Piles

HesThereLad said:
They usually retreat back up the passage of their own accord after a week or so
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They don't once they are out. I had piles for years that would just disappear after a day or two. I got food poisoning and was shitting a laser beam for 3 days, 2 days later I had a grape that was utter torture and 10 years later still won't retreat.

At the time I ate as much ibuprofen as I could and got a cortisone cream and it burst. I genuinely couldn't walk before it burst it was so painful. What a f***ing mess. But what relief. Grey sludge and blood mixed. I walked round with a sanitary towel taped to my boxers for a week

I still suffer with bleeding piles now and again, but not painful.

I should go and get them banded, but there's some stories about the pain that makes me pray to the Lord every night that he'll find a way to make them go away 😂
Patch said:
Woah! God does actually listen to my prayers!
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Honey apparently is good. Finger in the honey, up the shitter, excess back in the jar for tomorrow's breakfast yoghurt. Repeat 3 times a day
 
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FatCat2402 said:
I got food poisoning and was shitting a laser beam for 3 days, 2 days later I had a grape that was utter torture and 10 years later still won't retreat.

At the time I ate as much ibuprofen as I could and got a cortisone cream and it burst. I genuinely couldn't walk before it burst it was so painful. What a f***ing mess. But what relief. Grey sludge and blood mixed.
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Will avoid rereading this when making my fruit smoothie in the morning
 
Cox Green Fc said:
Best and quickest ways to get rid of them, in agony with them , I'm in absolute agony when I wipe my cason.

Anyone help who've had this annoying experience in the past ?
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First thing make sure youre shitting easy , so fibre .
2 weetabix with 2tbs whole wheat bran ( the magic bullet) in it will sort that in 1 fell swoop. I put 6 dried prunes in mine for speed of transit . Get some prune juice as well and have 150ml before bed and otherwise keep well hydrated . Dont just add the wheat/ bran fibre or you will make bricks . Soup with barley , green leafy veg and soft fruit are good , as are nuts .
Excercise a little to get the muscle pump in your abdomen going , normal walk for a mile or so will do . If your doing owt more strenuous dont hold your breath and strain .
Dont sit on the bog until the bomb bay doors are opening . When you do get something to put your feet on so your knees are raised ( mimics the natural crouch position ) and relax , let nature do the work. Dont sit on the bog after with your phone.
Wipe wet, pat dry, bit of cream to make next time easier . Off you fuck . Week or so of good regime should improve matters , then work out why you got them in the first place and change it .
 
Ciro_DiMarzio said:
Is constipation the main cause of piles?
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Yes according to my missus, who has had them and doesn’t want to go to a doctor…

In fairness given her diet of basically protein, potato and something akin to corn starch I’m not surprised she thinks this.

Whenever I’m in her country I can’t shit for a week…
 
Seaham Towny said:
Yes according to my missus, who has had them and doesn’t want to go to a doctor…

In fairness given her diet of basically protein, potato and something akin to corn starch I’m not surprised she thinks this.

Whenever I’m in her country I can’t shit for a week…
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Where is she from originally? I know you've said before but my memory is crap
 
Hue Jorgan said:
Had them bad for years after mixing concrete by hand for 2 days, so I feel your pain.

there are some canny creams that numb em, and trust me…. Try gently pushing them back in, it’s basically an engorged blood vessel

I knew a fella who actually used frozen sausage up the owld poop shoot never tried it myself lol. Never wanted to go to his bbqs lol
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Myself & my wife often joke how we ever stayed together because we don't find any of the same stuff funny.

By fuck, we both pissed ourselves at that.
 
Quite a lot of blood when I wiping atm. 🙁

Not losing a load of weight or feeling tired or owt, so hopefully just something boring.
 

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