Urinated In Public
- Thread starter Gibraltar Mackem
- Start date
- Status
Scared of a little bother in a bar, went outside and pissed himself, got a slap from the authorities, pissing himself again on a message board. Man up.
SAFCOldie
Striker
Herberthall
Winger
Haway thenLast night in Spain.
Had just left a bar and didn't want to head back in as there was some bother - was only going to end one way.
Decided to have a piss in some doorway next to it whilst on the phone. Noticed a police car about to turn onto the road where I was - that's when I thought *fuck*.
Pretended to stay on the phone whilst me jeans were about 80% of the way up to me waist. Car stopped and the copper shouts over to me. I go over to the driver window and he is f***ing raging - asks for my passport which I give over straight away. Looks at it and says something to the other copper. I'm obviously starting to panic like fuck as I need the passport to get to work every day - so thought here we go - fine/arrest incoming.
I'm apologising non-stop in Spanish and once he's finished talking to his marra, he starts slapping me side-to-side on the face with me f***ing passport.
He told me to fuck off out the area and if I was seen again that would be it. Never exited the centre of town as quick in me life, took some convoluted route home in the hope they wouldn't follow me.
Lesson learnt - how I got away without further punishment I'll never know - but what an awful experience.
Is that what you told the police?
Number 4 - piss up the door
Not many sun beds to sleep on outside the puffin billy mind. If there were you'd end up with hypothermia
DoctorMick
Striker
Has the OP explained why he had his keks around his ankles when having a piss yet?
StripedPaddy
Winger
Back in the day during a night of hard frost, Pat was wobbling down Dawson, with a full bladder that needed an empty.
Being the altruistic lad he was , spotted a Mini parked at the kerb,windscreen well thickly frosted over .
Reckoned the owner would appreciate a ‘free defrost’ hauled out the schlong and gushed a thick stream of hot piss all over the front winder.
Had the discharge on ‘auto’ while I studied the sky when I looked down and saw a lasses hand ‘cleaning ‘ the window on the inside.
Packed the piece in ,still gushing ,and swamping my breeks but a big unit she was snogging never got near me.
Close call.
Being the altruistic lad he was , spotted a Mini parked at the kerb,windscreen well thickly frosted over .
Reckoned the owner would appreciate a ‘free defrost’ hauled out the schlong and gushed a thick stream of hot piss all over the front winder.
Had the discharge on ‘auto’ while I studied the sky when I looked down and saw a lasses hand ‘cleaning ‘ the window on the inside.
Packed the piece in ,still gushing ,and swamping my breeks but a big unit she was snogging never got near me.
Close call.
Daydream Believer
Striker
Last night in Spain.
Had just left a bar and didn't want to head back in as there was some bother - was only going to end one way.
Decided to have a piss in some doorway next to it whilst on the phone. Noticed a police car about to turn onto the road where I was - that's when I thought *fuck*.
Pretended to stay on the phone whilst me jeans were about 80% of the way up to me waist. Car stopped and the copper shouts over to me. I go over to the driver window and he is f***ing raging - asks for my passport which I give over straight away. Looks at it and says something to the other copper. I'm obviously starting to panic like fuck as I need the passport to get to work every day - so thought here we go - fine/arrest incoming.
I'm apologising non-stop in Spanish and once he's finished talking to his marra, he starts slapping me side-to-side on the face with me f***ing passport.
He told me to fuck off out the area and if I was seen again that would be it. Never exited the centre of town as quick in me life, took some convoluted route home in the hope they wouldn't follow me.
Lesson learnt - how I got away without further punishment I'll never know - but what an awful experience.
Daydream Believer
Striker
Last night in Spain.
Had just left a bar and didn't want to head back in as there was some bother - was only going to end one way.
Decided to have a piss in some doorway next to it whilst on the phone. Noticed a police car about to turn onto the road where I was - that's when I thought *fuck*.
Pretended to stay on the phone whilst me jeans were about 80% of the way up to me waist. Car stopped and the copper shouts over to me. I go over to the driver window and he is f***ing raging - asks for my passport which I give over straight away. Looks at it and says something to the other copper. I'm obviously starting to panic like fuck as I need the passport to get to work every day - so thought here we go - fine/arrest incoming.
I'm apologising non-stop in Spanish and once he's finished talking to his marra, he starts slapping me side-to-side on the face with me f***ing passport.
He told me to fuck off out the area and if I was seen again that would be it. Never exited the centre of town as quick in me life, took some convoluted route home in the hope they wouldn't follow me.
Lesson learnt - how I got away without further punishment I'll never know - but what an awful experience.
Eh? You don't need to do that just for a piss. Learn to piss like a grownup ffs.
D
Deleted member 18718
Guest
Years ago I got caught one night in Durham. The copper said don't do it again and I was so happy I didn't get lifted as I was only in Durham to pick up 20 tabs of acid and some speed for a party we were heading to and had them in my pocket.
Latka Gravas
Striker
MackneyHackem
Striker
My mate did the same thing in Barcelona. The people who lived in the building were on their balcony and came downstairs and as my mate is trying his best to apologise one of the lads kicked him in the knackers. He hit the deck and his glasses smashed and they booted him all over.
Latka Gravas
Striker
I got caught next to blacklocks down the back alley on Christmas Eve, just got a lecture. Very lucky boy.
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