Animals and insects that have attacked you.



We had a tortoise which used to launch itself at your ankle and pull its head in so the shell hit you. If it caught your ankle bone it knacked. Little bastard got launched the day it but my little toe
 
Had a pet rabbit and did a huge unexpected sneeze while I was petting her. She got a fright and sunk her teeth into my hand. I've got a scar from that!

A wasp once flew up the leg of my shorts and stung me on the thigh several times. Luckily we were away with some other families and one was a GP who had his bag with him, so he gave me a shot of antihistamines.

On the last night of a holiday in Mexico, I woke up with a really bad headache. The room was stuffy, so I took some painkillers and went and sat on the balcony to get some fresh air. The mosquitoes had a banquet on my legs, so I had to endure an uncomfortable 9 hour flight with itchy egg sized lumps all over my legs.

After reminding my children several times about hats, I forgot my own hat when we went to see the Arctic terns on the Farnes. They pecked chunks out of my head.
 
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Stung by a wasp up me trouser leg.

Bitten by a pet hamster.

Attacked by a dog on a farm that lived in a barrel. Had to kick it in the knackers.

Dive bombed by some sort of gull on the Farne Islands. A tern I think.

Bitten by a midge on holiday in Austria. After 2 days I had a huge lump on me hand and had to have a course of anti-biotics.

I could go on.

Basically, I am at one with nature but nature isn't keen.
 
Most animals know not to mess with me as they know I'll come down on them like a ton of bricks and return whatever they give me x 10.

Ones that have mess with me though are: 2 wasps. One stung me on the leg at chester le street market in the 80s.
It got away.
Got stung off a wasp in the house. So I absolutely destroyed it.
 
Got bit by a copper horse when we were away at man city many moons ago. It was my own stupid fault for feeding it beer. It f***ing knacked, it was like my hand was in a vice or some shit.

I crashed my mountain bike on a gnarly decent when something buzzy got stuck in me helmet (fnarr fnarr). It was probably just a git fat bluebottle as whatever it was didn't sting me heed, the crash f***ing knacked like...
 
What A Waster said:
Most animals know not to mess with me as they know I'll come down on them like a ton of bricks and return whatever they give me x 10.

Ones that have mess with me though are: 2 wasps. One stung me on the leg at chester le street market in the 80s.
It got away.
Got stung off a wasp in the house. So I absolutely destroyed it.
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But could you shoot a Bluebottle fly out of the sky with your spunk? I reckon I could.
 
Bought a tarantula at pallion pet shop when I was about 12. Tried to pick it up on the bus home and it bit me on the finger. Been scared of spiders ever since. f***ing hated Seymore the angry ****.
 
Any moons ago, we had a holiday where home was a hut on the beach. It was open to the nightlife and whilst my body was hidden in a sleeping bag my face wasn't. I counted 70 mossie/gnat bites on my face. :mad:
 
Aside from Texas sized mozzies, got bitten on the shin by a brown recluse spider. I felt NOWT!

Until a couple of days later I noticed a small red mark on me leg which over the next few days grew into a giant pustulous suppurating abscess. When it finally burst and I cleared out all the pus and necrotic flesh I had a hole I could put me finger in up to the first joint. It left a bruise-like scar for about ten years

Anyone eating dinner right now?

Spiders never used to bother me but if I see one in the house or garage now it goes under the boot after that, the little brown bastards.
 
tunstall birdman said:
Over the time I've had a few.

Hornets - I attacked their nest and so they attacked back and I got stung to fuck.
Been stung by both wasps and bees.
Dogs - Had a few attack me but made lucky escapes. A Chihuahua once bit my ankle
Birds - Had some crows attack me when I was rescuing their chick
A long legged flying insect once bit my lip and left a hole. Fuck knows what it was, I spat it out and it flew off quickly?
A few cats have attacked me for various reasons. Bit advice lads, don't stroke pussy that you are unsure of.
A lion once nearly tore my arm off.

There's more when I can remember them.

Next.
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You'd think the lion one would have been near the top.
 
Tex said:
Aside from Texas sized mozzies, got bitten on the shin by a brown recluse spider. I felt NOWT!

Until a couple of days later I noticed a small red mark on me leg which over the next few days grew into a giant pustulous suppurating abscess. When it finally burst and I cleared out all the pus and necrotic flesh I had a hole I could put me finger in up to the first joint. It left a bruise-like scar for about ten years

Anyone eating dinner right now?

Spiders never used to bother me but if I see one in the house or garage now it goes under the boot after that, the little brown bastards.
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So far you are winning this thread on the 'Level of injury' caused.:eek:
 
Tex said:
Aside from Texas sized mozzies, got bitten on the shin by a brown recluse spider. I felt NOWT!

Until a couple of days later I noticed a small red mark on me leg which over the next few days grew into a giant pustulous suppurating abscess. When it finally burst and I cleared out all the pus and necrotic flesh I had a hole I could put me finger in up to the first joint. It left a bruise-like scar for about ten years

Anyone eating dinner right now?

Spiders never used to bother me but if I see one in the house or garage now it goes under the boot after that, the little brown bastards.
Click to expand...
Did any baby spiders come out the hole? I hope so, or they're still in there.
 
Got bit by a police dog in Roker Baths Road in 1982. I gave the dog a back hander and spent the rest of the afternoon in Sheepfolds police station.
 

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