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Depression thread continued...

Turner the Cat said:
Feels like you're a bit worried about possible side effects. Tbh I've taken 3 different anti depressants and never had any early side effects. The worrying bit for me was more coming off anti depressants than going on them!

Yeah, its good for you to be prepared if there are side effects but if possible, try not to dwell or worry about side effects that might not even happen. Instead, I think its healthier to focus on the positive changes the meds can help you with.

If you havent already then it might be worth reading the reviews online which are overwhelmingly positive but especially focus on the positive ones (which the majority are). There are many people who talk about how the meds have helped transform their lives which can really inspire, motivate and build your confidence in the medication and what it can do for you.

You must be logged on to see external links
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I've read a few and people's experiences on here and it's put me at ease. I'm just about to have breakfast then take my first one so I'll find out soon enough.
 

Ciro_DiMarzio said:
Just a question for people with experience. I've been reading the side effects for Seteraline. I'm picking my prescription up tomorrow but would I be better off waiting until Saturday to start taking them so I'm not caught out with side effects straight away at work?
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Most of the milder side effects only last for a couple of weeksbtill your body adjusts, they should lessen after a time.
 
Ciro_DiMarzio said:
I've tried again today and it has let me do the online consultation and I should get a response today or tomorrow. I know phoning up would probably get a quicker response but if I was asked the questions the online consultation asks over the phone I would have panicked. Nervous about the response but it's taken me years and years just to manage to be able to make the first step so atleast it's something.
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That's the best f***ing news I've had in ages.
Ciro_DiMarzio said:
I've read a few and people's experiences on here and it's put me at ease. I'm just about to have breakfast then take my first one so I'll find out soon enough.
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Starting sertraline for me was like all the worst bits of taking an E. Clenched jaw, sweating, etc. My pupils even dilated.

Your body sharp gets used to it though. Try and stick with them even if you feel shite cos they can take up to 6 weeks to work.

And well done for making the leap and getting help. Feels weird to be proud of a lad av never met but... Ya kna
 
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CPLforever said:
Most of the milder side effects only last for a couple of weeksbtill your body adjusts, they should lessen after a time.
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InsomniacAttack said:
That's the best f***ing news I've had in ages.

Starting sertraline for me was like all the worst bits of taking an E. Clenched jaw, sweating, etc. My pupils even dilated.

Your body sharp gets used to it though. Try and stick with them even if you feel shite cos they can take up to 6 weeks to work.

And well done for making the leap and getting help. Feels weird to be proud of a lad av never met but... Ya kna
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Aye my jaw is nacking. Kind of felt like I was having a dodgy come up then skipped the good bit and now I feel like I'm on a chilled come down. Had a bad belly as well.
 
Ciro_DiMarzio said:
SIde effects have been brutal all week but today seemed to let up a bit. Worst one is my legs feeling like jelly. I have to stand all day at work so it's been brutal. Hopefully I am over the worst. I appreciate you asking marra, Thank you.
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Maybe another week of side effects getting less worse and less worse every day. Then, hopefully, mood stability, less anxiousness and no more side effects.

You are doing great.
 
Update for me.

Relationship is over. We met and talked and whilst she doesn't believe I would ever hurt her (some small comfort at least), my behaviour that night has put a doubt in her mind that she can't ignore. With her past trauma I completely understand and it absolutely kills me that I made her feel that way, even if was only once, and I have to respect that. I really, really hoped she might accept that it was out of character for me, but I think the combination of that and the time and place was too much for her.

We parted on good terms, she wishes me all the best and says she doesn't regret out relationship, but I still feel absolutely gutted by guilt and that it's over between us when we've had a good relationship, albeit with the usual trials and tribulations and some stressful times but we supported each other through them.

I've had my first counselling session which was productive I think, and put my GP in the loop. He said best thing is to do the counselling before he recommends anything else. Relatively speaking, I'm better than I was a week ago, but I still feel absolutely awful which obviously isn't helping with the wider issue.

I'm just trying to get back into he swing of things now. Back to work, talking to family and friends who've all been amazing and trying to work on where this came from and more importantly how to actually deal with my feelings rather than ignoring them until they boil over.
 
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Tadger said:
I'm just trying to get back into he swing of things now. Back to work, talking to family and friends who've all been amazing and trying to work on where this came from and more importantly how to actually deal with my feelings rather than ignoring them until they boil over.
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Best way of looking at it, accept it as part of your past and move forward. Remain positive, life goes on. Better times ARE ahead although you probably can't see it at the minute.
 
Tadger said:
Update for me.

Relationship is over. We met and talked and whilst she doesn't believe I would ever hurt her (some small comfort at least), my behaviour that night has put a doubt in her mind that she can't ignore. With her past trauma I completely understand and it absolutely kills me that I made her feel that way, even if was only once, and I have to respect that. I really, really hoped she might accept that it was out of character for me, but I think the combination of that and the time and place was too much for her.

We parted on good terms, she wishes me all the best and says she doesn't regret out relationship, but I still feel absolutely gutted by guilt and that it's over between us when we've had a good relationship, albeit with the usual trials and tribulations and some stressful times but we supported each other through them.

I've had my first counselling session which was productive I think, and put my GP in the loop. He said best thing is to do the counselling before he recommends anything else. Relatively speaking, I'm better than I was a week ago, but I still feel absolutely awful which obviously isn't helping with the wider issue.

I'm just trying to get back into he swing of things now. Back to work, talking to family and friends who've all been amazing and trying to work on where this came from and more importantly how to actually deal with my feelings rather than ignoring them until they boil over.
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Sorry to hear that mate. It's just how you end up after you've been in a DV relationship. Red flags become more prominent and you go into a survival mode which means distancing yourself from the person. If you want to speak further to help understand her perspective, PM me.

Best of luck with the counselling. It's good you're taking steps to help yourself heal from this. It's tough now, but things will get easier as time passes. Look after yourself xx
 
Becs said:
Sorry to hear that mate. It's just how you end up after you've been in a DV relationship. Red flags become more prominent and you go into a survival mode which means distancing yourself from the person. If you want to speak further to help understand her perspective, PM me.

Best of luck with the counselling. It's good you're taking steps to help yourself heal from this. It's tough now, but things will get easier as time passes. Look after yourself xx
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Thanks.

As much I'll never truly know what's it like, I understand why she feels the way she does. As much as it hurts me, I know it'll be hurting her even more. She was supposed to be able to rely on me and I let her down.
 
So the lady I was meeting up with. A strange twist.

A relative of hers has been snooping around my social media. They have 5 different accounts / profiles on Facebook alone.

They've not been using their main profile, but using their extra profiles to look.

She was not supposed to be on speaking terms with this person, so it appears she's lied to me on this too.

I've blocked all profiles now and hopefully this is an end to it.

First she wants rid of me. So I ignore her for months then this happens. It appears she's an attention seeker who needs to stoke up a bit of drama for her own enjoyment.

Someone blocked her January and she seemed to enjoy it when I was still talking to her.

I just want to be left alone by her and definitely after this. I've my own mental health to sort in finally coming to terms with my ASD and this does not help.
Tadger said:
Thanks.

As much I'll never truly know what's it like, I understand why she feels the way she does. As much as it hurts me, I know it'll be hurting her even more. She was supposed to be able to rely on me and I let her down.
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Trust is a big deal and once someone breaks that trust in any way, then it's difficult to come back from that. That applies in your ex's case particularly as she's been in abusive relationships.

All you can do is move on, accept the counselling and learn the lessons for a future relationship so mistakes aren't repeated.

The lass I was meeting up with has in retrospect is someone I can't trust. I've my own issues which I am moving to resolve. But I need someone I can rely one and she wasn't it as I now wonder how much she told me was lies.

Simlarly, your ex needs someone she can rely on. And perhaps after counselling you can be that person too for a future partner. But you must heal yourself first as I myself have been trying to do.

We can ignore problems as much as we like, but eventually they come back and we must deal with them. That is the lesson I have learned and for that, the people around me I must be able to trust.
 
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Roker SOL said:
So the lady I was meeting up with. A strange twist.

A relative of hers has been snooping around my social media. They have 5 different accounts / profiles on Facebook alone.

They've not been using their main profile, but using their extra profiles to look.

She was not supposed to be on speaking terms with this person, so it appears she's lied to me on this too.

I've blocked all profiles now and hopefully this is an end to it.

First she wants rid of me. So I ignore her for months then this happens. It appears she's an attention seeker who needs to stoke up a bit of drama for her own enjoyment.

Someone blocked her January and she seemed to enjoy it when I was still talking to her.

I just want to be left alone by her and definitely after this. I've my own mental health to sort in finally coming to terms with my ASD and this does not help.

Trust is a big deal and once someone breaks that trust in any way, then it's difficult to come back from that. That applies in your ex's case particularly as she's been in abusive relationships.

All you can do is move on, accept the counselling and learn the lessons for a future relationship so mistakes aren't repeated.

The lass I was meeting up with has in retrospect is someone I can't trust. I've my own issues which I am moving to resolve. But I need someone I can rely one and she wasn't it as I now wonder how much she told me was lies.

Simlarly, your ex needs someone she can rely on. And perhaps after counselling you can be that person too for a future partner. But you must heal yourself first as I myself have been trying to do.

We can ignore problems as much as we like, but eventually they come back and we must deal with them. That is the lesson I have learned and for that, the people around me I must be able to trust.
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It helps to keep profiles private and only add people you know.
 
googleboogle said:
It helps to keep profiles private and only add people you know.
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Understood and the really private stuff is hidden.

I had my profile locked so friend requests could only come from friends of friends. That's when I became aware of the snooping as I temporarily opened up my profile to allow requests from new friends - people I'd actually met.

This lass's relative wasn't even subtle and not the brightest as he'd even used his real name.
 
Roker SOL said:
So the lady I was meeting up with. A strange twist.

A relative of hers has been snooping around my social media. They have 5 different accounts / profiles on Facebook alone.

They've not been using their main profile, but using their extra profiles to look.

She was not supposed to be on speaking terms with this person, so it appears she's lied to me on this too.

I've blocked all profiles now and hopefully this is an end to it.

First she wants rid of me. So I ignore her for months then this happens. It appears she's an attention seeker who needs to stoke up a bit of drama for her own enjoyment.

Someone blocked her January and she seemed to enjoy it when I was still talking to her.

I just want to be left alone by her and definitely after this. I've my own mental health to sort in finally coming to terms with my ASD and this does not help.

Trust is a big deal and once someone breaks that trust in any way, then it's difficult to come back from that. That applies in your ex's case particularly as she's been in abusive relationships.

All you can do is move on, accept the counselling and learn the lessons for a future relationship so mistakes aren't repeated.

The lass I was meeting up with has in retrospect is someone I can't trust. I've my own issues which I am moving to resolve. But I need someone I can rely one and she wasn't it as I now wonder how much she told me was lies.

Simlarly, your ex needs someone she can rely on. And perhaps after counselling you can be that person too for a future partner. But you must heal yourself first as I myself have been trying to do.

We can ignore problems as much as we like, but eventually they come back and we must deal with them. That is the lesson I have learned and for that, the people around me I must be able to trust.
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It's just incredibly difficult when I've spent the best part of three years trying to be the most supportive partner I could have been. I was by no means perfect but I was never abusive or controlling and made it my mission to support her as much as I could, precisely because I love her and she deserved it.

Don't get me wrong, I completely understand why she's reacted the way she has and I'm not resentful of it, but it's just hard to accept that 2 1/2 years has been undone by 10 minutes of me having a meltdown, particularly when it's never happened before.

As you say, all I can do is move on and get some help and do some reflection. Thankfully I've got a brilliant support network and plenty of people around me who have been fantastic.
 
Tadger said:
It's just incredibly difficult when I've spent the best part of three years trying to be the most supportive partner I could have been. I was by no means perfect but I was never abusive or controlling and made it my mission to support her as much as I could, precisely because I love her and she deserved it.

Don't get me wrong, I completely understand why she's reacted the way she has and I'm not resentful of it, but it's just hard to accept that 2 1/2 years has been undone by 10 minutes of me having a meltdown, particularly when it's never happened before.

As you say, all I can do is move on and get some help and do some reflection. Thankfully I've got a brilliant support network and plenty of people around me who have been fantastic.
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Learn from it. All people are different so look at the brighter parts for yourself & don't be brought down by the past.
 
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