Flash Gordon
Striker
Amitriptyline.
Depression
- Thread starter Maravilla
- Start date
- Status
Amitriptyline.
chopsfc007
Striker
I was on sertraline and struggling to get to sleep then barely able stay awake on an afternoon, changed to mitazapine and i sleep really well, the issue i have is i get lots of headaches, palpitations, stomach, chest and back pain, i never know if its any side effects or physical issues.
Jakata
Central Defender
Am on both. 15mg of mirtazapine for sleep mainly. Do get aches and pains but put it down to age
chopsfc007
Striker
Im only 30, had stomach ulcers and all sorts its so frustrating when i have all them issues plus diabetes, asthma, high blood pressure and tablets to stop me being sick
Jakata
Central Defender
Take owt for the blood pressure?
chopsfc007
Striker
Yeh can't remember what they are called, i was due my third endoscopy before this pandemic, iv also started getting the shakes when lifting glasses and things
Jakata
Central Defender
That's pretty scary. I've not really had any side effects after the first few weeks though setraline is definitely a bit weird
MarcoG
Striker
Was great for helping me get to sleep but jeeez the nightmares and the sleep paralysis it caused was an absolute killer. If you're lucky enough to avoid them side effects I imagine it really does help a lot.
Jakata
Central Defender
Shit. Nowt like that really. Weird dreams though. And hangover like symptoms next morning
chopsfc007
Striker
I get them proper dry mouth and headaches
Jakata
Central Defender
Was thinking about this post this morning.
Maybe because it's a Monday
I had crippling panic attacks for much of last year. It manifested on the journey to work mainly. It got so bad I had to stop driving in and I was scaring the hell out of myself. That decision came after I'd decided to have a run out to Durham and couldn't get home. Was having to stop the car every 10 minutes. Never been so scared. I literally couldn't navigate a hill or cross a bridge for some reason.
Then the bus was just as bad but at least I wasn't putting myself or others in danger. Other times, I got lost in Sedgefield one night. A small place I'd lived in for ages. A 5 minute walk to sainsburys. A walk I'd done countless times. Had no idea how to function. Gf had to come looking for me. Was ridiculous.
It would usually shift once I got in to work. There was one day in particular it wouldn't though. I couldn't settle at my desk, walking the corridors. Tried to go for a walk at lunch time and I just couldn't leave the building. Tried 3 times. Barged in on someone's appraisal and said to manager I had to go home. Still don't know how I navigated the high street and got on a bus.
Would sit in meetings and it would come on. Trying to appear normal while the brain was going haywire counting the clock not knowing whether to flee.
It was actually setraline which eventually helped. But I wouldn't wish them like you describe on my worst enemy.
B
becs
Guest
That was a big trigger for me. I'd panic before the meeting in case I had a panic attack in the meeting, then be sitting there concentrating on my breathing and wishing it was over and hating everyone asking stupid questions at the end as I just wanted to leave. Ditto travelling on planes or sitting in the middle of a row in the theatre/cinema. Anywhere really where I couldn't make an exit without drawing attention to myself.
Lots of calming breaths and singing a song in my head really works as well as keeping focused on whatever the meeting/event is about. I noticed they seem to kick in when I'm bored and my mind wanders. Sounds daft but I heavily praise myself if I get through something without panicking, then next time I think "well you did it last time....."
I've got an excuse if I need to leave anywhere in a hurry now as I can blame it on the Crohn's. Don't know why but that seems more acceptable to people than having a panic attack.
Jakata
Central Defender
I was the same. Panic about panicking. Panic about getting stranded somewhere.
Work were no help when I finally came clean. On mornings building up from the early hours knowing I had a meeting. Saying to boss I can't possibly do it. Yeah u can etc. Supposed to implement a "plan of care" which I never did get sight of.
Kept piling it on. For a while I was convinced boss was doing it on purpose.
Tipping point finally arrived. Did try to go back twice and failed.
Took months. Hospital admission. Crisis team etc.
Helps to write that down as am so much better now, but looking back now my head is clear am trying to make some sense of it all.
Shambo
Striker
Much love and big strength to all tonight.
I've had a crazy few days since saturday with little peace up top, a shortage of sleep and some rollercoaster ups and downs. Talking nonsense on the internet serves as a good distraction, but it only goes so far. Hoping to get my head down tonight and feel brighter tomorrow.
I've had a crazy few days since saturday with little peace up top, a shortage of sleep and some rollercoaster ups and downs. Talking nonsense on the internet serves as a good distraction, but it only goes so far. Hoping to get my head down tonight and feel brighter tomorrow.
B
becs
Guest
Flash Gordon
Striker
Evening all. Not posting this for support or for anyone to read, just need to vent.
I'm so f***ing tired of talking to people.
1) It doesn't seem to work, it's just broken down my resilience instead.
2) Plenty of people "checking in" don't actually give a fuck, they just want the inside story. This is one of the drawbacks of being open about your issues. I'm usually polite, but I'm coming close to telling a lot of people to fuck off.
3) I actually think the world is f***ing shit right now and most people are *****. The last few weeks have really brought that home for me. People with vile f***ing opinions on other humans, and almost as bad "trolls" who actually spend their own precious time trying to annoy, insult, hurt other people. Just fuck off. I've got rid of my social media (not that I used to use much anyway) and I'm spending a lot less time on here (certain forums within the site anyway). I'll probably just leave it altogether soon, it's a waste of time.
I spent time with friends over skype last week doing puzzles, this online escape room thing, just for a bit of interaction and I wasn't far away from a panic attack. Maybe not the best type of game to play but I've created a f***ing panic room in my own home. That room where my computer is, which I associate with work and all the selfish ***** playing politics and trying to get ahead at the expense of others and now symbolises lockdown where I've been for 3 months now on my own. I've seen 1 friend and on a handful of occasions had chats with my neighbours and that's it. I think I'm developing some level of agoraphobia because this government has lied so much that you can't actually trust them saying it's safe. I have to use my own common sense for that and I'm not convinced yet. I want to see the fallout of the last few weeks first.
I think the complicated thing is that I've been in this head space for 2 weeks solid now and I don't actually see the benefit of getting better. I don't see a future out there for me that can be happy. I've spent a bit of time on these meds but I'm not doing it anymore. They leave me groggy throughout the next day and there are so many different side effects. I just don't trust anti-depressants. I think they''re pretty much a con. The ones that work do such fucked up things to your brain that leave you partly numb. That's just not right for me.
The only thing working for me right now is escapism. Books, Music and some games. Escapism is the only thing I can cope with because I'm just done with everything else. I'm trying to figure out if I can just put a healthy routine together still based on escapism. Just do healthy stuff but solitary. Just walk with music on and nobody else around. Keep a work schedule and do a proper job without giving a fuck about the people/politics etc. Shut everyone out and carry on, tell them I'm fine and see if I come out the other side somehow.
There's 3 people in the entire world that I'm not annoyed at right now. My brother who I used to have an uneasy relationship with but over the last year has actually become a top bloke. A friend nearby and one who's away in New Zealand. Again, it's challenging. I don't really want to talk to them about my shit. I want to hear about them, things going well in their lives give me one bit of happiness, but it's to maintain 2 way dialogue without opening up.
Honestly, it feels like the only way out of this is to embrace this society which has become completely sick, selfish and disgusting to me and I don't think I want to. Not sure where I go from here.
I'm so f***ing tired of talking to people.
1) It doesn't seem to work, it's just broken down my resilience instead.
2) Plenty of people "checking in" don't actually give a fuck, they just want the inside story. This is one of the drawbacks of being open about your issues. I'm usually polite, but I'm coming close to telling a lot of people to fuck off.
3) I actually think the world is f***ing shit right now and most people are *****. The last few weeks have really brought that home for me. People with vile f***ing opinions on other humans, and almost as bad "trolls" who actually spend their own precious time trying to annoy, insult, hurt other people. Just fuck off. I've got rid of my social media (not that I used to use much anyway) and I'm spending a lot less time on here (certain forums within the site anyway). I'll probably just leave it altogether soon, it's a waste of time.
I spent time with friends over skype last week doing puzzles, this online escape room thing, just for a bit of interaction and I wasn't far away from a panic attack. Maybe not the best type of game to play but I've created a f***ing panic room in my own home. That room where my computer is, which I associate with work and all the selfish ***** playing politics and trying to get ahead at the expense of others and now symbolises lockdown where I've been for 3 months now on my own. I've seen 1 friend and on a handful of occasions had chats with my neighbours and that's it. I think I'm developing some level of agoraphobia because this government has lied so much that you can't actually trust them saying it's safe. I have to use my own common sense for that and I'm not convinced yet. I want to see the fallout of the last few weeks first.
I think the complicated thing is that I've been in this head space for 2 weeks solid now and I don't actually see the benefit of getting better. I don't see a future out there for me that can be happy. I've spent a bit of time on these meds but I'm not doing it anymore. They leave me groggy throughout the next day and there are so many different side effects. I just don't trust anti-depressants. I think they''re pretty much a con. The ones that work do such fucked up things to your brain that leave you partly numb. That's just not right for me.
The only thing working for me right now is escapism. Books, Music and some games. Escapism is the only thing I can cope with because I'm just done with everything else. I'm trying to figure out if I can just put a healthy routine together still based on escapism. Just do healthy stuff but solitary. Just walk with music on and nobody else around. Keep a work schedule and do a proper job without giving a fuck about the people/politics etc. Shut everyone out and carry on, tell them I'm fine and see if I come out the other side somehow.
There's 3 people in the entire world that I'm not annoyed at right now. My brother who I used to have an uneasy relationship with but over the last year has actually become a top bloke. A friend nearby and one who's away in New Zealand. Again, it's challenging. I don't really want to talk to them about my shit. I want to hear about them, things going well in their lives give me one bit of happiness, but it's to maintain 2 way dialogue without opening up.
Honestly, it feels like the only way out of this is to embrace this society which has become completely sick, selfish and disgusting to me and I don't think I want to. Not sure where I go from here.
Curlyteeth
Midfield
Sorry, missed this but its very similar to how I am
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