• The first stage of the forum upgrades has now been completed but they remain in a degraded state and are still being worked on.
    Please read this thread for more details.
    New user registrations are currently disabled.

Depression thread continued...

joebolton said:
This is the long drag now 12 till bedtime. Going to finish painting the bedroom , try and learn another chord on the guitar.
I just wish me mates were a bit more out there, but they are quite happy just vegging in front of the telly.

I like structure. Mon to Fri 8-6.30 out at work , tea , shower relax. Saturdays for action , but there just doesn’t seem to be any.

I have an option of a date on NYE , which is good , BUT I think she is picking up on my funny ways of routine etc. I know I am going to self sabotage it like the last 3 lasses.

all 3 said ( in effect ) the same thing. Why don’t you let yourself be the man you COULD be.
I don’t know how to. Not for any length of time.

What did that comedian say , I’m like the Dominican Republic , I am great for 5 days , then issues appear 😀

But thanks for asking. 36 hours to go now.
Click to expand...
Get on that date mate on NYE as want to hear how you get on 👍. Nothing wrong with funny ways etc they are the good bits in a relationship.
 

aeroplane mode said:
Thanks mate, so do I. I need the lift.

Yeah terrible nausea but not so much headaches. I also keep feeling spaced out, which comes in waves.
Click to expand...
I know it’s shite but you just have to ride it out, it should wear off and disappear. If it doesn’t your doctor can change it. I think the one he has given you is a newer one with less side effects, give it up to 4 weeks then go back if you are still feeling poo
 
Amber said:
I know it’s shite but you just have to ride it out, it should wear off and disappear. If it doesn’t your doctor can change it. I think the one he has given you is a newer one with less side effects, give it up to 4 weeks then go back if you are still feeling poo
Click to expand...
Thanks Amber, yeah I’ve read a few reviews on it, most are saying get past the 2 week barrier and things start to settle down so fingers crossed.
 
I'm watching "Patience" on Channel 4 about ghe fictional autistic civilian police worker. First two episodes so far. I'm seeing alot of me in her.
 
Roker SOL said:
I'm watching "Patience" on Channel 4 about ghe fictional autistic civilian police worker. First two episodes so far. I'm seeing alot of me in her.
Click to expand...
I binge watched that last night. My nephew is autistic and walks around with his ear defenders all the time. We went to a christening and he had to sit in the corner with them on. So many things scare him,do you feel like that?
Please don’t feel like you have to reply! I don’t want to offend you
 
Anyone used a SAD lamp? I start feeling like hammered shite in about October and it doesn't go back to "normal" (whatever that is) til about March. Starting to think it's the lack of sunlight.
 
InsomniacAttack said:
Anyone used a SAD lamp? I start feeling like hammered shite in about October and it doesn't go back to "normal" (whatever that is) til about March. Starting to think it's the lack of sunlight.
Click to expand...
No but you can also get vitamins. I struggle with this too. Going through a rough patch so that's just reminded me to take them.
You must be logged on to see external links

I was recommended these.
 
InsomniacAttack said:
Anyone used a SAD lamp? I start feeling like hammered shite in about October and it doesn't go back to "normal" (whatever that is) til about March. Starting to think it's the lack of sunlight.
Click to expand...
I did years ago when I had to get up in the dark for months. I was feeling sick with fatigue every morning I had the lamp on a timer next to my bed to come on 30 mins before I had to get up. It really helped me feel less ghastly.
 
Keeping the Faith said:
I did years ago when I had to get up in the dark for months. I was feeling sick with fatigue every morning I had the lamp on a timer next to my bed to come on 30 mins before I had to get up. It really helped me feel less ghastly.
Click to expand...
I've got one of these lamps and they really help me get up and have a good start to the day. They've shit up in price since I bought mine about 7 years ago like but still worth it imo. (Lumie I think the brand is)
Also vitamin D tablets over winter as said earlier.
 
Hi all. I hope everybody is doing well.

A friend posted this on Facebook and I haven't seen it here before and I thought it might help some here now or in future -
You must be logged on to see external links
- They work to provide life saving treatment to suicidal men and you can self refer, or you can refer a man (with their consent), which is something I have not seen before.
 
I feel for suicidal people so much, I can't imagine how grim your circumstances could be that you feel that even considering that course of action is the only way to go :(

From my perspective, after a few conversations with friends i've contracted a counselling place as things aren't getting better and I feel that the complicated relationship with my father (especially growing up) has unearthed some really confusing feelings recently...plus my personal life hasn't really moved forward despite trying my best multiple times, but hey-ho :lol:
 
I’m having a really shit time at the minute.

For years my mental health was up and down but nothing that I couldn’t handle and certainly nothing that would constitute a clinical definition. It would revolve around drinking too much, making an arse out of myself and then waking up with “the fear” etc etc.

I’ve been with my lass for 4.5 years and gradually I’ve just became less of a drinker although I still have a few on a match day. I have addicted personality so I needed something to fill the void left by not drinking so much, so I started running around 2021. I was a bit of a heavy lump back then and eventually my knee just couldn’t take the hours I was trying to do. There’s a few people in my family who are into endurance sports so there’s clearly a genetic pre-disposition to wanting to go further. Start of 2023 I swapped running for riding a bike and it completely changed my life. I loved every second of being out just churning the miles over. It silenced any negative thoughts I had whilst doing it and the endorphins after a big ride would last for days. I also suffer from Eczema which is mainly triggered by stress, so they positive mental benefits of riding also translated into physical ones in that my skin has never been so good (more on this later).

Fast forward to October 2024, the boat I normally work on has gone into the yard for a major overhaul, not due out till June 2025. Since then my crew has just been dispersed around the fleet to fill gaps on other boats. I know from a previous mental health intervention in 2018, that I don’t deal well with instability and not knowing where I’m going to be, who I’m going to be with etc. Because of my skin, I have to use special soap powders, the chlorine level in the freshwater has to be kept really low, I have a wheat free diet (mostly) and a couple of other things.

Since I found out we were just going to dispersed around the fleet, I’ve just gotten progressively worse. I couldn’t sleep because I’d lie awake at night worrying about whether another crew would be as accommodating to my “special” needs. I would lie awake and worry about where I was going to be, if they’d be as understanding about me taking my bike to work. I worried myself into such a state that my skin flared up and I ended up getting hospitalised. Obviously that meant I couldn’t do the things I would normally do to maintain my mental health and I ended up having to take a month off work. I did reach out to them to say I was struggling due to the uncertainty and they said they’d put me on one crew for the foreseeable but it hasn’t transpired.

I’ve managed to get off the steroid tablets that I was taking when the flare was really bad, but I’m still beetroot coloured most of the time and the comments from people who don’t know the story (whilst not meant maliciously) have destroyed my self confidence. It’s uncomfortable and irritating enough, but knowing that other people notice how ridiculous I look at the moment means I don’t want to get out of bed. When I’m at home I just stay in bed till gone lunch time and when I’m away at work I’m locking myself in my cabin whenever I get the chance. I feel like I’m stuck in a spiral of stressing about how I look, feel and being a burden on my fiancee because I’m not fun to be around at the moment, which in turn is making it worse and it just repeats.

When I’m at home I have her to lean on but being away I’ve never felt so alone or isolated in my life. I struggle to get to sleep and when I go to bed I often hope that I don’t wake up the next morning.

I didn’t come on this thread with the intention of sharing anything, I was just reading through trying to find some good advice for coping. Off the back of reading some pages, I tried to fill in an online form with my doctors to get some help, but a window popped up to say they weren’t taking new requests at this time. My issues pale in significance with others on this thread and I probably just need to get a grip of myself, but I’m conscious of being a burden on my OH.

Sorry for my essay
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top