Depression

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The Rat said:
I tell you what I find hard and weird

I’m at heart a very logical person, its how I work etc and how my mind works

Last few years my thoughts are just illogical but even though I kind of know that they feel logical

That make sense?
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I can identify with this 100%. I consider myself to be logical almost to a fault, on the downside I find myself over-analysing almost everything and always following my head rather than my heart which has ultimately cost me.

I've relapsed lately in to fairly bad depression and anxiety to the point where I'm struggling to get out of bed in the morning, feel sick to my stomach all the time, tired despite having done nothing and reticent to leave the house. I made something of an attempt on my own life around 3 months ago which luckily I backed out of whilst there was still time, I still struggle with suicidal ideations but fortunately no longer have a desire to act on them.

I'm desperately trying to get myself back on escitalopram, after 8 months or more off of it, as it used to be the only one I'd found that I could tolerate; unfortunately it's making me feel a bit out of it every time I take it and I've been unable to stick to it to date.

Hopefully I come out the other side of this in a much better place, at the moment however that seems a long way off and my anxiety has really started to control my life to the point that I feel quite hopeless.
 


AB22 Easy Tiger said:
Get outside, it worked wonders for me.
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This. I got myself a dog. I struggled to get out of bed some days, but the dog makes me get up and get out for a walks, sometimes for hours, just me and my dog and I love it and certainly makes you feel better. It also gives a bit of focus in your life, you have to look after something, feed it, take care of it, play with it, and it gives you unconditional love back which is amazing. It is also great company if you are on your own, something to talk to to air your feeling out loud if people are not there or you dont want to talk to people about your issues. They are hard work but it gives you a focus and your mind off the troubles which circulate around your head. Not for everyone I know, but a god send for me.
 
The Fullwell Step said:
This. I got myself a dog. I struggled to get out of bed some days, but the dog makes me get up and get out for a walks, sometimes for hours, just me and my dog and I love it and certainly makes you feel better. It also gives a bit of focus in your life, you have to look after something, feed it, take care of it, play with it, and it gives you unconditional love back which is amazing. It is also great company if you are on your own, something to talk to to air your feeling out loud if people are not there or you dont want to talk to people about your issues. They are hard work but it gives you a focus and your mind off the troubles which circulate around your head. Not for everyone I know, but a god send for me.
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It certainly does help. Not always easy to get out but forces you to.

I didn't have my own dog but borrowed my parents for 6 weeks when I was poorly. As you say it forced me to get out and being on my own just me and the dog was great therapy.

Poor dog was glad to go home as we walked miles every day.

I also ran quite a bit especially in peaceful places where I would just stop and practice mindfulness for 5 or 10 mins.

Another tip was that Iarranged to meet my wife after her work quite a bit. Luckily she only worked a few miles away so I would run there and we would go home together....
 
LondonBlackCat said:
I can identify with this 100%. I consider myself to be logical almost to a fault, on the downside I find myself over-analysing almost everything and always following my head rather than my heart which has ultimately cost me.

I've relapsed lately in to fairly bad depression and anxiety to the point where I'm struggling to get out of bed in the morning, feel sick to my stomach all the time, tired despite having done nothing and reticent to leave the house. I made something of an attempt on my own life around 3 months ago which luckily I backed out of whilst there was still time, I still struggle with suicidal ideations but fortunately no longer have a desire to act on them.

I'm desperately trying to get myself back on escitalopram, after 8 months or more off of it, as it used to be the only one I'd found that I could tolerate; unfortunately it's making me feel a bit out of it every time I take it and I've been unable to stick to it to date.

Hopefully I come out the other side of this in a much better place, at the moment however that seems a long way off and my anxiety has really started to control my life to the point that I feel quite hopeless.
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Over analyzing 100% identify with you

Really sorry to read that, it’s amazing how many people have this, Know they have this but yet that doesn’t help

Is there anything in your personal life that has caused this? Or is it purely just the illness?

Keep posting on here, it helps me for sure. Keeps my mind occupied

That post could have written by me, I thought about doing it too last week, I’ve got to be honest it’s constantly on my mind, I’m not saying I’d act on it but like if it’s on your mind

The only way I seen to get temporary relief is through alcohol, like initially I could be really positive, social and can see a way forward but obviously that doesn’t end well

I get annoyed at myself as I had a good upbringing and I just wish I wasn’t like fuckin this, just wasting my life, and worrying my parents who don’t deserve that

I’m in London too, anytime you want a chat on here just send me a pm bud
 
I agree with the over-analyzing, easy to do, without realising you are doing it.
 
LondonBlackCat said:
I can identify with this 100%. I consider myself to be logical almost to a fault, on the downside I find myself over-analysing almost everything and always following my head rather than my heart which has ultimately cost me.

I've relapsed lately in to fairly bad depression and anxiety to the point where I'm struggling to get out of bed in the morning, feel sick to my stomach all the time, tired despite having done nothing and reticent to leave the house. I made something of an attempt on my own life around 3 months ago which luckily I backed out of whilst there was still time, I still struggle with suicidal ideations but fortunately no longer have a desire to act on them.

I'm desperately trying to get myself back on escitalopram, after 8 months or more off of it, as it used to be the only one I'd found that I could tolerate; unfortunately it's making me feel a bit out of it every time I take it and I've been unable to stick to it to date.

Hopefully I come out the other side of this in a much better place, at the moment however that seems a long way off and my anxiety has really started to control my life to the point that I feel quite hopeless.
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The citalopram, do you take this just before bed?

That’s what was advised to my dada as it is designed to calm mood rather than elevate it.
 
Goat Eyes said:
The citalopram, do you take this just before bed?

That’s what was advised to my dada as it is designed to calm mood rather than elevate it.
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I take mine at night as I find it makes me a bit zonked during the day... plus my anxiety usually strikes in the small hours and I wake up in a panicking pool of sweat with palpitations
 
Bad_mother said:
I take mine at night as I find it makes me a bit zonked during the day... plus my anxiety usually strikes in the small hours and I wake up in a panicking pool of sweat with palpitations
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Aye, that’s why they advise taking them at night.

It was great for me to get time with the crisis team as I was able to ask the questions I needed answering which helped me to manage my dad and his medication better.
 
richyrich said:
It definitely isn't easy. I merely offered words that I found encouraging in the hope that it helps someone find the energy to get them through the bastard day.

Every little helps. Depression is a kernt.
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Oh sorry, I didn't mean that to sound sarcastic or anything like that. It was a Geniune comment.

In other news, the prozax switch has me on edge today. Feeling a bit horrible.
 
The Fullwell Step said:
This. I got myself a dog. I struggled to get out of bed some days, but the dog makes me get up and get out for a walks, sometimes for hours, just me and my dog and I love it and certainly makes you feel better. It also gives a bit of focus in your life, you have to look after something, feed it, take care of it, play with it, and it gives you unconditional love back which is amazing. It is also great company if you are on your own, something to talk to to air your feeling out loud if people are not there or you dont want to talk to people about your issues. They are hard work but it gives you a focus and your mind off the troubles which circulate around your head. Not for everyone I know, but a god send for me.
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I can certainly empathise with that. I lost my last dog, a constant companion, 18 months ago so I got another one a month later. He’s a total contrast to the last one which was quiet natured, whereas this one is hyperactive, never a dull moment, both Jack Russells.
Keeping him occupied helps take my mind of my troubles, Parkinsons,Diabetes, Dodgy Ticker, Arthritis in most joints, Prostate problem, Asthma, Depression plus other lesser long term ailments.
I used to be very active 24/7, now I’ve learned to be content, just getting out with the Mutt a couple of times everyday and meeting a few folk along the way.
I’m very much an outdoor person, so when the time comes I can no longer get out under my own steam, I think that will be the end of the line for me.
 
Last Sunday I was feeling horrendous so got absolutely mortal and blacked out

few of the stories of what happened are coming back to me now

not what I needed
 
The Rat said:
Last Sunday I was feeling horrendous so got absolutely mortal and blacked out

few of the stories of what happened are coming back to me now

not what I needed
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You can’t change the past mate, just try and use it to make the future better. Your post on Friday to LondonBlackCat showed you got through last weekend and were offering help a few days later.

Try to remember thoughts are just temporary passing through, like the weather they will change even if sometimes it feels like that they won’t.
 
The Fullwell Step said:
But other than that are you ok mate?

Sorry just trying to lighten the mood. My dog is my reason for being btw.
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Yeh, other than that, as long as I’m still on my feet, I’m ok.:)

The Dog and Sertraline plus enough other meds to stock a pharmacy are mainly what keeps me going.

The kids and grandkids also cheer me up a bit when I occasionally see them, but unfortunately they live a long way away.
 
Anyone still drink heavily on their meds?

Its like a much less scene out of the hangover films, literally no idea what has happened in the proceeding 12 hours
 
The Rat said:
Anyone still drink heavily on their meds?

Its like a much less scene out of the hangover films, literally no idea what has happened in the proceeding 12 hours
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It's an anti depressant so I'd limit it I had 3 Pints while watching Morecombe came I was shattered all wed
 
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