Depression

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Rhubarb said:
That story went around a fair few times. Same pike must of killed hundred jack russell dogs haha.

used to love the place as a bairn. Might go and fish it again just for nostalgic reasons. You still love local to the area?
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Great for the soul to go back and fish the places you did as a kid.
I am raking out a pond tonight in a farmers field.
Few pike in there and caught 5 last season and released them in the main river that feeds it.
 
Parkmaverick said:
Haven't been on for a while feeling quite good at the moment - moved out of flat I'd jumped into and bought a house on the outskirts of Durham. Its 110 year old terrace and quite enjoying doing it up just a pain getting people in to do some of the work. Garden looks good and I'm a dedicated planet murderer so that has surprissed me. Things opening up have helped however one of the nights out was to drink to @The Voice Of Reason (Ted Hodgkiss) who passed away in October and we hadn't managed to get together since then. Signed up to do Jeff Stellings walk for prostrate cancer which was what killed Ted. Working from home is certainly a lot easier when there is sunshine and a nice garden to look at. Keep on keeping on everyone and try and look for the positives I know its not easy.
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Been wondering how you were doing mate after your shit circumstances. Had a troubled 12 month myself but yours sounded horific. Lets have a couple of pints in the sun one day!? (Fellow smbers welcome)!.
SPUFF said:
Been wondering how you were doing mate after your shit circumstances. Had a troubled 12 month myself but yours sounded horific. Lets have a couple of pints in the sun one day!? (Fellow smbers welcome)!.
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Also I have some very good cheap contacts if you list the sort of graft you need.
 
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Parkmaverick said:
Haven't been on for a while feeling quite good at the moment - moved out of flat I'd jumped into and bought a house on the outskirts of Durham. Its 110 year old terrace and quite enjoying doing it up just a pain getting people in to do some of the work. Garden looks good and I'm a dedicated planet murderer so that has surprissed me. Things opening up have helped however one of the nights out was to drink to @The Voice Of Reason (Ted Hodgkiss) who passed away in October and we hadn't managed to get together since then. Signed up to do Jeff Stellings walk for prostrate cancer which was what killed Ted. Working from home is certainly a lot easier when there is sunshine and a nice garden to look at. Keep on keeping on everyone and try and look for the positives I know its not easy.
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Excellent post. Glad to hear it.
 
Well I was feeling a bit better.

woke up this morning for work at half five crying and in a right state. Couldn’t tell the difference between real life and things I was thinking.

currently sat waiting on a gp up the rvi as wife rang 111. Feel like shit. Lost the plot for a few hours like which was scary.

hope everyone is feeling good. Love rhubarb. Xx
 
Rhubarb said:
Well I was feeling a bit better.

woke up this morning for work at half five crying and in a right state. Couldn’t tell the difference between real life and things I was thinking.

currently sat waiting on a gp up the rvi as wife rang 111. Feel like shit. Lost the plot for a few hours like which was scary.

hope everyone is feeling good. Love rhubarb. Xx
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Nothing anywhere near as bad but I do often wake up in a panic. Can take hours to shift it. Hope you get on ok.
 
Rhubarb said:
Well I was feeling a bit better.

woke up this morning for work at half five crying and in a right state. Couldn’t tell the difference between real life and things I was thinking.

currently sat waiting on a gp up the rvi as wife rang 111. Feel like shit. Lost the plot for a few hours like which was scary.

hope everyone is feeling good. Love rhubarb. Xx
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I have had a pretty shit year myself but that sounds awful. I hope you're ok and the gp can do something to help you. Big hugs xx
 
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Thankyou folks. I’m home now. Have to stop taking mirtazapine immediately and ring doctors on Monday.

the wife thought I’d lost it. Said I’d been to work with the dog and I actually believed. Then stood crying thinking I was getting took away. Horrible feeling. I’m just tired now. Love rhubarb xx
 
Rhubarb said:
Thankyou folks. I’m home now. Have to stop taking mirtazapine immediately and ring doctors on Monday.

the wife thought I’d lost it. Said I’d been to work with the dog and I actually believed. Then stood crying thinking I was getting took away. Horrible feeling. I’m just tired now. Love rhubarb xx
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Sorry to hear what you've been through today. Take it easy and look after yourself. Sending my love 😘
 
becs said:
Sorry to hear what you've been through today. Take it easy and look after yourself. Sending my love 😘
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Thankyou I’ve just actually laughed cos the wife said I was talking about my old dog Norman even though he’s been dead for years and I believed him and myself had been sleeping in a van.

scary stuff but at least I know it was the tablets and not totally lost it.

hope your well Becs. Xx
 
Rhubarb said:
Thankyou I’ve just actually laughed cos the wife said I was talking about my old dog Norman even though he’s been dead for years and I believed him and myself had been sleeping in a van.

scary stuff but at least I know it was the tablets and not totally lost it.

hope your well Becs. Xx
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He must have been a good dog though if he's still in your thoughts 😎

I'm ok thanks - just plodding on xx
 
becs said:
He must have been a good dog though if he's still in your thoughts 😎

I'm ok thanks - just plodding on xx
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Ah he was a belter. Thankyou for your kind words I’m going to try and have a sleep.

you keep on plodding on Becs. Have a nice day. Love rhubarb xx
 
Parkmaverick said:
Haven't been on for a while feeling quite good at the moment - moved out of flat I'd jumped into and bought a house on the outskirts of Durham. Its 110 year old terrace and quite enjoying doing it up just a pain getting people in to do some of the work. Garden looks good and I'm a dedicated planet murderer so that has surprissed me. Things opening up have helped however one of the nights out was to drink to @The Voice Of Reason (Ted Hodgkiss) who passed away in October and we hadn't managed to get together since then. Signed up to do Jeff Stellings walk for prostrate cancer which was what killed Ted. Working from home is certainly a lot easier when there is sunshine and a nice garden to look at. Keep on keeping on everyone and try and look for the positives I know its not easy.
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Hope you are ok mate, keep going! Great cause with the walk, let me know the link and will donate. I still often think about Ted, an amazing man who I will never forget.
The Hesford Diet said:
How about, instead of a plod, and with the improving weather, we all have a plodge at the seaside, to remind us and send positive vibes to everyone here?
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We should maybe do meet ups from this thread, anyone who needs to chat or go have escapism? That would be cool imo
 
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I've never said this or even though it, but I'm sick of being mentally ill. I've always kind of embraced it as part of me but I'm just finding it so draining and exhausting. I can't sleep, I'm forcing myself to eat, I can't concentrate on anything, I keep crying I just feel done. I didn't get a single minute of sleep last night, I've got a shift later and another f***ing doctors appointment too. I just want to give up, but I can't.
 
TheRey said:
I've never said this or even though it, but I'm sick of being mentally ill. I've always kind of embraced it as part of me but I'm just finding it so draining and exhausting. I can't sleep, I'm forcing myself to eat, I can't concentrate on anything, I keep crying I just feel done. I didn't get a single minute of sleep last night, I've got a shift later and another f***ing doctors appointment too. I just want to give up, but I can't.
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Here what you're saying like. It is exhausting year after year. Some days just a write off and think it may be a better one tomorrow. Not that that's much help. Dunno if a just marked change in the weather has an effect. Lack of sleep makes everything seem 10 times worse
 
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