Depression

[lucky]

So down tonight, a week long visit from a friend and his wife who I've known for 55 years. A gentle laughter filled soul and his mind is going, and it's quite noticeable, and at one point he reared up at his wife and this was so out of character to the person he once was.
It feels like a bereavement.
He and I used to hang out with another guy in the 60's and 70's who has been in a slough of anxiety and depression ever since his first daughter died some years ago.
Ma in law is ageing badly, withdrawn, again incredibly anxious and depressed and my other half has had to go back to England for a while to try and sort her.
So I'm sitting here alone, I'm looking back over premature bereavements, lovers and friends gone before, and life just really seems to be a series of continual losses-
I've had reactive depression before but have just always had sufficient resouces not to spiral down.
And tonight... feels very painful. A f***ing great wall of grief-
Is serial loss somehow accumulative because I thought I'd dealt with most of this years ago?
Or is it seeing my dear friend so reduced and realising I'm not immortal.

Thanks for the space to express all this.

take care my mate.

 

[Chubbs]

So down tonight, a week long visit from a friend and his wife who I've known for 55 years. A gentle laughter filled soul and his mind is going, and it's quite noticeable, and at one point he reared up at his wife and this was so out of character to the person he once was.
It feels like a bereavement.
He and I used to hang out with another guy in the 60's and 70's who has been in a slough of anxiety and depression ever since his first daughter died some years ago.
Ma in law is ageing badly, withdrawn, again incredibly anxious and depressed and my other half has had to go back to England for a while to try and sort her.
So I'm sitting here alone, I'm looking back over premature bereavements, lovers and friends gone before, and life just really seems to be a series of continual losses-
I've had reactive depression before but have just always had sufficient resouces not to spiral down.
And tonight... feels very painful. A f***ing great wall of grief-
Is serial loss somehow accumulative because I thought I'd dealt with most of this years ago?
Or is it seeing my dear friend so reduced and realising I'm not immortal.

Thanks for the space to express all this.

Premature bereavement is horrendous mate. 4 from my school year gone already and I'm only 36. Other friends gone as well and certain dates stick in my head for all the wrong reasons unfortunately.

What works for me in those situations is remembering the good times with them (I know it's a cliché)

Seeing a friend deteriate infront of you must be awful, my wife's nan had dementia and they get taken away from you peice by peice. It feels like a bereavement because it is one. Good days and bad days unfortunately mate.

I know I'm waffling but hope you're alright.

 

[rey mysterio]

Update - looking back I always feel at my worst when I am unemployed. Throwing myself into work has always been my escape from everything else. At least I was earning and (usually) doing something I was good at.

Had a decent weekend but just been knocked down again. Bank beginning with a B have told me that I have somehow failed their screening with them (taken nearly two month since I was offered it and the managers said my previous dismissal wouldn’t have an impact) but their offshore HR team won’t tell me why other than it relates to this dismissal.

Feels like I’ve been talking to a wall for the last six weeks. Trying to stay positive but I’ve applied for hundreds of jobs and no one seemingly wants to know. I’ve had interviews but despite people claiming they want to work with me I’ve had no firm offers. And when I do get offers I’ve been arsed about for months.

Feels like I’m treading water with a ball and chain at the minute. Causing loads of arguments and stress with family now. I’m trying to stay positive but I feel I’m one step away from a full on breakdown.

My first job I walked into a factory, the gaffer looked at me, asked me if I could carry stuff and follow drawings and said start on Monday. How times have changed in 12 years.

 

[TAD]

Update - looking back I always feel at my worst when I am unemployed. Throwing myself into work has always been my escape from everything else. At least I was earning and (usually) doing something I was good at.

Had a decent weekend but just been knocked down again. Bank beginning with a B have told me that I have somehow failed their screening with them (taken nearly two month since I was offered it and the managers said my previous dismissal wouldn’t have an impact) but their offshore HR team won’t tell me why other than it relates to this dismissal.

Feels like I’ve been talking to a wall for the last six weeks. Trying to stay positive but I’ve applied for hundreds of jobs and no one seemingly wants to know. I’ve had interviews but despite people claiming they want to work with me I’ve had no firm offers. And when I do get offers I’ve been arsed about for months.

Feels like I’m treading water with a ball and chain at the minute. Causing loads of arguments and stress with family now. I’m trying to stay positive but I feel I’m one step away from a full on breakdown.

My first job I walked into a factory, the gaffer looked at me, asked me if I could carry stuff and follow drawings and said start on Monday. How times have changed in 12 years.

Sorry to hear all that. I would suggest thinking about signing up with some agencies if you haven't already gone down that route.

 

[lucky]

Update - looking back I always feel at my worst when I am unemployed. Throwing myself into work has always been my escape from everything else. At least I was earning and (usually) doing something I was good at.

Had a decent weekend but just been knocked down again. Bank beginning with a B have told me that I have somehow failed their screening with them (taken nearly two month since I was offered it and the managers said my previous dismissal wouldn’t have an impact) but their offshore HR team won’t tell me why other than it relates to this dismissal.

Feels like I’ve been talking to a wall for the last six weeks. Trying to stay positive but I’ve applied for hundreds of jobs and no one seemingly wants to know. I’ve had interviews but despite people claiming they want to work with me I’ve had no firm offers. And when I do get offers I’ve been arsed about for months.

Feels like I’m treading water with a ball and chain at the minute. Causing loads of arguments and stress with family now. I’m trying to stay positive but I feel I’m one step away from a full on breakdown.

My first job I walked into a factory, the gaffer looked at me, asked me if I could carry stuff and follow drawings and said start on Monday. How times have changed in 12 years.

Keep going my mate .

 

[Hetty]

If you are taking tablets, don't forget to hydrate more with the sunny and warm weather as you tend to sweat more

 

[shadowplay]

Sorry to hear all that. I would suggest thinking about signing up with some agencies if you haven't already gone down that route.

This, or even doing some voluntary work if that's an option.

Unemployment can be such a soul sucker, I know, and not just financially.

 

[Roker-73]

Update - looking back I always feel at my worst when I am unemployed. Throwing myself into work has always been my escape from everything else. At least I was earning and (usually) doing something I was good at.

Had a decent weekend but just been knocked down again. Bank beginning with a B have told me that I have somehow failed their screening with them (taken nearly two month since I was offered it and the managers said my previous dismissal wouldn’t have an impact) but their offshore HR team won’t tell me why other than it relates to this dismissal.

Feels like I’ve been talking to a wall for the last six weeks. Trying to stay positive but I’ve applied for hundreds of jobs and no one seemingly wants to know. I’ve had interviews but despite people claiming they want to work with me I’ve had no firm offers. And when I do get offers I’ve been arsed about for months.

Feels like I’m treading water with a ball and chain at the minute. Causing loads of arguments and stress with family now. I’m trying to stay positive but I feel I’m one step away from a full on breakdown.

My first job I walked into a factory, the gaffer looked at me, asked me if I could carry stuff and follow drawings and said start on Monday. How times have changed in 12 years.

Are you on LinkedIn and speaking to recruiters etc?

 

[rey mysterio]

Are you on LinkedIn and speaking to recruiters etc?

Aye. Going all out, in touch with loads of recruiters, agencies and contacting mutual connections just telling them who I am and that I’d be interested in any openings. One step away from standing wearing a sign saying Gizza Job.

Had a really tough day today like. Feel better after I dragged myself to the gym though. Trying to focus on that to keep me going.

Hope everyone else is doing okay.

 

[Mint]

Aye. Going all out, in touch with loads of recruiters, agencies and contacting mutual connections just telling them who I am and that I’d be interested in any openings. One step away from standing wearing a sign saying Gizza Job.

Had a really tough day today like. Feel better after I dragged myself to the gym though. Trying to focus on that to keep me going.

Hope everyone else is doing okay.

What is your job of choice mate? are you based in Sunderland aye?

 

[rey mysterio]

What is your job of choice mate? are you based in Sunderland aye?

Aye. Financial services however I’ve done factory work, call centres and office work before.

 

[Ciro_DiMarzio]

Been having an awful time recently. Relationship has broke down and I've been trying to salvage it but it seems that it can't be done. Can't bare the thought of living in a separate house to my children but looks like that's the way it going to have to be.

 

[lucky]

Been having an awful time recently. Relationship has broke down and I've been trying to salvage it but it seems that it can't be done. Can't bare the thought of living in a separate house to my children but looks like that's the way it going to have to be.

Ahh mate that's awful , it happened to me as well and I missed my daughter so much but now she lives with me. So just trying to say of you can play the long game it CAN come good.

 

[Chubbs]

Been having an awful time recently. Relationship has broke down and I've been trying to salvage it but it seems that it can't be done. Can't bare the thought of living in a separate house to my children but looks like that's the way it going to have to be.

Shit to read that mate. Friend of mine went through similar last year and the way he got through it was to break it down and deal with each issue that upset him 1 by 1 (dealing with the anger and upset of not seeing his kids as much was kept seperate to his frustration at his failing marriage) it just allowed him to try and process things 1 at a time and not be overwhelmed.

Your last sentence shows the type of parent you are and your kids will undoubtedly know what they mean to you so try and keep your head up and just remember that different doesn't have to be worse. Kids adapt far quicker than adults and ultimately if they're OK. You will be as well.
If you feel like ranting or going mad at a stranger or even just telling someone to fuck off then feel free to PM.

All the best.

 

[Ciro_DiMarzio]

Shit to read that mate. Friend of mine went through similar last year and the way he got through it was to break it down and deal with each issue that upset him 1 by 1 (dealing with the anger and upset of not seeing his kids as much was kept seperate to his frustration at his failing marriage) it just allowed him to try and process things 1 at a time and not be overwhelmed.

Your last sentence shows the type of parent you are and your kids will undoubtedly know what they mean to you so try and keep your head up and just remember that different doesn't have to be worse. Kids adapt far quicker than adults and ultimately if they're OK. You will be as well.
If you feel like ranting or going mad at a stranger or even just telling someone to fuck off then feel free to PM.

All the best.

Overwhelmed is exactly how I'm feeling. Really struggling to concentrate enough to be pro active in what I need to be sorting out.

 

[look out piano]

Overwhelmed is exactly how I'm feeling. Really struggling to concentrate enough to be pro active in what I need to be sorting out.

Much love to you my friend, I know it's really hard at the moment but there is light at the end of the tunnel so keep howld .

I've just had my phonecall from Sunderland psychological services who are referring me over for a blended support thing (to address my anxiety, comfort eating, depression and what not.....it was a small step but I just have to wait a while until I get someone to help me).
I feel a bit of relief, I've had to do something as I am dying inside in all fairness.

 

[lucky]

Much love to you my friend, I know it's really hard at the moment but there is light at the end of the tunnel so keep howld .

I've just had my phonecall from Sunderland psychological services who are referring me over for a blended support thing (to address my anxiety, comfort eating, depression and what not.....it was a small step but I just have to wait a while until I get someone to help me).
I feel a bit of relief, I've had to do something as I am dying inside in all fairness.

What you gonna do in the meantime mate while your waiting for tour phone call ? How you feeling today and same to everyone really ?. My love goes out to you all .

 

[look out piano]

What you gonna do in the meantime mate while your waiting for tour phone call ? How you feeling today and same to everyone really ?. My love goes out to you all .

Thank you, I'll just keep on keeping on to the best of my ability no matter how hard things get, I have no choice.
I'm not going to hurt myself, my bairn needs me and I'd never put him through something like that.

 

[Ciro_DiMarzio]

Much love to you my friend, I know it's really hard at the moment but there is light at the end of the tunnel so keep howld .

I've just had my phonecall from Sunderland psychological services who are referring me over for a blended support thing (to address my anxiety, comfort eating, depression and what not.....it was a small step but I just have to wait a while until I get someone to help me).
I feel a bit of relief, I've had to do something as I am dying inside in all fairness.

I hope the referral comes through quickly and is a help to you.

Anxiety is awful and in recent weeks it has really took over me. Had a couple of panic attacks too. Our lass (or should I be saying ex now) also has bad anxiety so it's making all this extremely difficult to navigate. I'm absolutely dreading telling the kids about this especially as it isn't me who wants it. Got a family day out planned for Father's Day on Sunday but will probably have to let them know what's happening that evening.

 

[Chubbs]

Overwhelmed is exactly how I'm feeling. Really struggling to concentrate enough to be pro active in what I need to be sorting out.

Break it down mate. Peice by peice. If you can make 1 part of it 1% better today than it was yesterday then you've had a better day than you think and have made worthwhile progress. There isn't going to be a quick answer I suspect.

I hope the referral comes through quickly and is a help to you.

Anxiety is awful and in recent weeks it has really took over me. Had a couple of panic attacks too. Our lass (or should I be saying ex now) also has bad anxiety so it's making all this extremely difficult to navigate. I'm absolutely dreading telling the kids about this especially as it isn't me who wants it. Got a family day out planned for Father's Day on Sunday but will probably have to let them know what's happening that evening.

Enjoy your father's day and tell them another time. A day or 2 isn't going to hurt them.