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Depression thread continued...


Tadger said:
For the first time in my life I've had to ask for help. Its highly likely I've ruined my relationship with my partner.

I haven't been feeling great for a while now, feelings of inadequacy, not being good enough etc and just ignoring it and pretending it's not there. I've also felt that there was something not right with our relationship for a while, like there wasn't anything obviously wrong as such, but I never mentioned it. She's had a lot of trauma in her life and I've always tried to be a rock for her, support her anyway I could. Yeah we've had disagreements, but we didn't argue and I certainly never acted agreesively towards her or anyone else in my family.

We were at her best friends wedding at the weekend and everything was fine, she was having a great time and so was I. I had a fair bit to drink and then towards the end of the night I just got this tight, knitting feeling in my chest which turned into a fear then anger. I'd be on my own for a while whilst she was with her mates and normally that wouldn't bother me at all but I just completely lost my rag. I was abrasive, and intimidating, asking where she was, slamming my chair and being an absolute prick. I came to my senses but by then the damage was done. She was understandably mortified, embarrassed and hurt by me behaving like that at her friend's wedding party.

The worst thing is that she said that I scared her. She's been in abusive relationships before and always tried to be sensitive to that and treat her how she deserved to be treated, and whatever was going on in my head at that moment, I never wanted to make her scared of me. But that's what has happened and now she says she doesn't think she can forgive me.

I don't know what's going to happen now, but I've spoken to family and and know I need help. I've got issues that need addressing and I need to face up to them. I've arranged some counselling through work and spent an hour on the phone with a fella who helped talk me through some stuff, and I'm going to get some face to face counselling.

I just feel like the biggest piece of shit at the moment and the feelings of guilt are eating me up inside. But the one positive is that it's made me realise I need help and have probably needed it for a long time.
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Sorry to hear what has happened. Sometimes these things come to a head at the inappropriate times. Don't beat yourself up about what happened. If you'd randomly caught a stomach bug and had to rush off to be sick at the wedding, people would probably be sympathetic. This is just the same except it's your brain that's a bit poorly and the symptoms can come out in a way that cause problems rather than sympathy.

Writing things down can help. Even if you just go back and read it with a clear head later, it can give you clarity sometimes.

How you feeling today?

Plenty people on here if you feel you want to talk to someone. Take care xx
Ciro_DiMarzio said:
Just a question for people with experience. I've been reading the side effects for Seteraline. I'm picking my prescription up tomorrow but would I be better off waiting until Saturday to start taking them so I'm not caught out with side effects straight away at work?
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I think it's a psychological thing starting them on the weekend in case of side effects. I've been like that before with things.

Well done on going to the GP and trying something. That's a big step and I'm glad you've made it.

Keep plodding on pet. We're all with you xx
 
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Becs said:
Sorry to hear what has happened. Sometimes these things come to a head at the inappropriate times. Don't beat yourself up about what happened. If you'd randomly caught a stomach bug and had to rush off to be sick at the wedding, people would probably be sympathetic. This is just the same except it's your brain that's a bit poorly and the symptoms can come out in a way that cause problems rather than sympathy.

Writing things down can help. Even if you just go back and read it with a clear head later, it can give you clarity sometimes.

Plenty people on here if you feel you want to talk to someone. Take care xx


I think it's a psychological thing starting them on the weekend in case of side effects. I've been like that before with things.

Well done on going to the GP and trying something. That's a big step and I'm glad you've made it.

Keep plodding on pet. We're all with you xx
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Very relevant points, stick something on here if you just need a contact. Becs' last lines in responses above are right, sometimes just a few words can help when you're feeling low. There are quite a few that have experience so will respond.
 
Ciro_DiMarzio said:
Just a question for people with experience. I've been reading the side effects for Seteraline. I'm picking my prescription up tomorrow but would I be better off waiting until Saturday to start taking them so I'm not caught out with side effects straight away at work?
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I’m on sertraline, it has helped me enormously. I had really bad headaches for the first couple of weeks then they tailed off and disappeared completely. Please persevere with them and give them time to kick in and the side effects to wear off, if they don’t suit you there are so many others they can try you on, a lot of the time it’s trial and error.
I really hope they help you x
 
Amber said:
I’m on sertraline, it has helped me enormously. I had really bad headaches for the first couple of weeks then they tailed off and disappeared completely. Please persevere with them and give them time to kick in and the side effects to wear off, if they don’t suit you there are so many others they can try you on, a lot of the time it’s trial and error.
I really hope they help you x
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Medication side effects do gradually wear off and there are always others that may suit someone better that do the same thing. The BNF lists most things to do with all regulated meds inc alternatives.
 
Amber said:
I’m on sertraline, it has helped me enormously. I had really bad headaches for the first couple of weeks then they tailed off and disappeared completely. Please persevere with them and give them time to kick in and the side effects to wear off, if they don’t suit you there are so many others they can try you on, a lot of the time it’s trial and error.
I really hope they help you x
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Thanks for the reply. That's put me at ease a bit.
Becs said:
Sorry to hear what has happened. Sometimes these things come to a head at the inappropriate times. Don't beat yourself up about what happened. If you'd randomly caught a stomach bug and had to rush off to be sick at the wedding, people would probably be sympathetic. This is just the same except it's your brain that's a bit poorly and the symptoms can come out in a way that cause problems rather than sympathy.

Writing things down can help. Even if you just go back and read it with a clear head later, it can give you clarity sometimes.

How you feeling today?

Plenty people on here if you feel you want to talk to someone. Take care xx


I think it's a psychological thing starting them on the weekend in case of side effects. I've been like that before with things.

Well done on going to the GP and trying something. That's a big step and I'm glad you've made it.

Keep plodding on pet. We're all with you xx
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I'm just going to start them on Saturday. It's took me so long to pull my finger out that another day or two won't matter. I'm hoping I will not stop being so worried about phoning the doctor in future. If only I could book my vasectomy online as that a different kind of embarrassing appointment. :lol:
 
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Ciro_DiMarzio said:
Thanks for the reply. That's put me at ease a bit.

I'm just going to start them on Saturday. It's took me so long to pull my finger out that another day or two won't matter. I'm hoping I will not stop being so worried about phoning the doctor in future. If only I could book my vasectomy online as that a different kind of embarrassing appointment. :lol:
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Well done mate.

Just to put it into context - 8.6 million people were prescribed antidepressants in England in 2022/23. Thats nearly 1 in 6 people.

Often antidepressants can feel like a taboo subject but theyre really common and since theyre really common, the significant majority taking them are functioning absolutely fine with no adverse effects.

I had problems with fatigue on SRRIs but switched to an SNRI and so far so good. Most likely you'll be absolutely fine but if not, they can try something else.
 
Becs said:
Sorry to hear what has happened. Sometimes these things come to a head at the inappropriate times. Don't beat yourself up about what happened. If you'd randomly caught a stomach bug and had to rush off to be sick at the wedding, people would probably be sympathetic. This is just the same except it's your brain that's a bit poorly and the symptoms can come out in a way that cause problems rather than sympathy.

Writing things down can help. Even if you just go back and read it with a clear head later, it can give you clarity sometimes.

How you feeling today?

Plenty people on here if you feel you want to talk to someone. Take care xx
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Thanks.

A bit better today, going to go into work today and see how I get on.
 
I’m just checking in - still marching on, jobs going well and I’m one exam away from finishing my qualification. Made a huge difference having that to focus on like.

Found a picture I’d taken this time last year of myself where I was absolutely rock bottom after being rejected from another job application. Nice to look at and realise how far I’ve come like.

Hope everyone else is doing okay
 
Ciro_DiMarzio said:
Thanks for the reply. That's put me at ease a bit.

I'm just going to start them on Saturday. It's took me so long to pull my finger out that another day or two won't matter. I'm hoping I will not stop being so worried about phoning the doctor in future. If only I could book my vasectomy online as that a different kind of embarrassing appointment. :lol:
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Sertraline made me feel mental for at least a week when I started taking them. Felt like my head was a massive balloon. Proper weird and very disconcerting. I just felt not right and almost not part of the world around me. Then it cleared up and I had no other side effects.

So if you start taking them and things don’t feel quite right, persevere, it should settle. Keep talking though, as that helped me get through the initial sensations as my brain was settling down.
 
jedi_toaster said:
Sertraline made me feel mental for at least a week when I started taking them. Felt like my head was a massive balloon. Proper weird and very disconcerting. I just felt not right and almost not part of the world around me. Then it cleared up and I had no other side effects.

So if you start taking them and things don’t feel quite right, persevere, it should settle. Keep talking though, as that helped me get through the initial sensations as my brain was settling down.
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Was it so severe that you couldn't work? Obviously concentration is pretty important in your line of work.
 
Ciro_DiMarzio said:
Well I'm going to inform HR at work I'm taking them on Monday. If I need a few days off then so be it.
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I found that constantly reminding myself and assuring myself that the weird feeling was entirely caused by the tablets and not me being mental helped. And telling people about the weird sensations helped keep it in perspective.
 
jedi_toaster said:
I found that constantly reminding myself and assuring myself that the weird feeling was entirely caused by the tablets and not me being mental helped. And telling people about the weird sensations helped keep it in perspective.
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It's the concentration thing I'm worried about mate. Manual job so potential for injury if I feel off my tits.
 
Ciro_DiMarzio said:
It's the concentration thing I'm worried about mate. Manual job so potential for injury if I feel off my tits.
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It did make me feel a bit spacey, so yeah, I’d take a few days off. It might not even affect you like that, but most people I’ve spoken to said the first week was a struggle. Often talk to my customers about it if they declare it on their pre-tattoo form. Everyone agrees it was worth it though, so stick with it bruv. 👍
 
My first few days on Sertraline absolutely floored me, I was in hospital at the time but there would have been no way I'd have been able to work through them. It eased pretty quickly after that though.
 
Ciro_DiMarzio said:
It's the concentration thing I'm worried about mate. Manual job so potential for injury if I feel off my tits.
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Feels like you're a bit worried about possible side effects. Tbh I've taken 3 different anti depressants and never had any early side effects. The worrying bit for me was more coming off anti depressants than going on them!

Yeah, its good for you to be prepared if there are side effects but if possible, try not to dwell or worry about side effects that might not even happen. Instead, I think its healthier to focus on the positive changes the meds can help you with.

If you havent already then it might be worth reading the reviews online which are overwhelmingly positive but especially focus on the positive ones (which the majority are). There are many people who talk about how the meds have helped transform their lives which can really inspire, motivate and build your confidence in the medication and what it can do for you.

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