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Depression thread continued...

mackem1989 said:
On to myself the last few weeks I’ve been feeling suicidal, I’ve battled it and I’m beating it I won’t let it beat me it’s hard but I’ve gotta win.

Nothing sets it off my mind just hates me. I keep going.

Few times I’ve been sectioned before and I never want that again I am aware in “mental” well some people say that but I have to just keep on going.

My fuse is also very short at the moment

I’ve just learnt how to cope with and I am here for others not myself and accepted that.
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Please speak to someone about it, it's marvellous you're trying to beat it & can "cope" [your words], but some help or support will make it easier.

Contact someone. You aren't alone with such thoughts. Seek someone to talk to, things honestly aren't as bad as you may have convinced yourself.
 

mackem1989 said:
On to myself the last few weeks I’ve been feeling suicidal, I’ve battled it and I’m beating it I won’t let it beat me it’s hard but I’ve gotta win.

Nothing sets it off my mind just hates me. I keep going.

Few times I’ve been sectioned before and I never want that again I am aware in “mental” well some people say that but I have to just keep on going.

My fuse is also very short at the moment

I’ve just learnt how to cope with and I am here for others not myself and accepted that.
Click to expand...

70s traveller said:
Please speak to someone about it, it's marvellous you're trying to beat it & can "cope" [your words], but some help or support will make it easier.

Contact someone. You aren't alone with such thoughts. Seek someone to talk to, things honestly aren't as bad as you may have convinced yourself.
Click to expand...

Take the advice above mate. Please think about speaking with someone and finding the help you need. You don't have to accept this and you don't have to live like this.

If you want some info, let me know the area you live in and we can find places you can try. Take care mate xx
 
Becs said:
Take the advice above mate. Please think about speaking with someone and finding the help you need. You don't have to accept this and you don't have to live like this.

If you want some info, let me know the area you live in and we can find places you can try. Take care mate xx
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I’ve been to
Crisis team
James place
Space north east
Andys man club
Private therapy.
A and e

And non of it has worked over the years I’ve put time and effort into them

My mental health started when I was 16 and released from a football academy as I hadn’t planned anything else other than being a footballer and then everything stemmed.

I’ve been lost for years and years. It is what it is they say.
 
mackem1989 said:
I’ve been to
Crisis team
James place
Space north east
Andys man club
Private therapy.
A and e

And non of it has worked over the years I’ve put time and effort into them

My mental health started when I was 16 and released from a football academy as I hadn’t planned anything else other than being a footballer and then everything stemmed.

I’ve been lost for years and years. It is what it is they say.
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It's about finding identifying some interest you enjoy to occupy your mind so you can step away from "what could have been". Moving your life forward will help. I'm surprised no-one has suggested that to you.
 
70s traveller said:
That's around you hiding things which I'm also surprised that no-one has identified as being a root of your problem. Mention it if you haven't already for advice.
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I think I need to get back to a gym, if I can manage it had a few physical health conditions that’s stopped me a few years ago.
If I can find one empty and not many in I will attend like.


Genuinely appreciate your words.
 
mackem1989 said:
I think I need to get back to a gym, if I can manage it had a few physical health conditions that’s stopped me a few years ago.
If I can find one empty and not many in I will attend like.


Genuinely appreciate your words.
Click to expand...
No problem, just get yourself back into doing something that takes your mind away from the recent thoughts. As for gyms; there are quieter ones at different times of day.
It may also trigger some other timefilling interest. And mainly, don't think about what led you into those thoughts.👍
 
Not posted in this thread before but first for everything...

Gambling addiction + depression consumed pretty much all my adult life and it finally got me a choke hold the last 3/4 years, really bad the last 2 years.

Hid the addiction from my partner at the time, and we finally split early last year. I think I'd not really taken in the split until I started therapy again recently. It's helping but recently I just can't help but feel so lonely and massive regret at losing the one stable thing I had in my life. I've got good friends and family around me, but fuck me - I just can't seem to get out of this shit place I'm in at the minute and stop feeling like a sad lonely bastard.
 
JDD said:
Not posted in this thread before but first for everything...

Gambling addiction + depression consumed pretty much all my adult life and it finally got me a choke hold the last 3/4 years, really bad the last 2 years.

Hid the addiction from my partner at the time, and we finally split early last year. I think I'd not really taken in the split until I started therapy again recently. It's helping but recently I just can't help but feel so lonely and massive regret at losing the one stable thing I had in my life. I've got good friends and family around me, but fuck me - I just can't seem to get out of this shit place I'm in at the minute and stop feeling like a sad lonely bastard.
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Have you managed to stop the gambling?
 
JDD said:
Relapsed over Christmas, but been a month and 4 days since I last.

Handed over all access to my financials to a family member so even if I wanted too, I couldn't at the minute.
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Relinquishing control of something as important as your finances is a big step which you should be proud of. Addictions are crippling and can sometimes take time before you realise the benefits in stopping. The good news is you have good friends and family who’s are there for you while you’re going through this.

A breakdown of a relationship is always difficult, especially when you may have regrets. I know that all too well. Things get better and eventually you put it behind you and someone else will come along. Time really does fix many things. Just a pisser being at the start line.
 
JDD said:
Not posted in this thread before but first for everything...

Gambling addiction + depression consumed pretty much all my adult life and it finally got me a choke hold the last 3/4 years, really bad the last 2 years.

Hid the addiction from my partner at the time, and we finally split early last year. I think I'd not really taken in the split until I started therapy again recently. It's helping but recently I just can't help but feel so lonely and massive regret at losing the one stable thing I had in my life. I've got good friends and family around me, but fuck me - I just can't seem to get out of this shit place I'm in at the minute and stop feeling like a sad lonely bastard.
Click to expand...
Have you tried Andy man club or similar?
 
Good that you are starting therapy. I'm no expert but as I understand it this is a difficilt thing to do so could explain what you are feeling worse. Facing things is difficult but better than hiding them. So keep at it.
Sounds like you have good friends and family support, always remember that. As others have suggested is it worth joining one of the groups. Also try to do some exercise or outdoor stuff. Maybe try a walking group, parkrun on a Saturday morning or something else you might enjoy.
Sometimes it's a case of Keeping going through the difficult bits but by using positive coping strategies and the good days will come and eventually outweigh the bad
 
JDD said:
Relapsed over Christmas, but been a month and 4 days since I last.

Handed over all access to my financials to a family member so even if I wanted too, I couldn't at the minute.
Click to expand...
Only way to beat it

Get on Gamstop as well

Good luck with it all cos its a horrible addiction

You cant smell it you cant see it and nobody will ever know its happening

Seen good mates destroyed by it but i wish you all the luck in the world and well done with 1 month and now 5 days sober

Keep talking on here and try and see family and friends as much as you can to stop the loneliness

Chin up pal and well done on opening up
 
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