Meeting new friend's

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peachbum said:
Can you get the boys to stay with you?

Volunteer.

Have you got time free to go travelling?

You could go overlanding. Most on these are single, build up some new friends that way?

Are there sports you are interested in - join a club. Find someone to play squash with.

Is the church your thing? They usually have groups of varying kinds.
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If he does join a church group are you going to buy him a book?

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peachbum said:
Can you get the boys to stay with you?

Volunteer.

Have you got time free to go travelling?

You could go overlanding. Most on these are single, build up some new friends that way?

Are there sports you are interested in - join a club. Find someone to play squash with.

Is the church your thing? They usually have groups of varying kinds.
Click to expand...


I get to see my boys mate it's just the loneliness after ... coming home to empty house ... looking at the same four walls daily makes me think I'm going nuts. I've had to pack in work for health reasons I'm 38 and my lungs are gone and now I find myself in a situation like this.
 
NewAdventuresInWiFi said:
Not got much to suggest right now but I know exactly how you feel.
Been in the same boat since April.
You’d think it would be easy to embrace this kind of ‘freedom’ but at times it’s really f***ing hard to see that.
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19yr mate never been apart now come home to empty home .... I thought I'd be ok I was for the the last 3 week then at the weekend when I took the bairns back to her mams it smashed me in the face and gut now I feel lyk shit.
 
Baccyboozenbullets said:
I get to see my boys mate it's just the loneliness after ... coming home to empty house ... looking at the same four walls daily makes me think I'm going nuts. I've had to pack in work for health reasons I'm 38 and my lungs are gone and now I find myself in a situation like this.
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You have to sort something. Can you befriend somebody else, and who knows how things will develop?

Maybe don't be so keen to make friends and just join the world anyway you can, helping others, often brings it's own rewards and if you are lucky, friendship too?
 
peachbum said:
Maybe if you have your children with you you coukd get together with other single dad's and do stuff together. Your children might point you in the right direction here.
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Sensible advice there.
An example would be take the lads to the shooting range at Washington. It's only a little place but the lads will love it and you'll be mixing in a new circle of people. There will be loads of things along those lines.
 
Baccyboozenbullets said:
I get to see my boys mate it's just the loneliness after ... coming home to empty house ... looking at the same four walls daily makes me think I'm going nuts. I've had to pack in work for health reasons I'm 38 and my lungs are gone and now I find myself in a situation like this.
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All joking aside, instead of going out to meet people, I would recommend you spending time taking care of you. You have to take care of yourself first and deal with what you are going through. When you're head is not in the right place, being with a bunch of people is the loneliest place to be.

Maybe take up a hobby or learn a new skill. Maybe work out and exercise (even if you have health problems, you can probably find something that suits your needs).

My best advise to you is to find comfort within yourself. It is easier said than done, I know, but you need to value who your are and not let your value be dictated by others.

There are support groups here in the States and I'm sure they exist there as well, it's not a bad idea to join one so that you can talk with others who are in a similar situation.

My main point here is for you to concentrate on yourself. This is a setback and you will get through it. Don't ever doubt your own strength and potential.
 
Baccyboozenbullets said:
19yr mate never been apart now come home to empty home .... I thought I'd be ok I was for the the last 3 week then at the weekend when I took the bairns back to her mams it smashed me in the face and gut now I feel lyk shit.
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16 years together for me.
And yes, one of the toughest times is handing the bairn(s) back.
My lad stays over at mine once a week/fortnight & last time he did I couldn’t even face his mam to speak to when it came time for him to leave & her pick him up.
And of course she naturally I assumed I was pissed off at her for something & we still haven’t had any contact since.
Hard times.
There’s probably no right or wrong textbook answer on how to deal with this shite.
 
Falconhoof said:
I dont want to sound like Mr doom and gloom but if you think you're starting down the depression route the drink will make you feel worse.
Loads of us on here have been through the same thing mate and I'm sure there's plenty good advice and help on here
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You are talking sense mate as I've been drinking and trust me it's made it worse .... just make it worse ... It's ok a couple but most time it turns to more I've hammered the vodka and it's not helped one bit

Hongkongphooey said:
Get a dog mate, you’ll have a friend for life
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I've got one but the boys just asked to take him .... what could I say NO! I've had to let him go over there with them it was the right thing to do even if I hated that I had to do it.
 
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Ah, the wanking 24/7 novelty has wore off. I’m work nomad, so use this place as a portal to have the odd chat, vent etc. when I do get long enough in one place, I join clubs or the like. At present in a small coastal town in Sarawak, but hav joined the badminton club and go the gym, enough to have some contact and chat with others. I always move on, so don’t get too involved, but you’ll be staying put, so easier to invest your time more.
 
Baccyboozenbullets said:
You are talking sense mate as I've been drinking and trust me it's made it worse .... just make it worse ... It's ok a couple but most time it turns to more I've hammered the vodka and it's not helped one bit



I've got one but the boys just asked to take him .... what could I say NO! I've had to let him go over there with them it was the right thing to do even if I hated that I had to do it.
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Stay off the booze mate, that’s a slippery slope you don’t want to go down
 
NewAdventuresInWiFi said:
16 years together for me.
And yes, one of the toughest times is handing the bairn(s) back.
My lad stays over at mine once a week/fortnight & last time he did I couldn’t even face his mam to speak to when it came time for him to leave & her pick him up.
And of course she naturally I assumed I was pissed off at her for something & we still haven’t had any contact since.
Hard times.
There’s probably no right or wrong textbook answer on how to deal with this shite.
Click to expand...

Since they went I've rang her once and got no answer. I talk to the lads everyday or txt and when I take them out I just can turn up a beep outside and I can take them out .... It's strange mate because the lads are saying me sometimes it's mam who asked us to ring and see how you are but then she won't even ring herself or anything why have the boys do that does she not think they going through enough I've not spoken to them about it I'm trying to keep there mind off what's happening

The Lonious Monk said:
All joking aside, instead of going out to meet people, I would recommend you spending time taking care of you. You have to take care of yourself first and deal with what you are going through. When you're head is not in the right place, being with a bunch of people is the loneliest place to be.

Maybe take up a hobby or learn a new skill. Maybe work out and exercise (even if you have health problems, you can probably find something that suits your needs).

My best advise to you is to find comfort within yourself. It is easier said than done, I know, but you need to value who your are and not let your value be dictated by others.

There are support groups here in the States and I'm sure they exist there as well, it's not a bad idea to join one so that you can talk with others who are in a similar situation.

My main point here is for you to concentrate on yourself. This is a setback and you will get through it. Don't ever doubt your own strength and potential.
Click to expand...


Some good advice mate thanks
 
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Slow joe said:
I'm in same boat as op except back at my mam and dad's. It's very hard and I've just found out she may have a new boyfriend. I'd be your mate but I'm a bit too far away.
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This is basically me right now at 37, thankfully I get to see my daughter quite a bit.
To the op have you tried online dating, everyone does it now and will get you chatting to new people online.
It's what I did, I was talking to about 7 lasses and had a few dates/shags, it certainly takes the sting out of the situation.
 
DurhamRedStripe said:
This is basically me right now at 37, thankfully I get to see my daughter quite a bit.
To the op have you tried online dating, everyone does it now and will get you chatting to new people online.
It's what I did, I was talking to about 7 lasses and had a few dates/shags, it certainly takes the sting out of the situation.
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What sites do you visit? Any recommendations.... to be honest I don't give a shit about a shag I just want a bit company people to talk to ... the silence is deafening at home sounds sad pardon the pun but I'm lonely
 
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