Depression thread continued...

[GTG]

I didn’t come on this thread with the intention of sharing anything, I was just reading through trying to find some good advice for coping. Off the back of reading some pages, I tried to fill in an online form with my doctors to get some help, but a window popped up to say they weren’t taking new requests at this time. My issues pale in significance with others on this thread and I probably just need to get a grip of myself, but I’m conscious of being a burden on my OH.

If you are using Patient Access to contact your GP I think you need to get on as early as possible (8:00 am tomorrow?) as it seems to work in pretty much the same way as the telephone bunfight did. I think they just have a fixed number of 'appointments' available, whether it be face to face, telephone or e-mail and once they hit that number they hit the 'off' switch for the day, though it should still be feasible to phone them if it's urgent.

 

[DonaldDownTheWing]

If you are using Patient Access to contact your GP I think you need to get on as early as possible (8:00 am tomorrow?) as it seems to work in pretty much the same way as the telephone bunfight did. I think they just have a fixed number of 'appointments' available, whether it be face to face, telephone or e-mail and once they hit that number they hit the 'off' switch for the day, though it should still be feasible to phone them if it's urgent.

I thought the whole point of them creating that e-consult thing was so people could just submit whenever but luckily I’ve not had to use the docs much until the last couple of months so I’m not sure.

I’ll give it a whirl tomorrow though!

 

[Hetty]

I read this thread now and then

Just noticed @Rhubarb hasn't posted for about 2 months, hope they are ok

Ahh just seen they were online today

 

[Becs]

I’m having a really shit time at the minute.

For years my mental health was up and down but nothing that I couldn’t handle and certainly nothing that would constitute a clinical definition. It would revolve around drinking too much, making an arse out of myself and then waking up with “the fear” etc etc.

I’ve been with my lass for 4.5 years and gradually I’ve just became less of a drinker although I still have a few on a match day. I have addicted personality so I needed something to fill the void left by not drinking so much, so I started running around 2021. I was a bit of a heavy lump back then and eventually my knee just couldn’t take the hours I was trying to do. There’s a few people in my family who are into endurance sports so there’s clearly a genetic pre-disposition to wanting to go further. Start of 2023 I swapped running for riding a bike and it completely changed my life. I loved every second of being out just churning the miles over. It silenced any negative thoughts I had whilst doing it and the endorphins after a big ride would last for days. I also suffer from Eczema which is mainly triggered by stress, so they positive mental benefits of riding also translated into physical ones in that my skin has never been so good (more on this later).

Fast forward to October 2024, the boat I normally work on has gone into the yard for a major overhaul, not due out till June 2025. Since then my crew has just been dispersed around the fleet to fill gaps on other boats. I know from a previous mental health intervention in 2018, that I don’t deal well with instability and not knowing where I’m going to be, who I’m going to be with etc. Because of my skin, I have to use special soap powders, the chlorine level in the freshwater has to be kept really low, I have a wheat free diet (mostly) and a couple of other things.

Since I found out we were just going to dispersed around the fleet, I’ve just gotten progressively worse. I couldn’t sleep because I’d lie awake at night worrying about whether another crew would be as accommodating to my “special” needs. I would lie awake and worry about where I was going to be, if they’d be as understanding about me taking my bike to work. I worried myself into such a state that my skin flared up and I ended up getting hospitalised. Obviously that meant I couldn’t do the things I would normally do to maintain my mental health and I ended up having to take a month off work. I did reach out to them to say I was struggling due to the uncertainty and they said they’d put me on one crew for the foreseeable but it hasn’t transpired.

I’ve managed to get off the steroid tablets that I was taking when the flare was really bad, but I’m still beetroot coloured most of the time and the comments from people who don’t know the story (whilst not meant maliciously) have destroyed my self confidence. It’s uncomfortable and irritating enough, but knowing that other people notice how ridiculous I look at the moment means I don’t want to get out of bed. When I’m at home I just stay in bed till gone lunch time and when I’m away at work I’m locking myself in my cabin whenever I get the chance. I feel like I’m stuck in a spiral of stressing about how I look, feel and being a burden on my fiancee because I’m not fun to be around at the moment, which in turn is making it worse and it just repeats.

When I’m at home I have her to lean on but being away I’ve never felt so alone or isolated in my life. I struggle to get to sleep and when I go to bed I often hope that I don’t wake up the next morning.

I didn’t come on this thread with the intention of sharing anything, I was just reading through trying to find some good advice for coping. Off the back of reading some pages, I tried to fill in an online form with my doctors to get some help, but a window popped up to say they weren’t taking new requests at this time. My issues pale in significance with others on this thread and I probably just need to get a grip of myself, but I’m conscious of being a burden on my OH.

Sorry for my essay

Sorry to hear what you are going through. I've been on steroids several times and they're brutal. You have my sympathies there.

1) If your skin flares up again, ask about methotrexate. It's an immunosuppressant, so you might feel a bit yuk until you start to tolerate it. Josh had a really bad flare up a few years back. He did about two years on methotrexate and touch wood, the eczema hasn't really come back since.

2) You can self refer here for mental health help:

You must be logged on to see external links

Would group work help you? There's several groups on at the Beacon, either men only or mixed sex. @Springwell Mackem runs a Andy's Man Club group in Washington if you want a chat about that.

3) The Equality Act 2010 defines a disability as a physical or mental impairment that has a substantial and long-term negative effect on a person's ability to do normal daily activities. As you've been hospitalised with the eczema and all the things you mentioned above make it flare up, you can argue that you have a disability. This means you have a right to ask the employer for "reasonable adjustments" to make your work life easier. In your case asking for more stability with boat crews, reassurance about your bike and all that are reasonable adjustments that won't inconvenience the employer but will make your quality of life better. If you feel up to it, can you write a letter explaining this to them stating how it's affecting you and what you'd like them to do to help?

You could also ask for help with this from ACAS

You must be logged on to see external links

or National Eczema society

You must be logged on to see external links

4) Would you consider using make up? I do work for cosmetic brands and you'd be surprised at how many men ask for help with foundation or concealer products to cover up skin issues! Just something light that will adjust your colour without it being obvious you've got it on. If you look at green CC creams, they tone the redness out of your skin. Your lass will probably be able to help with that.

Take care pet, you can get through this xx

 

[lucky]

I’m having a really shit time at the minute.

For years my mental health was up and down but nothing that I couldn’t handle and certainly nothing that would constitute a clinical definition. It would revolve around drinking too much, making an arse out of myself and then waking up with “the fear” etc etc.

I’ve been with my lass for 4.5 years and gradually I’ve just became less of a drinker although I still have a few on a match day. I have addicted personality so I needed something to fill the void left by not drinking so much, so I started running around 2021. I was a bit of a heavy lump back then and eventually my knee just couldn’t take the hours I was trying to do. There’s a few people in my family who are into endurance sports so there’s clearly a genetic pre-disposition to wanting to go further. Start of 2023 I swapped running for riding a bike and it completely changed my life. I loved every second of being out just churning the miles over. It silenced any negative thoughts I had whilst doing it and the endorphins after a big ride would last for days. I also suffer from Eczema which is mainly triggered by stress, so they positive mental benefits of riding also translated into physical ones in that my skin has never been so good (more on this later).

Fast forward to October 2024, the boat I normally work on has gone into the yard for a major overhaul, not due out till June 2025. Since then my crew has just been dispersed around the fleet to fill gaps on other boats. I know from a previous mental health intervention in 2018, that I don’t deal well with instability and not knowing where I’m going to be, who I’m going to be with etc. Because of my skin, I have to use special soap powders, the chlorine level in the freshwater has to be kept really low, I have a wheat free diet (mostly) and a couple of other things.

Since I found out we were just going to dispersed around the fleet, I’ve just gotten progressively worse. I couldn’t sleep because I’d lie awake at night worrying about whether another crew would be as accommodating to my “special” needs. I would lie awake and worry about where I was going to be, if they’d be as understanding about me taking my bike to work. I worried myself into such a state that my skin flared up and I ended up getting hospitalised. Obviously that meant I couldn’t do the things I would normally do to maintain my mental health and I ended up having to take a month off work. I did reach out to them to say I was struggling due to the uncertainty and they said they’d put me on one crew for the foreseeable but it hasn’t transpired.

I’ve managed to get off the steroid tablets that I was taking when the flare was really bad, but I’m still beetroot coloured most of the time and the comments from people who don’t know the story (whilst not meant maliciously) have destroyed my self confidence. It’s uncomfortable and irritating enough, but knowing that other people notice how ridiculous I look at the moment means I don’t want to get out of bed. When I’m at home I just stay in bed till gone lunch time and when I’m away at work I’m locking myself in my cabin whenever I get the chance. I feel like I’m stuck in a spiral of stressing about how I look, feel and being a burden on my fiancee because I’m not fun to be around at the moment, which in turn is making it worse and it just repeats.

When I’m at home I have her to lean on but being away I’ve never felt so alone or isolated in my life. I struggle to get to sleep and when I go to bed I often hope that I don’t wake up the next morning.

I didn’t come on this thread with the intention of sharing anything, I was just reading through trying to find some good advice for coping. Off the back of reading some pages, I tried to fill in an online form with my doctors to get some help, but a window popped up to say they weren’t taking new requests at this time. My issues pale in significance with others on this thread and I probably just need to get a grip of myself, but I’m conscious of being a burden on my OH.

Sorry for my essay

Mate well done for sharing as bet there are loads who are just nervous or anxious about doing the same , @Becs is spot on if you need anyone to talk to and also an Andy's man cave on at the church on Kayll Rd

 

[TAD]

Firstly @DonaldDownTheWing getting it all out there on this thread is a good start. Becs has given some great practical advice (as she always does). Two things I'd add. Don't forget about the positive changes you've made in your lifestyle and keep up the cycling. Talk to your fiancé. Whilst you think your a burden I'm guessing that hasn't even crossed her mind and she'd want to support you.

 

[DonaldDownTheWing]

Sorry to hear what you are going through. I've been on steroids several times and they're brutal. You have my sympathies there.

1) If your skin flares up again, ask about methotrexate. It's an immunosuppressant, so you might feel a bit yuk until you start to tolerate it. Josh had a really bad flare up a few years back. He did about two years on methotrexate and touch wood, the eczema hasn't really come back since.

2) You can self refer here for mental health help:

You must be logged on to see external links

Would group work help you? There's several groups on at the Beacon, either men only or mixed sex. @Springwell Mackem runs a Andy's Man Club group in Washington if you want a chat about that.

3) The Equality Act 2010 defines a disability as a physical or mental impairment that has a substantial and long-term negative effect on a person's ability to do normal daily activities. As you've been hospitalised with the eczema and all the things you mentioned above make it flare up, you can argue that you have a disability. This means you have a right to ask the employer for "reasonable adjustments" to make your work life easier. In your case asking for more stability with boat crews, reassurance about your bike and all that are reasonable adjustments that won't inconvenience the employer but will make your quality of life better. If you feel up to it, can you write a letter explaining this to them stating how it's affecting you and what you'd like them to do to help?

You could also ask for help with this from ACAS

You must be logged on to see external links

or National Eczema society

You must be logged on to see external links

4) Would you consider using make up? I do work for cosmetic brands and you'd be surprised at how many men ask for help with foundation or concealer products to cover up skin issues! Just something light that will adjust your colour without it being obvious you've got it on. If you look at green CC creams, they tone the redness out of your skin. Your lass will probably be able to help with that.

Take care pet, you can get through this xx

Thanks so much for all of that. I went

Sorry to hear what you are going through. I've been on steroids several times and they're brutal. You have my sympathies there.

1) If your skin flares up again, ask about methotrexate. It's an immunosuppressant, so you might feel a bit yuk until you start to tolerate it. Josh had a really bad flare up a few years back. He did about two years on methotrexate and touch wood, the eczema hasn't really come back since.

2) You can self refer here for mental health help:

Would group work help you? There's several groups on at the Beacon, either men only or mixed sex. @Springwell Mackem runs a Andy's Man Club group in Washington if you want a chat about that.

3) The Equality Act 2010 defines a disability as a physical or mental impairment that has a substantial and long-term negative effect on a person's ability to do normal daily activities. As you've been hospitalised with the eczema and all the things you mentioned above make it flare up, you can argue that you have a disability. This means you have a right to ask the employer for "reasonable adjustments" to make your work life easier. In your case asking for more stability with boat crews, reassurance about your bike and all that are reasonable adjustments that won't inconvenience the employer but will make your quality of life better. If you feel up to it, can you write a letter explaining this to them stating how it's affecting you and what you'd like them to do to help?

You could also ask for help with this from ACAS or National Eczema society

4) Would you consider using make up? I do work for cosmetic brands and you'd be surprised at how many men ask for help with foundation or concealer products to cover up skin issues! Just something light that will adjust your colour without it being obvious you've got it on. If you look at green CC creams, they tone the redness out of your skin. Your lass will probably be able to help with that.

Take care pet, you can get through this xx

Thank you so much for all of that. I went to the dermatologist at the team valley before Christmas and methotrexate was one of the options they gave, but we’re trying to start a family and you can’t do both. They’ve referred me for phototherapy but that’s through the NHS so just a waiting game now.

Work are really good in the main. When I’m with my own team they all know about my quirks and we work together to make everything is okay for me, it’s the moving around teams which has made it stressful. I had a chat earlier with my line manager and he’s going to see if I can get put on a project so I can do some home working whilst I get sorted. So that would be great.

I’ll definitely look into the groups at the beacon or Andy’s group. Do you know if you can just turn up to those? Sometimes when I have to book onto things I can work myself up into a tizz haha.

Its not something I’d considered but I’ll get our lass onto it, she absolutely loves all things skin care so she’ll love this task.

Thank you all for your kind words

xx

 

[70s traveller]

Thank you so much for all of that. I went to the dermatologist at the team valley before Christmas and methotrexate was one of the options they gave, but we’re trying to start a family and you can’t do both. They’ve referred me for phototherapy but that’s through the NHS so just a waiting game now.

Work are really good in the main. When I’m with my own team they all know about my quirks and we work together to make everything is okay for me, it’s the moving around teams which has made it stressful. I had a chat earlier with my line manager and he’s going to see if I can get put on a project so I can do some home working whilst I get sorted. So that would be great.

I’ll definitely look into the groups at the beacon or Andy’s group. Do you know if you can just turn up to those? Sometimes when I have to book onto things I can work myself up into a tizz haha.

Its not something I’d considered but I’ll get our lass onto it, she absolutely loves all things skin care so she’ll love this task.

Thank you all for your kind words

xx

Hope it all works out for the best, you've taken the first steps to address it all so very well done. Keep a level head & don't wind yourself up, you've done the right thing by looking for help.

I'm certain you'll also get more good pointers that help on here.

 

[Becs]

I’ll definitely look into the groups at the beacon or Andy’s group. Do you know if you can just turn up to those? Sometimes when I have to book onto things I can work myself up into a tizz haha.

You can just turn up at the groups. You don't need to book. I remember Shane from Not A Statistic at the Beacon saying if anyone gets there and is outside feeling nervous about walking in, he's happy to come out and find people if that would make it easier. I'm sure the other groups will do the same.

Best of luck with everything else. Always people here if you want to post further xx

 

[SPUFF]

Thanks so much for all of that. I went


Thank you so much for all of that. I went to the dermatologist at the team valley before Christmas and methotrexate was one of the options they gave, but we’re trying to start a family and you can’t do both. They’ve referred me for phototherapy but that’s through the NHS so just a waiting game now.

Work are really good in the main. When I’m with my own team they all know about my quirks and we work together to make everything is okay for me, it’s the moving around teams which has made it stressful. I had a chat earlier with my line manager and he’s going to see if I can get put on a project so I can do some home working whilst I get sorted. So that would be great.

I’ll definitely look into the groups at the beacon or Andy’s group. Do you know if you can just turn up to those? Sometimes when I have to book onto things I can work myself up into a tizz haha.

Its not something I’d considered but I’ll get our lass onto it, she absolutely loves all things skin care so she’ll love this task.

Thank you all for your kind words

xx

Did you know theres a spare place on the rtg cosst2coast mate?

Something to look forward to?

 

[DBStar]

My issues pale in significance with others on this thread and I probably just need to get a grip of myself, but I’m conscious of being a burden on my OH.

You've had advice on everything else, but this is classic minimisation of your issues. Your problems are as important as everyone else's problems and you are as important as everyone else.

I thought the whole point of them creating that e-consult thing was so people could just submit whenever but luckily I’ve not had to use the docs much until the last couple of months so I’m not sure.

I’ll give it a whirl tomorrow though!

It can be a pain. In Jarrow I just do it at anytime and it is pretty efficient. Saves a doctor's visit sometimes too. When my partner tries in Pallion, they have a limit or simply turn it off at the weekends, presumably due to demand. My sister in Essex had a similar issue. I suggested typing all of the answers out in a document and pasting them in. She managed to do that and finally get an appointment before the quota ran out for the day.

 

[DonaldDownTheWing]

Did you know theres a spare place on the rtg cosst2coast mate?

Something to look forward to?

Thanks mate. I’ve got loads of events booked for this year but I dunno if I’m going to be able to do any of them at the moment.

 

[Springwell Mackem]

Thanks so much for all of that. I went


Thank you so much for all of that. I went to the dermatologist at the team valley before Christmas and methotrexate was one of the options they gave, but we’re trying to start a family and you can’t do both. They’ve referred me for phototherapy but that’s through the NHS so just a waiting game now.

Work are really good in the main. When I’m with my own team they all know about my quirks and we work together to make everything is okay for me, it’s the moving around teams which has made it stressful. I had a chat earlier with my line manager and he’s going to see if I can get put on a project so I can do some home working whilst I get sorted. So that would be great.

I’ll definitely look into the groups at the beacon or Andy’s group. Do you know if you can just turn up to those? Sometimes when I have to book onto things I can work myself up into a tizz haha.

Its not something I’d considered but I’ll get our lass onto it, she absolutely loves all things skin care so she’ll love this task.

Thank you all for your kind words

xx

Hi mate, I run the AMC group at Sunderland, if you're north of the Wear then I'd recommend the Beacon/Souter Lighthouse group and we have the Kayll Road Library group on Chester Road that I run. We're averaging about 20-25 at Kayll Road and 30-40 at the Beacon. The groups will be broken down into small groups of 2-3 to give everyone an opportunity to speak. You don't have to book anything, you just turn up.

There'll be faciliators waiting outside to support first timers on taking that first step through the door, we're there from 18:30 and the group starts from 19:00 and runs about 2 hours. It took me 2 attempts to get through the door, I know others where they've been sitting in their car every week to pluck up the courage to attend but once through the door haven't looked back.

At the group we'll ask 5 questions (it's optional to answer):

1, How's you week been?
2, One positive from your week?
3, Anything to get off your chest?

Then 2 random questions to leave on a positive.

 

[lucky]

Hi mate, I run the AMC group at Sunderland, if you're north of the Wear then I'd recommend the Beacon/Souter Lighthouse group and we have the Kayll Road Library group on Chester Road that I run. We're averaging about 20-25 at Kayll Road and 30-40 at the Beacon. The groups will be broken down into small groups of 2-3 to give everyone an opportunity to speak. You don't have to book anything, you just turn up.

There'll be faciliators waiting outside to support first timers on taking that first step through the door, we're there from 18:30 and the group starts from 19:00 and runs about 2 hours. It took me 2 attempts to get through the door, I know others where they've been sitting in their car every week to pluck up the courage to attend but once through the door haven't looked back.

At the group we'll ask 5 questions (it's optional to answer):

1, How's you week been?
2, One positive from your week?
3, Anything to get off your chest?

Then 2 random questions to leave on a positive.

Never been to AMC before but should I need to I would definitely go as I am usually in Kayll Rd library as my wife volunteers in there and all I have heard is positive things about your place so much love and respect to you all mate

 

[GTG]

I thought the whole point of them creating that e-consult thing was so people could just submit whenever but luckily I’ve not had to use the docs much until the last couple of months so I’m not sure.

I’ll give it a whirl tomorrow though!

I think the idea is to reduce the waiting lists by making it even harder to get an appointment for the elderly, impoverished and, well, ill people so that they just eventually die off and the burden on pensions and benefits is reduced.

 

[mackem1989]

I’m having a really shit time at the minute.

For years my mental health was up and down but nothing that I couldn’t handle and certainly nothing that would constitute a clinical definition. It would revolve around drinking too much, making an arse out of myself and then waking up with “the fear” etc etc.

I’ve been with my lass for 4.5 years and gradually I’ve just became less of a drinker although I still have a few on a match day. I have addicted personality so I needed something to fill the void left by not drinking so much, so I started running around 2021. I was a bit of a heavy lump back then and eventually my knee just couldn’t take the hours I was trying to do. There’s a few people in my family who are into endurance sports so there’s clearly a genetic pre-disposition to wanting to go further. Start of 2023 I swapped running for riding a bike and it completely changed my life. I loved every second of being out just churning the miles over. It silenced any negative thoughts I had whilst doing it and the endorphins after a big ride would last for days. I also suffer from Eczema which is mainly triggered by stress, so they positive mental benefits of riding also translated into physical ones in that my skin has never been so good (more on this later).

Fast forward to October 2024, the boat I normally work on has gone into the yard for a major overhaul, not due out till June 2025. Since then my crew has just been dispersed around the fleet to fill gaps on other boats. I know from a previous mental health intervention in 2018, that I don’t deal well with instability and not knowing where I’m going to be, who I’m going to be with etc. Because of my skin, I have to use special soap powders, the chlorine level in the freshwater has to be kept really low, I have a wheat free diet (mostly) and a couple of other things.

Since I found out we were just going to dispersed around the fleet, I’ve just gotten progressively worse. I couldn’t sleep because I’d lie awake at night worrying about whether another crew would be as accommodating to my “special” needs. I would lie awake and worry about where I was going to be, if they’d be as understanding about me taking my bike to work. I worried myself into such a state that my skin flared up and I ended up getting hospitalised. Obviously that meant I couldn’t do the things I would normally do to maintain my mental health and I ended up having to take a month off work. I did reach out to them to say I was struggling due to the uncertainty and they said they’d put me on one crew for the foreseeable but it hasn’t transpired.

I’ve managed to get off the steroid tablets that I was taking when the flare was really bad, but I’m still beetroot coloured most of the time and the comments from people who don’t know the story (whilst not meant maliciously) have destroyed my self confidence. It’s uncomfortable and irritating enough, but knowing that other people notice how ridiculous I look at the moment means I don’t want to get out of bed. When I’m at home I just stay in bed till gone lunch time and when I’m away at work I’m locking myself in my cabin whenever I get the chance. I feel like I’m stuck in a spiral of stressing about how I look, feel and being a burden on my fiancee because I’m not fun to be around at the moment, which in turn is making it worse and it just repeats.

When I’m at home I have her to lean on but being away I’ve never felt so alone or isolated in my life. I struggle to get to sleep and when I go to bed I often hope that I don’t wake up the next morning.

I didn’t come on this thread with the intention of sharing anything, I was just reading through trying to find some good advice for coping. Off the back of reading some pages, I tried to fill in an online form with my doctors to get some help, but a window popped up to say they weren’t taking new requests at this time. My issues pale in significance with others on this thread and I probably just need to get a grip of myself, but I’m conscious of being a burden on my OH.

Sorry for my essay

Are you home now mate? I am off this week I’m going to pop over and see you we will have a cuppa I won’t type loads on here but il speak to you in person

 

[DonaldDownTheWing]

Are you home now mate? I am off this week I’m going to pop over and see you we will have a cuppa I won’t type loads on here but il speak to you in person

Aye home now mate

 

[mackem1989]

On to myself the last few weeks I’ve been feeling suicidal, I’ve battled it and I’m beating it I won’t let it beat me it’s hard but I’ve gotta win.

Nothing sets it off my mind just hates me. I keep going.

Few times I’ve been sectioned before and I never want that again I am aware in “mental” well some people say that but I have to just keep on going.

My fuse is also very short at the moment

I’ve just learnt how to cope with and I am here for others not myself and accepted that.

 

[lucky]

On to myself the last few weeks I’ve been feeling suicidal, I’ve battled it and I’m beating it I won’t let it beat me it’s hard but I’ve gotta win.

Nothing sets it off my mind just hates me. I keep going.

Few times I’ve been sectioned before and I never want that again I am aware in “mental” well some people say that but I have to just keep on going.

My fuse is also very short at the moment

I’ve just learnt how to cope with and I am here for others not myself and accepted that.

Mate you take care as you seem a top lad and we all here for you

 

[CatRyan]

Thanks so much for all of that. I went


Thank you so much for all of that. I went to the dermatologist at the team valley before Christmas and methotrexate was one of the options they gave, but we’re trying to start a family and you can’t do both. They’ve referred me for phototherapy but that’s through the NHS so just a waiting game now.

Work are really good in the main. When I’m with my own team they all know about my quirks and we work together to make everything is okay for me, it’s the moving around teams which has made it stressful. I had a chat earlier with my line manager and he’s going to see if I can get put on a project so I can do some home working whilst I get sorted. So that would be great.

I’ll definitely look into the groups at the beacon or Andy’s group. Do you know if you can just turn up to those? Sometimes when I have to book onto things I can work myself up into a tizz haha.

Its not something I’d considered but I’ll get our lass onto it, she absolutely loves all things skin care so she’ll love this task.

Thank you all for your kind words

xx

Mate... I have a card from @alexander from years ago I'm too anxious to open. I had to build up to watching the Ronnie O-Sullivan documentary.
The shit I get anxious about is ridiculous.
My brother who lived with depression would ask me why are you anxious? Super confused. I had enough of it once and just asked him what he was so depressed about.
There is no rhyme or reason. You're being really positive and proactive and communicative... you are doing boss