Hotel Nightmares (well gripes)

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Another one for sockets and lights.

Especially the lights where you have to put the key card in and then there's about 5 switches.

Fuck off man I don't get home and have to stick my apartment keys in a little slot before I can turn my lights on. A slot I can't find because its f***ing dark because I can't turn the f***ing light on !!!!

rokerexile said:
The worst place I've ever stayed in was an 'Easy' Hotel in Luton en route to Aberdeen. Run by Easyjet it was an orange cocoon with one window about 7 feet up. It had a (small) television with a remote control that you had to pay a fiver on top of the fifty odd quid for the room for the code to make it work and the whole experience was like an exercise in sensory deprivation. Honestly, it was the worst overnight experience I've ever encountered. Luton is a shithole and not particularly safe but I would rather sleep on a park bench than go through that again!
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When the snow was bad I was going to stay in the one in Newcastle. They said it was £10 for a single room or £20 if I wanted a window........

I went somewhere else
 
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Lived in hotels and rented accommodation for 20 years. and I've been in some reet shitholes, lived in a two bit short time knocking shop of a hotel in central Vietnam for over a year as an example. Anyway, since i don't watch TV, its got to have WIFI (Nearly all do in Asia), but if it's on the blink, I go full rage monster. Lights, not the mood thing, the fact i have 10 plus switches around the room, but not one of them turns the lamp off in the corner, or above the bed. To the point the direct lead to wall gets ripped out, or I unscrew the fuckers with me grundies.

Reminds me of the battle of halfwits in HCMC, the room wall clock tick was loud so couldn't sleep (even pissed), taken off the wall and battery removed. Next day, back on wall with battery back in, again back off, battery out thinking they get the hint. Hint not taken, back off the wall, battery hidden, back from work, back on wall, new battery, repeat for several days. Wall clock eventually goes out the window into the street into pieces, strange looks on way to work in the morning, returned a f***ing new clock on the f***ing wall. Down to reception (Again), the clock goes or me, luckily their daughter was in, who spoke perfect English, the clock was then no more.
 
Sidewinder2 said:
Another one for sockets and lights.

Especially the lights where you have to put the key card in and then there's about 5 switches.

Fuck off man I don't get home and have to stick my apartment keys in a little slot before I can turn my lights on. A slot I can't find because its f***ing dark because I can't turn the f***ing light on !!!!



When the snow was bad I was going to stay in the one in Newcastle. They said it was £10 for a single room or £20 if I wanted a window........

I went somewhere else
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Wise move.
 
When I lived in Korea, the heat during the summer meant you had to have the air con blasting, however, all I wanted was hotel air con that works without sounding like a jumbo taking off or one that doesn’t suck every drop of moisture out of you. And not in a good way.
 
natinnam said:
Lived in hotels and rented accommodation for 20 years. and I've been in some reet shitholes, lived in a two bit short time knocking shop of a hotel in central Vietnam for over a year as an example. Anyway, since i don't watch TV, its got to have WIFI (Nearly all do in Asia), but if it's on the blink, I go full rage monster. Lights, not the mood thing, the fact i have 10 plus switches around the room, but not one of them turns the lamp off in the corner, or above the bed. To the point the direct lead to wall gets ripped out, or I unscrew the fuckers with me grundies.

Reminds me of the battle of halfwits in HCMC, the room wall clock tick was loud so couldn't sleep (even pissed), taken off the wall and battery removed. Next day, back on wall with battery back in, again back off, battery out thinking they get the hint. Hint not taken, back off the wall, battery hidden, back from work, back on wall, new battery, repeat for several days. Wall clock eventually goes out the window into the street into pieces, strange looks on way to work in the morning, returned a f***ing new clock on the f***ing wall. Down to reception (Again), the clock goes or me, luckily their daughter was in, who spoke perfect English, the clock was then no more.
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Should have abandoned sleeping and gone to Apo. What a place.
 
Schmarrnbeppi said:
Should have abandoned sleeping and gone to Apo. What a place.
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I use to go the Hanoi Apo in 2000, the original one, with Huey turntable booth and GI helmets as pool table shades, was there every weekend for around 2 years, till it moved and went shit. My HCMC apartment in 2008 was just round the corner from the Apo there, went plenty of times, had some good nights, but never lived up to the original Hanoi one.
 
What a good thread

My pet hate is those minibars which the penny pinching fuckers have gone to monumental effort to have them weighted or put f***ing laser beams in them or something so if you remove them to cool a bottle of water you’ve paid less than £4 for, they charge you.

Shit WiFi - never an issue in America or Europe, only the UK

And one power socket on the far side of the room in which to charge three devices
 
natinnam said:
I use to go the Hanoi Apo in 2000, the original one, with Huey turntable booth and GI helmets as pool table shades, was there every weekend for around 2 years, till it moved and went shit. My HCMC apartment in 2008 was just round the corner from the Apo there, went plenty of times, had some good nights, but never lived up to the original Hanoi one.
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Got taken by some locals and expats to HCMC one. Madness. I think it was Wednesday night and it was heaving. Couldn't move around. Was then asked if I wanted women with my vodka. :lol:. Sat in the courtyard drinking whilst watching the rats scurry behind the bbq :eek:
 
George Kaplan said:
We-ell. I kinda like a decent wet room. You can perform a number of functions utilising the same facility and I’m led to believe, by this board, that the presence of the occasional family pet can add that extra frisson.
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Have a shite while washing the dog?
 
I stayed at a hotel in Edinburgh, the kettle was on a unit at one side of the room and the only accessible socket was on the other side of the room, the wire wasn't long enough to reach the floor so had to create some sort of luggage bench for the kettle for my morning hungover tea......it gave me mental anguish to this day :cry:
 
check in - what the fuck are they hammering away at for 20 minutes?

and why is it a surprise that people want to check in between 5-6 ?

have you stayed here before ? just say yes... cuts out all the bollocks that invariably follows
 
chunkylover53 said:
Working how to turn off the bastard lights
Places with shit WiFi or WiFi you have to pay for
Any bed with more than 4 pillows
Walking into a room and the tv is on with a welcome message, piss off man
Not having an ironing board. It’s 2018 you plebs
The water glasses that can contain enough water for a small cat
Hotel bars that absolutely take the piss on price. I want a beer not a hooker
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The one I have to stay in when I go to Germany with work not only has a welcome message, it plays some shitty song with a lyric of "This is the first day of the rest of your life" over and over again. I'm like Usain Bolt getting from the door to the tv remote to switch the fucker off.
 
When they say they have tea and coffee making facilities but it is hidden away somewhere, so you end up going around the room like a game of through the keyhole trying to find the f***ing tray!
 
Plugs that aren’t near the bed
Lighting so poor so you can barely see
Automated check in
Minging bathrooms.

They are my gripes but then I could just be describing the Travelodge - lived in the Covent Garden one for 6 months :lol:
 
some device with a really bright light on that they borrow from Blackpool Illuminations 11 months of the year

or a gap under the door that Stan Cummins could walk under allowing the light from the corridor in
 
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