Piles



I've had them on and off for 25 years. When I was younger, striaght to the GP. He would prescribe suppositories for the internal pile and some special cream for the external ones (the worst one) that makes it difficult to move.

As has been pointed out already, you need more fibre in your diet. I have three weetabix every other day. A company called META Mucil make a powder that you drink. put the powder in water and it becomes a kind of milkshake. That will fix your stool (soft and buliky) is the king of stools haha
Unfortunately once you've had them once, you'll be vulnerable to getting them forever. Some pain meds cause constipation and if you're dehydrated too, that will make the turd dry and extremely hard to 'pass' and will cause piles. You do not want 'dry shite' trust me.
To sum up

Preventatives - Fibre, hydration and light exercise, bananas.

In the bog- Don't strain, if you're straining to get the bugger out then the stool is not ready to be droppef off. Or even worse it's large dry/compacted. Red alert! Get some of that drink I told you about (there are others) and drink about 500ml of it and laxative and brace yourself. It's going to be uncomfortable and ruin your day.
Post crap - bog roll between your cheeks and stand up and remain in that position for a minute or so. The bowel will hopefully return to a natural state.

Thrombosis i.e. piles...
-internall suppositories will shrink the thrombosed vein. The irony is you need to push the suppository (bullet shape) up your anus, the very place you want nothing to do with.
-cream will soothe the external one

Expect three to four days of recovery. Once recovered get a routine going to avoid another one.

Things that cause piles - excess alcohol (dehydration) poor diet, excess coughing (try coughing when you've got a baked bean stuck to your hoop) pain meds that cause constipation, that lead to a compacted dry stool AVOID!

Here's to a better experience of making a turd (thumbs up)

p.s. actually we don't want a thumb up the bum
S.S.R.. said:
Quite a lot of blood when I wiping atm. 🙁

Not losing a load of weight or feeling tired or owt, so hopefully just something boring.
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nasty, aye Anal fissure probably (small tare) in the tissue, off to the docs for you.
 
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S.S.R.. said:
Quite a lot of blood when I wiping atm. 🙁

Not losing a load of weight or feeling tired or owt, so hopefully just something boring.
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Definitely get it checked, however likely an anal fissure like mentioned.

I had it a year or two ago. Basically a cut in my arse after shifting a mega-shite. Every time I went for a plop after it reopened and was loads of blood, bog water was like strawberry Ribena.

They just eventually heal though. Helps if you try give yourself watery poos for a bit.
 
Hue Jorgan said:
Had them bad for years after mixing concrete by hand for 2 days, so I feel your pain.

there are some canny creams that numb em, and trust me…. Try gently pushing them back in, it’s basically an engorged blood vessel

I knew a fella who actually used frozen sausage up the owld poop shoot never tried it myself lol. Never wanted to go to his bbqs lol
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Why didnt you use a shovel to mix the cement?
 
I have them sometimes from dehydration, which often leads to fissures as well. Sheriproct has always been the boy for me in getting rid of them. Non-prescription things are no comparison. You can easily get Sheriproct from online pharmacies going through their 'consultation'.
 
I'm currently waiting for an appointment for Tony Robinsons Time Team and camera crew to have a look up me bum. Had unpainfull hemorrhoids for two months, went to the doctors and basically found blood in a "sample". Dunno if anyone has had the same experience but I'm terrified
 
Whey said:
I'm currently waiting for an appointment for Tony Robinsons Time Team and camera crew to have a look up me bum. Had unpainfull hemorrhoids for two months, went to the doctors and basically found blood in a "sample". Dunno if anyone has had the same experience but I'm terrified
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It's quite common for piles or anal fissures to bleed without it being something more serious. Your doctor will have ordered extra tests to make sure.
 
On the go relief is keswickian square
Invented in keswick
1 piece of toilet paper or tissue
Folded and folded until its approx 1inch square
Let cold tap run til proper cold
Wet square and place directly on ring then hold in place with wedge kegs .
It works
Cox Green Fc said:
I I've just read up that anusol helps , il have to get some of that rubbed on my rusty sheriff's badge. And the thought of pushing them in sounds very painful 😅

Last thing my rusty sheriff's badge needs
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A rusty sheriffs badge is a reward for the act of bum play .Not your bum
 
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38Red said:
It's quite common for piles or anal fissures to bleed without it being something more serious. Your doctor will have ordered extra tests to make sure.
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That would be external to the stool though unless it's very soft. Still could be a benign things also.
 
Cox Green Fc said:
Best and quickest ways to get rid of them, in agony with them , I'm in absolute agony when I wipe my cason.

Anyone help who've had this annoying experience in the past ?
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Sorry late to this thread but can offer some advice, had them for 20 odd years (someone else said that) sore as a boil if you leave them and will only get worse.

Don’t be put off by the thoughts of a haemorrhoidectomy (cut out) or banding because I can tell you now the pain of not doing anything will be a lot worse mate and I’ve had both, someone has said depends how bad they are, something frozen applied to your hoop (on the outside) does help them go back, unless you like sausages of course.

One thing I found helped me a lot, found this online
Honey Proponey™ - Bax Bees

Olive oil

Beeswax Beeswax Block (food grade, dark, light, heather) - Bax Bees


Mixed together in a small jar, equal amounts by volume. I heated the jar in a pan of water because the wax takes some melting. Spread it on ya hoop and inside if they are bad.

Most of the things you should be doing have in part been mentioned

1 make sure you are shitting loose.

2 wash your hoop (if possible) dab dry (not with bog roll) no wiping or use wet wipe.

3 exercise your stomach muscles a lot it will help eventually.

4 cut down on the drink (I had to in the end)

5 see the GP and get referred for an assessment
 
girojim said:
depends how bad they are, I got mine cut out
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I was considering this but another bloke I know who is a bleeder like me had his done and spent a couple of days in intensive care as he ruptured post discharge. I'm going to stick with the increased paperwork based on his experience.
 
PrisonBroken said:
I was considering this but another bloke I know who is a bleeder like me had his done and spent a couple of days in intensive care as he ruptured post discharge. I'm going to stick with the increased paperwork based on his experience.
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Everyone is a bleeder if they get to that stage man, I had that done and apart from your first 2 and 8 had no bother, you need to speak to the gastroenterologist, I'd say that is pretty rare, it will get worse if you leave it.
 
Will e said:
Everyone is a bleeder if they get to that stage man, I had that done and apart from your first 2 and 8 had no bother, you need to speak to the gastroenterologist, I'd say that is pretty rare, it will get worse if you leave it.
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I meant we're both haemophiliac's if they get the treatment right should be possible, something must have gone wrong to be fair, just getting older maybe
 
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