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Depression thread continued...

70s traveller said:
It's always back to my previous comments on other threads, have a drink to socialise but always stay in control. It's about knowing when to say no (to yourself), like everything in life.
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Aye so wise mate. The last time I got really hammered was when i got home after that night. When i'm socializing i'm much more in control and I would also add as a tip from my experience never drink alone for the sake of drinking.
 

InsomniacAttack said:
You have to give them time to work mate. 6 weeks minimum.
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I think I’m gonna try them again, everyone keeps saying the same but when it’s been my lass wey ex, and me family I’ve just thought they’re just saying it. Sounds daft but getting advice off people I don’t know online is working better for me. Feel I can open up more
 
Mallamore said:
I think I’m gonna try them again, everyone keeps saying the same but when it’s been my lass wey ex, and me family I’ve just thought they’re just saying it. Sounds daft but getting advice off people I don’t know online is working better for me. Feel I can open up more
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Everyone here will always be willing to lend an ear mate.
 
Mallamore said:
Struggling from this myself have done for years but I know a lot of it’s my own doing, tried the medication then end up flushing them after a few days. Any advice?
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There are many different types of medication and as someone said above, it can take over a month before you notice any difference.

Talk to your GP again, if you're having trouble articulating exactly what's wrong, make a list of all your problems and that should hopefully help them identify the medications that are more likely to work.
 
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Mallamore said:
Highly considering going to the group therapy sessions they host over the beacon
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I know the man who runs Andy's Man Club at the Beacon on Mondays and the lad who runs Space on Wednesdays and they are both lovely fellas. Also know one of the helpers in Space well and he's a really nice person. Briefly met the lad who runs Not a Statistic on Thursdays and he's canny too.

They all work together and pass people on to each other, so if you went to one and you didn't like it, it's fine to try another group instead.
 
Becs said:
I know the man who runs Andy's Man Club at the Beacon on Mondays and the lad who runs Space on Wednesdays and they are both lovely fellas. Also know one of the helpers in Space well and he's a really nice person. Briefly met the lad who runs Not a Statistic on Thursdays and he's canny too.

They all work together and pass people on to each other, so if you went to one and you didn't like it, it's fine to try another group instead.
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Think I’m gonna bite the bullet and go to one mate, feels a bit daunting but needs must.

Haven’t polluted me body in over 10 days and back exercising so feeling better. Only thing is I was gonna knock drink on the head but I have a date tomorrow and don’t know if to drink non-alcoholic or maybe have a few knowing it won’t get daft! Only issue is I do t wanna scare the lass off and explain why I’m not drinking. Would appreciate any advice if possible please lads/lasses
 
Mallamore said:
Think I’m gonna bite the bullet and go to one mate, feels a bit daunting but needs must.

Haven’t polluted me body in over 10 days and back exercising so feeling better. Only thing is I was gonna knock drink on the head but I have a date tomorrow and don’t know if to drink non-alcoholic or maybe have a few knowing it won’t get daft! Only issue is I do t wanna scare the lass off and explain why I’m not drinking. Would appreciate any advice if possible please lads/lasses
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If you explain to the lass you'll only get respect. Whether you have one or two controlled drinks to control the pressure & so she's not drinking alone it can only go down well...that's not a sordid first date comment :lol: Good luck with it all.
 
70s traveller said:
If you explain to the lass you'll only get respect. Whether you have one or two controlled drinks to control the pressure & so she's not drinking alone it can only go down well...that's not a sordid first date comment :lol: Good luck with it all.
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Cheers mate. Just don’t want her thinking I’m a space cadet projecting all me issues on the first time meeting haha, think I’ll have a few Guinness to take the edge off then take it from there!
 
Mallamore said:
Think I’m gonna bite the bullet and go to one mate, feels a bit daunting but needs must.

Haven’t polluted me body in over 10 days and back exercising so feeling better. Only thing is I was gonna knock drink on the head but I have a date tomorrow and don’t know if to drink non-alcoholic or maybe have a few knowing it won’t get daft! Only issue is I do t wanna scare the lass off and explain why I’m not drinking. Would appreciate any advice if possible please lads/lasses
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It can feel daunting going in, especially if the Beacon is busy with other groups going on and people going in and out. I know Not A Statistic will send someone out to bring you inside if you feel nervous walking into the building. The other two would probably help like that too, if that puts your mind at rest.

Would you be happier on a walk rather than a meeting? Space were doing walks down the sea front on weekends. I can ask my friend if they're still doing that and the times if you want to go.

Not drinking wouldn't bother me. I've got crohn's and don't always drink depending on how I'm feeling.
 
Becs said:
I know the man who runs Andy's Man Club at the Beacon on Mondays and the lad who runs Space on Wednesdays and they are both lovely fellas. Also know one of the helpers in Space well and he's a really nice person. Briefly met the lad who runs Not a Statistic on Thursdays and he's canny too.

They all work together and pass people on to each other, so if you went to one and you didn't like it, it's fine to try another group instead.
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Lad who runs space has now joined the fol in regards of the game of ii halves. Is it TK the helper?
 
Mallamore said:
Cheers mate. Just don’t want her thinking I’m a space cadet projecting all me issues on the first time meeting haha, think I’ll have a few Guinness to take the edge off then take it from there!
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Good sense, you have to make a friend of her first. What you end up leading her into is totally down to you ;) (A) Gentlemanly first (b) all hell breaks loose when she batters you - but take it all gradually. That's life :lol: Have a good evening.
 
Right, so quite an update.

Kilimanjaro climb done, counselling finished, toxic ex-lady friend offloaded for good. All more relaxed. I was coming to terms with my neurodiversity, my mild autism, dyspraxia and potentially mild ADHD.

However work (I'm a Civil Servant) has told me out of the blue I'm to be moved to another team where I'll have to retrain. I was given a choice of two, one option known as being toxic so I said I'd take the other. There was no consultation, I was just told.

My immediate manager has been told the same, with her going to a different team. She's tried to reassure me and she did quite well on the empathy stakes in, at the time, settling me down.

However, there's a rumour she's challenged her own move and seeing her in an office with someone I gather to be a senior manager seems to bear out the rumour. The exchange was heated let's say.

I was hoping for a quiet few months before any major changes and feel this has come at just the wrong time for me. It feels as though to some senior managers, my mental health issues have not even been considered and people with even limited autism don't always cope well with outwardly-imposed change. Through in the previous mental heath issues and the last few days, I've struggled with all this. I'm going to be taken away to some degree from people I know and trust. In addition, I thought I was safe as I'd just become the subject matter lead in one area of my job.

Another gent asked to leave the team, so I'm wondering why I can't just stay in his place? My manager said his leaving had been accounted for.

A small part of me has even thought of talking to the union rep. and asking advice. I just want all this to go away and be left alone for a few months while I truely get back on my feet.

A minor knock-back that hasn't helped is that I tried but failed to get back onto a specialist volunatry support group that meant a lot to me. The imposed move between teams didn't help with this.

I feel the last few months has in part been for nothing as I've worked bloody hard trying to sort myself out. My manager recognises this, but obviously the higher ups do not.

An overheard conversation ages ago suggests one of the senior managers does not believe my diagnosis. I've consequently given my patient copy of my diagnostic report to my line manager.

What is someone with autism supposed to look like?
 
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Roker SOL said:
Right, so quite an update.

Kilimanjaro climb done, counselling finished, toxic ex-lady friend offloaded for good. All more relaxed. I was coming to terms with my neurodiversity, my mild autism, dyspraxia and potentially mild ADHD.

However work (I'm a Civil Servant) has told me out of the blue I'm to be moved to another team where I'll have to retrain. I was given a choice of two, one option known as being toxic so I said I'd take the other. There was no consultation, I was just told.

My immediate manager has been told the same, with her going to a different team. She's tried to reassure me and she did quite well on the empathy stakes in, at the time, settling me down.

However, there's a rumour she's challenged her own move and seeing her in an office with someone I gather to be a senior manager seems to bear out the rumour. The exchange was heated let's say.

I was hoping for a quiet few months before any major changes and feel this has come at just the wrong time for me. It feels as though to some senior managers, my mental health issues have not even been considered and people with even limited autism don't always cope well with outwardly-imposed change. Through in the previous mental heath issues and the last few days, I've struggled with all this. I'm going to be taken away to some degree from people I know and trust. In addition, I thought I was safe as I'd just become the subject matter lead in one area of my job.

Another gent asked to leave the team, so I'm wondering why I can't just stay in his place? My manager said his leaving had been accounted for.

A small part of me has even thought of talking to the union rep. and asking advice. I just want all this to go away and be left alone for a few months while I truely get back on my feet.

A minor knock-back that hasn't helped is that I tried but failed to get back onto a specialist volunatry support group that meant a lot to me. The imposed move between teams didn't help with this.

I feel the last few months has in part been for nothing as I've worked bloody hard trying to sort myself out. My manager recognises this, but obviously the higher ups do not.

An overheard conversation ages ago suggests one of the senior managers does not believe my diagnosis. I've consequently given my patient copy of my diagnostic report to my line manager.

What is someone with autism supposed to look like?
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Have a good think, it's your life and you need to be able to live with yourself, blow the uneducated gossip, that's what people are. I can see why some don't accept a medical diagnosis & a person's capabilities to carry out what they're being paid for, also the legacy of those that claim to have some condition to get out of things.
 
More bad news today. Seems to be a constant at the minute.
Roker SOL said:
Right, so quite an update.

Kilimanjaro climb done, counselling finished, toxic ex-lady friend offloaded for good. All more relaxed. I was coming to terms with my neurodiversity, my mild autism, dyspraxia and potentially mild ADHD.

However work (I'm a Civil Servant) has told me out of the blue I'm to be moved to another team where I'll have to retrain. I was given a choice of two, one option known as being toxic so I said I'd take the other. There was no consultation, I was just told.

My immediate manager has been told the same, with her going to a different team. She's tried to reassure me and she did quite well on the empathy stakes in, at the time, settling me down.

However, there's a rumour she's challenged her own move and seeing her in an office with someone I gather to be a senior manager seems to bear out the rumour. The exchange was heated let's say.

I was hoping for a quiet few months before any major changes and feel this has come at just the wrong time for me. It feels as though to some senior managers, my mental health issues have not even been considered and people with even limited autism don't always cope well with outwardly-imposed change. Through in the previous mental heath issues and the last few days, I've struggled with all this. I'm going to be taken away to some degree from people I know and trust. In addition, I thought I was safe as I'd just become the subject matter lead in one area of my job.

Another gent asked to leave the team, so I'm wondering why I can't just stay in his place? My manager said his leaving had been accounted for.

A small part of me has even thought of talking to the union rep. and asking advice. I just want all this to go away and be left alone for a few months while I truely get back on my feet.

A minor knock-back that hasn't helped is that I tried but failed to get back onto a specialist volunatry support group that meant a lot to me. The imposed move between teams didn't help with this.

I feel the last few months has in part been for nothing as I've worked bloody hard trying to sort myself out. My manager recognises this, but obviously the higher ups do not.

An overheard conversation ages ago suggests one of the senior managers does not believe my diagnosis. I've consequently given my patient copy of my diagnostic report to my line manager.

What is someone with autism supposed to look like?
Click to expand...
Considering the issues you have you're achieving amazing things mate. Quite inspiring.
 
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70s traveller said:
Have a good think, it's your life and you need to be able to live with yourself, blow the uneducated gossip, that's what people are. I can see why some don't accept a medical diagnosis & a person's capabilities to carry out what they're being paid for, also the legacy of those that claim to have some condition to get out of things.
Click to expand...
A possible reason for one or two disbelieving me goes back two years.

For a few months, I had an interesting micro-manager who refused to believe I had what I then thought was AD-HD. I described symptoms I know know to be Autistic. It led to union involvement and eventually time on sick. Micro-managing someone with autism is a no no and led to my work at times being majorly affected. I was also queried about things I never did.

That manager was on point of being moved on but left themselves before they could be. That manager also ended up in a battle with at least one other person and wasn't the most popular.

The problem is things that manager placed on my record and can't see are still being taken ad verbatim. A recent example is I spotted a problem with a procedure and it took ages to be taken seriously and only when two others on a call backed me up. I also know some notes about me are incorrect. This is why I now make sure things I say are backed up with physical proof.

As said, I've worked bloody hard to put things right. That includes 20 counselling sessions with NHS Talking Therapies, 14 of those face-to-face.

Writing this, perhaps a fresh start with the new team is the right thing after all. A senior manager involved at the time is still there.

But the friends I mentioned are effectively part of my support network.
 
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