Ex-wife

Sossidge Rerls said:
I give mine £600 a month for my two boys which is the CSA calculated amount, I also go halves on things like swimming lessons, school trips, tutor for the eldest etc. My mam also buys their school uniforms and other bits and pieces. But the lads still go around looking like clips. She has another two younger kids and has just bought another new car and I've no doubt that's where the money goes, but nowt you can do.
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that must be so annoying
 


royalmush83 said:
Surely he can say “fuck off, I’ve just finished work and I’m going to sleep.”
Then go and pick he’s bairn up at the agreed time.
If not then that’s what needs to happen.
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That's what I told him to do but he has no formal arrangements in place - I keep telling him he needs to sort it out but he reckons as soon as he broaches the subject she kicks off and threatens to not let him see the bairn.

He basically bends over backwards to make sure he gets to see his daughter regularly. His ex has got him over a barrel and knows it. She uses this to manipulate him to suit her purposes.

She's essentially a spoilt, bone-idle little b***h who uses the bairn as an excuse to get him to run around after her.
 
Thanks for your wise counsel SMB. I feel re-calibrated now.

Responding to a few comments:

Photos of Ex, no, sorry.

I'll be paying for the skiing trip, no problem with that, it just feels like she's taking the piss. I just need to wind my neck in and get over that. Only for another 18 months, £9k, then the nonsense stops.
Yes I'm subsidising her lifestyle, but hey ho, he can see what is happening I'll support whatever decision he wants when he chooses what his next life choice is.

He has a weekend job as a waiter at a wedding venue, loves it, but I reckon that is money he's earned, he chooses how to spend it.

I also pay his mobile rental and his gym membership.

He already has plenty skiing clobber. Me and him will be having our annual long weekend in Alps come February.

Thanks again, this is a great place for letting off steam and keeping things in perspective.
 
My ex. lives in our/my previous home for free and gets 3000k tax free from me every month. Can I get the occasional BJ when around? Of course not.

Took the dog as well.
 
Jap Stammer said:
That's what I told him to do but he has no formal arrangements in place - I keep telling him he needs to sort it out but he reckons as soon as he broaches the subject she kicks off and threatens to not let him see the bairn.

He basically bends over backwards to make sure he gets to see his daughter regularly. His ex has got him over a barrel and knows it. She uses this to manipulate him to suit her purposes.

She's essentially a spoilt, bone-idle little b***h who uses the bairn as an excuse to get him to run around after her.
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Easy for me to say but he needs to get it nipped in the bud. He’ll end up stressed to fuck and potentially depressed living like that.
Be better for him AND the bairn if he goes through the proper channels. If that means missing out on having contact temporarily, he needn’t feel guilty. He’s still doing he’s bit so long as he’s coughing up.
She sounds like a piss taker, and she’ll do it as long as she gets away with it.
 
Slatz63 said:
She's doing my head in.

Tried to keep it civilised for sake of my lad. He'll be finished secondary next year when all the madness can stop.

Latest is he's brought a letter home from college about a ski trip. Great value and a great opportunity for him. She's kicked off saying he should pay for it himself.

Her logic is:
She gives him £120 a month and from that he has to buy his own clothes, haircuts, nights out and teenager stuff. She reckons he can pay for his own ski trip.

I've asked her what happens to the rest of the money I give her every month (£500). She says that's what she's needs to look after him.

Is she taking the piss or am I out of touch with how much it costs to feed a 17 year old?
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when you first joined the forum in 2003 I bet you didn't think you would be posting this in 2018. Ex seems like a cow. Wad.
 
Slatz63 said:
Thanks for your wise counsel SMB. I feel re-calibrated now.

Responding to a few comments:

Photos of Ex, no, sorry.

I'll be paying for the skiing trip, no problem with that, it just feels like she's taking the piss. I just need to wind my neck in and get over that. Only for another 18 months, £9k, then the nonsense stops.
Yes I'm subsidising her lifestyle, but hey ho, he can see what is happening I'll support whatever decision he wants when he chooses what his next life choice is.

He has a weekend job as a waiter at a wedding venue, loves it, but I reckon that is money he's earned, he chooses how to spend it.

I also pay his mobile rental and his gym membership.

He already has plenty skiing clobber. Me and him will be having our annual long weekend in Alps come February.

Thanks again, this is a great place for letting off steam and keeping things in perspective.
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Where does the £500 a week figure come from that you pay your ex?
 
cornish mackem said:
How much does it cost to put the roof over his head? It’s not just about food and ski trips is it?
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rent/mortgage gas and electricity sky etc fair enough but you would expect the other partner to put in 500 also

trying to put it simple;

Rent/Mortgage - say £500 a month 50/50 split, £250 each for mam and kid,but then you would factor in that both parents are paying for the kid so the kids cost are split further so ends up 375 mam 125 kid

Then you have to look at the fact that some of her costs she has to pay. eg if gas/electricity is 100 a month based on a 50/50 split between mother and kid that's £50 each, but then you would factor in that both parents are paying for the kid so the kids cost are split further, out of the £50 £25 is paid by dad and £25 is mams responsibility...total Mam will pay £75 and the kid/dad £25

Mam doesn't chip in for dads bills so it cant be expect for dad to chip in for mams bills

Also a single parent you would expect some kind of benefits will be coming in?
 

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