Hotel Nightmares (well gripes)

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Deleted member 14766

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I travel far too much for work and stay in hotels.

There are numerous things that bug the fuck out of me regarding a night at her average ‘business’ hotel:

• the modern propensity for ‘informality’ at check in. I want somebody in a uniform BEHIND a counter to say ‘good evening sir’ and deal with me efficiently. I’m knackered. I just want my key. I DON’T want a 15 year old casually dressed hipster with a lanyard standing at a workstation in FRONT of the counter showing me how to log in and create my own key card whilst saying ‘you guys’ to the people who came in after me.
• room service. I’m knackered. I don’t want to spend the entire evening staring into space in your shite restaurant so please at least get my order correct when I eat in my room so I don’t have to keep calling for cutlery or my missing coke. It’s bad enough I have to eat burger or pizza every night coz your menu is crap but at least give me the burger or pizza I actually ordered.
• clean the room
• can I have some LIGHT please. All this strategically positioned mood spot-lighting may be fab for creating that romantic feel but I can’t f***ing SEE anything. Is it coz the light would demonstrate that you’d failed to achieve the bullet point above this one.
• I f***ing KNOW what a buffet breakfast is. I can see what’s on the counter. I don’t need it described in detail and escorting to a table like you are escorting every single individual customer to a table after checking their name and room number which just results in every single individual customer standing waiting for you to come back from showing the previous customer to a table that you could have just POINTED AT!
• It’s too hot.
• it’s too cold
• Those bottles of shampoo that you fix to the wall so people don’t fuck off with the little bottles are all very well. But maybe they could be better designed so you don’t have to be so manually dexterous to get a smidgeon of soap on the tip of your finger whilst you try not to soak the whole floor with a shower head that won’t stay on the wall.


Any more?

The biggest gripe for me is LIGHT. But I’m visually impaired (to a degree) so it’s a bugger for me.

PS : TLDR
 


I travel far too much for work and stay in hotels.

There are numerous things that bug the fuck out of me regarding a night at her average ‘business’ hotel:

• the modern propensity for ‘informality’ at check in. I want somebody in a uniform BEHIND a counter to say ‘good evening sir’ and deal with me efficiently. I’m knackered. I just want my key. I DON’T want a 15 year old casually dressed hipster with a lanyard standing at a workstation in FRONT of the counter showing me how to log in and create my own key card whilst saying ‘you guys’ to the people who came in after me.
• room service. I’m knackered. I don’t want to spend the entire evening staring into space in your shite restaurant so please at least get my order correct when I eat in my room so I don’t have to keep calling for cutlery or my missing coke. It’s bad enough I have to eat burger or pizza every night coz your menu is crap but at least give me the burger or pizza I actually ordered.
• clean the room
• can I have some LIGHT please. All this strategically positioned mood spot-lighting may be fab for creating that romantic feel but I can’t f***ing SEE anything. Is it coz the light would demonstrate that you’d failed to achieve the bullet point above this one.
• I f***ing KNOW what a buffet breakfast is. I can see what’s on the counter. I don’t need it described in detail and escorting to a table like you are escorting every single individual customer to a table after checking their name and room number which just results in every single individual customer standing waiting for you to come back from showing the previous customer to a table that you could have just POINTED AT!
• It’s too hot.
• it’s too cold
• Those bottles of shampoo that you fix to the wall so people don’t fuck off with the little bottles are all very well. But maybe they could be better designed so you don’t have to be so manually dexterous to get a smidgeon of soap on the tip of your finger whilst you try not to soak the whole floor with a shower head that won’t stay on the wall.


Any more?

The biggest gripe for me is LIGHT. But I’m visually impaired (to a degree) so it’s a bugger for me.

PS : TLDR

Try Jeans Guest House next time, you'll get none of that;)
 
Working how to turn off the bastard lights
Places with shit WiFi or WiFi you have to pay for
Any bed with more than 4 pillows
Walking into a room and the tv is on with a welcome message, piss off man
Not having an ironing board. It’s 2018 you plebs
The water glasses that can contain enough water for a small cat
Hotel bars that absolutely take the piss on price. I want a beer not a hooker
 
I travel far too much for work and stay in hotels.

There are numerous things that bug the fuck out of me regarding a night at her average ‘business’ hotel:

• the modern propensity for ‘informality’ at check in. I want somebody in a uniform BEHIND a counter to say ‘good evening sir’ and deal with me efficiently. I’m knackered. I just want my key. I DON’T want a 15 year old casually dressed hipster with a lanyard standing at a workstation in FRONT of the counter showing me how to log in and create my own key card whilst saying ‘you guys’ to the people who came in after me.
• room service. I’m knackered. I don’t want to spend the entire evening staring into space in your shite restaurant so please at least get my order correct when I eat in my room so I don’t have to keep calling for cutlery or my missing coke. It’s bad enough I have to eat burger or pizza every night coz your menu is crap but at least give me the burger or pizza I actually ordered.
• clean the room
• can I have some LIGHT please. All this strategically positioned mood spot-lighting may be fab for creating that romantic feel but I can’t f***ing SEE anything. Is it coz the light would demonstrate that you’d failed to achieve the bullet point above this one.
• I f***ing KNOW what a buffet breakfast is. I can see what’s on the counter. I don’t need it described in detail and escorting to a table like you are escorting every single individual customer to a table after checking their name and room number which just results in every single individual customer standing waiting for you to come back from showing the previous customer to a table that you could have just POINTED AT!
• It’s too hot.
• it’s too cold
• Those bottles of shampoo that you fix to the wall so people don’t fuck off with the little bottles are all very well. But maybe they could be better designed so you don’t have to be so manually dexterous to get a smidgeon of soap on the tip of your finger whilst you try not to soak the whole floor with a shower head that won’t stay on the wall.


Any more?

The biggest gripe for me is LIGHT. But I’m visually impaired (to a degree) so it’s a bugger for me.

PS : TLDR
I've done a bit traveling for work over the years, and recognise a lot of that..

When did "a big light" stop being a thing?
 
Try Jeans Guest House next time, you'll get none of that;)

Corporate restrictions. That’s another gripe. I could stay in nicer and cheaper B&Bs but I have to go through the system.

Places with shit WiFi

Meaning that porn is much more difficult to access?

Walking into a room and the tv is on with a welcome message, piss off man

Having to go through 15 f***ing options to get to bastard BBC 1

When did "a big light" stop being a thing?

Pre-f***ing-zactly.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Glass sided shower walls where the shower wall adjoins the bedroom. Like some kind of creepy perv window.

Not business hotels ... but I’ve stayed in places of the ‘boutique’ variety with Mrs Kaplan (no) with the ‘open plan’ type bathtub in the bedroom arrangements - which is fine and dandy in many ways (heh heh) But when the shitter is also in the corner with no door... fuck off.
 
I always avoid Premier Inn where possible. I really dislike them.

Ironing facilities is the big one for me.

Then plug sockets. (Or lack of).
 

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