Animals and insects that have attacked you.

[tunstall birdman]

Over the time I've had a few.

Hornets - I attacked their nest and so they attacked back and I got stung to fuck.
Been stung by both wasps and bees.
Dogs - Had a few attack me but made lucky escapes. A Chihuahua once bit my ankle
Birds - Had some crows attack me when I was rescuing their chick
A long legged flying insect once bit my lip and left a hole. Fuck knows what it was, I spat it out and it flew off quickly?
A few cats have attacked me for various reasons. Bit advice lads, don't stroke pussy that you are unsure of.
A lion once nearly tore my arm off.

There's more when I can remember them.

Next.

 

[Charmless Man]

You haven’t been near a pussy in nigh on 30 years man.

 

[Billy Rocket]

Been bitten by a horse and a Bichon Frise. That's about it. Unless you include being stung by women.

 

[PinzaC55]

I went into Brian Murrays scrapyard in Pallion with me dad and me nephew in about 1975 and the alsatian there took one look at me and bounded across the yard and sank its teeth into me arse.

 

[tunstall birdman]

You haven’t been near a pussy in nigh on 30 years man.

I've had that pussy attack me anarl. These days it's called 'Domestic violence'.

 

[MackemBob]

Bitten by a Barbary Ape on the Rock of Gibraltar. Had to go to hospital in a fire engine.

 

[tunstall birdman]

Bitten by a Barbary Ape on the Rock of Gibraltar. Had to go to hospital in a fire engine.

 

[Charmless Man]

Bitten by a Barbary Ape on the Rock of Gibraltar. Had to go to hospital in a fire engine.

One of those twats nicked some food from my hand when I was a bairn. Deeply upsetting.

 

[tonyfromalnwick]

I was eaten by a great white shark while fishing off Amble. Luckily I had my big knife on me and was able to cut my way out of its stomach.

 

[tunstall birdman]

One of those twats nicked some food from my hand when I was a bairn. Deeply upsetting.

Good, you little bastard. You will have deserved it.

 

[Charmless Man]

Good, you little bastard. You will have deserved it.

I was a good boy iirc mate.

 

[Sandboy]

I was eaten by a great white shark while fishing off Amble. Luckily I had my big knife on me and was able to cut my way out of its stomach.

More likely to have been fondling Freddy

 

[tunstall birdman]

I was a good boy iirc mate.

So what's happened now then?

More likely to have been fondling Freddy

Seal fondler?

 

[Son of Stan]

One of my cats kindly dropped an irate shrew at my feet last year. I picked it up and it sank its teeth through my finger to the bone. Why couldn't he have done that to the cat instead?

I once made the mistake of getting in between one of my cats who was having a fight in the garden with an interloper. My cat bit my hand and ran off. I ended up with an infected and frozen hand and had to go to A&E for a tetanus injection.

 

[miltonunez9]

I was eaten by a great white shark while fishing off Amble. Luckily I had my big knife on me and was able to cut my way out of its stomach.

Was that you?
I witnessed the whole incident.

 

[Sandboy]

So what's happened now then?


Seal fondler?

http://www.heraldscotland.com/news/12651809.Court_clears_swimmer_of_indecency_with_dolphin/

 

[Lord Potts]

I was once attacked by a seagull and had to karate chop it in half

 

[SAFCOldie]

You sound like a proper 'creature botherer' Birdman , just stop teasing them

 

[tunstall birdman]

http://www.heraldscotland.com/news/12651809.Court_clears_swimmer_of_indecency_with_dolphin/

You sound like a proper 'creature botherer' Birdman , just stop teasing them

I've turned a few lasses into wild animals in my time.

 

[DPTT]

Over the time I've had a few.

Hornets - I attacked their nest and so they attacked back and I got stung to fuck.
Been stung by both wasps and bees.
Dogs - Had a few attack me but made lucky escapes. A Chihuahua once bit my ankle
Birds - Had some crows attack me when I was rescuing their chick
A long legged flying insect once bit my lip and left a hole. Fuck knows what it was, I spat it out and it flew off quickly?
A few cats have attacked me for various reasons. Bit advice lads, don't stroke pussy that you are unsure of.
A lion once nearly tore my arm off.

There's more when I can remember them.

Next.

Red Ants in America, thousands on me. Apparently quite dangerous it was.