Your favourite Bible story?



matt228 said:
Never read it mate, is it worth the hype? Never seen a sequel, like.
Click to expand...

Sequels and reboots arl ower the gaff, man

The Torah was the original, which then got remade as the Old Testament (much to the annoyance of the Torah fanboys who don't think it's canon).

Then a sequel to the Old Testament, New Testament (controversially dropping the original title 2 Old 2 Testament). This got bogged down in legal trouble after accusations of plagiarism from rival franchises like Mithras and Zoroastrianism, which are preferred by the hipsters who don't like westernised remakes of original foreign stories.

Then the next sequel really put the cat among the pigeons, the Koran which made massive changes to the original story and has all sorts of retcon plot holes. It's kind of like the Last Jedi - especially with how angry the alt.right are about it.

Nowadays the whole franchise is kind of outdated and doesn't stack up to newer mythology like the MCU, even if it still keeps plenty of people busy arguing online about whose version is best. Still, it all makes more sense than Batman Vs Superman
 
Cockney Mackem said:
Sequels and reboots arl ower the gaff, man

The Torah was the original, which then got remade as the Old Testament (much to the annoyance of the Torah fanboys who don't think it's canon).

Then a sequel to the Old Testament, New Testament (controversially dropping the original title 2 Old 2 Testament). This got bogged down in legal trouble after accusations of plagiarism from rival franchises like Mithras and Zoroastrianism, which are preferred by the hipsters who don't like westernised remakes of original foreign stories.

Then the next sequel really put the cat among the pigeons, the Koran which made massive changes to the original story and has all sorts of retcon plot holes. It's kind of like the Last Jedi - especially with how angry the alt.right are about it.

Nowadays the whole franchise is kind of outdated and doesn't stack up to newer mythology like the MCU, even if it still keeps plenty of people busy arguing online about whose version is best. Still, it all makes more sense than Batman Vs Superman
Click to expand...
I've shared this with my friend who went to Catholic school and he says you are being too generous to the Bible; he says the plot makes less sense than your summary. :lol:
 
matt228 said:
I've shared this with my friend who went to Catholic school and he says you are being too generous to the Bible; he says the plot makes less sense than your summary. :lol:
Click to expand...

:lol:

Let's not get started on the Catholics, they're the ones who released the Apocrypha which was a fill in between the first story arc and the second, kind of like Rogue One. That's where all the sequel fatigue started to set in
 
PTR said:
more the bit where he offers his daughters to be gang raped by a mob. I say "offer", actual he "beggeded them" to do it. Nice.
Click to expand...

IIRC in that story the mob wanted to lynch a gay bloke who was at their house having dinner with them, and he begged that they rape his daughter instead.

Lovely stuff.
 
I like the one where Jesus, turned a few mouldy loaves and fish, into ten thousand Big Mac's, McFlurries, and McLattes.
The crowd went home with their stomach's full, they binge watched Love Island, and they all lived happily ever after.
 
The one where God said “let there be light” and there was and he called it the sun and saw that it was good.......only it wasn’t because it slipped his mind to tell his creation that the only source of natural light that he had so kindly given them actually gave them skin cancer as well.
Love a good horror story, me like.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
The one where Indy, Dr Jones and Salah go looking for the cup of Christ and defeat the nazis by way of scaring a 600 year old man nearly to death
 
The one where an angel who looks like Alan Rickman recruits a mish mash of ethereal creatures to stop a couple of other angels from entering heaven and thus negating the whole of existence.

God looks a bit like Alanis Morrissette in a silly dress.
 
I like a good, hot sauna so I'll plump for those three dudes that kicked off the fashionfor hammams: Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. Hard as nails, those three, an hour inside the furnace and not a drop of sweat.
 

Back
Top