Hotel Nightmares (well gripes)

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I used to spend 3 or 4 nights away during the week for just over 3 years. I booked my own digs and rarely had many gripes. Express by Holiday Inn was first point of call, followed by Premier Inn, the odd other better chain and then independents.

I used to like digs with a proper pub attached if possible so I could have a pint or 2 along with a meal.

The worst places I stayed were in St Helens during Grand National week. Digs were at a premium and I had to stay at a Travelodge. Woeful it was. No remote control for the telly (despite asking) very ill fitting windows and right next to the East Lancs Road. I have poor hearing and I'm not a light sleeper but it was f***ing murder trying to get some kip.

The other was a Travelodge in Llanelli. It was a f***ing dreary dump next to a little chef. No redeaming features. I'm not really a fan of Travelodges, especially the old style 2 story shitholes at services.
 
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MackemBob said:
Glass sided shower walls where the shower wall adjoins the bedroom. Like some kind of creepy perv window.
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Mind this is very weird, particularly if you’re on a stag do and you don’t know the bloke you’re sharing with that well.

Love them when it’s me and the missus away together mind.

Only thing I hate about hotel rooms is the middle of the night piss/disorientation of trying to find the bathroom door. Many a drunken night I’ve stumbled out of the room only to have to go to reception to let me back in.

I’m a nightmare drinking mind....
 
Lights for me also. I also like to plug a fire stick in or hdmi leads Andy hate it when you can’t change source.
 
George Kaplan said:
I travel far too much for work and stay in hotels.

There are numerous things that bug the fuck out of me regarding a night at her average ‘business’ hotel:

• the modern propensity for ‘informality’ at check in. I want somebody in a uniform BEHIND a counter to say ‘good evening sir’ and deal with me efficiently. I’m knackered. I just want my key. I DON’T want a 15 year old casually dressed hipster with a lanyard standing at a workstation in FRONT of the counter showing me how to log in and create my own key card whilst saying ‘you guys’ to the people who came in after me.
• room service. I’m knackered. I don’t want to spend the entire evening staring into space in your shite restaurant so please at least get my order correct when I eat in my room so I don’t have to keep calling for cutlery or my missing coke. It’s bad enough I have to eat burger or pizza every night coz your menu is crap but at least give me the burger or pizza I actually ordered.
• clean the room
• can I have some LIGHT please. All this strategically positioned mood spot-lighting may be fab for creating that romantic feel but I can’t f***ing SEE anything. Is it coz the light would demonstrate that you’d failed to achieve the bullet point above this one.
• I f***ing KNOW what a buffet breakfast is. I can see what’s on the counter. I don’t need it described in detail and escorting to a table like you are escorting every single individual customer to a table after checking their name and room number which just results in every single individual customer standing waiting for you to come back from showing the previous customer to a table that you could have just POINTED AT!
• It’s too hot.
• it’s too cold
• Those bottles of shampoo that you fix to the wall so people don’t fuck off with the little bottles are all very well. But maybe they could be better designed so you don’t have to be so manually dexterous to get a smidgeon of soap on the tip of your finger whilst you try not to soak the whole floor with a shower head that won’t stay on the wall.


Any more?

The biggest gripe for me is LIGHT. But I’m visually impaired (to a degree) so it’s a bugger for me.

PS : TLDR
Click to expand...


Village hotel? Hate the bastards. Hilton is by far the best of the chain hotels for getting you checked in and in to your room with no hassle.
 
George Kaplan said:
We-ell. I kinda like a decent wet room. You can perform a number of functions utilising the same facility and I’m led to believe, by this board, that the presence of the occasional family pet can add that extra frisson.
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:lol:
This will always be churned out for years to come
 
George Kaplan said:
I travel far too much for work and stay in hotels.

There are numerous things that bug the fuck out of me regarding a night at her average ‘business’ hotel:

• the modern propensity for ‘informality’ at check in. I want somebody in a uniform BEHIND a counter to say ‘good evening sir’ and deal with me efficiently. I’m knackered. I just want my key. I DON’T want a 15 year old casually dressed hipster with a lanyard standing at a workstation in FRONT of the counter showing me how to log in and create my own key card whilst saying ‘you guys’ to the people who came in after me.
• room service. I’m knackered. I don’t want to spend the entire evening staring into space in your shite restaurant so please at least get my order correct when I eat in my room so I don’t have to keep calling for cutlery or my missing coke. It’s bad enough I have to eat burger or pizza every night coz your menu is crap but at least give me the burger or pizza I actually ordered.
• clean the room
• can I have some LIGHT please. All this strategically positioned mood spot-lighting may be fab for creating that romantic feel but I can’t f***ing SEE anything. Is it coz the light would demonstrate that you’d failed to achieve the bullet point above this one.
• I f***ing KNOW what a buffet breakfast is. I can see what’s on the counter. I don’t need it described in detail and escorting to a table like you are escorting every single individual customer to a table after checking their name and room number which just results in every single individual customer standing waiting for you to come back from showing the previous customer to a table that you could have just POINTED AT!
• It’s too hot.
• it’s too cold
• Those bottles of shampoo that you fix to the wall so people don’t fuck off with the little bottles are all very well. But maybe they could be better designed so you don’t have to be so manually dexterous to get a smidgeon of soap on the tip of your finger whilst you try not to soak the whole floor with a shower head that won’t stay on the wall.


Any more?

The biggest gripe for me is LIGHT. But I’m visually impaired (to a degree) so it’s a bugger for me.

PS : TLDR
Click to expand...

Ellington hotel in Leeds. Firstly the soppy hipster prick behind the counter gave me directions to the restaurant but didn't bother to mention it was f***ing closed for refurbishment. Secondly, 76 cherry tomatoes in a Caesar salad is 76 too many you little shitwhisk. Thirdly, your trendy exposed-brick Heath Robinson shower with 12 different handles and nozzles, none of which turn the f***ing water on, can also fuck off, you wax moustached, sockless, earlobe-expanding earringed TWAT.
 
George Kaplan said:
I travel far too much for work and stay in hotels.

There are numerous things that bug the fuck out of me regarding a night at her average ‘business’ hotel:

• the modern propensity for ‘informality’ at check in. I want somebody in a uniform BEHIND a counter to say ‘good evening sir’ and deal with me efficiently. I’m knackered. I just want my key. I DON’T want a 15 year old casually dressed hipster with a lanyard standing at a workstation in FRONT of the counter showing me how to log in and create my own key card whilst saying ‘you guys’ to the people who came in after me.
• room service. I’m knackered. I don’t want to spend the entire evening staring into space in your shite restaurant so please at least get my order correct when I eat in my room so I don’t have to keep calling for cutlery or my missing coke. It’s bad enough I have to eat burger or pizza every night coz your menu is crap but at least give me the burger or pizza I actually ordered.
• clean the room
• can I have some LIGHT please. All this strategically positioned mood spot-lighting may be fab for creating that romantic feel but I can’t f***ing SEE anything. Is it coz the light would demonstrate that you’d failed to achieve the bullet point above this one.
• I f***ing KNOW what a buffet breakfast is. I can see what’s on the counter. I don’t need it described in detail and escorting to a table like you are escorting every single individual customer to a table after checking their name and room number which just results in every single individual customer standing waiting for you to come back from showing the previous customer to a table that you could have just POINTED AT!
• It’s too hot.
• it’s too cold
• Those bottles of shampoo that you fix to the wall so people don’t fuck off with the little bottles are all very well. But maybe they could be better designed so you don’t have to be so manually dexterous to get a smidgeon of soap on the tip of your finger whilst you try not to soak the whole floor with a shower head that won’t stay on the wall.


Any more?

The biggest gripe for me is LIGHT. But I’m visually impaired (to a degree) so it’s a bugger for me.

PS : TLDR
Click to expand...

I stay in the same hotel in Southern taiwan when I visit monthly and it is a great hotel apart from the light, you turn every light in the room on and open the curtains and it is still dismal, apart from that the hotel is one of the nicest I have stayed in to the point where the person cleaning the room even sorted and stacked a pocketful of loose change I had dumped on the desk.
 
George Kaplan said:
I travel far too much for work and stay in hotels.

There are numerous things that bug the fuck out of me regarding a night at her average ‘business’ hotel:

• the modern propensity for ‘informality’ at check in. I want somebody in a uniform BEHIND a counter to say ‘good evening sir’ and deal with me efficiently. I’m knackered. I just want my key. I DON’T want a 15 year old casually dressed hipster with a lanyard standing at a workstation in FRONT of the counter showing me how to log in and create my own key card whilst saying ‘you guys’ to the people who came in after me.
• room service. I’m knackered. I don’t want to spend the entire evening staring into space in your shite restaurant so please at least get my order correct when I eat in my room so I don’t have to keep calling for cutlery or my missing coke. It’s bad enough I have to eat burger or pizza every night coz your menu is crap but at least give me the burger or pizza I actually ordered.
• clean the room
• can I have some LIGHT please. All this strategically positioned mood spot-lighting may be fab for creating that romantic feel but I can’t f***ing SEE anything. Is it coz the light would demonstrate that you’d failed to achieve the bullet point above this one.
• I f***ing KNOW what a buffet breakfast is. I can see what’s on the counter. I don’t need it described in detail and escorting to a table like you are escorting every single individual customer to a table after checking their name and room number which just results in every single individual customer standing waiting for you to come back from showing the previous customer to a table that you could have just POINTED AT!
• It’s too hot.
• it’s too cold
• Those bottles of shampoo that you fix to the wall so people don’t fuck off with the little bottles are all very well. But maybe they could be better designed so you don’t have to be so manually dexterous to get a smidgeon of soap on the tip of your finger whilst you try not to soak the whole floor with a shower head that won’t stay on the wall.


Any more?

The biggest gripe for me is LIGHT. But I’m visually impaired (to a degree) so it’s a bugger for me.

PS : TLDR
Click to expand...
:lol: Some rant that
 
Lights for me also, absolutely pathetic in most places. Surely half decent lighting doesn’t cost a fortune.
Are they just miserably mean or simply plumb dumb ?

I often stop off at a budget Ibis near the motorway in Bayonne, only because it’s conveniently situated and breaks my journey in half.
Despite repeated requests they won’t even supply a proper chair in the room.

All there is, is this little plastic box thing, something like a kids toy box, far too low and uncomfortable to sit on for any length of time and where’s the other half meant to sit, on the bloody floor ?
 
The worst place I've ever stayed in was an 'Easy' Hotel in Luton en route to Aberdeen. Run by Easyjet it was an orange cocoon with one window about 7 feet up. It had a (small) television with a remote control that you had to pay a fiver on top of the fifty odd quid for the room for the code to make it work and the whole experience was like an exercise in sensory deprivation. Honestly, it was the worst overnight experience I've ever encountered. Luton is a shithole and not particularly safe but I would rather sleep on a park bench than go through that again!
 
Sounds like a nightmare. I’ve stayed in Airbnbs for the past six years.

The only time I’ve bothered with a hotel in that time it was 5 star and I had no bother.

Upgrade imo.
 
I recently stayed in a Travelodge in Portsmouth where I was greeted cheerily but respectfully by the keeper of the keys for want of a better description. It was clean, comfortable and well equipped and had a Toby Carvery attached which served good beer and fine food in enormous quantities to enormous people who were obviously regular customers devoted only to making me feel better about myself. Some of the plates Red Rum couldn't have jumped over! A pleasant experience nevertheless so I would suggest that all Travelodges are not created equal.
 
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