Jakata
Central Defender
Slept with one eye open
Partner's kids
- Thread starter Jakata
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General Zod
Striker
Yeah, you're 100% correct. Every case is different but you are not alone in finding it difficult. It can put a strain on a relationship & be a real test if you really want to be with someone. I dont think there's a magical solution as what is good for one case may not necessarily be good for another but to reduce the pressure I'd suggest you consistently present the best version of yourself to the kids & let your other half deal directly with any disciplinary issues. Also accept that whatever you do kids may not show gratitude as many kids go through long phases of being selfish & expect to receive without giving back.
Also remember we are living in difficult times - lockdown has impaired the mental health of kids & adults alike so emotions & anxiety levels are running high.
Good luck with it all mate.
Mackemansj1
Striker
When I was a kid I went through this from the kids side, you have to see it from Thier point of view as someone earlier on said. Your some random bloke moving in changing everyone's lives, you've just gotta be patient don't force anything and just be yourself around them. Kids ain't daft they can smell a phony from miles away and trying too hard is just as bad. It's a difficult situation and can be hard but if you love Thier ma so much then it will be worth the graft for you and the ma.
Old Prestonian
Striker
Nee idea who the child is. Why don't you fuck off to a Mag board if you don't like it here?
Struggled with this myself.
The ex's daughter was 14 when we got a new place together. She was moody, distant and lazy but she could do no wrong in the ex's eyes. She never challenged her on anything.
I drove her places, took her for family meals, paid for a couple of holidays but she was just miserable. She had a big bedroom, all mod cons and her boyfriend even moved in towards the end. We split up 7 years later and nothing much had changed. She'd put on 3 or 4 stone through eating shite and no exercise and unsurprisingly had low self exteme. I never gelled with her at all. I think she saw me as driving a wedge between her and her mother. Ho hum.
My new girlfriend's son is 28, lives in his own place and has met me once for 10 minutes in 8 months. He doesn't want me to be part of the family. His Dad died 13 years ago. I'm not that bothered about being part of the family but being civil would be a start, especially at birthdays and Xmas. Bizarre?
The ex's daughter was 14 when we got a new place together. She was moody, distant and lazy but she could do no wrong in the ex's eyes. She never challenged her on anything.
I drove her places, took her for family meals, paid for a couple of holidays but she was just miserable. She had a big bedroom, all mod cons and her boyfriend even moved in towards the end. We split up 7 years later and nothing much had changed. She'd put on 3 or 4 stone through eating shite and no exercise and unsurprisingly had low self exteme. I never gelled with her at all. I think she saw me as driving a wedge between her and her mother. Ho hum.
My new girlfriend's son is 28, lives in his own place and has met me once for 10 minutes in 8 months. He doesn't want me to be part of the family. His Dad died 13 years ago. I'm not that bothered about being part of the family but being civil would be a start, especially at birthdays and Xmas. Bizarre?
monkeytassle
Striker
Really? From you?
Nail on the heed from one of the wisest posters on this board
Yeah, I don't like jokes made at the expense of a dead child. Clearly I'm in the wrong here.
Old Prestonian
Striker
Which bit didn't you read numbnut?
JAZZMANB
Striker
Wouldnt be a bad method but nope.If lads did what they'd love to do they'd get blown out non stop thats why loads live in denial
.Slow starter,too fussy and stuck at it once i landed a good un.Two lasses covering 25years.Don't see the point in being attached to anyone now . Do dating sites then think what have i started here after a few dates .Nice lasses just like my no ties lifestyle now .
Goat Eyes
Striker
As a 40 year old bloke whose mam has been single for about the last 32 years since she split from my dad, with the exception of one short relationship about 25 years ago. I’d think, whose this bell end, I’m an adult now and very nice and civil but I’d be taking you out for a few pints and sussing you right out. I’d be telling you to sling your hook if you were a dick.
Why would you assume someone you've never met is a bellend?
Unfortunately her son is the dick. He acted the same with her previous partner too albeit he was only a teenager at the time. He literally knows nothing about me. I think he expects his Mam to sit in the house alone.
Some Random Guy
Striker
It's not really your place to tell some bloke that's rattling your mam to sling his hook like.
To him she isn't a person with wants and needs, she's his mam.
How bad can you be really? You spend all day looking after this place so you don't have time to be a serial rapist or something.
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Banks
Striker
Not really seeing your point on this one like. You've only been with his mam 8 months and he's a grown bloke who lives alone. Why does he need to make an effort with his mams latest bf?
Goat Eyes
Striker
It’s absolutely my place if he’s a bell end.It's not really your place to tell some bloke that's rattling your mam to sling his hook like.
To him she isn't a person with wants and needs, she's his mam.
How bad can you be really? You spend all day looking after this place so you don't have time to be a serial rapist or something.
I’d let Keith be my new dad.
Some Random Guy
Striker
It's your mam, not your teenage daughter. If she wants to spend her old age getting trained by a bunch of blerks that are bellends it's her business. You aren't a kid, she's not finding you a new dad.
Goat Eyes
Striker
My job to protect her as much as my young daughter.
Not really seeing your point on this one like. You've only been with his mam 8 months and he's a grown bloke who lives alone. Why does he need to make an effort with his mams latest bf?
He has refused to go out for mother's day with her with me there. Then there will be birthday's and Xmas to come. I'm not expecting to see much of him but he just needs to be civil IMO.
Banks
Striker
Not really seeing why you need to be there mother's Day like bit strange. If your missus has asked you to be there that's also strange on her part.
Mother's Day is a family occasion where the mother's children show their appreciation. Not seeing how her latest bf fits into that day.
Birthdays and Xmas fair enough but from your posts you aren't taking this lads view into consideration.
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