Your favourite Bible story?

[Cockney Mackem]

The one where God decides completely out of nowhere to kill Moses, but Moses's wife talks God out of it by quickly circumcising their infant son with a piece of flint and touching her husband's feet with the severed foreskin.

Yes, I too googled "weird Bible stories"

 

[Anthony From Blue]

The one that's so disgraceful, that they changed the words "have sex with them" to "know them" in the English translation.

That the one where Lot's daughters get drunk and shag their old man?

 

[The warthog]

The prodigal son

 

[Hank Scorpio]

The one where Jesus gets into trouble with some rough kids from the neighbourhood, so Mary sends him to live with his Aunt and Uncle. At first he struggles to fit in, but eventually he adopts to their very different life style.

 

[Hair Flick]

Exodus. Movement of Jah people

 

[NewAdventuresInWiFi]

I like the one where del boy falls through a bar

The funniest moment on television. Ever.

 

[Nipple Salad]

What psalm number is this one mate ?

Book of Frijj 40:12

 

[The Hesford Diet]

The one where Jesus gets into trouble with some rough kids from the neighbourhood, so Mary sends him to live with his Aunt and Uncle. At first he struggles to fit in, but eventually he adopts to their very different life style.

I loved The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air too.

 

[tunstall birdman]

The Good Samaritan.

 

[Lexingtongue]

Zombie Jesus returning from the dead.

 

[fyl2u]

Anyone fancy starting your favourite Koran story?

OP you game?

Reminds me of a Dara O'Briain bit in one of his standups when he's talking about people coming up to him after gigs, criticising him for making jokes about the Bible and saying "why don't you make jokes about Muslims" and he says, well, let him say it for himself:

 

[pillars of hercules]

The one where God sent a couple of bears to murder a bunch of kids for laughing at a bald guy

God

There's a moral to that story. Laugh at a baldy and it won't end well

The one where Jesus said that guns are good, abortions are bad and all foreigners should be treat with extreme prejudice.

Now there is an example of telling lies.
My favourite book is Genesis where the rogue angels come down and shag the daughters of men, producing giant offspring the Nephalim. It would make a good film.

 

[black cat in france]

The burning bush when some bugga set fire to the Wheatsheaf in Chilton.

 

[SAFCOldie]

The one where God sent a couple of bears to murder a bunch of kids for laughing at a bald guy

God

Kings ? You've got to love the old testament like

There's a moral to that story. Laugh at a baldy and it won't end well

Now there is an example of telling lies.
My favourite book is Genesis where the rogue angels come down and shag the daughters of men, producing giant offspring the Nephalim. It would make a good film.

There are some missing scriptures from the bible that fill in the blanks on this one

 

[123SunTan]

Story of Job ...

loses control of the company he founded, but comes back to make it the most valuable company in the world.

 

[My Boy Harry]

The one where that lad is born into poverty in a manger and morphs into Santa Claus and spends thousands of pounds on gifts, riding in a sleigh that goes around the world in 24 hours.

 

[Slow joe]

The one where he tells priests it's OK to pleasure themselves with small boys

What is it you particularly enjoy about that one mate ?

 

[Chappers]

Something about a dude who lives to be 900 or something, getting all species of the animals in the world to live on a boat for a few months. And two of each to boot.

 

[johnna]

bit like asking "what's your favourite fairy story" tbh, if he was real, well nobody would be dead

 

[Hair Flick]

Something about a dude who lives to be 900 or something, getting all species of the animals in the world to live on a boat for a few months. And two of each to boot.

Even better when you subsequently discard all that modern preachy science stuff about genetics and having to introduce new blood to the gene pool to avoid catastrophic mutations and that.