Depression thread continued...

[The soap powder]

Kids are the reason I keep fighting mate and I will keep fighting for them aslong as I can but it's just existing not living. Being a part time dad was never in my plans. I wouldn't have had kids if I thought this situation was a possibility.

Part time in your eyes mate but in their little eyes full time and always will be as they get older they will see it and see more and more of you when they want and it will all come good

Hang in there pal and everything you do is to show them how much you love them and how proud they can be to have you

Hardest time of your life right now I get that but it can and will get better

 

[Stubbs ftm]

Sorry about this post and yes I am getting help

However I really think the end of my battle is soon just thinking about chucking it in I’ve still went on and got on with it but it’s creeping in on me.

Feel so dejected and fed up of the world don’t even feel emotion anymore.

Don't be daft man.

Tomorrow's a new day. It can be anything you want it to be. Time is a great healer, whatever you're going through it will pass.
Do talk though, friends, family, even strangers on here all helps.

 

[D.A]

Kids are the reason I keep fighting mate and I will keep fighting for them aslong as I can but it's just existing not living. Being a part time dad was never in my plans. I wouldn't have had kids if I thought this situation was a possibility.

Could you speak with the mother?

 

[Gennaro Savastano]

Could you speak with the mother?

I am currently not legally allowed to mate which isn't ideal.

 

[D.A]

I am currently not legally allowed to mate which isn't ideal.

Currently...things can change. Try and see a future.

 

[CPLforever]

Kids are the reason I keep fighting mate and I will keep fighting for them aslong as I can but it's just existing not living. Being a part time dad was never in my plans. I wouldn't have had kids if I thought this situation was a possibility.

You are not a part time Dad, you are a full time Dad cos you are their Dad ALL THE TIME. Just because you are not spending time with them doesn't mean you are part time. When they are at school and you are not with them, doesn't make you part time. Like I said you are their dad all the time.

They would be abso.utely shattered if anything happened to you.

Sorry about this post and yes I am getting help

However I really think the end of my battle is soon just thinking about chucking it in I’ve still went on and got on with it but it’s creeping in on me.

Feel so dejected and fed up of the world don’t even feel emotion anymore.

Get back to the doctors do a medication review. Maybe you need to tweak it a bit so it is working better for you.

Also you are getting help. Hang on in there, is it early days? Give it a chance to work. At least carry on with the help you are getting, whether therapy or medication, or both Give it a chance to work.

Stay in touch.

 

[lucky]

I know there is various clubs like Andys man club which is brilliant , Can nothing be set up by this board to meet men and women who are struggling. I struggle daily and would be glad to go .

 

[CPLforever]

I know there is various clubs like Andys man club which is brilliant , Can nothing be set up by this board to meet men and women who are struggling. I struggle daily and would be glad to go .

Hey thought I would let people know. I didn't manage to go out yesterday as planned, couldn't face it, still finding it hard to go out alone. But this evening I went out to a friend's birthday meal in a restaurant.. OK had someone with me but still.

You just never know when today (or tomorrow) is going to be better than yesterday.

 

[Fred]

Sorry to annoy everyone again but I'm probably having my worst and longest bout yet. I don't even think this is the right thread to be posting this in because I don't know what I would call this but depression is certainly one of my symptoms right now.

This bout has been ongoing for about 5 months now, which is by far the longest I've ever had, but it just seems to be getting worse by the day. Work used to be my safe space where I could just walk around and not have to concentrate on anything else, but now when I'm at work it's even worse.

Right now I'm going through spells of worrying about money, frustrated at feeling like I'm a failure as a Dad and constantly having that niggle in the back of my mind my wife is getting sick of me and going to leave and it just won't go away, no matter how irrational it is. The worst part about it is that I'm thinking worst possible scenarios at the start of the day and letting them manifest and take hold of me almost everyday.

It just feels like I'm regressing mentally and finding it unbelievably difficult to find a way through this without either putting my marriage at risk by constantly pissing her off or losing my temper which seems to come to boil very quickly currently.

I don't think this time there is currently much anyone can do to help, but I just thought I would have a vent and try to be honest with myself and others.

 

[FatCat2402]

Just a quick update on my own situation in the hope it gives others hope.

3 or 4 months ago, I was at the lowest I'd been in my 56 years, worse than I'd been after losing my Mam and Dad. Anxiety, depression, fear, paranoia etc....no idea why.

After having a number of fundamentally embarrassing breakdowns in public I recognised it was time to do something and seek professional help.

A change in medication and getting face to face counselling arranged through my GP (in Sunderland) at short notice has made a huge difference.

I don't think for one minute I've cracked it, but I'm able to socialise again, contribute and look forward to things, which I hadn't been able to do for months. I've even started playing guitar and piano again.

If you're struggling, but you've posted on here, you've taken that first step in the right direction. Speak to your GP, speak to your friends. There's help for everyone if you can find strength to look for it.

Good luck.

 

[CPLforever]

Sorry to annoy everyone again but I'm probably having my worst and longest bout yet. I don't even think this is the right thread to be posting this in because I don't know what I would call this but depression is certainly one of my symptoms right now.

This bout has been ongoing for about 5 months now, which is by far the longest I've ever had, but it just seems to be getting worse by the day. Work used to be my safe space where I could just walk around and not have to concentrate on anything else, but now when I'm at work it's even worse.

Right now I'm going through spells of worrying about money, frustrated at feeling like I'm a failure as a Dad and constantly having that niggle in the back of my mind my wife is getting sick of me and going to leave and it just won't go away, no matter how irrational it is. The worst part about it is that I'm thinking worst possible scenarios at the start of the day and letting them manifest and take hold of me almost everyday.

It just feels like I'm regressing mentally and finding it unbelievably difficult to find a way through this without either putting my marriage at risk by constantly pissing her off or losing my temper which seems to come to boil very quickly currently.

I don't think this time there is currently much anyone can do to help, but I just thought I would have a vent and try to be honest with myself and others.

Just wanted a little think about what you've posted, before I answered. First of all you are not annoying anyone so take that right out of the equation, in fact everyone will be glad you are posting on here cos as @FatCat2402 says, you are reaching out, it is a a first step and shows you are thinking about how you are feeling.

You are very down on yourself at the moment, thinking everything you do is crap or annoying and tormenting yourself with worst case scenarios. Your self esteem has really taking a pummelling, by the sound of things.

Have you been to your G.P. have you any diagnosis.. sometimes all we can do is manage, and it's important we try and manage until we start to be able to cope and feel better again. Get to the doctors, ask about medication and maybe some CBT, even if you have tried it before always worth a top up to strengthen the (sorry about the cliche) tools you need to cope

 

[lucky]

Sorry to annoy everyone again but I'm probably having my worst and longest bout yet. I don't even think this is the right thread to be posting this in because I don't know what I would call this but depression is certainly one of my symptoms right now.

This bout has been ongoing for about 5 months now, which is by far the longest I've ever had, but it just seems to be getting worse by the day. Work used to be my safe space where I could just walk around and not have to concentrate on anything else, but now when I'm at work it's even worse.

Right now I'm going through spells of worrying about money, frustrated at feeling like I'm a failure as a Dad and constantly having that niggle in the back of my mind my wife is getting sick of me and going to leave and it just won't go away, no matter how irrational it is. The worst part about it is that I'm thinking worst possible scenarios at the start of the day and letting them manifest and take hold of me almost everyday.

It just feels like I'm regressing mentally and finding it unbelievably difficult to find a way through this without either putting my marriage at risk by constantly pissing her off or losing my temper which seems to come to boil very quickly currently.

I don't think this time there is currently much anyone can do to help, but I just thought I would have a vent and try to be honest with myself and others.

Mate well done posting and if you ever wanted a vent or someone to listen ill always be here in person or on here. Please don't ever say sorry for posting on here it's massive that you have done .

 

[Whey]

Sorry to annoy everyone again but I'm probably having my worst and longest bout yet. I don't even think this is the right thread to be posting this in because I don't know what I would call this but depression is certainly one of my symptoms right now.

This bout has been ongoing for about 5 months now, which is by far the longest I've ever had, but it just seems to be getting worse by the day. Work used to be my safe space where I could just walk around and not have to concentrate on anything else, but now when I'm at work it's even worse.

Right now I'm going through spells of worrying about money, frustrated at feeling like I'm a failure as a Dad and constantly having that niggle in the back of my mind my wife is getting sick of me and going to leave and it just won't go away, no matter how irrational it is. The worst part about it is that I'm thinking worst possible scenarios at the start of the day and letting them manifest and take hold of me almost everyday.

It just feels like I'm regressing mentally and finding it unbelievably difficult to find a way through this without either putting my marriage at risk by constantly pissing her off or losing my temper which seems to come to boil very quickly currently.

I don't think this time there is currently much anyone can do to help, but I just thought I would have a vent and try to be honest with myself and others.

Do you have any close mates you can talk to? I know it's a hard thing to open up about like but it's better than going on like you're fine. Have you spoken to your wife? Again, it's not easy.

Sorry about this post and yes I am getting help

However I really think the end of my battle is soon just thinking about chucking it in I’ve still went on and got on with it but it’s creeping in on me.

Feel so dejected and fed up of the world don’t even feel emotion anymore.

Hope you got to the doctor's bud. Honestly I've been here, it's fuuuuuckin shite. I still have bloody rotten dips but don't chuck it in bud. Let us know how you're getting on.

 

[Fred]

Just wanted a little think about what you've posted, before I answered. First of all you are not annoying anyone so take that right out of the equation, in fact everyone will be glad you are posting on here cos as @FatCat2402 says, you are reaching out, it is a a first step and shows you are thinking about how you are feeling.

You are very down on yourself at the moment, thinking everything you do is crap or annoying and tormenting yourself with worst case scenarios. Your self esteem has really taking a pummelling, by the sound of things.

Have you been to your G.P. have you any diagnosis.. sometimes all we can do is manage, and it's important we try and manage until we start to be able to cope and feel better again. Get to the doctors, ask about medication and maybe some CBT, even if you have tried it before always worth a top up to strengthen the (sorry about the cliche) tools you need to cope

I went to my GP and went through therapy about 2 years ago lasting about 6 months, but that was for a circumstance that happened in my life, not through fear and paranoia so it feels completely different this time. I've been doing the same again today and just letting it manifest and I can feel myself getting to the point where I'm thinking everything is real when I know it's just made up in my head, but no matter how much I do stuff like this and type it out or try to convince myself otherwise, it doesn't relent.

CBT probably sounds like a good idea but I just don't feel like I have it in me to fully explain all my fears and anxieties yet.

Do you have any close mates you can talk to? I know it's a hard thing to open up about like but it's better than going on like you're fine. Have you spoken to your wife? Again, it's not easy.

I do but I don't want to burden them. I'm the calm and relaxed one in the group so I don't know how they would react because they are all quite emotional people.

I just don't understand how I can be rational enough to think things like who I would talk to properly but not rational enough to play down these anxieties. I just feel completely lost.

 

[Parkmaverick]

Sorry to annoy everyone again but I'm probably having my worst and longest bout yet. I don't even think this is the right thread to be posting this in because I don't know what I would call this but depression is certainly one of my symptoms right now.

This bout has been ongoing for about 5 months now, which is by far the longest I've ever had, but it just seems to be getting worse by the day. Work used to be my safe space where I could just walk around and not have to concentrate on anything else, but now when I'm at work it's even worse.

Right now I'm going through spells of worrying about money, frustrated at feeling like I'm a failure as a Dad and constantly having that niggle in the back of my mind my wife is getting sick of me and going to leave and it just won't go away, no matter how irrational it is. The worst part about it is that I'm thinking worst possible scenarios at the start of the day and letting them manifest and take hold of me almost everyday.

It just feels like I'm regressing mentally and finding it unbelievably difficult to find a way through this without either putting my marriage at risk by constantly pissing her off or losing my temper which seems to come to boil very quickly currently.

I don't think this time there is currently much anyone can do to help, but I just thought I would have a vent and try to be honest with myself and others.

I don't know if you've tried this, sorry I haven't been on here for a while, but it sounds as if the sheer volume of everything is making it worse. Try and make each problem one that is more manageable where you can take small steps to fix it and get it written down when its on paper its real but when its in your head its loads worse.

 

[CPLforever]

I went to my GP and went through therapy about 2 years ago lasting about 6 months, but that was for a circumstance that happened in my life, not through fear and paranoia so it feels completely different this time. I've been doing the same again today and just letting it manifest and I can feel myself getting to the point where I'm thinking everything is real when I know it's just made up in my head, but no matter how much I do stuff like this and type it out or try to convince myself otherwise, it doesn't relent.

CBT probably sounds like a good idea but I just don't feel like I have it in me to fully explain all my fears and anxieties yet.

I do but I don't want to burden them. I'm the calm and relaxed one in the group so I don't know how they would react because they are all quite emotional people.

I just don't understand how I can be rational enough to think things like who I would talk to properly but not rational enough to play down these anxieties. I just feel completely lost.

Listen I have absolutely no idea what is happening but it definitely sounds different from your last episode which was depression caused by a situation.

Go to your doctor and describe Exactly what you wrote above. Fear, paranoia, manifesting into a sort of reality.

That doesn't sound like depression to me although depression takes many forms, so I really think you need to discuss further.

Keep posting.

 

[Parkmaverick]

I do but I don't want to burden them. I'm the calm and relaxed one in the group so I don't know how they would react because they are all quite emotional people.

I just don't understand how I can be rational enough to think things like who I would talk to properly but not rational enough to play down these anxieties. I just feel completely lost.

Its what mates are for and sometimes the ones you least expect it will be the ones that come through I learnt that.

 

[InsomniacAttack]

Without wanting to sound like a dick, if you want to discuss other posters/threads/social media etc, can you start another thread on it.

I’d like to believe that this thread has helped, and continues to help, so many people.

Turning it into a slagging match undermines what this thread is an all about and will potentially stop people coming on here who may need it.

There’s been 69 pages until now without issue. I’m not for one second suggesting that people whose mental wellbeing isn’t in the best place don’t post on here, but I think that referencing other posters/threads from this forum will naturally bring the conflict on to here.

Along the same lines, if you ever get grief off another poster referencing something you’ve posted on here, I’m sure the mods will take appropriate action.

This thread should be about a place for support and a safe place to discuss how you’re feeling.

If @RTGAdmin thinks this post is inappropriate, please feel free to delete it.

This is how the last thread ended up, needs to be taken elsewhere like.

 

[Baloo]

Its what mates are for and sometimes the ones you least expect it will be the ones that come through I learnt that.

@Fred think about if it was one of your mates feeling like you do. You’d want them to talk to you about it? It’s not burdening them, mates are there to help.

It’s up to you, but I’d also tell your wife how you’re feeling to explain why you’re losing your temper etc.

 

[Roker SOL]

I have been struggling since I was a teenager. Avoided the GP for years as I didn't like the idea of taking medication but last year I started SSRIs. They helped initially but more in just that they made me not give a shit anymore. My personal situation has got worse now though and is beyond repair.They did offer to refer me to talking therapies but I find it difficult to talk to people so I didn't take them up on it in the end.

Talking therapies was a big help to me, helping me to develop coping strategies for my ASD and potential AD-HD. Mind you, once I get going I can't stop talking.

And in other news, I have assessment dates with Problems Shared so for me shit has just got real. I've a retired mental health nurse looking over the informant forms, noting she can only help me with my adult life.

I'll admit I knocked back a few beers the other night after she talked to me (she now knows alot of personal struff about me she didn't before - but it needed to be said), but it was a one off knowing I needed some me time.