling to get home deliveries for food then when it arrives several things are out of stock and missing, worried about finances long term, my crohn's is playing up, getting a lot of back and hip pain as my mattress is broken, my usual meds are out of stock so I've been put on alternative ones that are not as good at controlling things. Should have been in Iceland last week but that all got cancelled.

Yesterday Bob was poorly with sickness and diarrhea. Jack fell over chasing a ball and injured his shoulder and lost a tooth. Both dogs were sitting looking sorry for themselves. The oven door seal split so I've had to order a new one. Just lots of little things like that. It's really hard at the moment :(
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Oh Becs I wish I could think of something to say that would make it better . Just hang on in there pet , some days are definitely much tougher than others to deal with xx
 
General acceptance seems to have kicked in for me, last week and a half I've found it alot better. If exercise gets knocked on the head then it would be a struggle mind.
 
Anyone with anxiety Id suggest not watching Contagion on netflix.

We did that last night, what the feck were we thinking:lol:
Looks more like a documentary now!
 
Ive been a bit stressed about everything as I have a genetic lung condition called a1at deficiency and I wasn’t classed as vulnerable strangely. I was meant to be going to see a chest specialist this month which got cancelled as I blew terribly on my last lung function test for my age (I’m 28)

Can’t really take time off work due to not being vulnerable and I’m agency anyways. Have bills to pay which I can’t pay otherwise.

It’s been quite tough mentally but I’m starting to come to terms with it. There’s a good chance I will catch it but I’m hoping I will be ok even if I do since I do have youth on my side regardless of the health issues.

Been trying to keep off the drink and trying to eat well and exercise as much as possible. I’m still doing my own shopping and stuff when I could probably get someone else to do it as I just feel like being scared isn’t the right attitude for me to take right now. Obviously being careful and stuff when I’m out and only going for essentials.

Bit of a pointless post really but it’s nice to get things off your chest to strangers which you don’t necessarily want to bother your family and friends with.
 
I didn't know which thread to put this on so I will add it to both mental health threads on the coronavirus sub-forum.

I am a qualified counsellor and a Psychological Well-being Practitioner in the NHS. I messaged @Roger the other day about an idea to further support those on this forum. This community has been a major source of entertainment/support for me over the years, so, I'm more than happy to give something back.

Roger and I have discussed a couple of ideas regarding mental health support. They are as follows:

Group Zoom - a group of eight where we can share any tools that help with mental health or just a place to vent. At the NHS, we have been provided with some materials/support that I would happily share.

Chat room - Roger has said that it is possible to add a chat room to this site and thus, we could use it for mental health support.

If people think that one of these ideas would be of benefit then we can get it started. Or, if the current threads and board in general provide enough support, then that's fine too. If one of the ideas was launched, I thought we could do it at 3 PM on a Saturday afternoon. As that is the time that brings us all together ordinarily.

Also, if there are any frontline NHS workers on here, I provide free online group therapy at Friday, 5 PM (groups of 4).

Thanks for reading.
 
Anything that helps people is a good idea. If there's anything I can do to help out, I'd be happy to. I'm not a professional but I'm good at listening and getting people to talk about stuff.
 
Uromastyx said:
I didn't know which thread to put this on so I will add it to both mental health threads on the coronavirus sub-forum.

I am a qualified counsellor and a Psychological Well-being Practitioner in the NHS. I messaged @Roger the other day about an idea to further support those on this forum. This community has been a major source of entertainment/support for me over the years, so, I'm more than happy to give something back.

Roger and I have discussed a couple of ideas regarding mental health support. They are as follows:

Group Zoom - a group of eight where we can share any tools that help with mental health or just a place to vent. At the NHS, we have been provided with some materials/support that I would happily share.

Chat room - Roger has said that it is possible to add a chat room to this site and thus, we could use it for mental health support.

If people think that one of these ideas would be of benefit then we can get it started. Or, if the current threads and board in general provide enough support, then that's fine too. If one of the ideas was launched, I thought we could do it at 3 PM on a Saturday afternoon. As that is the time that brings us all together ordinarily.

Also, if there are any frontline NHS workers on here, I provide free online group therapy at Friday, 5 PM (groups of 4).

Thanks for reading.
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Well done the both of you. If it helps even one person then its worth it.
 
Utterly shit day yesterday. I know my problems are nowt. I have no one close to me dying or anything like that but the whole weekend cooped up with the kids and then yesterday I had them alone with missus at work and I just couldn't get any work done. Getting pressure on some stuff but made absolutely zero progress. If I try to escape up to the office I'll come down to f***ing devastation so I try to supervise and can't concentrate. Impossible to focus on anything and I can feel the anxiety back now. A little better today as missus is home so I'm upstairs but still a constant noise from the kids, the wife and even the neighbour's DIY is annoying me now. I'm actually longing for my shitty office in the Team Valley.

I've got to do me Mams shopping tonight and that is going to be f***ing great. Some time on me own.
 
Bob Fleming said:
Utterly shit day yesterday. I know my problems are nowt. I have no one close to me dying or anything like that but the whole weekend cooped up with the kids and then yesterday I had them alone with missus at work and I just couldn't get any work done. Getting pressure on some stuff but made absolutely zero progress. If I try to escape up to the office I'll come down to f***ing devastation so I try to supervise and can't concentrate. Impossible to focus on anything and I can feel the anxiety back now. A little better today as missus is home so I'm upstairs but still a constant noise from the kids, the wife and even the neighbour's DIY is annoying me now. I'm actually longing for my shitty office in the Team Valley.

I've got to do me Mams shopping tonight and that is going to be f***ing great. Some time on me own.
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Don't compare yourself to others. They're your problems and they're real to you and bothering you. I hate it when people dismiss things and say you could be worse off. It's as if your problems don't matter, when really they do matter!

It is hard all being cooped up and it's normal to get irritated as you can't get your work done. Can you go for a walk to clear your head? It's lovely and sunny out there right now and a walk on your own will do you some good. Keep going and it will get better when all the restrictions are lifted. Look after yourself 😘
 
becs said:
Don't compare yourself to others. They're your problems and they're real to you and bothering you. I hate it when people dismiss things and say you could be worse off. It's as if your problems don't matter, when really they do matter!

It is hard all being cooped up and it's normal to get irritated as you can't get your work done. Can you go for a walk to clear your head? It's lovely and sunny out there right now and a walk on your own will do you some good. Keep going and it will get better when all the restrictions are lifted. Look after yourself 😘
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Thanks Becs. I had intended getting up with the larks this morning to go for a walk on my own but hadn't got to sleep till gone 1am so didn't. I've some work I need to get done today and will take kids out around the park for their exercise which is nice enough. Shopping on me own will be canny too.

I'll get up early for a walk one of these days.
 
Bob Fleming said:
Utterly shit day yesterday. I know my problems are nowt. I have no one close to me dying or anything like that but the whole weekend cooped up with the kids and then yesterday I had them alone with missus at work and I just couldn't get any work done. Getting pressure on some stuff but made absolutely zero progress. If I try to escape up to the office I'll come down to f***ing devastation so I try to supervise and can't concentrate. Impossible to focus on anything and I can feel the anxiety back now. A little better today as missus is home so I'm upstairs but still a constant noise from the kids, the wife and even the neighbour's DIY is annoying me now. I'm actually longing for my shitty office in the Team Valley.

I've got to do me Mams shopping tonight and that is going to be f***ing great. Some time on me own.
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Re the noise, could you wear some headphones with some background music playing through them? When I say background I mean music you know well so in a funny sort of way you don't listen to it but it will block out the sounds disturbing you and may help you to concentrate.
 
becs said:
Anything that helps people is a good idea. If there's anything I can do to help out, I'd be happy to. I'm not a professional but I'm good at listening and getting people to talk about stuff.
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Just keep posting pics of your tits becs, really cheers me up.
 
I’m struggling today like, the 3 week announcement tipped me ower. I dread to think what I’ll be like if they extend it again :(
 
Bigfoot said:
I’m struggling today like, the 3 week announcement tipped me ower. I dread to think what I’ll be like if they extend it again :(
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Try not to look that far ahead. I literally try to plan for the day, with a list of jobs and things to keep me occupied and I tick them off as I do them to give me a sense of achievement. Live in the now and try not to look too far forward. Best wishes.
 
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